The next couple of days passed quite painfully for CID. Alex and Ray weren't talking and neither were they embarrassing each other, but Ray's striptease and lap dance as Alex was still the main topic of conversation. Another main topic of conversation was the fact that the Guv was now sleeping with Skyler May. This absolutely crushed Alex, and she had become very subdued as Ray. Ray himself was just about passing as Drake, convincing the Guv that they needed to release Paul Grahams and Cairo Rodrigos as they had nothing on them. But on the whole, CID was no closer to sending down Jackson's Army than Chris was to becoming Prime Minister.

"Right, you lot!" Gene boomed. "This morning, I want results! This Jackson's Army bombing bollocks has been going on for nearly a week now. I want names, I want people bein' interviewed, I want this shit cleared up by the end of the day! Got it?"

There was a chorus of "Yes Guv"s as they all got into action. Ray began to look through the alibis of Paul Grahams and Cairo Rodrigos and Alex began reading through the list of names of people who were in the close friendship circle of those three members of Jackson's Army that they had already arrested.

The hours dragged on, and Ray's stomach began to experience searing pains. It felt as if he was being poked forcefully in the lower stomach, and the cramps were becoming unbearable to work with. He knew he'd have to break the ice and talk to Alex.

Ray winced in pain as he stood up and made his way over to Alex.

"Ray," he said exaggeratedly, "can you come with me a second? Kitchen? Please? Need to talk to you. About…the suspects."

Alex eyed Ray suspiciously. "What?"

"I need to talk to you," Ray groaned through gritted teeth. Tutting, Alex got up and accompanied Ray into the empty kitchen.

"What?" Alex said coldly.

"I'd like to know what the bleedin' 'ell your body's putting me through!" Ray winced, sitting down as the stabbing pains got worse.

"What do you mean?" Alex queried.

"Feels like I'm bein' bloody stabbed!" Ray gasped. Alex's mouth opened into the perfect 'O' shape as she counted back the dates in her head.

"Oh great," Alex muttered, "that's just bloody fantastic."

"What?" Ray demanded.

"Um, well, I don't really know how to tell you this, Ray, but it seems as if for the first time in your life you're experiencing menstrual cramps," Alex blushed.

Ray's mouth dropped.

"Tell me this is a f*cking joke."

Alex laughed nervously. "Oh God, what are we going to do? My period's due today. We need to go back to my flat."

"Of all the flippin' things…" Ray growled, "you women…why can't you be bloody normal?"

-----------------

Ray and Alex snuck out of CID unnoticed and flagged down a taxi back to Alex's flat. You'd think Ray was in labour the way he was screaming in the back of the taxi.

"I'm gonna die," Ray groaned melodramatically as the taxi driver looked worried.

"Your girlfriend all right, mate?" he asked Alex, nodding at Ray.

"Not my girlfriend," Alex said bluntly, "and yeah, she's fine. She's just being a drama queen."

"You're the drama queen," Ray snapped, panting for breath, "everything's always about you. You, you, you…"

"Great, and now you've got PMS," Alex muttered, "just what I need, a hormonal Ray!"

Slipping into the flat, Ray collapsed on the sofa moaning and groaning whilst Alex fished the necessities out of the drawer in her bedroom.

"I never thought I'd ever be having this conversation with you," Alex sighed, fighting the urge to laugh.

"Yeah, didn't quite think I'd ever have a period," Ray smirked, wincing in pain once more.

"Right," Alex began, "I think we're going to have to get over the embarrassment and just plunge straight in here. You have two options, Ray. This –"

Ray eyed it suspiciously. "What's that, a nappy?"

Alex sighed in frustration. "No, Raymondo, it's called a sanitary towel. You put it along the bottom of your knickers. My knickers. Whatever. But they have to be changed every four to six hours really, because of the blood…"

"Blood?" Ray repeated. "God, how much do you bleed?"

"The other choice," Alex continued, cutting across him, "are these, which I prefer. You change them every six to eight hours but…erm…"

"They're the ones that go up yer fanny, aren't they?" Ray smirked.

Alex blushed furiously, and then decided to turn the tables. "And you know that because?"

"Bird I shagged last year," Ray muttered darkly, "stupid cow forgot to mention she 'ad the decorators in when I went to get down with it…my pride and joy 'ad a nasty shock tryin' ter gain entry!"

"Yuck!" Alex squealed. "Way too much information, Ray!" She shuddered visibly, and then picked up the sanitary towels and the tampons. "I think I'd rather you used these to be honest, Ray," Alex mumbled, looking at the floor.

"The nappy things?" Ray grinned. "Why's that then, Ma'am?"

"No reason."

"You don't want me fiddlin' about down under, is that it?"

"Look just shut up, Ray! Fine. Use whatever you want. I don't care," Alex flounced, going over to the kitchen cupboards. "Then you need to take these for the pain."

--------------------------

Ray locked himself in Alex's bathroom with the box of pads and tampons. He eyed them challengingly, trying to decide which to go for. He doubted the pads would fit correctly over Drake's non-existent knickers, so reluctantly, he reached for the tampons.

Reading the instructions, Ray looked disgusted. "What the hell?" he gawped. He stripped Drake's jeans off and pulled down her tiny knickers, and following the tampon instructions, put one leg up on the toilet seat.

"Maybe I should've picked the bloody nappies after all," he muttered darkly. After a few more minutes, Ray was satisfied with his handy work. He was just doing a victory dance when he noticed little droplets of stained blood on the bathroom carpet.

"Bugger!" he moaned. "Aleeeeeex, I made a mess!"

"What? How can you make a mess when the flow isn't even heavy yet?"

It gets heavier? The little bastards! "Look, it's not my fault you're dripping like a –"

"Oh just shut up, Ray!" Alex groaned, getting ready to go back to CID.

A/N: Hey everyone, just to let you know the next update will most likely be on Saturday because I'm in London tomorrow and I have rehearsals all night Friday :( sorry for the longer wait, but please R&R as always ! :D love x