--The Illusion that Binds--

A false sense of security…

It was one of the many methods L used in his attempts to confuse him.

How did Raito know this? How was he so certain?

He was now taking a shower without a cuffed L waiting outside the curtains -- a first in a very long time.

Raito, turning the shower nozzle off, could faintly hear L in the other room, his gravelly voice slipping through the slightly ajar bathroom door; he was speaking to Aiber, the man's phone call the reason they were up at dawn and Raito was showering.

This was not the first of L attempting to make him drop his guard in this way. It had been steadily going on since they had made that agreement (not to say that L hadn't used the tactic before all of this) but the only difference from then and now was that he used it more frequently.

For instance, a few days ago, L had given him his case journals.

Raito had always assumed that L was the same age as him, or younger, because of his appearance and his fluctuating maturity levels. But with the assumption that they were around the same age, the case dates that Raito had run across in his journals were quickly making him change his estimate. There were many cases in 1993 that, if Raito had guessed L was the same age, would have meant L was seven when he solved them. Seven! L was a genius, but seven was a bit too much.

So Raito concluded by the timeline he had summed up so far, that L had to be in his mid- twenties. It was unbelievable, considering that this was L he was talking about, a man who looked like he was barely hitting sixteen and ate cake like it was going out of style.

He had also let it "slip" that he had stayed in London. The last time he had told him England, but now he'd reduced it down to a city.

L was carefully picking and sharing harmless bits of information. Raito guessed since they had gone to bed, he was putting up countermeasures against him. Giving him these small favors of information, so he would think the detective was going soft on him. Trying to fool him into thinking they were becoming securer with each other with this new dynamic in their relationship.

He wouldn't fall for that, and L knew he wouldn't fall for that, but he would try nonetheless.

Wrapping a towel around his waist, Raito stepped over the raised tile separating him from the floor, his feet immediately touching down on the fluffed-up teal rug awaiting him.

The door was closed with only a sliver of light creeping in, that line of luminance crawling across the floor similar to the false sense of security L offered with his turned back and his soft voice steady through the walls…

It all started off small, but –

Raito watched the line grow by his own actions as he opened the door, until that light encompassed his shadow and he was apart of it.

He stepped into the bedroom.

"… regulars at Lourdes. I do not plan to have them picked up. The church will act even more hostile towards our presence if we announce our intentions so boldly. I also do not want to stir up things between the Father and his church, so I will leave these matters alone and concentrate on retrieving the murder-notebook.

"No, it should be fine. Yes. It will be next Sunday. Yes. He is doing a better job than I think even you could." L glanced over at him. "He is my trump card. Yes." There was a long pause. "I will have to ask you to not mention that again, or I will send Watari after you." Pause. "Yes, that was a threat. Goodbye Aiber."

L snapped his cell phone close and promptly patted the spot next to him on the bed.

"Does Raito-kun wish to know the names and addresses of our friendly escorts from yesterday?"

Raito took the spot promised to him, along with the file L had suddenly produced, and glimpsed over the included profiles. "A Mr. Matthieu Laurent and a Mr. Paul Girard. Hmm… they're absolutely clean."

Raito flipped through more dossiers. Ten more to be precise. As research was now geared towards a certain Bible study group that their tailers attended regularly at Lourdes. And when Raito used the expression Bible study group, he used it loosely, as the group was not typical. For one there were no women in the group. The men were also ranging in their late twenties to early thirties; this limited age scale, along with the no women implying they were an exclusionist party.

But those reasons were all speculation and not solid enough to start an investigation. No. What had brought their attention to the group, instead of them looking into their followers as separate cases, was the fact that Father Rene headed the study group. It was not hard to figure out after that who had hand-selected those two men to go after them.

It also did not help Father Rene in the suspect poll when his topic of discussion for his group the very evening they were being tailed revolved around Kira.

Come on.

Raito tried not to laugh out loud at the absurdity of this man. Of all the things to do in one afternoon, you do not hire men to follow L and then turn right around to rant about Kira. Did he even know the meaning of the word covert? Did it ever cross his mind that he was being monitored? Did he want to kill him with laughter? Because it looked that way.

Raito rested the file on his lap and asked L "What are you going to do?" to get away from his urge to laugh at Father Retard.

"The same thing I've been doing for the past week," L replied. "I don't have much choice."

"Don't you think you're being a little reckless?" Raito warned, closing the folder and placing it to the side. "They could get violent."

Actually, he was counting on it.

"Yes, but I don't think they're organized or aware enough to stage anything at this point. So I shall continue to visit the Father."

Yes, L would not leave Father Ignatius alone until he had that deathnote in his hands. He would put his life in danger for it, but the way L saw it, those men posed no threat to him. And he was absolutely right. Those idiots couldn't plan their way out of a paper bag, much less figure out a way to deal with L without getting killed in the process. The farce of tagalongs that the Bishop had sent after them was proof of that.

Yet, what these people simply lacked was a leader who actually knew how to command and move them in the right direction.

Raito was planning to change that very soon.

"So the only thing we can do right now is wait." Raito fixed his eyes on the bathroom door, now wide open and showing off the porcelain sink and a blue cup with two hotel toothbrushes.

With a finger hanging off his mouth, L slumped back and blankly stared up at the ceiling.

"Only ten percent of any case is action, while the other 90 percent is usually the preparation for it."

"We should go relieve Mogi-san of surveillance duty then."

Raito made to stand, but a hand from L stopped him, pale fingers now wrapped around a corner of his towel and pulling lightly until the detective was able to get an arm around him. He felt L bury his nose in his lower back, a pout evident in his voice as he spoke. "Where is Raito-kun going?"

"He's going to do some work," Raito informed him, but quickly gave up on that idea when L's other hand wrapped around him from behind.

L nuzzled into his lower back and breathed out, "You smell good."

Raito put his hands on L's arms and turned in his embrace. He let the amusement show on his features as he lowered himself to sit on the bed beside the detective. "Last night not enough for you?"

"No, I was very satisfied. Raito-kun is a tomcat in bed." L interrupted himself to rub his feet together and then added, "But that was last night. Today is a new day."

"You can say it however you want, but last night is not two in the morning," Raito corrected. "I only got four hours of sleep."

"I had less, but that is not what's important," dismissing him faster than he would artificial sweetener in his tea, L slid the drawer of the nightstand open. Raito had no idea why he was doing that, since the bottle of lotion was sitting on top of the dresser and staring them right in the face.

Although when he spied inside the nightstand, he immediately understood the detective's reasons.

Raito reached over L's shoulder and tossed a roll of condoms between them. "Now I'm just curious – when exactly did you have the time to buy these?"

There was also a tube of KY-jelly in the drawer.

Quick to evade his question, L began to tug on his towel and Raito grabbed onto the wrist of the hand busy at his waist. There was obviously something not connecting here.

"So how did Watari find out, you big mouth."

"I did not brag about it if that is what Raito-kun is thinking." L tried one more time to get his towel off and Raito pressed his hand to the mattress. Then L added plainly, "I told him I needed a few things and he went out and bought them for me – a very normal routine between us."

"Except it's not cake or faded jeans -- it's condoms and lube."

L gave him a disgruntled look. "That offends me somehow," but rising above the occasion in a mature-like fashion (since he could not kick Raito in this position) he continued on. "Watari is very trustworthy. He will keep quiet -- although, he has not stopped criticizing me over the phone for it. He thinks since Raito-kun has such a proper upbringing and is so well mannered that I am clearly taking advantage of you. When really, it is I who is being –"

"L, what does this have to do with anything?" Raito interrupted. Then quick to point out, "And I might have come onto you, but you're the one who agreed to it. Don't act like I'm dragging you kicking and screaming into this."

L straightened up and smiled a bit at the tart reminder. "We are getting off topic," he said, and then tried to get them back on topic by yanking at his towel.

He knew what L was trying to accomplish by hinting at their nocturnal activities with his bodyguard. Watari was L's right-hand man, so if anything were to happen to the detective, then it would be his job to carryout the investigation or inform someone who could properly take the detective's place. L blabbing to Watari was something that he had foreseen.

L thought he was so smart, using Watari's knowledge to serve as his own warning that not only were his eyes on him, but Watari's as well. Raito was no stranger to scrutiny and neither was he a stranger at using that scrutiny for his own gain, so L could inform his Doberman of the details and Raito felt confident, even more so, that his plans were in no danger.

Raito could attempt to overturn every stone of doubt that existed between him and L. He could try to prove his innocence by pitting his wits against each singular string of logic that L had sewn neatly into this case. He could do that, or he could just take his evidence out in one fell swoop by going with his current plan. And part of that current plan was distracting the detective. He had far more pressing issues to attend to than jumping at every suspicion L set out before him, Raito thought, a smile implicit on his lips as he swiped the pack of condoms between them and tore one from the rest.

He had given L many nights of submission, and he would continue to for the sake of his plans, but at this turn of events, he was more than willing to try something different.

He had not thought L would actually get condoms since the detective seemed to enjoy taking him without. But how fortunate for him that L had gotten Watari to purchase them.

Raito was a naturally curious person; he was also an eighteen-year-old boy with a healthy sex-drive, so his curiosity in the different aspects of what sex involved was very normal. And certainly part of that typical interest involved a perspective change, as in, what L felt during the process.

Of course, Raito did not want to jeopardize the work he had done so far with this new pursuit, but certainly it would be weird if he didn't want to at least try this once, or twice, by the looks of things.

He more than enjoyed what he and L did on a regular basis, but some of the noises and the things the detective said when he was inside him -- it did not take massive amounts of empathy to see that L really (really) enjoyed having sex with him.

And try as he might to be satisfied with what he was given, Raito felt the need to have more. It was something foreign to him. He was not used to desiring things for the pure sake of it, but he supposed he was at that age where his body was ruled by hormones.

And really, what harm could there be in allowing it if he was careful and used a condom correctly?

Raito tore the plastic wrapping off the condom with his teeth and got L's attention faster than if he had turned his head himself.

"I don't think it's right for one human being to possess so much sex appeal," L brooded, a thumb ghosting over his mouth before he made up his mind to do something about the inherent crisis this situation posed.

"I must investigate."

Laughing a bit, because L was an idiot with a seamless poker face, Raito grabbed him by the front of the shirt and helped him along with his "inquiry."

In the ensuing kiss, Raito quickly lost the clingy towel.

He put his hands on L's shoulders and eased him back, the fact that he was naked and in his lap enough to distract the detective from thinking anything of it.

Raito slipped his hands under L's shirt, tugging the material up his chest and breaking away from his mouth so he could pull it over his head and toss it. The same were done to his jeans, his clothes now nothing but a pile on the floor. L did not seem to take notice, too busy trying to kiss and stare at him at the same time.

When they were together, it was normal for some clothes to remain on, as the 'heat of the moment' was only involved in getting them on the bed… or the floor, or against the wall, or whatever solid surface would permit them to continue.

Taking off clothes seemed time-consuming and a bit too intimate for what their relationship entailed, so it seemed like the valid choice to skip the experience all together and focus on other things.

Raito was not a shy person; at one point his heavily monitored room and shower were testaments to that, so undressing in front of L, there was nothing new there.

L began to sit up, which was not conducive to his plans, but which he would permit for the time being. Raito watched him as he tentatively ran a hand up his arm, down his chest, and then back and forth over his sides, like he was searching around for something.

"Raito-kun has a nice body. It is hard to tell he is so athletic looking under his shirt." L drew a finger over the dip in his stomach and followed that line of definition up to the center of his chest." It reminded him of a subtler version of a Greek statue, the lean firmness in his arms and sides graceful as they were strong.

"When Raito-kun grows up, I think I am going to be in a lot of trouble," L quipped, as he passed his hands down his sides again.

"Who says you're not in trouble now?" Raito purred, wrapping both his arms around L's middle and resting his head on his chest.

"Then let's hope I stay in trouble."

Smirking at L's conclusion, Raito nuzzled him and began to nip his way down.

L had a slender build, his arms wiry, but with an outline of basic upper muscle in them. His chest and stomach were flat but in no way unshaped, the spare musculature he had finely delineated. In width of chest and waist they were the same size, the only difference would be that L was lankier and slimmer in some areas.

He was also a shade paler, his skin unmarred, not a blemish or scar in sight. Raito had an impulse to leave a mark, but then he would be making a hypocrite out of himself, as elbowing L away every time he tried to suck a bruise on his neck was a recent favorite of his.

The hands on the back of his neck had transferred their weight to his shoulders, but instead of encouraging his descent, they nudged him back slightly.

"I do not want to discourage your friskiness, but the lube." L glanced over at the nightstand and Raito raised his head to stare at him. It seemed that L wanted to jump straight to the main event, and not even a blowjob – something that seemed to be a big favorite – could distract him.

Exhaling, Raito lifted himself from L to scrounge around in the side-drawer. He had actually wanted to use foreplay to warm L up to the idea of letting him get top, but now with that plan kicked to the side, he might as well just come right out and say it.

"L?" he asked softly, as he turned around and faced the detective.

"Hm?" L held out his hand to take the lube and Raito immediately slipped into the space of his arms, quickly distracting him from the item asked for.

"I was thinking," he whispered, sultry voice dusting against L's ear, "would you like to try something different?"

"This different thing," L enunciated, as if the words stung him, "what does it involve?"

"Well, it involves me being on top," and to demonstrate his point, Raito again pushed L on his back.

"I have no problem with that," L told him and Raito could tell by his tone that he was ignoring the actual implications.

"You know what I mean," Raito said a bit firmly. After a minute (which was completely unnecessary) L gave him one of those faked 'oh' looks before he answered back "I have a problem with that."

Oh no you don't. "I feel like trying it this way," he causally offered, but at the same time opposing his tone by squeezing L tighter around the midsection and gazing up at him earnestly.

L glanced to the side, like he was trying to avoid the matter. He tilted his head, glanced to the side again. "It is hard to decide when Raito-kun makes a face like that." He scratched his head as if he were thinking about it some more, only to come up with the conclusion that "no, he did not want to try it that way."

Raito immediately fixed L with a gaze that would have withered the devil on the spot. "I wasn't asking," he stated.

L got a dopey look on his face. "Raito-kun is as pretty as he is scary."

Remembering his temper, Raito eased back into a more persuasive voice. "It's not that bad," he negotiated. "It actually feels good after you get used to it." He opened the tube and squeezed some into his palm, the substance cool, but warming up as he rubbed his fingers together.

"Then why don't you get use to it some more?" L added with that same dopey expression.

Raito dropped the lube on the bed and frostily stared at him. "Your other option would be I could just not have sex with you."

L stared back. "I don't like that option.

Raito rolled his eyes and placed a hand on one of L's knees. He then bent over him and slid his hand lower and lower. "I promise you'll enjoy this," he whispered, fingers now feeling at the place he needed to go.

L tilted his head so his mouth was right under his. He smiled a little, which caught Raito off-guard, then he lunged forward and kissed him, open-mouthed and hard, which caught Raito even more off-guard.

Startled but not opposed, Raito recognized that L would want the distraction, so he allowed it.

Letting the detective control the kiss, Raito pressed and moved his fingers against the walls of his body. L was strangely relaxed as he continued his ministrations. However all that changed when Raito found his prostate.

"Hnn." L twitched under him and kissed him harder. Raito shifted and broke away from his mouth, his balance upset by L suddenly trying to pull him down. He propped himself up with the hand not in use and leaned into his ear.

"Does it hurt?"

L blinked and twitched again, but did not answer him. Although, a verbal response from L was not necessary, not when his body was already responding to him. Raito, wanting to further distract, rubbed a leg playfully against him, but L quickly halted the movement by grabbing onto his thigh.

"Not yet" he told him, voice hoarse. "Afterwards, when you're finished – I'll be taking Raito-kun then."

Raito smiled, as if he were a cat batting a mouse between sharp paws. "I'll be more than happy to give you your turn -- but only if you can last that long."

"Don't worry, you'll be on your back in no time," and to emphasize that claim, L ran his fingers up the curve of his spine, while at the same time his other hand was reaching out to retrieve the condom amongst the sheets.

After applying lubricant to it, L helped roll it onto his member and Raito had to swiftly bite back a gasp as he continued to touch him through the latex.

"Mm…stop." Raito snatched the troublesome appendage away, pinning it under his hand and trying to do the same to the other. But L had wrapped that arm around his back, and as he tugged him closer, he had an infinitely pleased look on his face.

Raito smiled back because he had an assured way of ridding him of that smirk.

L, it seemed, had a weak spot when it came to his ears, and Raito, taking full advantage of that knowledge, slipped his tongue into the canal and watched as he forgot how to breathe.

He was now beginning to press inside of him; L had locked both knees around his hips, and using the first impetus of his thrust, he helped him along.

Raito moaned, letting L pull him back down and then push up against him. His fingers scrambled for something to hold, only to end up clutching onto the arm thrown around his shoulders.

Raito let his eyes drift close, the tempo set by L the same pitch and cadence of taking a breath, a slow rise and fall that allowed Raito as much control over movement as it did L. The legs around his hips became tenser as they rocked back and forth, until L, digging his knees into his sides to find a better perch, consequently broke their easy rhythm.

Tightening his grip around L's arm, Raito used that support and drove back into him, their tempo resumed, but now faster.

He found L staring at him, a soft palm now touching his cheek and running down his neck.

L groaned something inaudible, ran his fingers through his hair and then yanked him down to his mouth. "You're close… you just need a little more…"

Raito closed his eyes against L's encouragements because he was right there, and just about anything would set him off at this point. He wanted it to last, he wanted it to not end yet…

But that build-up in the pit of his stomach wouldn't unclench, only wounding tighter with each thrust he managed and trust back L completed. His voice was escaping through his panting mouth, even when he clenched his teeth and fought hard against that throb of pleasure that seemed to be gradually separating him from himself, gradually pulling until thrust in and out were no longer two separate things.

His orgasm caught him off-guard, as most things with L normally did. Muscles in his lower stomach and legs contracting until the pull felt like tearing, as if skin from bone, so intense the wave was. Raito thought he had blacked out until he heard himself shout L's name and felt the sharp jut of a knee catch him in the ribs, L partially holding him up with his legs as he came.

Immediate pleasure burned hot under his skin like a flaring candle before death. The slow heat that rose to the surface in its place making him shudder and press down on the body under him.

He heard L groan, the sound rough and scratchy, like stone dragged over glass. Painfully erect and in need of relief from his own swarming desire, L tightened his hands around him and practically flipped them over. Raito huffed out an unappreciative swear at the sudden jostling, his skin too hypersensitive after climax for him not to.

He felt L's fingers at his entrance, the detective already prepping him with lubricant and the intensity of getting his prostate massaged was magnified by the fact that he'd just come and hadn't gotten any air to his lungs yet.

Raito pressed his hands against L's shoulders to get some breathing distance -- he just needed a minute, but L didn't seem to want to even spare a second. He made a frustrated noise when L twisted his fingers upon leaving his body, causing his legs to jerk up involuntarily and giving L the idea to haul one up and rest it on his shoulder.

"I need a – uhh," Raito lost his sentence as L entered him, and found it again when the detective stopped to fully settle inside of him. "I need a minute," he murmured, his words overshadowed by the way he was breathing.

His skin hadn't stopped prickling in the aftermath of his own release, and every brush against L just heightened those traces of pleasure still clinging to his body; his face was warm, especially under his eyes and around his mouth; his palms felt clammy, making it hard to grasp onto the skin in front of him; and the heat in the flesh of his back and stomach was oppressive.

L was having a difficult time staying still, the tiny shifts and jerks he didn't have control of inciting nerves that had been untouched inside of Raito, but were now over-stimulated from his climax, the sensation almost numbing.

Wrapping his other leg around L's back as a sign to go ahead, he watched L pull back and then push forward. The strain from how Raito had arranged his legs stiffening his hips and making it so L had to push hard to get inside of him.

By the time L was on his second, quickly followed by third, fourth, fifth… Raito lost count – body being roughly jerked by thrusts, L had buried his head in his neck, grabbed onto the leg over his shoulder and practically started whimpering in his ear, a needy sound that jolted Raito harder than the mounting shoves.

Any enjoyment he could garner from this was curbed by his body's languor after release, but the blunt ache that rose up from physical overindulging and the way L was holding onto him, he could not deny the satisfaction. Could not deny the thrill of possessing something that L wanted so badly and then dangling it in front of him, like a piece of sweetened fruit.

There might be no love between them, but the nectar that dripped from the illusion was just as delicious. Even more so than the real thing, he believed. Since the image they had before them was transient, about to disappear, and ready to spirit one of them away.

The last desperate thrusts that pinioned Raito to the bed made him lose his grip on the shoulder over him, his fingers forgetting to be gentle and instantly clawing their way down L's back in one covetous line. L halted. Whatever had set him off not important, as Raito felt the pulse deep inside of him, everything immediately getting sticky and L breathing out his name in final relief.

Those ever-open eyes finally closed.

……………………………………………

They were now sitting in front of surveillance station one; the other investigation team members taking turns watching the second station, while those not on monitor-duty busy doing further research on the Bishop Avice, Father Rene, and his 12-man cult following, as well as picking up the phones for Aiber and Wedy's reports.

In station one there were thirty small screens tuned into the inside of Lourdes' main cathedral and the many additional chapels at the eastern end, Raito and L dividing it among themselves so they had fifteen each.

Aizawa and Matsuda had control over station two, which kept track of the west façade, the east entrances and the grotto; a measly ten cameras in comparison to the monstrous set-up of cables and blinding glare that radiated from station one.

It was almost sickening watching them, both robotically keeping track of the monitors and at the same time making small talk. Aizawa always hated monitor duty for the simple reason that he was overworked and under-rested, so tedious activities tended to make him sleepy.

Pouring another cup of coffee to also fight off the jet lag of their first completed week in France, Aizawa felt his eyes go heavy. However, L suddenly raising his voice startled him awake, the words he shouted both familiar and very…disturbing.

"My only love sprung from my only hate! Too early seen unknown, and known too late!"

"…"

Uhg… why was that weirdo reciting Shakespeare?

"Romeo and Juliet, Act I, Scene V. If you're going to play this game, play it seriously," he heard Raito say.

Apparently the children were keeping busy with other things besides small talk.

"Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind; and therefore is winged Cupid painted blind."

God, this was infinitely worst than that one time they all had to sit through L squawking out every two seconds "Hair. Snack Crumbs. Yagami-san your son is Kira. More hair!"

Aizawa suddenly felt like pitching the entire coffeepot at the detective's head.

"A Midsummer Night's Dreams, Act I, Scene I. Pick something harder," Raito insisted.

"As sweet and musical, as bright Apollo's lute, strung with his hair; And when Love speaks, the voice of all the gods makes heaven drowsy with the harmony."

"Love's Labours Lost, Act IV, Scene III. That's a little better, but not by much. And what's up with your choice of quotes? There are other topics to choose from," Raito criticized.

Aizawa could not help but notice that as well, even if he did not want to. For some reason, he found himself turning in the chief's direction to see his reaction. The man had a peculiar look on his face as he flipped through paperwork, like he did not know what to make of this situation. Aizawa could understand.

Matsuda on the other hand found this hilarious. But he was a dumbass.

Mogi answered the phone for them.

"Good night, good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say good night till it be morrow."

"Romeo and Juliet, Act II, Scene II. And why are we back to them? If this gets any easier, we might as well kill time by playing rock-paper-scissors."

Aizawa got a sudden mental image of those two playing Janken. It was painful.

"My bounty is as boundless as the sea, my love as deep; the more I give to thee, the more I have, for both are infinite."

"Act II, Scene II. Are you stuck on Romeo and Juliet? I won't answer you the next time."

"But I am giving you the secrets to wooing Misa-san. You should take my advice. It is very wise advice, if I do say so myself."

"I don't need advice, Ryuuzaki. She's my girlfriend, not yours."

"Temper, temper Raito-kun. Or I will take her from you and she actually will be."

Aizawa tried to tune those two out, but when they started up with each other, it was like trying to ignore a jackhammer that was right on top of your head.

"If you're not too busy being stupid, could you get on with your next line. It seems like you're stalling," Raito accused. He was stirring his spoon in his coffee as he watched the screens, and somehow making both activities seem below him.

"Do not get certain undergarments in a twist, Raito-kun," L replied.

The chief had unfortunately taken this time to sip out of his coffee mug; but fortunately for him, Matsuda was within his sputtering range.

"Doubt thou the stars are fire; Doubt that the sun doth move; Doubt truth to be a liar; But never doubt I love."

"Hamlet, Act II, Scene II. A step up from Romeo and Juliet. I happen to like that play."

"I am happy to please," L spoke, staring up at the topmost screens with his mouth wide open.

God forbid he could do that with his mouth closed.

"Pure love and suspicion cannot dwell together: at the door where the latter enters, the former makes it exit."

"Alexandre Dumas."

"No need to call people names because you can't remember."

"This is the last time we play this game."

"Do not be like that Raito-kun. Grumpiness is a sign of low calcium. You might want to start drinking more milk, especially since you are young."

"Maybe you need to take your own advice, although it might not help with your problem."

"Meow goes the pussy cat."

"Excuse me?"

Earplugs. Where was Watari with earplugs when you needed him? He brought them ice cream and semi-automatic pistols. Earplugs shouldn't be too hard to find.

"Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies."

"I am not…" grumble "Aristotle …I am not playing anymore. You're a bad loser." Aizawa heard the sound of chair scooting, then he heard the sound of more chair scooting as L was probably not letting Raito get very far.

"I love you, not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you."

"Roy Croft. Your choice of quotes is horribly cliché."

"A kiss is a lovely trick, designed by nature, to stop words when speech becomes superfluous."

"Ingrid Bergman. You are making me angry."

"Heaven has no rage, like love to hatred turned, nor hell a fury, like a woman scorned."

"William Congreve. Shut up. Shut up right now."

"Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people, who are incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate."

"Sigmund Freud, speaking of which, you need the aid of his profession right away."

"The prerequisite for making love is to like someone enormously."

"Hallmark called."

"Yes, what did they say?"

"To stop ripping them off."

"I don't remember that call."

Aizawa felt that familiar vein in his temple and neck throb. This was not good for his blood pressure. This was so not good for his blood pressure.

"Quarrels in France strengthen a love affair, in America they end it."

"I told you I'm not playing anymore."

"I love being married. It's so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life."

"I don't even – who is that?"

"Love's like the measles - all the worse when it comes late in life."

"Are you making them up as you go along now?"

"Love conquers all."

Exasperated sigh. "Virgil -- I give up."

"Raito-kun has said those three special words that I've always longed to hear from him."

Aizawa slowly turned in his swivel chair towards the bickering duo, and L noticed him almost immediately -- the glaring might have helped.

"Would you like to join in, Aizawa-san? I am currently beating Raito-kun by seven million, two hundred, forty-five thousand and six points."

"You made that score up."

"I am estimating."

"Shut up," Aizawa interrupted, as they would continue to bicker forever if someone didn't say something. "Enough with the corny quotes and the arguing and scooting away. Just shut up before I throw both of you in separate corners and make you face the goddamn wall" he threatened seriously, because this was a serious matter of them shutting the hell up and him getting some work done.

He also realized a bit too late that being a father with a little girl at home had made his rant turn out a lot different from how he wanted it to.

"Aizawa-san should take milk with his coffee."

Oh his blood pressure…

A/n: This is a normal day in France for everyone. The second part was fun because deathnote has great secondary characters. I like Aizawa. He's a man devoted to his job and his family. But despite all the seriousness, his anger fits make me laugh. He is also the only person to ever call L corny to his face. Because lets face it, everyone thinks it with those little "..." bubbles. He's just the only one who said it out loud. I salute him.