--The Worm at the Core--

It was simple, really.

Lying on the bed, breath an easy lift and fall that communicated sleep to the untrained eye, but fully functioning under that guise, Raito finished his daily recount of how each side was faring.

He was definitely winning.

His actions in the confessional had cinched it for him.

Raito had never liked to take chances; it was the main reason he was still alive.

But to discourage opportunity when it was knocking on his door -- he certainly did not oppose the occasional risk when he had much to gain, especially at the last stretch of the Yotsuba case, when writing down Higuchi's name had made his heart beat louder than the rotors of the helicopter.

His predictions were always right on the money, and with the perfect amount of caution, chance, and cleverness, he always pulled through on each of his ventures. This time had been no different.

After they had returned to the hotel, as expected L had made a beeline towards the cameras, his eyes darting two screens to the left where the booth was being monitored.

Raito knew L was bound to notice the flaw – if he could see it then it was guaranteed that L would be able too – but no matter how it made him look, L could not prove anything if there was nothing to prove. Raito had done nothing more than talk in that booth. L could not convict him on mere conversation.

There was a chance that L would feel threatened by this gap in his supervision of him, but to call off the entire operation for a mere conjecture -- the Father's deathnote was far too important a piece of evidence for him to do that; there was just no way L was letting it slip through his fingers.

He would continue. As would Raito. After all, they were both risking their lives here. It would not do for one of them to suddenly get cold feet.

Not until one of them was good and dead.

Stretching languidly, Raito shifted amongst the blankets, the clicking of keys on a laptop trailing off and only resuming until he stilled.

It had all gone as planned. The Father had submitted to his will with little, if any resistance at all (not that he was expecting Rene to be adverse to his directions).

Desperate men were known to do desperate things, and with Raito posing as L and slowly, but surely, cajoling Rene's superior into handing over the one thing he coveted the most -- it must have drove him mad. Rene most certainly had his own reasons for wanting to get rid of L.

And in that venture, a joint objective would benefit them the most. Rene would have the freedom of movement that Raito did not, and in turn, he would provide support for getting L out of the way.

Of course, Raito had absolutely no intentions of giving Rene the deathnote. The only thing Rene and his men would receive was the blame for killing L and then the subsequent execution that followed.

After all, Raito had never told him about the cameras in the church.

It was all very easy, really…

On January the first, Father Rene will walk into Lourdes Cathedral with his converts. He will take the deathnote from him, order his men to kill L, and unfortunately for him, all of this will be caught on camera as substantial evidence.

Raito will act out his role as scared and bewildered as possible. He will shed tears for L and make a big scene, and all the while the investigation team having seen L killed will race to the church, misinterpret the entire situation, and believe he's still in danger from a crazy bunch of extremist.

Watari, who will already be at the scene of the crime long before the others, will quickly notice that the doors are locked; he will be alarmed and will take a sniper position from the building opposite them.

He will receive a panicked call from the team that L has been killed by Rene's faction and that Raito is trapped inside with them. There will be the obvious conclusion of a hostage situation, as he is playing the very important role of L. It would be normal to think his captors haven't killed him because they plan to use him to barter their way out -- and in fact, all of this is true to some extent. To Rene's men who do not know his identity, it is the absolute truth, but to Rene, he will know better.

That knowledge was going to cost him his life. Raito did not want to get his hands messy, but the occasion called for it. L had given him a gun, and ironically he would be using that "gift" to get rid of the last piece of evidence that would tie him to the detective's death.

His father might have frowned when he saw him handling the gun, but it would be a completely different story when his life was in actual danger. His father would want him to use it. He would want him safely returned to him.

The plea of self-dense was more than appropriate for such a volatile situation. And since he was going to fire the gun in a very emotion state ("grief-stricken" as he was over L's death), his shot will be horribly off, and instead of shooting to incapacitate, he will "accidentally" kill his aggressor.

With Rene dead and no longer able to talk, his men will turn hostile towards him. However, they will not kill him, as they understand he is their only chance against the French authorities.

They will keep him around.

Too bad for them, their actions will be followed closely by the cameras, giving his father and the rest of the investigation team an exact idea of which part of the church he is being kept in.

The Lourdes Cathedral was a facet of stain-glassed windows, spanning every wall and even the ceiling. If everyone knew his position in the church, Watari would have no problem shooting out some windows and getting a clearer picture of what was going on inside.

Watari will then quickly start to incapacitate the men around him. Raito suspected that Watari was very close to L and he might use this time to get revenge, although, it did not matter if Watari killed or simply handicapped these men. Whatever his methods, Raito was home free. These men knew nothing of his identity. They might have heard that Kira was here, but that could obviously be taken as, in spirit, here -- something that any crazy extremist preached about when they tried to justify an act.

Of course, Raito was disappointed that he could not use the deathnote on L. But killing L by that method at this point was way too risky. This entire plan was an extremely dangerous endeavor. Raito understood all the possibilities of what could go wrong, had studied them for long hours, weighted his options. But to wait for another opportunity in itself was the worse thing he could do. L was going to get that deathnote soon and once he looked inside of it and realized what Raito had done…

It was game over for him.

Time was against him. He needed to act now, even without the aid of the deathnote. In a way, it benefited him more, as using Kira's MO would call immediate suspicion to him. Especially with L in another country, away from Kira's established base of operations.

It was best to kill him and make it look like an accident. And even if Kira did not get the immediate acknowledgment of the kill, the investigation team members would still understand that Kira was the indirect cause of L's death. The men who would take the fall for him would say they were being moved by Kira -- the ideal of Kira was moving people to act for him, and if that did not symbolize his utter victory over L, that he had followers who were willing to do anything for him, for his cause, for his pride, then he had no idea what would.

Letting his body completely relax into the mattress under him, Raito let his thoughts wander…

Unfortunately, the loud voices behind the door pulled him back to the present. Matsuda and Aizawa were carrying on about something -- what it was, he could not care less.

He supposed, since it was Christmas and a week from now L would finally understand Kira's true power, that he had every right to feel self-satisfied.

Rolling over on his side, Raito stretched again, throwing his arm out and encountering the waist of the individual beside him, the laptop upset by that move.

Raito spied under his bangs at the person staring down at him, large eyes trapped by the frame of a pale face and hair that implied right away that he had also just rolled out of bed. Raito tightened his arm around the detective, pulling L towards him and at the same time using his legs as a pillow.

"What time is it?" he asked indolently, letting his hands wander wherever they so please.

"Six," replied L, as he set his laptop on the nightstand.

He didn't seem to be in the mood for conversation -- something that Raito did not question as he stretched out an arm, tentatively weaving his hand around L's neck and tugging him down to his mouth.

L seemed strangely reticent towards his advances, but as his mouth covered his in pliant enthusiasm, not insisting, but only compelling towards slow progression, L seemed to give a little, sliding his hands up and under his shirt, and rubbing him there in a back and forth motion that made Raito open his mouth even more and --

Knock. Knock.

L lifted his head suddenly, Raito also doing the same as his eyes bolted towards the door.

"You guys, there's something you need to see," Matsuda's voice called, the unmistakable early morning cheer making L roll off him.

Meanwhile, Raito had grabbed the clothes folded over the headboard, a quick "we'll be right there" following as he tugged on his jeans and quickly slipped on a clean shirt.

Raito opened the door and was quickly greeted by a smiling Matsuda.

However, once he passed the threshold with L in tow, the man's face suddenly changed into one of those ridiculous, wicked grins that he liked to show off whenever he thought he did something especially clever.

"Haha, you guys got caught by the mistletoe!" Matsuda bellowed, pointing at the inconspicuous green and red plasticized plant hanging over the frame of their door.

There was an irritated growl off in the distance. Raito assumed it was Aizawa.

"And now you have to kiss each other!" Matsuda laughed, like a seven year old who still believed in cooties and hair pulling. The chief and Mogi were not paying attention to the theatrics of the morning, too busy flipping through files to give their younger an audience.

This nonexistent enthusiasm for his joke seemed to trouble Matsuda greatly, even more so than what he was suggesting Raito and L do in front of everyone.

And the way he had gone right for it, Matsuda probably thought they would get embarrassed, and for amusement's sake, make great asses out of themselves.

Raito lowered his head and rolled his eyes. "Ah, I guess Matsuda-san is right – we are in France, after all," he added playfully, as he leaned over and pecked L on the cheek and then the other. On his second kiss, L pecked him back on the cheek closest to him, while greeting, "Merry Christmas, Raito-kun."

"Merry Christmas, Ryuuzaki," Raito responded congenially.

"I like mistletoe," L said, a goofy look on his face as he wondered off to his desk. Yagami-san had actually looked up at that assessment.

"Man you guys are no fun," Matsuda whined. "You can't take a joke."

"No the problem is that they took the joke a little too well," Aizawa muttered, lowering his head in apology when the chief gave him a surprisingly hard stare. He cleared his throat and glanced over at Mogi, the burlier man, even when busily sorting files, also discreetly gazing at the pair walking across to station one.

Aizawa couldn't shake the feeling (he supposed it was his detective's instinct acting up again) but there was something really funny going on between those two. And he didn't mean the 'haha' funny. He meant the 'what the hell is going on?' type of funny.

Ages ago, when Raito had shown up to help with the case, Aizawa, despite the fact that the chief's son was only a boy right out of high school, was happy for the extra pair of hands.

He'd heard good things about Raito from Chief Yagami, and after meeting him, it was apparent that the chief wasn't over-exaggerating because he was the father.

Yagami's son was an upstanding young man, very intelligent and soft-spoken, with a bright future ahead of him. Although, Aizawa could not help but form a dual opinion about Raito, one that spanned far before they met when L had staked out cameras in his room and made Mogi follow him around.

Raito was apparently quite the ladies' man, going out with four different girls at once and juggling them all with studies at To-oh.

Now Aizawa didn't want to judge, as Raito was at that age where guys were known to do stupid things, but seriously… four girls?! That had kind of pissed him off.

He was raised with the belief that you went out with only one girl and tried your damnedess to get her to like you.

Four girls was clearly pushing it, and he wasn't going to sit here and call the chief's son a slut or something… but well… yeah, that was kind of what it looked like to him.

It was hard to investigate someone you had such diverging opinions on, since to him, Raito was a mixture of vastly intelligence, polite, good-natured and… throws himself at anything that moves – considering the object must be a beautiful young woman with class, although even the class thing was up for debate, since Raito was currently going out with Amane.

So yeah…

On many things concerning Raito, he was still confused. And L's presence only added to that confusion. Aizawa might not have been here for the entire case, but now that he was back, he could definitely see the changes between those two.

At the beginning, Raito had been nice to L, with the latter constantly accusing him of being Kira. Then in the middle, things had become hectic and they fought like two seven year olds in a sandbox. And now, sure they fought and argued, but in retrospect, it wasn't as bad as before.

Raito had become awfully sweet on L, while L was still his charming-as-a-cactus self to them, distancing himself away from the rest of the team, but at the same time, taking Raito along with him, like he didn't want any of them to interfere with whatever was going on…

Did he mention the whispering too? As in the blatant whispering thing they did, like they could care less if anyone saw. Oh, and the speaking in French when the rest of them were working… that was a big favorite -- with no one.

«Raito-kun, puisque c'est Noël aujourd'hui j'ai quelque chose pour vous.» (Raito-kun, since today is Christmas, I have something for you.)

«Ryuuzaki... ce n'est pas le temps.» (Ryuuzaki …we don't have time for that.)

«Je sais, mais ce serait inconsidéré de ma part si je ne vous avais rien trouvé, et j'ai mes raisons.» (I know, but it would be thoughtless of me if I didn't get you something, since I have the means to.)

«C'est... gentil, mais je ne crois pas que je pourrai accepter. Je n'ai rien pour toi.» (That's… nice of you, but I don't think I could accept. I didn't get you anything.)

«Comme je l'ai dit, j'ai mes raisons. Nous sommes présentement menotés ensemble, alors il est peu raisonnable de penser ainsi. J'ai aussi acheter des cadeaux pour les autres membres de l'équipe. J'ai demandé à Watari de trouver des présents que les hommes généralement apprécient -- cravates, eau de cologne, boutons de manchettesdes choses de ce genre. Je veux qu'ils sachent que j'ai beaucoup d'estime pour leur travail. Ce n'est que par simple courtoisie.» (As I said before, I have the means to. You are currently handcuffed to me, so it's unreasonable to think that way. I also bought gifts for the other team members, so it's not a big deal. I had Watari pick out things that men generally use – ties, cologne, cufflinks, things of that nature. I want them to know that I appreciate their hard work. This is simply a courtesy of what they've given back to me.)

«C'est quand même très attentionné de ta part.» (It's still very thoughtful of you.)

«Je n'ai pas mis beaucoup d'effort à trouver ces cadeaux. Watari s'en est chargé. Mais je lui ai indiqué ce que je voulais qu'il achète pour vous, alors même si je n'ai pu aller l'acheter moi-même, je veux que vous considérez ce présent comme s'il venait directement de moi.» (I did not put much effort into their gifts. Watari was the one to pick them out. But I told him what to purchase for you, so even if I could not go out and get it myself, I would like to think that it is a direct gift from me to you.)

Raito had braced an elbow on the table, his chin now resting in that hand as he studied L for a second. He smiled at the detective. «Tu es adorable.» (You're very sweet.)

Aizawa watched L scratch behind his head and look down at his feet. He didn't reply, but only sat there, almost like he had no idea what to do.

Aizawa didn't know why, but he suddenly felt very queasy. He turned back towards the screens and hoped the boredom that came along with monitor-duty would override the sudden feelings of weird embarrassment that was churning in his gut.

…………………………………..

"I have a pretty good idea of how much this cost."

The sun was setting, and light was seeping in through the blue curtains of the room and warming up a patch of the comforter on the bed they shared.

Raito held up his present and L responded to the rebuke in his voice.

"Then keep it a secret -- I don't want Raito-kun to know."

"L…" Raito sighed in that way that was becoming as familiar to him as L's voice. "Don't you think this is a bit too much? I really can't accept this."

Raito watched him pass a hand over the square of sunlight on the blanket, letting it warm his fingertips.

"Please don't worry about it. I would just like you to accept and we shall leave it at that."

Raito looked off to the side, away from the small black box lying topside and the silver string that once held everything in place. His fingers were cool as they touched his present, a silver watch, unadorned, but the pieces inside the glass very intricate.

"It's nice. You have good tastes."

Raito took off his old one and carefully rested it on the nightstand while snapping the new one into place on his wrist. "I feel like you're spoiling me," he said with a laugh. "That's why I feel I should refuse. You understand where I'm coming from, don't you?"

L looked over at him. "Somewhat. You're the kind of person that can't take a gift without feeling indebted. I did not really think about how it could insult you… sorry."

L apologizing to him was always something new, but Raito did not dwell too long on it, his body already taking action towards improving the disposition of the room.

Crawling to L's side of the bed, Raito leaned into him and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. "But instead of feeling insulted, I could always make it up to you," Raito whispered, digging his other hand insinuatingly into L's back.

L was looking down between them and not meeting his gaze. Raito took that moment of distraction to drop a kiss on the edge of his jaw. He then playfully nipped at the skin below his ear, and after a few more less than gentle bites, he playfully breathed into the whorled center. "Guess what I sneaked into the room with us?"

Switching over to the other ear, Raito resumed laving attention on that particular part. He latched onto the underside of the lobe, a place where L's hair would easily hide any incriminating marks, and began to suck a bruise into livid color on his skin. He could hear how loud L was breathing, and provoked by that near-pant, he slowly licked his way across his jaw and towards his mouth.

Raito was more than ready to push L down, and so, as impatient for his pleasure as ever, he pressed himself against the detective, his voice already murmuring out the answer to the question he had asked a few breaths ago.

"You like whip-cream, don't you?"

The flinch from the body under him made the bed tremble sharply before going completely still. L had his hands on his shoulders, but instead of pulling him forward, they were gently nudging him away.

Raito watched, suddenly confused as the detective sat up and moved more to his side of the bed.

Did… did he just blow him off?

Frowning, Raito sat up, a question already forming on the tip of his tongue. "What's wrong?" he asked, trying to sound concerned when he was more annoyed with the behavior directed at him.

What the hell had that been about?

L was clearly aroused, if the hardness against his leg had anything to say about it, and the whip-cream idea seemed to get the same reaction out of him, if sharper by the suddenness of that flinch.

L's body seemed to be enjoying what he was doing.

So then why was he pushing him away?

"Sorry, I don't feel too well today…" L had his hands around his legs, his head now resting on the shelf that his knees created and eyes staring down at his toes.

Not feeling well? If it was the problem of getting it up, this situation would have made more sense, but L didn't have any trouble there, so why in the world was he avoiding him?

For the past week and a half this had actually been an off and on thing with them. L would seem fine one minute, and then in the next he would lapse into an uncomfortable silence that both perplexed and annoyed Raito.

Raito was practically throwing himself at L for goodness sake -- a thing that many people would have killed for.

What was his problem?

"Is there anything I could do?" Raito asked and watched L closely.

L shook his head, remaining in his almost curled up state, and behind Raito's currently sympathetic exterior, his scowl deepened. He had actually been looking forward to capping off the day with L giving him some due attention, and to be so abruptly turned away… it thoroughly aggravated him.

Not that he could do anything about that, he thought spitefully, before naturally falling back into his supportive role.

"You should get some sleep then," his brain offered on autopilot, while at the same time furiously turning over things he had done and said over the past twenty-four hours, picking apart any event that would shed light upon L's strange behavior.

Occupied in his own stupor of thought, Raito absently leaned over L's side of the bed and switched off the lamp.

With the immediate absence of illumination, the twilight, radiating from the partitions in the curtains, changed half the room into a dull pinkish-orange color. Everything it touched losing the usual patina it held during day, and growing dim and faded.

There was a moment of utter silence between them, where it almost seemed like dusk, finished snuffing out the light outside, had crept into their room and done the same to the sound. Raito ruffled the blankets, attempting to disturb the quiet that had descended.

L was still sitting there and staring at his feet, face blank, and eyes just as empty.

Raito had an urge to sleep facing away. It was preferred, rather than waking up in the dead of the night and seeing L, wide-awake, and sitting in the same spot he had left him.

Rolling over on his other side, palm pillowing his head, and eyes closing shut, Raito forced himself to sleep. He nodded off for about an hour before the fact that he was such a light sleeper started to work against him, the little shifts on the other side of the bed thrusting him out of slumber and into the surrounding darkness.

As the bed dipped under moving weight, Raito felt a presence right behind him.

Everything went absolutely still before the bed shifted again and a hand slipped into the space of Raito's elbow, wrapping around his waist and surprising him. And despite catching him totally unawares, Raito kept himself in check, slow and even breaths leveling out the sudden spike in pulse.

Another hand was wrapping around him, working in conjunction with the other to pull him back. Raito felt L's forehead touch the space between his shoulders.

This was…

What was this?

Raito shifted, trying to slip free, but L squeezed him tighter.

"I thought you were tired?" Raito said jokingly. He was anything but.

"Please let me sleep this way," L whispered.

Sleep? If L didn't want sex from him… then why was he so close?

They always slept on separate sides of the bed. Sex wasn't going to change their habits and preferences. Established comfort zones being what they were and circulating distrust being at an all time high – what exactly did L think he was doing?

Raito watched the pale arms wrapped securely around his midsection, and from this angle, something seemed almost surreal about them.

Raito tried to overcome the utter bizarreness of this situation and focus on the real problem. L was acting strange, that much he knew, and it had only started happening after they had come back from their last meeting with the Father.

Did he know…? Did he know that his last days were upon him? He must suspect. Or was he simply becoming anxious for that deathnote?

Raito did not care to retie the bonds that were slowing unwinding between them. There simply was no use for it. All he could do now was continue to keep L numb to the fact that everything was slowly crumbling around him…

"L?"

There was no answer, but Raito knew he was awake.

"L?" Raito called again, but with a little more force behind it.

There was still no response.

"What's wrong?" Raito asked, fed-up of the silence.

"What did you want to be when you were a child?"

Raito blinked and immediately wondered what that had to do with anything.

L seemed to take his silence as a request to explain himself. "I was only curious," he said. "You don't have to answer me if you don't want to. I just wanted to know.

It was a strange thing to ask out of the blue like that, but if it would lessen some of L's apprehensions towards him, then Raito would go along.

"Kids are never decisive," Raito started. "I guess at the time I wanted to be anything that interested me for the day."

"Any particulars?"

Raito relaxed and tried not to be so mindful of the body next to him. "I intended to be a police officer since my dad was one, but then my reasons changed since I knew I would be good at it. I've always wanted to help others, after all."

"Was there anything else?" L questioned.

"You might make fun of me," said Raito, as his memory reeled back to years ago, to a time when life had been a single, straight path with no divergences.

"I won't" L said simply.

"I wanted… to be an astronaut once. It was stupid," Raito quickly dismissed. "I was really young and my mom would constantly tell me she'd rather I become that than a cop. At the time, I didn't understand why she said that, but she was always worried for my dad when he started the force and would go out on night patrols." Raito then laughed as something caught his attention. "But if I had become an astronaut like she wanted, I'd still be in danger and I'd never be home."

"And the reason you wanted to be an astronaut?" L inquired, as if seeing the entire reasoning behind a five year old would lead him to understand an eighteen-year old Raito.

"Because one of their job descriptions requires them to float around all day," Raito chuckled. "Does that seem stupid?"

"No," L answered, voice strangely serious for what they were talking about. "It's not stupid. It's not stupid at all."

The hands around him tightened, those arms gradually dragging him back even further into their hold, legs also tangling with his.

When L spoke again, it was barely above a whisper, and with his already raspy and low voice, his words seemed to meld together.

"So what would you like to do now?"

"I thought it was obvious," Raito replied. "I plan to work for the NPA after I finish college."

"Yes, I know," L said.

'Then why'd you ask?' Raito thought, wondering where he was getting at.

There was a lengthy pause before L spoke again. "You're going to work for your father?"

"I plan to."

L paused again. "But would it matter who you worked for? Do you specifically want to work for your father?"

Raito had been staring at the white vase on the nightstand across from him, the lily contained within looking both serene and lonely in its fragile casing. His eyes however darted away from that vigil, pupils now straining against his marginal sight to get a glimpse of L's face and to make certain what his ears could not.

"Does that bother you?"

The reason why Raito felt so strange now wasn't because L was asking him questions. That was normal. It was the manner in which he asked him… almost like he was afraid of something…

"…yes."

"Why?"

Raito's eyes floated back towards the colorless vase, standing there, proud, but pallid and washed-out in comparison to the darkness surrounding it.

L had curled into himself. Raito could feel breath stutter across his nape, and as he closed his eyes, waiting for the eventual answer, a dread like no other seemed to consume him.

He was anxious for what L was about to say, yes, but it also…

"I would like you to work for me."

…scared him.

"But I don't think it would be something you would be interested in," L quickly added, "and I would be fine with that.

Normally, when L spoke, lie and truth were indistinguishable, coming off as the same side of a coin, and creating doubt to surface between them.

Raito narrowed his eyes in the darkness. Right at this moment, however, he could say without a doubt that L was lying right to his face.

"You would? You'd let me go that easily?"

It was important to see L's reaction. It would confirm something that he suspected for some time now. "I will prove my innocence, and when we do catch the real Kira, I'll have to go back to my life and you to yours."

"I've never believed in forever," L stated. "I don't think you ever have either."

Raito kept quiet.

"But memories are nice things to hang onto" L drawled, tone oddly hushed, "so even if we never see each other after this case, I will always look fondly upon the time we had together."

"Sounds like your dumping me," Raito said with a wry twist of the lips so it was heard in his voice.

"I'm not the marrying type," L said, a hint of his dry wit surfacing. "But we were always friends somewhere along the way…"

"Mm," Raito agreed with a half-hearted attempt. He trailed his fingers over the hand over his waist. "I've had friends before… but I don't really know what category you go in," he said, a bit of truth trickling past his lips. "I think… maybe we're best friends now."

"Is that what we've become?" L asked, soft contentment, like that for the death of something miserable, yet nostalgic, emanating from his voice.

"Were we really ever cut out for anything else?"

"No… I suppose you're right." L held him tighter. "I hope that you are very happy throughout your life, Raito Yagami. Even if I am not there to see, I would like for you to remain the way you are…"

L's hands burrowed into his shirt and twisted the fabric a little, one of those hands had also spread over the middle of his chest, a spider-web of fingers strung over the place where existed underneath layers of skin and blood, his heart.

"But if I had the chance…" L breathed against his nape, "…I think I would like to keep you."

Raito closed his eyes, certain now in his answer to the reason why L had been acting so strange for the past week. He let his fingers drift over his own wrist and over the watch there.

The breathing behind him began to even out after some time. Raito continued to toy with his present, his mind blank, except for acknowledging the tireless motions of his fingers over the banded metal.

It really was a nice thing to get him, practical, and at the same time very affectionate.

He would be sure to throw it away after L's death.