All Janets except Carla.
Thanks for your comments so far. Its really encouraging to know someone is enjoying it.
Chapter 7
We were sitting in a car park behind Stephanie Plum's apartment building. Stephanie apparently was having a hair crisis but would be down shortly. I was just finishing telling Lula that I had seen them in action two nights ago.
"That was dumb ass Tommy Riley" she explained examining her manicure. "Do you think this gold colour goes with this outfit? she asked. Obviously Tommy Riley wasn't exciting enough to merit more conversation.
"Sure it goes" I said. "It sets off your hair colour". Her hair looked gold too. I hadn't seen many blond black women but she actually carried it off well.
Lula look up at me and narrowed her heavily made up eyes at me "Are you fucking with me?" she asked.
"No I think you look fantastic" and I really did. I thought Lula was amazing and had taken to her right away. She just didn't give a shit about anything.
She pumped up her gangsta rap and bounced about some to the music. Five minutes later the door behind me opened and Stephanie got in. I turned round to introduce myself and get a look at the infamous bounty hunter. She was slim but had a slight roundness to her face, but it suited her. She was very pretty and had brown curly hair which at this moment was trying to burst out of her baseball cap. She was dressed in jeans and a sweatshirt and cool Doc Marten boots. Maybe they were for the ass kicking bounty hunter part. She carried a big black bag which looked rather heavy. She looked a couple of years older than me so I placed her in early 30s.
"Hi I'm Carla" I said holding out my hand.
"Hey, I'm Steph" she said taking my hand. "I hear you are living at Rangeman. How's that working out?" she asked.
"Its different" I admitted. "It feels a bit intense most of the time, but at least I can see my Aunt".
"Ella is such a sweetie" laughed Steph. "I don't know how she manages it, it can't be very rewarding working for Ranger like she does".
"She seems to love it, she's quite good at mothering. I think she thinks Ranger is in need of some mothering" I laughed.
"There is a lot of things that man needs, and mothering is not the first thing that springs to my mind" Lula said. "You would need to be a whole lotta woman to ever live in the Batcave with Batman". Ain't that right Steph?"
I looked at Steph waiting for an explanation. She wasn't giving one.
"So lets get this party started" Lula announced and she fired up the engine and sped out the car park. "We heading for the shoe sale at Macy's" she shouted over the music to Steph in the back. "You okay with that?"
"That's perfect, I need a new pair of FMP's for a job I'm doing for Ranger tonight". Steph shouted back.
"Is that another one of them distraction jobs you doing then?" shouted Lula looking at Steph in the rear view mirror.
"Yip, some low life at that Ice Blue club needs eradicating. I haven't had all the details yet but thats not unusual. Half the time I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing on these jobs for Rangeman! Lula can you turn that music down I'm going hoarse shouting back here".
Lula turned down the music and my ears popped. That was better. This conversation was getting interesting. It sounded like I could get more of an insight into Rangeman from these girls.
"Do you work for Rangeman a lot then?" I asked. " I'm still not sure what they do there".
"Honey, we don't know what they get up to there, and thats our men that work there, so that say's a lot". Lula said
I knew Lula was engaged to Tank so who was Steph with. I turned to her for an explantion but again she was quite.
"Steph has this thing with Ranger" Lula explained sensing my curiosity.
"I do not have a thing with Ranger" Steph exclaimed from the back. "Its just a working relationship. He's kind of like my mentor" she said looking at me.
"The kind of working relationship that requires lots of kissing, meaningful looks and the occassional boink" smiled Lula as she pulled into the car park of a shopping mall and started looking for a space.
Steph stuck out her tongue to Lula's back and sat back in her seat. This trip was going to be fun.
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Ten minutes later we were seated at a table having cake and coffees. This apparently, was the normal way to start a shopping trip.
"Right girls, bag check" Lula announced as she and Steph dumped their bags on the table. "You too Carla" Lula insisted. "Did anyone hand your anything before you left?"
I shook my head "What we checking for?" I asked.
"GPS or bugging devices" Steph said.
"Excuse me?" I exclaimed.
"Our menfolk have got this nasty little habit of having to know our every move" Lula explained. "They will be even more intrigued today as we have fresh blood with us. There is a chance that they will want to know what we telling you" she said rummaging about her bag.
"What could you be telling me that they would find so interesting? Talk about an invasion of privacy" I stated indignantly.
"Most of the time it's not a problem, especially the GPS part" Steph said with a mouth full of doughnut. "There's been a good few times when I've got myself into a situation where I needed to be rescued and they've known where to find me. But the bugging part is new".
"When did that start?" I asked.
"Around the time Lula got engaged to Tank" Steph smiled. "I think our Tank is a bit nervous that he will suddenly be expected to get married. I think as soon as Lula suggests a date there will suddenly be a coup in some third world country that will need his attention".
"Yeah I did get that he was a bit jittery about wedding bells" I laughed.
"My Tank will be just fine when I name that day. But he'll just have to wait until I lose a few more pounds. He won't have to wait long" Lula said whilst helping herself to her second cake. Steph and I locked eyes and grinned at each other. I think Tank would be safe for now.
"They'll be wanting to know what you think of them all too" Steph added. "I've heard that a couple of them a have soft spot for you".
"Me!" I spluttered into my coffee. "Who? I've only met a few of them".
"Les for a start" Lula said "That man thinks you are the shit".
I wasn't sure if I wanted to be "the shit". But I did feel warm and fuzzy that he might think that.
"And Bobby and Binkie have been heard to make comments on the size of them melons you got packed in there" Lula also added.
"Oh for fucks sake" I shouted. "I haven't even met anyone called Bobby. Ella's living with a bunch of perverts with all their cameras everywhere".
"Ain't that the truth" Lula said "and Bobby is fine, not as fine as my Tank, but fine all the same".
"They wouldn't have cameras in the apartment I'm staying in will they?" I asked worriedly.
"No not in your apartment" Steph said. But they have cameras everywhere apart from the inside of each apartment and the bathrooms downstairs".
"So you are saying that they could have placed a bug on me so they could hear if I was gossiping about them. That's all, not for any matter of security or anything" I exclaimed.
"Nope" Steph and Lula said in unison.
I picked up my bag and shouted into it "I think Les is so hot, I want him to fuck me senseless in the steam room".
Steph and Lula both looked at me with such shocked expressions I just had to laugh, even though I was getting a bit embarrassed by the looks I was getting from our fellow diners.
"Jesus fuck you got some balls girl" Lula laughed. "You better empty that bag and pray there ain't no bugs in there".
We got to work looking for anything unusual and I started to get worried we did actually find something. Maybe we should have had this conversation after looking for these gadgets. Two minutes later we sat looking at a pen and lipstick on the table. The pen had come out of Steph's bag and the lipstick from Lula's. I hadn't found anything in my bag.
"Both GPS devices" Steph decided after examining them. Thank fuck for that. I had a feeling Lester would probably take me for my word.
I was relieved not to have found any bugging devices but suddently had a thought.
"Would they not have have to be quite close by to hear anything if they had planted a bug" I asked.
"Oh there will a Rangeman or two somewhere in this mall" Lula said. A shopping trip with the girls would be too much for them to miss!"
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An hour later we were standing in the shoe department of Macy's. Steph was trying on a fantastic pair of FMPs and Lula was trying on a pair of knee high leopard print boots. I had brought quite a few items of footwear over with me in my luggage but decided I wanted a pair of Doc Martens similar to Stephs. I myself may need to kick some ass when I got back to Rangeman.
"Does Officer Hottie know you're doing this job for Ranger tonight" Lula asked Steph.
"Nope, and he doesn't need to know either, you know he would just go off on one if he did" Steph replied.
"Who's Officer Hottie?" I asked.
"Steph's on again off again boyfriend Joe" Lula answered. "He has one of the finest asses in Trenton PD" Lula added.
"Yeah well he is being one of Trenton's biggest asses too" Steph said. "He doesn't really approve of my relationship with Ranger" she said to me.
"Well you can kind of understand that if you have the kind of touchy feely boinking kind of relationship Lula says you have with Ranger" I said cautiously.
"I know but sometimes he just has to give me some space, both of them do" she said quietly more to herself than anyone else.
"Sounds like you have feelings for both men" I said gently.
She looked thoughtful for a few seconds and looked at me sadly "I do, you wait all your life for the perfect man, but what do you do when you find two?" she asked me quietly.
I couldn't really answer that one. I thought I had my one, perfect man and I couldn't have been more wrong. I looked at Steph and suddenly felt this overwhelming feeling to give her a hug. She looked so vulnerable and confused.
The moment was interrupted by Lula who had decided it was time for lunch. We paid for our shoes and headed out the store.
"Oh we have one more stop to make" Lula said "I need to get something nice for my Tankie from Victoria's Secret's" she said leading the way.
"I could do with a new bra for my dress tonight" Steph said as we struggled to keep up.
"Won't it be a bit embarrassing if any of Ranger's men see us in there?" I asked.
"Don't worry" Steph said. "We haven't managed to get any of the Merry Men to accompany us in there. The all have a deep seated fear of Victoria's Secrets" she laughed.
"Who's the Merry Men?" I asked as we walked into the lingerie store.
"Rangeman" Lula answered. "Its just our little pet name for all of Ranger's men. The name suits them well don't you think?"
I thought of all the male broodiness and skulking I had encountered so far and thought that it did indeed suit them.
"So these big scary men are all too scared of an underwear store" I laughed.
"Fuckin A" shouted Lula. "I haven't managed to get my Tankie in here, and Steph as failed with all of them so far, although I think's she's a little scared to try with Ranger. I think he might just call her bluff" She picked up a thong about three sizes to small. "Even Officer Hottie won't come in here with her" she raked for the matching bra in her size. "So if there is any Merry Men around, they will be keeping a safe distance".
We paid for our purchases and heading back out towards the exit through the make up and perfume counters. Suddenly a very tanned, very blond, huge chested girl jumped out in front of us.
"Would you like to try some of this new perfume we have on sale today" she said not waiting for an answer and spraying us all until we choked "Its infused with pheromones to drive your man wild" she giggled.
"Hell yeah we'll take four bottles of . . . .Ravishing" Lula said checking the name on the label and raking out her purse.
"Four bottles?" I asked.
"One for all of us and one for Connie back at the office" Steph explained getting her credit card out.
"She's not had a man to drive crazy for a long time" Lula said. "She could maybe put some of them pheromone things to some good use".
We finally got back to the car and put our bags in the boot of the Firebird. We got ourselves settled and headed for some place called Cluck in a Bucket for lunch.
"I've just thought of a challenge for our pale ass girl in the back" Lula said to Steph who was sitting up front beside her.
"What would that be then?" Steph asked.
"Carla here needs to get a Merry Man to go to Victoria Secret's with her, and we want evidence of the deed". Lula said looking at me in the rear view mirror with mischevious glint in her eye.
"Oh Lula that's impossible, how will she manage to do something we haven't managed, she's only been here five minutes" Steph laughed.
"What do you think Carla, you up to the challenge?" Lula shouted over her shoulder.
"Hell yeah" I shouted back "Us Scots never back down from a challenge".
"That's it then. You have until the end of next week" Lula said pumping the stereo system up.
Of fuck. How the hell was I going to get a Merry Man to go shopping with me!