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Disclaimer: Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing and in no way am I profiting from this depiction of the Gundam Wing characters.
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Chapter Two:
Heero strummed the guitar lying across his lap. The Americas had always fascinated him and he found himself inside of a large city on the mainland of the west coast. Heero had long forgotten the name of this city. It was gigantic, much larger than it had been all those years ago when it was first formed. In fact, sitting inside of this lonely bar on stage, one could lose track of the hundreds of miles of sand surrounding the place.
Sin City, a distant thought gathered in Heero's mind before he dismissed it. Finally, his fingers found their tune. Their melody was deep and lost amidst the pain and sorrow he felt for his past and for his inability to move on with Relena or otherwise. Words bubbled up from the depths of where Heero assumed his soul was hiding. Perhaps in the midst of these feelings, there was a decision to be made. The accompanying saxophone player, Wen, caught on to Heero's sorrowful, soulful rhythm and joined him on his journey into hell. Heero closed his eyes, his heart calling out to her, to Relena. The scenery from hell was much akin to Dante's description. There were indeed levels to Heero's hell. There was the slow burning that consumed him, he could feel his vocal cords simmering as he descended.
The first level, the entrance to hell was bearable. Heero dwelled there day in and day out. Life was misery, dull, dark and gray. On days like today, Heero liked to travel farther and he enjoyed it further when he was able to pull others down with him on his journey. He couldn't and wouldn't allow them to live with him there, but that didn't mean that he could not share what he felt through his music.
The second level was a step further down into the pits with demons. Old memories clung to him like a five o'clock shadow on his jaw. They were inevitable; things he could no longer let go of. There was nothing to heal from. A festering wound that would not close, but lie in wait from him to remember that it was there. Entering at anytime of the day sent shivers down Heero's spine. It caused him to quake to the center of his being. There were times when Heero sat on the stage that he could see him in the audience, the old worn face and the experienced eyes of a battle torn soldier. The melody began to loom near the edge.
Heero tumbled over and dove into his third level of hell. The space was becoming smaller. His hands initiated the heavy depressed atmosphere that surrounded him on a constant basis. A boy met him there. He was small, six or seven. His hair was a messy dark brown and as he guided Heero forward, a soul searching note could be heard. Looking up, Heero wondered who's voice that was. It was ragged and sad and brash and brave.
The boy's hands were rough and hardened by man's work instead of softened by child's play. Light guided them, almost as if they had entered a pseudo heaven. The beat became lighter. It was Heero's fourth level of hell. His past hopes resided here. The man-child stood his ground and was tapping his feet to the livelihood of this place. Gone were the shadows. The memories of the past were not permitted here. Heero spun around in this place and wondered why this place was a part of his hell.
The boy paused in his tapping and became stoic, suddenly standing erect. There standing, blocking the entrance to his crystallized hopes and dreams was Doctor J. His eyes were jaded by the apparatus he wore over them. With his eyes hidden from sight, Heero could not tell what the man was thinking and again his rhythm plunged into the depression that plagued him through the fifth level of his personal hell.
There was nothing there, no light, not even from the flames that licked ever closer at Heero's heels. The space was truly becoming smaller. In the darkness, Heero could make out glowing green eyes. An inexpressible sadness swept through him and again Heero was bathed in that strong soulful expression. The honesty of that voice led him as a strong current away from the green eyes and cold calculations of statistical battle outcomes that covered the walls in an eerie green glow.
The current carried him along until Heero was lost amongst buildings, tall dark and gray. The colors benefited and reflected his mood as he moved closer to his target. The space was no smaller than the fifth level. Six was not a lucky number for Heero. He did not believe that the number was unlucky in itself it was just another number. The buildings held no pain for Heero in and of themselves, but people milled about him. It was as if he were invisible. The people were unaware of his presence until the sky opened up and rained bullets on them. Civilians, Heero realized as he watch in subtle horror as men and women and children were hit. Blood flowed like a river covering the street surrounding him. The blood stuck to his shoes and Heero was sure that the blood would never be removed from him. He was dirty and he would always remain that way. Relena would never want him. Who would want a bloody murderer for a lover?
The trail of blood led Heero to his seventh level of hell. Lapsing into silence, not even the faint echoing of breathing disgruntled the dead silence. In the distance, above him, Heero was conscious of his inability to move and the reality that his fingers had given up. Wen was doing just as he always did; he followed his intuition and filled the silence. The silence was not what quieted Heero, the smell was the culprit. This level was truly smaller than the others previously traversed. Heero could see a bunk not too far from where he stood, the only light drifted in almost innocently from a small square window. It was enough for Heero to see the dead man and his face. The stench of death hung in the air and Heero stood just a few feet away, alive. Being in the same room as death and not having the ability to escape stripped Heero of his courage, his tenacity to live.
Feeling a gentle push from behind, Heero didn't turn around to know that he was encouraging himself. He walked towards the light, he could journey no further. The other levels could wait until his permanent descent into hell. He had time before he would be coasting down further, beyond his fears of mortality, into the realm of no return.
Ascending, the emotions of misery and emptiness towards heaven, Heero saw in the smoky crowd four familiar figures. Anxiety settled in his belly, he was sure that none of it showed on his face. In the furthest corner of Big Marie's there were three other figures none would meet his wondering eyes as he concluded his gut wrenching performance.
Rising, Heero nodded to Wen. His regular crowd of growing followers and admires of his sorrowful folklore and bashful, whimsical raspy enchantment applauded him. Holding his guitar by the neck, Heero gave on sharp, distinguished nod and left the stage. Everyone was accustomed to his performances ending as abruptly as they had begun. Some nights he was like lava freshly released on an unknowing island, he dove in and didn't stop spreading until he reached his limit, the ocean that barred him from consuming more land than he could. On other nights, Heero performed with intermissions and about three or four sets that ended early. Some days, his misery and indecisiveness led him to drink himself to oblivion. Nights like tonight, did not warrant visitors.
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Heero purposely avoided the haunts of his former colleagues and he eyed them warily. Perhaps he would be able ignore them without much incident. Heading over to Big Marie's flirtatious male bartender, Heero ordered a drink to lessen the aggravation he felt at his past sitting at the bar he periodically took residence in from time to time.
"What'll it be?" Heero shrugged not meeting his eyes. Heero had learned on the first night here that meeting that man's eyes, no matter how hard the glare, resulted in a constant flow of free drinks and fiery comments. Most of those comments questioned Heero's sexuality, availability and position in the bedroom. Heero declined to answer and took the drink the man prepared for him. If Heero had still carried a gun on his person, he would have warned the man long ago. Although, Heero was distinctly sure that he wouldn't have gotten the message even then.
Lifting the glass off of the imprinted Big Marie's coaster, Heero ignored the man's suggestive murmurings. The only reason Heero refused to turn away or brush the bartender off was the slow almost hesitant approach of his fellow Gundam pilots. Standing, Heero announced softly, sure that they could hear him that he was taking the drink to his room. A your-loss shrug from the bartender and Heero headed out of the bar with his guitar, drink and audience in tow.
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Hilde scratched her arm. The singing had been great, she wasn't so sure that she needed to witness them trying to entrap Heero into their scheme. Shifting from one foot to the other, Hilde unwittingly met the deep blue eyes of the previous Gundam pilot zero one. Heero had sunk down into a comfy worn leather armchair. The other seats in the room were non-existent. Hilde supposed from the lack of welcoming furniture that Heero was not very fond of company. Swallowing hard, Hilde tried to look away, but his eyes seemed to follow her no matter where she tried to escape.
The back of a black shirt suddenly sheltered Hilde from Heero's searching and hardened gaze.
"What the hell do you want?" Heero's voice was harsh and unrelenting.
"I could ask you the same thing," Duo remarked smartly. Hilde almost wanted to push Duo out of her line of vision so that she could see Heero. Almost.
"Heero," Une spoke quietly, reassurance laced in her tone, "we've come to ask a favor of you. After Colony two zero one, this New Year, Relena will be presenting the results of the Terra Formation Project. I am sure that you are aware of the circumstances. Relena requested you to be her-"
"I am not and will not be assigned as her bodyguard. You do realize that I do not work for the Earth Sphere Unified Nation and I do not work for you or for Relena." Heero paused and Hilde edged further into his vision. He was silently starring at his drink, his eyes narrowed, and an amused glint lingering in their depths.
Sighing, Heero set his drink on the floor beside his chair, "There are four former Gundam pilots in this room and four former OZ officers. I suggest that you decide amongst yourselves."
Hilde stood her ground as Heero's eyes found hers once again.
"Heero, why are you being like this? We all know that your hiding," Quatre stepped forward as Une stepped back. Noin and Milliardo were standing against a bare white wall just behind Une. The other former Gundam pilots were nearest to Hilde and Duo. Trowa and Quatre were to her immediate right and Duo and Wufei were to her left. Sally was standing with her back to the main entrance to Heero's flat. Everything about it was clinical. There were no colors or pictures. Nothing to remind Heero of his past or maybe Hilde pondered this style of living did remind Heero of his past.
"Leave it to Quatre to point out the obvious. I am not hiding or you wouldn't have been able to follow me or find me. I am not running, I am waiting."
Tuning back into the conversation between Quatre and Heero, Hilde responded to Heero's retort, "You love her don't you?"
"What business is it of yours? Hilde Schbeiker are you judging me?"
Hilde balked at the notion, "Judging is implemented by those who are insecure." Hilde wove around Duo and walked to left side of Heero's chair before attempting to take his hand, "Relena misses you. And she did not request you to be her bodyguard. She wanted you to be her date." Releasing his surprisingly warm hand, Hilde stood in his line of vision. He didn't try to evade her eyes.
He nodded twice before rising. Hilde moved back and bumped into Quatre. Murmuring her apologies, Hilde's eyes followed Heero as he rose, his drink swishing in his large, adept hand.
"You may see yourselves out." Heero didn't turn around as he set his drink on the adjacent kitchen counter that protruded into the receiving area where Hilde stood with her onetime allies. He continued on his way down the small hall leading away from them.
"Where are you going? Heero?" Duo called out to him, maintaining his position against the wall. Hilde moved forward as if to follow, but was held back by Quatre. She could see the blond haired man shaking his head in her peripheral vision.
Heero did not return but replied loud enough for them to hear him as a door opened squeakily, "I'm pretty sure there's a sedative in my drink. This isn't the first time he's done that. I figure if I leave early enough or late enough he'll leave me alone. I guess tonight he surprised me."
"Sedative?" Trowa's soft voice met Hilde's ear.
"Liar, you just don't want to face the truth. We're here Heero and were not going to leave you alone until you at least bury the hatchet with Relena. You have to tell her something."
"Make sure to lock the door on the way out, I would rather not wake up to any surprises." Hilde distinctly heard the bedroom door shut.
"Well, we tried, or at least some of us did," Duo declared boldly in an exasperated voice.
"If only Relena had seen that performance, I don't think that recording does him justice," Wufei expressed aloud to no one in particular.
Sally shrugged and walked over to the counter, she picked up the glass the bartender had given to Heero and examined it with her eyes. "There is definitely some residue of something in there. Just barely noticeable." Sally turned with the glass in hand and motioned for Une, together they said their departing farewells and left.
"Well, I guess that's all we can do for now. I've already sent him the information he needs. We should go," Quatre resigned. Nudging Trowa, Quatre led the way out.
"Noin, are you staying?" Hilde asked quietly, her eyes following the woman's gaze to Heero's bedroom door.
"No, I'm not." Noin turned and retreated after Milliardo. For the first time, Hilde noticed that they were holding hands.
Wufei looked curtly at Hilde and Duo before departing. When Hilde and Duo were the only ones left in Heero's apartment, Hilde found herself reclining in the chair Heero had vacated.
"Comfy?" Duo asked, his eyes darting towards Heero's refuge.
Hilde nodded her response and turned to gaze at Heero's bedroom door. She had a perfect view of it and the sole exit.
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Heero lay back on his pillow, fighting the drowsiness trying to claim him. Wen was clever. Heero had not expected nor had he seen Hilde in the audience. His sensitive hearing tracked the movements of his unwanted guests. He had agreed to go and be Relena's escort. He was not ready to reveal how he felt because he was sure that in some way he would be unable to satisfy her.
Groaning in order to arouse his senses, Heero listened to the others retreat. He was sure that only Duo and Hilde were left. Duo had had an intense look in his eyes. Hilde wore her emotions on her sleeve. Heero was sure that if those two weren't married with children within the next three years then the world really was going to end.
Closing his eyes, Heero basked in the realm he often found himself residing in when his mind wouldn't shut down and his body was dead tired. Limbo, he believed it was called. Heero kept still even when two unwanted comrades wandered into his lair.
"You're not sleep," Duo said acknowledging the obvious.
"Duo?" Hilde's voice sounded very hesitant. She acted as if she'd never seen a man sleeping in his clothes, on his bed, in his room with two unwanted guests standing over him.
"What do you want?" Heero asked not directing the question to either of them specifically.
Heero felt the bed dip, "Heero, you do love her don't you?"
The eager gentleness in that voice almost led Heero into answering.
"You don't want to be here all alone do you? Come back with us," Duo offered. His voice was strong and full of the boldness of youth.
"I'm not alone," Heero pointed out as he fought to maintain his consciousness. The last thing he needed was for Duo to take him to his home in the colonies without his consent. He had things to settle here before he left. Wen sure could be an ass at times.
"Well, yeah, you're not alone right now, but you will be when Hilde and I leave. You should come with us or you could stay with Trowa or Quatre or Wufei. Any of us would take you in Heero. We just can't stand to see you here moping around." Duo sighed dramatically as he claimed a seat next to his would-be girlfriend. The bed dipped once more before Heero responded.
"I'll be fine, someone will come and check on me soon enough. The bar is going to be closing up for the night. You should leave, before you see something you regret."
"Well, doesn't that sound like the Heero I used to fight with!" Duo exclaimed humorously.
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Trowa stood amongst the other former Gundam pilots. They were situated right outside the bar, Big Marie's, waiting for Duo and Hilde to emerge from its depths. Noin, Milliardo and Une had already left for their perspective dwellings.
"I can't believe him! Tossing me out like that! Did you see that Hilde, he didn't even open his eyes, the audacity!"
Trowa closed his eyes and repressed the urge to smirk. He could hear Duo complaining and had yet to see him. Heero must have really been annoyed or he really had something to hide.
Pushing his way through the double glass doors, Duo stumbled through with Hilde in tow.
"Did you-"
"Come on Duo, you're wasting everyone's time. What did he say to you?" Wufei interrupted.
Sally was smiling up at him. Wufei was now over five feet and nine inches. Of all the former Gundam pilots, Trowa was still the tallest. With Duo and Heero and Quatre following. Despite his growth, Wufei was still about the same height as Quatre. At the thought of Quatre, Trowa chanced a peak at the blond haired man. Trowa liked his men short, at least shorter than himself.
The sound of a clearing throat brought Trowa out of his thoughts. Duo was rubbing his chest, ignoring Wufei's question. "Man that hurt. He said that he was coming and to get out," Duo blinked furiously as he waved a hand in front of his eyes.
"I'm sure that your eyes are fine," Hilde said pulling the hand that Duo had been waving in front of her face into her own.
Turning around, Trowa began walking down the street. He could feel the presence of the others as they followed them. Their mission had begun.
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R&R
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