Phase Two – Love At First Touch
When have I fallen for Alice Cullen? That was the only question that been running out and in of my mind. Alice was lost in her own little world beside me as she hummed to herself, while I was sitting there thinking back on the day that I first met her, on the day I first saw her and the rest of the Cullen kids. Of course the first thing that I had noticed about them were their unbelievably, breathtakingly, inhumane beauty. It was quite to figure out who was more beautiful than the other, but I had settled down to Rosalie and Edward, whom were now my sister-in-law and my husband. Beloved husband? Perhaps it was years ago when I felt that way. I couldn't live without him, and to be honest I still can't.
I remember sitting with Jessica and the other kids while looking at the perfected family. They weren't eating much, not that I would have noticed anyway when they were sitting there, looking all perfect and beautiful. I was curious about them and so I asked Jessica about them, her answers were enthusiastic but I didn't pay no mind to it. Edward was the first one that I've found myself drawn to. Then it was this whole thing about complication, and irritation, then it became love and longing for each other company. I was smitten by him to say the least, but then when his sister – Alice – came over to take him out on a hunt, so he could be with me the next day, I can't say that I was happy to hear her voice, since her tone was melodious just like Edward's. Alice was friendly, as I was expected of her to be when Edward mentioned her being very supportive, but I didn't start to have any of these feelings for her then. I guess it was love of first sight more to Edward than Alice.
It was that day when Edward started telling me about his family. It was at that day that I found myself wanting to be around Alice. To know her more, not because of her path even though I sympathized it, but it was because I needed to be around her and see for myself if she was hiding her true, depressive self and put a cheerful, happy mask on so other could see that she was actually that energetic and happy. And when he brought me to their house to meet them, no one would be careless enough to gracefully come up to me and place a kiss on my cheek. It took all of Edward to control himself back then, but Alice was out of the question. We all looked at her in shock then, but somehow I didn't mind. And somehow I felt something sparked inside of me but I compressed the feeling then, only because it was irrelevant to me.
It was the time of the hunt that my feelings for Alice started to develop I guess. Edward was trying to protect me, and I felt as if he wasn't even giving me any credit for my bravery, not to mention that he barely even listened to me or give any consideration in my plan that Emmett commented it was good. He didn't even listen to me when Alice was right there beside him, supporting me as she told him to pull over and think things through. Emmett and Alice didn't seem to hesitate to support my plan, while it took Edward quite a while to do so. In the end, everything was working according to mine and his plans, and I was off to Phoenix where my betrayal laid. Alice had been the one looking after me then, which was true since Edward wasn't there. There was one thing that I was still a little curious about, the decision that I have made to go and meet James, she ought to see that coming, right? But she acted like she didn't, and I wondered why. However, the meeting with James got me to learn about Alice's past, even if only a little. She was in an asylum, and she was saved by an old vampire and I thanked him for that. If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't have met Alice and have fallen deeply in love with her.
That first experience of near death danger was nothing that I've felt before, but in truth I wasn't afraid of death, not when I can die in place of the one that I loved. My feelings for Alice didn't grow, or I thought it didn't, as time flew by. Then there was my 18th Birthday, and Edward leaving me with a devastating goodbye. His whole family had to move with him, including Alice and I was completely crushed. I became an adrenaline junkie, only because I wanted to see his face and hear his voice again, and again. I had to thank for my stupid brain for making me think I had to push myself a little farther. I jumped, into the raging ocean. Alice thought I was dead and came to check on me. The look on her face then when I came home, still in one piece more or less, was indescribable. I'd never thought she'd be there, of all the people, just to check on me. That was when I gave into my newfound love for Alice and kept it quiet until now. However, my feelings for her didn't grow quite as strong as my feelings for Edward, until when I've became a vampire, one of the monsters, and that she had to leave with Jasper without giving us much explanation when the Volturi came. Each second when she wasn't here with me, I longed to hear her beautiful, sweetest voice. I longed for her company. Icraved for her touch, even though those were only friendly hugs and kisses. It was then that I realized I've fallen so hard, and deeply, in love with her. I was glad that Edward couldn't read my mind, and I was glad that Jasper wasn't there to feel the longing, desperation, pain emotions rushing through me.
It had been two years that I've kept my feelings to myself, and it was hard to do so around Jasper. But there was something that I've noticed from Alice, something that I haven't noticed before. She didn't hug or kiss me as often now, not even when we were alone. She'd only smile in reassurance when I was worrying about something, but she didn't touch me, much less holding my hand in comfort. This scared me, it scared the shit out of me. I wonder if she figured out that I love her. I wonder if she was keeping a safe distance between us, so that I wouldn't do anything in the presence of Edward. I wonder if she was trying not to avoid me altogether, since she was not doing anything of that now.
I glanced over at her, and saw her beautiful honey golden eyes staring back at me. Was she trying to figure out what I was thinking? I bit down on my bottom lip lightly as I quickly turned away from her, flustered. I heard her giggle and I bet she might of thought that I was blushing, if I was still a human I probably would.