Presea paced the bedroom restlessly, pausing occasionally only to lie on the soft, comfortable bed and attempt sleep. The Flanoir inn had seemed quiet all evening and, into nightfall, the grounds around the establishment had taken on a haunting, almost lonely, quality. The absence of half of her group, who was escorting a doctor to Altessa's house in an effort to save the old Dwarf, didn't help matters.
Altessa. Presea sat on the bed, thinking about the injured man. Was he going to survive, or would the doctor get there too late? Would he even be able to do anything for the Dwarf if he did get there in time? Should she even be concerned? After all, she hadn't forgiven him for what he had done, and yet…
Her fractured thoughts trailed off as the wind picked up outside, landing blows on the resolute window. Looking across through it outside, Presea noticed something falling from the sky. Small flakes of snow that danced on the breeze in their descent. The small girl walked slowly up to the window, placing a hand on the cool glass and staring in awe at the sight. She had never seen snow fall before, only the results of it coating the ground. She had a sudden feeling, a feral urge to go outside to watch the snow come to earth. To feel each flake as it fell.
Throwing her travelling clothes on in an uncharacteristically hasty manner, Presea grabbed the winter coat she had bought earlier in the town and, wrapping it tight around herself, darted from her room into the hallway of the inn. She had thought twice about equipping her gauntlets to protect her from the cold, but decided against it. She wanted to feel the snowflakes on her skin.
In the hallway she paused, staring up the corridor to the door at the end. Lloyd would be in his room, most probably, unless he had already gone outside too. Presea moved towards the stairs leading down to the foyer, then paused, looking back at the door. Alone, watching the snowflakes fall suddenly seemed like a lonely prospect.
Alone. I…I don't want to be alone tonight, she thought, biting her lip as she stared at Lloyd's door.
Reasons seemed to be flying through her head: on why she should inquire if Lloyd would like to see the snow, or reasons why it would be a waste of time to ask. She felt flustered, not at the prospect, but at her own reasoning. I am being absurd, she told herself. If this were any of my other companions I would not be so indecisive. And anyway, why did I presume to ask Lloyd?
Presea perched herself on the top step, watching lamp lights flicker in the brackets, leading the way downstairs. The sounds of a fireplace and scents of late night food preparation came lazily upstairs as she tried to work out what to do. I am being unusually hesitant, she admonished herself as she watched the shadows downstairs flicker and enlarge. Someone must be preparing to retire for the night, thought Presea, and the aspect of people ascending the stairs motivated her somewhat. Getting to her feet, she made the decision to at least ask.
Standing in front of Lloyd's door, her hand closed into a fist ready to knock, Presea found herself taking a deep breath. Here I go, she thought.
The thump-thump sounded distant for some reason, as if she was an observer, watching somebody else far away knocking instead. She felt that giddiness again, like that night when Lloyd, Colette, Genis and herself had the snowball fight. Like nervousness.
The silence remained on the other side of the door for a moment, before a voice called, "Who is it? Come on in."
Presea paused for a second, her hand on the door handle, before opening it with more resolve than she felt. Entering the room, she saw Lloyd leaning by a window, peering out at the lamp-lit town beyond. He looked round as she stood, awkwardly, in the doorway.
Presea managed a small smile. "It is me."
Lloyd returned the smile with genuine warmth as he walked over and sat on the untouched bed. "This is unusual. What's up?"
"I was…um…I," Her tongue seemed to be working faster than her brain. Presea stared down at her feet briefly to shut herself up. What is wrong with me? She thought, looking back up at Lloyd. "Um…would you like to go see the snow?"
Lloyd leapt off the bed with a joyful laugh. "Sure. I was thinking about taking a walk. Some sights are better shared, right?"
Presea nodded, feeling – among other things – relief. "Agreed."
The chill night air greeted Lloyd and Presea as they departed from the shelter of the inn into the wide street outside, the wind whipping at their clothes. Still, Flanoir seemed pretty busy given the hour; it seemed that even at night there were still market stalls open and shops with lights in the windows. Tourists and citizens alike were going about their business; all seemingly unaware or apathetic to both the night sky decked in its dark blue elegance and the deteriorating weather. The light shower of snow that had roused Presea's curiosity had now increased into a heavy constant downfall, which began to stick to the ground and build up in layers.
"Wow!" Lloyd exclaimed, looking around in delight. "I've never seen this much snow before."
Presea glanced from the snow-coated rooftops opposite to up at the night sky. She was amazed to find that no matter how hard she concentrated she couldn't see the falling flakes until they were practically on top of her. It was like they fell from the moon and stars themselves. They are beautiful, she thought, glad now that she was sharing the experience. She looked over at Lloyd. "I have…hardly ever seen snow, so…it feels strange."
Lloyd stopped mid-step, near one of the benches fronting the tree line bordering the inn, and gazed down at his companion. "Really?"
Presea didn't say anything for a second, but must've looked downhearted, as Lloyd smiled reassuringly and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Well…you could've fooled me – you looked a pro during that snowball fight the other day."
She stared at the ground to hide the rising blush. Her whole body was warm from on account of the winter coat she wore, but her shoulder where Lloyd had placed his hand practically burned.
"No…not really," she replied. "My memories from the time when my soul was missing are...not very clear. And, also, I've never been anywhere besides Ozette and Meltokio."
Lloyd brushed a layer of snow from the bench. "…I see," he said after a moments thought. "I understand. I'm the same way. Before all this happened. I'd hardly ever left Iselia."
The small girl looked at the snow-glazed branches of the conifers standing like imposing guards on either side of the bench and nodded, a warm sensation flowing through her despite the chilly northern wind. He understands, she thought. He's the same way…
"Hey Presea," Lloyd's voice interrupted her thoughts as he sat down on the bench. "Come take a seat. The trees seem to be sheltering the bench from the wind."
"Yes, that would be sensible." Presea approached the secluded bench and dropped down onto it, wondering why she made such an effort to keep a respectful distance from Lloyd.
The pair sat silently watching the lights in the buildings opposite flicker on and off and the whisper of the wind in the trees behind them drowning out distant conversations. The snow was still cascading down, making visible the currents of wind in the air as they swirled to the ground. Presea reached forward with her hand, and let a snowflake fall onto her palm.
"Snow melts away so quickly," she said, almost to herself, as she watched it.
"Yeah," agreed Lloyd, turning his attention to the dissolving snowflake in her hand. "It's…um, basically just ice."
Presea looked across at her companion. "I always thought of it as something that remained for a long, long time. But instead, it is fleeting." It's beautiful too, she thought, after a moments thought. Why do I always find the negative side to everything?
Lloyd met her gaze. "Yeah. When you talk about it that way, it's kind of sad."
Presea felt something trickle from her palm and looked down to see the remains of the snowflake drip down onto the ground.
"But that's the way things are," she said. "Trees, grass, and flowers all eventually wilt away. People are no different."
Lloyd looked down at the trail of his footprints leading to the bench. Already the snow was covering them up, the wind distributing fresh flakes across the ground.
"All life eventually dies. And so snow disappears as well." He said quietly, then sighed. "Pretty depressing when you consider it, huh?"
Presea felt her cheeks heat up, but the sensation was different this time. Before, it was when she had been complimented, or felt…embarrassed, was it? This time though, it felt like shame. This was not what Lloyd probably had in mind when he agreed to come look at the snow.
"I am sorry," she said, leaning forward to stare at the ground. "I did not mean to lower the mood."
"Hey, don't worry about it." Lloyd shifted position on the bench so he was facing the small girl. "It's good to talk about things if they're bothering you, right?"
"You are right." Presea agreed. "I…there is something I have found myself thinking about. Talking with you about the snow has…reminded me of it. Altessa, he…he will not disappear yet…right?"
Lloyd made a sound in his throat, "Presea…"
It sounded as though he was going to give some words of comfort. Presea sped up her speech, desperate to pour forth all her worries before he could intervene.
"I...I still haven't forgiven him. And yet, if he were to pass away, I..."
"It'll turn out okay," Lloyd's voice was full of gentle confidence as he interrupted. It almost sounded offhand, as if he wasn't being all that serious about it. Presea looked up sharply, feeling her frustration spill into anger. She was confused, if it was anyone else but Lloyd…But Lloyd.
"That is not absolute," she snapped. "I wish you wouldn't say things like that so casually."
"If it was absolute, I wouldn't say, 'It'll turn out okay,' retorted Lloyd, stung at her sudden ferocity.
"What do you mean?" Presea asked, irritated. "Those kinds of words are meant for when we feel that there is no need to worry."
"There's nothing in this world that's absolute," replied Lloyd, his tone challenging. "And I think that's precisely why we say things like that to ourselves. Stuff like, 'I know I can do it!' 'I know it'll be okay!'"
Presea looked down at her feet where the falling snow had begun to coat her boots. "Perhaps so," she whispered. The wind had picked up; lifting in swirls the snow that had yet to stick to the ground. She wrapped her arms around herself, pressing the winter coat closer in an effort to keep warm.
The pair sat quietly on the bench for a few minutes, lost in thoughts. Presea looked glumly up at the white coated tree branches hanging above, feeling more forlorn than she ever had done recently. This hadn't gone too well, she thought, feeling ashamed at her outburst.
"I…I'm sorry. Please forgive my rashness. I don't know why…I-"
"Hey, don't worry about it." Lloyd voice was comforting. "I'm sorry too – I didn't mean to offend you."
Presea smiled a little, looking up at her companion. "No, you didn't offend. It's just that…I don't know how to feel about this. I don't feel certain of anything, and to hear someone sound so positive and certain about well, everything really, it…" she hugged her coat closer again, "it just confuses me more. Should I be thinking the same way you do?"
Lloyd shook his head, "No Presea, you have to find out how you really feel yourself – from the heart." He smiled reassuringly, "Don't worry – you'll get there in time."
"I know. I know you're right, but…I…I want to get there now." She realised how child-like her voice sounded and dropped her hands down on her lap. "I'm tired of not knowing how to feel. Tired of being unable to be positive," she met his eyes, "I wish I was more like you."
Lloyd blushed, rubbing the back of his head. "Ah…haha…I wouldn't wish for that."
Presea cocked her head to one side in curiosity. Why is he acting like that? Oh, did I…I inadvertently complimented him?
"Forgive me if I made you uncomfortable," she said, "The compliment was not intentional. Well…" she blinked, colouring. "…That is to say, um, I didn't mean it to come out that way…but if you would like to take it as a compliment then that would be…nice."
Lloyd laughed again, embarrassment and nervousness mingling in with the sound. "Consider it taken," he said, smiling as he watched the descending snowflake. "But you know, you're great as yourself Presea. You shouldn't change."
She looked away, abashed and joined Lloyd in watching the falling snow, but her gaze kept falling back on him no matter how she occupied her mind. Presea found she just couldn't stop her gaze from returning to him, and in doing so, noticed that he seemed to be having similar difficulties. What is this? She wondered, feeling her stomach twist and jump.
Lloyd broke the silence with an embarrassed cough, "Y'know though, going back to what we were saying before. Honestly, I don't know if Altessa will be all right. The only thing I can do is believe in Altessa's will to live."
Presea nodded, forcing herself to look at the trees, or the buildings, or anywhere else…"Believe…" It didn't seem that hard to do at the moment.
"Yeah. And that's why I say, 'It'll be okay.' I'm going to keep saying it and keep believing it. Human will is a powerful thing. ...I'm gonna use that power to keep Altessa in this world."
"It must be that power of will that makes you so strong." Presea rubbed her freezing hands together, trying to return some feeling in them.
Lloyd looked at a loss for words again, "Uh…I dunno about that..."
"No…I was just thinking," she added hastily. "When I look at you, the things I thought were completely hopeless feel as though they may actually be easy to overcome."
Lloyd looked surprised, "Really? Ah...I'm simple-minded, so I don't think too hard about things. I just figure it'll work out somehow as long as I don't give up."
"That is an admirable philosophy." Presea shivered as the cold finally penetrated her coat.
"Are you okay there Presea? You look a little chilly."
"Uh…no, I am fine," she broke off as Lloyd leant forward suddenly, grabbing her hands, "Lloyd! What are you-"
"Presea! You're freezing," Lloyd's voice was soft with concern. "Why didn't you say anything?"
"I..ah…forgive me, I did not want to end our conversation abruptly." Presea's eyes were wide open with embarrassment as Lloyd began rubbing her hands rapidly, trying to warm them. "You…uh, you don't have to do that you know. I…I don't often feel comfortable discussing my own feelings but for some reason you…" her eyes once again found his, "…you always seem to make me feel at ease. I can always talk to you Lloyd, and that…means a lot."
She had surprised herself with that initial outburst, and once she had started it was like she couldn't stop – such a surge of emotion that had risen to the surface of her mind. Lloyd had stopped rubbing her hands now, but Presea noticed he had still kept them wrapped in his own.
"Presea…" he looked as though he was going to continue, and Presea found herself hanging on the word for what felt like an eternity until his nervous laughter brought her back to her senses. "You dork! You don't have to risk your own health just to talk to me – you only have to say."
"I know…" Presea suddenly felt childish, "I just do not want to feel like a burden, and our conversation tonight seemed to develop naturally. I just…didn't want it to end." She looked past Lloyd at the empty street, only a few lamps down it now keeping the darkness at bay. The snowfall had slowed now, with only the occasional flakes descending.
Lloyd smiled, "Yeah…I know what you mean, this was a lot of fun. And it helps to get things off your chest every now and then, so it was useful too." He gave her hands a quick squeeze before slowly – slowly – releasing them, "But remember, you only have to say the word if you want to talk, okay? I'll be there. Promise."
Promise. Presea smiled, "Affirmative. Please let me know if you ever need to converse too. I will be there also. Promise."
Lloyd laughed, but with genuine good spirits now carrying his voice rather than nervousness. "It's a deal then, so if you're ready, lets go back to the inn before we both die of cold."
"Do you think you can win against Mithos?" The question had been tugging at Presea's mind for a while since the conversation on the bench. Now, as they rounded the corner of the street and entered the grounds of the inn, she felt like she wanted to voice it before the night ended.
Lloyd was silent for a second in thought, "...Yeah. I'm going to win. I won't be able to fight him unless I have that mindset."
Presea nodded, that seemed to make sense. "Is it because you were friends with him for a little while?"
"I'm not sure," Lloyd shrugged. "Maybe. But I can't sympathise with him."
Presea paused to consider this, looking at the few lights left on in the inn. "Yes, he has done many terrible things--to humans, elves, and to the land itself."
"And to half-elves," added Lloyd, halting at the front door. "He took his own pain and forced it on everyone around him, and got the entire half-elf race caught up in the process."
"Yes. That's true."
As he opened the front door slightly, Lloyd sighed. "The fact is that humans and elves have both done bad things. And I'm sure that Mithos tolerated it as long as he could. But that's only an excuse for all the things he's done."
Presea's whisper seemed to carry itself through the quiet to every corner of the front garden. "Lloyd, you will win."
Lloyd stopped in the doorway, "Huh?"
Presea smiled, feeling a joy and confidence that wasn't there earlier that day. "That is how I feel after talking to you. If your will and Mithos' will were to collide, I'm certain that yours will overcome his, because you are not denying your true self."
Lloyd smiled warmly at Presea, making something inside her jump. "...Thanks. Just hearing you say that gives me the courage to take on Cruxis tomorrow."
She jerked her head up so her gaze met Lloyd's. I did not think we had come so far already, the small girl thought. "Tomorrow?"
"Yup." Lloyd sighed, "After we make sure Altessa's okay, I'm going to put an end to all of this."
This is it then, thought Presea; our journey will soon be over. She thought back to the conversation she had with Colette during the camp the other night. "You are going to defeat Mithos and unite the worlds."
"Yeah," said Lloyd. "That's the only way."
"Lloyd. I'm sure everything will be okay. I know...you can win." Presea knew she was confidant of that, but not of what would happen afterwards. She looked at the young man before her and finally something began to fall into place. Lloyd, she thought, I don't know what I'm going to do after this. I'm scared.
"Hey, you're being positive." Lloyd's cheerful voice pierced her thoughts, oblivious. Presea nodded, and tried a smile.
"Yes. I will lend you the power of my will as well."
A wide grin spread across Lloyd's face, "...Okay! I'll make good use of it!"
They had entered the inn quietly, but it transpired that they needn't have bothered, for the owner and several other guests were still up, raucous shouting and similar merriment spilled from the parlour, just visible from the foyer.
As Presea closed the door behind them, the owner poked his head round the parlour doorway, his face streaked red from, she presumed, large quantities of wine or ale.
"Ah young master…hmm, what was it now?" He bellowed in greeting.
"Irving," answered Lloyd jovially. "Lloyd Irving."
"Master Irving! That's the one," the owner laughed. "I never forget a face, me, but I sometimes forget a name. What brings you venturing out so late if I may be so bold as to ask? For it looks mighty brisk out there."
"Ah, we were just taking a walk to see the snow," Lloyd indicated Presea, "We haven't seen it fall that often."
The owner's eyes lit up with mischief on seeing Presea. "Oh ho ho, a nice romantic stroll eh?" He winked at Lloyd, "Say no more young master, say no more."
"What?" spluttered Lloyd, reddening. "No…no it wasn't like that at all. Right Presea?"
Presea could feel the heat rise in her cheeks as both Lloyd's and the owner's eyes fell on her.
"Affirmative," her voice barely more than a mumble. "I must inform you that you are mistaken in your assumption sir."
"Yeah, very much mistaken," Lloyd expanded. Presea looked at him.
The owner laughed, scratching his balding head. "Oh really? Haha, that's a shame. Never mind, anyway I'm in an especially jolly mood tonight. Fancy joining us all in here for a little drink?"
A chorus of drunken cheers and the sound of many hands banging their approval on a table supported the request.
"Ah, I may have to pass this time," Lloyd said, rubbing the back of his head. "I'd be in so much trouble if my companions found out. Especially if they weren't there to enjoy it themselves," he added for humorous effect.
It wasn't wasted on the owner, who laughed uproariously. "Fair enough master Irving," he said, wiping tears of laughter from his eyes, "The offer still stands though should you ever pass by in the future. You have a good night now," he shouted as he lurched back into the foyer.
Silence descended in the foyer as the pair approached the stairs, both looking awkward. Lloyd's laugh trembled slightly with embarrassment. "Some people, eh?"
"Yes," Presea paused, looking at Lloyd. "Though it was unnecessary to refute his comment so strongly." For some reason his denial, despite being true, had hurt her somewhat.
Lloyd's head shot down sharply as he looked at Presea. "What, really? Um…"
"Ah…I did not mean it like that," she added hastily, colouring. "I just meant to inform you that in doing so, it made it appear as though he…had struck a nerve." Presea selected a term she had heard Zelos use once, and hoped it was the right one.
"Yeah…maybe you're right." Lloyd exhaled deeply, "Whew, guess it's been a long night huh? I'm drained."
"Agreed. Due to the late hour, it is unlikely we will have fully recharged our energies by the morning."
Lloyd had started up the stairs, "Guess the Professor will have something to say about that when she gets back with the others. I wonder what Colette and Genis got up to tonight?"
He turned around as they reached the top, "Well, time for bed then."
"Yes…" agreed Presea, "Oh, before you go…I, I have something to give to you."
"Really?" Lloyd looked intrigued. "What is it?"
"It is…not much, but please, wait here while I retrieve it."
"Sure, will do."
Presea hurried quietly to her room and, leaving the door open, grabbed the item in question before returning to her companion outside. She handed it over with both arms outstretched, head bowed.
Lloyd took the item and studied it; "This is really nice. Is it a charm?"
Presea nodded, "Yes. I had some sacred wood left over from before and…um, well…I wanted to make you something."
Lloyd paused, the cord of the charm wrapped in his fingers. "Woah, wait a sec. Did you carve this, Presea?"
The small girl nodded, "Yes. It is an Ozette Mountain Hare. It is said to provide protection and good fortune."
Lloyd held it close as he examined it. "It's so detailed. Wow! Presea, it's amazing – thank you."
She fidgeted, "It was no trouble. Just a symbol of my…gratitude, and of my confidence in you."
He placed the cord over his head, tucking the charm under his clothes, then taking it back out and leaving it out on top. "Thank you. I…I won't waste that faith."
Presea blushed, "That is good," she paused, her better judgement winning over, "It is, um, late. Perhaps we should retire for the night."
Lloyd nodded, "You're right. Well, I enjoyed tonight Presea, lets do it again sometime."
Presea smiled. "Yes…that would be pleasant. Goodnight Lloyd." She paused in the doorway of her room, watching as Lloyd entered his own. And thank you.