Phase Ten – Half Broken

'Love is an electric storm of pleasure and pain', I agreed to that quote and it was the best quote that could describe this situation that I was in at the moment. When I've fallen for Edward, I felt pleasure of happiness and everything combined to make the feeling stronger. Now, I've fallen out of love for him, but it happened when he had left me for the first time so I couldn't say it was in the present, but it was still painful to see the look in his face; the pain, the sorrow, the heart broken, everything. She was able to cry, without tears, freely now that Renesmee was now sleeping soundlessly on Alice's bed. I was just outside the door, pressed up against it lightly while I sobbed silently against Alice's chest. I know that she was trying very hard not to sob with me, but she was being strong, for me, and I couldn't have it any other way.

After what seemed like hours, my sobs died out, only a few sniffles remained. I pulled away from her arms, looked up at her with my eyes filled with unshed tears. It hurt to not let them tears fall, it hurt more to see her so upset for both me and Edward. I'm not sure if she was regretting for what she did, or that she was blaming herself for our breakups. If she was regretting, then she would leave me and my world would come crashing down like the world had just instantly end. If she was blaming herself, then she shouldn't be, I was the one to blame.

"Bella…I…" She paused, why the heck did she pause for? Was she regretting? Was she blaming herself for this whole mess? My body tensed while I waited for her to speak again. Two years of being a vampire and I wasn't really that patience to be honest.

She sighed, and continued. If my heart could beat, it would be pounding against my chest at the moment. "It's my fault that I've caused all this, I'm sorry, I really, really am sorry."

So I was half right, she was blaming herself. How on earth could she have blamed herself, when I was part of the blame as well? "Alice, it's not your fault. It's my fault, I should have told him my feelings when you and Jasper left at that time. I never did thought about it, but when you two came back, I honestly had to control myself from not flying over to you and tackling you down with hugs."

She smiled at this, and I could hear a faint giggle from her as well. My lips curled up into a small smile, then I placed my hand on her face. Sure it was hard, but to me it was soft all the same. "Alice, I don't want you to go and blame yourself for something that I've done. It's not your fault, it's never your fault. If I didn't move to Forks, then you all would live a happy, peaceful life. But since I'm already here, I'm sorry for dragging drama with me and to this family."

Her smile faded, and she bit down her bottom lip while she shook her head furiously. Downstairs, I could hear many grunts in disagreement, the loudest would be Emmett. I didn't know how I've gotten myself to be this loved by the Cullens. Surely, I was only Isabella Swan, the most clumsiest human alive, well was anyway, now that I was a vampire I couldn't recall being that clumsy. I sighed at all the disagreements, both silent and verbal even if it was just grunts.

"Oh come on, just admit it so I can be happy that I've ruined the happy and loving family." I tried my best to make my voice seemed a little annoyed, but they didn't fall for it. In fact, the whole family grunted again, including Alice who practically just rolled her eyes. I sighed again, surely it wasn't going to work. This family, my family was too loving, too forgiving, too…everything that was good in the world.

"Seriously Bella, you're the best thing that has happened to us. You brought happiness to us. You brought happiness to all of us, including Edward. So don't even think about you ruining our happiness, do you understand me?" Alice's voice was so serious, and so demanding, that I found all I could do was giving her a nod of my head. I turned to look away, but soon felt a hand on my cheek and pulling my face back to where it was, and that was looking back up at Alice's golden eyes. Soon enough, I've found myself lost in them.

"He'll come around, don't worry." She smiled in reassurance, and leaned in to leave a rather loving, lingering kiss on my forehead. Well, I heard a soft cheer from below, following that a whine; Emmett and Rosalie no doubt. Both me and Alice giggled at this, before she helped me up. It was then that I realized I was still leaning against the door, on the floor with Alice.

It had always been Alice that comforted me when I needed it the most. Edward could read mind, but with the knowledge of him not able to read my mind when I needed him to, it didn't work out between us, not because of that I might add. He was always there at the right time, and he always knew exactly what to say to make me feel happy, but he wasn't there when I needed him the most. I thought he was everything that I wanted, but after he had left me completely broken beyond repair, I knew that he meant so little to me. Jacob was there to pick up the pieces, rather slowly, but when Alice came back it was like all of the pieces of my heart had been glued back into whole at her presence. I guess it was then that I started yearning for her whenever I was with Edward. Everything that she did, it was more softer, more comfortable, more relax than what Edward would do. He was always hard, tense and rather secretive. It was sometimes hard to make Edward tell me what he was thinking. I know that he was being protective of me, but at least he could give me some credit. Sure, I understood why he needed to protect me when I was human, but he did go overboard yet I forgave him for that. But for Alice, she just let me do what I wanted, even if she didn't approve of it. She was always there to support me, while Edward was there to support me when I begged him to. But, there was one thing that I couldn't quite throw away just yet.

Edward was a part of me, and now that I've lost him, I was half broken. I know that in time, that half would heal, and I would become whole again. I know that Alice would be the one to do that, but I also know that Edward would have the biggest part of the job to mend that half. I wasn't hoping that it would be soon, since I know that I should be punished in some way, and it looked like this was the only way I could be punished. Waiting should do me some good, but how am I going to break it down to Renesmee that her mother and father were longer married to each other? Well, in a sense, since it still said it on the paper.

A/N: Thank you for all of your reviews, I appreciate it. For those that are wondering where I get the quote from, it's from a song; Electric Storm by Delta Goodrem. Give it a listen, it's really good. And also, I've found a perfect song for Bella and Edward during their separation in New Moon; Wait For You by Kyla. Thank you for reading. =]