Phase Sixteen – False Happiness

I have been accommodating with Tanya's family. Everyone was there except for the people that have died, out of punishment. It was a cruel punishment, yet it was a punishment nonetheless. It was always like this, whenever I have a problem, I have to come up here to think it through. Ever since I've met Bella, my whole life had been turned upside down because of her. It was a good thing though, but I still couldn't believe that Bella had fallen in love with Alice, my sister. I know that she still love me, but not as much as she loved Alice that was for sure. I didn't know how long I have been secluding myself in this vast snowy forest. I've blocked everyone's thoughts, although I could still hear them when they came near. Then again, Tanya was always the one that would push herself to cheer me up. Even when I'm married, or was now, she still wouldn't forgive up on pursuing my love for her.

Just when I was dwelling on that thought, her scent hit me, including her thought. I just sat still, letting the snowflakes slowly burying me. I knew that I wouldn't freeze in a place like this. Then I heard her, her thought was full of worried. I didn't move though, I stayed completely still and let her approach me. I heard her sigh, and in a short second she had her arms around me. I didn't lean into the touch, yet I didn't pull away either. I just felt, so numb.

"Edward, I know that you're hurting right now, and that I have been saying the same thing over and over, but don't you feel like you need to move on?"

I couldn't feel anything. I wanted to tell her that. Even her arms around me, they didn't even exist. Her voice was reaching my ears, but it soon faded when my mind shut down. I couldn't get over Bella. She was my first love, my one true love, my life, my soulmate. But now, she was gone, she had fallen out of love for me, it was all my fault, I shouldn't have leave her in the first place. I felt like beating myself, yet I couldn't tell my body to do so.

"Edward…"

I thought I was numb. I honestly thought that I was so numb that I couldn't feel anything. But, I felt her lips grazing against my ear. She was trying to cheer me up, that was what my brain was telling me. Why couldn't it tell me something else? Like Tanya was trying to seduce me? Like I should pull away from her? But I had a better judgment than that. Tanya was trying to cheer me up as best as she could, and she'd do anything for me. She had been waiting for me over decades, yet my frozen heart fell in the hands of a human. Then it struck me; you can't control who you love. Why couldn't I think of that before? Bella fell in love with Alice, and Alice the same to her. I knew that Alice wouldn't hurt Bella, and that she would never leave Bella just like I did. All those times that I've made her stay away from Bella, the family too, Alice had done nothing but reluctantly obeyed me. She had a go at me, saying how selfish I was, telling me that I would kill Bella if I left, yet I didn't listen to her. If it wasn't for her coming back to check up on Bella, then Bella would still be broken, a lost soul even when she was a human. A lost soul, I chuckled at that. Tanya pulled back and I could hear her thought. She was rather surprised that I was chuckling. Finally, after forever, I turned to her and gave her a genuine smile.

"Thank you, Tanya, for always be here for me even when I want to be alone."

She pouted at that, and pulled away from me. Would it be wrong for me to admit that I miss her touch already? Possibly, I couldn't just go to her because my marriage with Bella was over. I didn't want to make her feel like she was just a replacement. I didn't want a replacement. I needed to calm down and take things slow.

"Well, someone needs to be here right Edward? Besides, when are you coming home? I bet they really miss you."

I sighed and stood up, letting the snow fall down, joining the heap that was already there at the ground. I knew that they were missing me. But I wasn't sure if Bella would miss me or not. Maybe not, she had Alice now. But knowing Bella, she missed everybody.

"Possibly tomorrow, I'll just going to leave now, can't have them missing me for that long now can I?" I chuckled again. Somehow, I felt lighter, happier, yet behind those emotions, I still felt sad, hurt, sorrow. But I knew that in time, I could make it through.

"Well, don't make them wait. Your daughter probably misses you a lot."

Renesmee. Because of my selfish being, I've forgotten about Renesmee. I frowned at myself. What kind of a father am I? Tanya laughed lightly, and patted my shoulder before she ran off towards the house. I called out to her, telling her to pass on my farewell, before I took off towards Forks. I'd be back at the house by tomorrow, late morning would be more like it.

I fed on the way home, realizing that I hadn't fed for a very long time. Well, the time when I had gotten up to the Denali. It was a satisfying meal. A mountain lion, my favorite, it was next to a human blood anyway, well close to it. The next day I had already arrived in Forks. I knew that Alice would have foreseen me, so in her vision, I told her not to tell the family. It could be a surprise, and even when I told her that, I couldn't help but frown. I knew that we were brother and sister, and she had stolen Bella from me. No, Bella had chosen her over me, and I wasn't blaming her. I was just too late to mend our already broken relationship. Marrying her wasn't really an answer.

When I was near at the house, I could hear Emmett's and Rosalie's thought. I had to chuckle at that. It didn't take even a minute for me to stand in front of the door, and let myself in. I was surprised by Bella however. She had dropped the magazine that she was reading, and instantly flung herself at me in a death hug. I had to chuckle, and hearing her voice once again soothed me. Then Alice came down, and we exchanged words, and that was it. I could hear her thoughts. She was telling me that everyone had been missing me, and Esme was the one that missed me the most. Bella was trying to avoid any memory that we shared. And Renesmee had been asking for me. I glowered at her then, and we stood facing each other in a silent, mental argument. I showed her what I've decided to say, and she would counter it with her thought. It was then that we broke away from each other due to Bella's sigh. Then, when Bella told us that we were supposed to hug because we were brother and sister, I didn't see the harm in that, and Alice as well. We looked at each other and gave each other a hug, a quick one. I was still unhappy that Alice had claimed Bella's heart instead of me.

I gave them my blessing anyway. I didn't want to have another fight. And I'd have to stay away from Alice's thought from now on unless she wanted me to read her. I didn't want to hear how she was going to make Bella happy. I didn't want to see the look of longing in Bella's eyes whenever she looks at Alice. It was still too much for me to handle one at a time.

Me and Emmett walked out to the forest to have a wrestling match. I could tell that Emmett wanted to ask me something, yet he was doing a very good job at hiding the question.

"Emmett, just ask me already." I asked, a little irritated that he kept on changing his mind.

"Fine, fine." He sighed before continuing. "Are you okay with Alice and Bella together now?"

I nodded. "Yes, I am. You heard me giving them my blessing."

"But, are you alright? Bella was your wife."

He could be so observant at time, and this got me by surprise, just a little.

"Yes, I am alright. Speaking of wife, is Jasper back yet?" I asked, although I knew that he wasn't back since I couldn't hear his thoughts anyway. Emmett shook his head before he crouched down in a pounce position.

"No, but my hands are itching for some wrestling."

I chuckled and mimicked his action. "Yea, let's scratch that itch of yours shall we?" Then off we went. I was fast and I could read Emmett's mind. But knowing him, he wouldn't use his brain to win a wrestling when he was going up against me. We always had fun, and this was exactly what I needed to distract myself from her.