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Chapter 9

Raven

I met Raven at Charlie's gravesite the next day. I had not seen her since Charlie's funeral, but I would have recognized her anywhere. It was not just that she was stunningly beautiful, so much so that Rosalie cringed at the sound of her name, it was her grace – floating across the graveyard to me reminding me more of a vampire than Quielute.

Raven had waist length hair that was straight and full and seemed almost serpentine, coiling itself around and over itself in the wind. She showed confidence and poise with every perfectly placed word, action, or motion. Everything she did was deliberate, but not aloof. She was her father's pride and joy, and while they were different in every way, I saw our beloved Seth alive and well in her eyes.

"You are still so beautiful" I said, almost involuntarily. I smiled at her, mirroring her confidence but feeling little of it.

"Thank you, Bella. It has been too long." Raven replied and reached out to hug me. To her credit she either did not feel, or did not acknowledge my cold, stiff frame. "Shall we walk?" she continued.

We walked through the different gravestones, and I tried to remember what it was like to fear death. I was aware of human emotions, and some stayed with me even after the change, but I could not remember a time when I had that experience. Even when I went to meet James, I was not afraid of death, just the nothingness that would make me leave Edward.

Raven and I did not talk for a long time. She swept off grass clippings from the markers while I untangled wind chimes and righted flowers that had fallen. We had never been especially close, but felt bonded never the less. Seth had the effect on people.

When we finished tidying up, we sat on a bench under an old tree in the corner. We talked comfortably for awhile, catching up on family news and the gossip on the reservation. Raven was going for her Master's Degree in the fall and hoped to use her education to lobby for further laws to protect her people and lands. When I told her how proud I was of her, and how proud I knew her Dad would be, she winced. Before I could apologize, she squared her shoulders and smoothed her face, signaling it was time to get down to business.

"Raven, I wanted to talk to you about Jacob." I started. It was her eyes that gave away her shock at hearing his name, and nothing else. I went on.

"Jacob is now well over one hundred years old, and is aging rapidly. We don't understand what has changed, but can only think that his body has held on for as long as it could and even Renesme's presence in his life cannot stop the inevitable." I stole a quick glance at Raven but her face showed nothing but that she was listening.

"Renesme and Jacob have decided that they want to investigate…" I took a deep breath, "Investigate the possibility of Jake becoming like the rest of the Cullens." I managed to say it slowly, feeling somehow relieved that it was said, and then instantly tensing again awaiting her response.

When she realized I was finished, she stood up and had her back to me. I was desperate to see her face, to try to read her expressions. Moreover, I was frustrated that she had been smart enough to agree to meet me under the proviso that Edward would not be there.

Raven turned back to me after a long moment. Her eyes were sad, worried, and I was even more concerned than before.

"I don't know that I can help you, Bella. The treaty is very clear that your family may not bite a human. It was agreed upon without conditions. It will be difficult to get the elders to discuss a variance, when they feel as though a concession was already made by them in allowing your change. Now, with their fears of your return causing another pack to emerge from our young men, not to mention the unknowns of turning a wolf…" She trailed off.

"But Raven, I was dying. So is Jake. The two scenarios are not so different. And besides, he's one of you. Surely if one of your own asked for a loophole?" I had intended for the last part to come out as a statement, but it sounded like a question, and more pleading with every word.

"You don't understand. Jake is dead to the tribe. Only a handful of the elders even know of Jacob's existence. I am the only female in the whole tribe, and you know that's only because of my Dad. Jacob has not been one of us in years. Bella, we tell stories of the hero Jacob and his honorable death at our tribal campfires." Her voice was raised, but she was calm, explaining.

"But then what's the problem, Raven? If everyone thinks he's dead already why can't we help save him?"

"Because it's not saving him to us. It's dooming him to the life of an immortal. Death is the honorable choice." She stared down, talking quietly. I wanted to believe that it was because she didn't believe the rhetoric, but I couldn't be sure.

"Raven, please. We have made no decisions yet. But, I…We, do not want to alienate the tribe we look to as friends. Is there anything you can do?" I was pleading now, not caring if it made me look weak to this young woman.

"I make no promises, Bella. But, I will try."

She walked away slowly, and turned a few feet away. "I will be in touch. Tell Uncle Jacob..I love him?" It was then I saw the tears in her eyes and knew I had an ally in Raven, and I hoped it would be enough.

I walked back to Charlie's grave, sitting on the ground in front of his headstone. It was Edward who had chosen the inscription for the headstone, and I smiled when I re-read his words:

Charlie Swan

Beloved Everything

1955-2043

I spoke to Charlie for hours. The fact that these graveside conversations had been some of the longest ones of my existence was not lost on me. I missed his quiet strength and being someone's little girl. I felt lost, and wanted to be taken care of, even if it meant being a selfish girl right at that moment.

I hugged my knees and wrapped my arm around my waist. I sat there quietly thinking when I smelled Alice and Jasper approaching. I turned to them and realized why Alice was there, smiling. She had seen my decision before I was conscious I had made the decision.

"Let's go shopping. I have no idea what to wear to this thing" I said, and she smiled even bigger, if that was possible.