Disclaimer: Story is mine, but not the characters :).

Author's Note: Wow, thanks for the reviews :D. Crucial chapter ahead . . . .

-----------------------------------------

Chapter Eighteen: Missing Pieces of the Puzzle

Olivia was seething after having learned that Casey had gone behind her back and told Elliot her version of what she thought happened between Nick, Nicky, and her. The worst part about it was that they wouldn't have told her about their conversation. It was only because Casey had decided to warn her that there might be a confrontation between Elliot and Nick.

She was trying to decide what to do next. Did she want to break up with Elliot? Could she trust him again after knowing that he kept that conversation secret? She didn't know what to think or what to do, but she was currently parked in front of his house trying to weigh her options.

Stabler residence:

Elliot looked out of his living room window when he noticed a car pull up to his house. He then noticed that it was Olivia's car. As he got up to open the door to see if she was okay someone knocked.

When he opened the door he noticed that Olivia was wearing her pajamas breathing heavily, and had murder in her eyes.

"What's wrong, Liv?" he asked concerned by her late visit as he moved aside to let her in.

"Were you ever going to tell me that you and Casey are keeping secrets from me?" she seethed.

"What are you talk . . ." he started saying before Olivia cut him off.

"Cut the bullshit! Casey told me about the conversation you had at the hospital. Why didn't you tell me about it?" she rasped as her voice was hoarse from all the yelling she had done earlier.

"I promised I wouldn't," he hollered his own temper rising with her accusations.

"So what? You and Casey had a laugh at my expense, is that it?" she yelled with tears in her eyes.

"Laugh, no! We didn't laugh at you, I would never laugh at you," he grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her lightly trying to make her understand.

"That's just fucking great. T-t-this is why I didn't want to start anything with anyone again. I knew it would happen again," she struggled trying to keep her emotions in check as a solitary tear ran down her cheek.

Elliot reached over and wiped the tear off her face as he gently cupped her chin making her look at him, "Tell me what happened to you Liv."

She scoffed as she moved away from his grip, "I'm sure Casey already told you."

"I don't care about Casey's assumptions; I want to hear the truth from you," he reached over and grabbed her hand as he led her to the couch.

"Um," she muttered.

"Come on, I promise I won't judge you. Just like you didn't judge me when I told you about my parents," Elliot said as he gave her a reassuring smile.

"Okay," Olivia reluctantly agreed. She couldn't believe she was actually going to talk to someone about what had happened it was so unlike her. 'Man what is it about Elliot that makes me feel so at ease?' she inwardly asked herself.

"Good, now sit down and make yourself comfortable," he said as he sat on the couch waiting for her to sit next to him.

"Fine, but before I start my whole explanation I need you to understand something. I need you to understand that I am still me, no matter what I tell you here tonight. I-I-I hope-e-e that it won't change your opinion of me," she said as she tried getting her thoughts together.

"Hey, I don't care if you tell me that you murdered your neighbor. I'm sure you had a good reason for it," he joked trying to ease her discomfort.

"No, I didn't murder anyone. I felt like doing it at the time but I didn't. Plus, it didn't help that my dad's a cop well detective- uh-captain now actually . . ." she snorted.

"Wow, weird coincidence," he muttered thinking about his own father who was a cop before he died.

"Uh-huh," she nodded. "As you know my sister and I are both adopted. I was adopted first when I was almost two years old. My dad found me when he and my uncle John worked a case; my biological mom's case actually. She was being investigated for child abuse because she was always too drunk to take care of me, and she would also beat me. Um, I later found out why . . . nobody knows that I know the truth because everyone kept it from me. Well the reason for her binges and beatings was because she was r-r-r-a, and I w-w-was, it was because of me-e-e."

"Hey, we can stop if it makes you this upset," he said as he rubbed her back.

Olivia cleared her throat and tried telling him again, "She was r-r-r."

Seeing her struggle Elliot decided to make a quick run into the kitchen to grab a glass of water for her. As he walked back in to the living room he heard Olivia blurt out, "She got pregnant with me after she was r-r-r-raped by my biological father!"

After a couple of minutes of stunned silence he was able to find his voice, "Wow, Liv."

"I know," she said as she shakily took a drink from the glass of water Elliot had gotten for her.

"Um, did they find your biological father?" he asked.

"No," she sighed.

"You know I'm touched that you would trust me enough to share that with me. Thank you and I want you to know that my opinion and my feelings haven't changed at all. Well, no I shouldn't say that . . ." he said as he placed a tender kiss on her lips.

Olivia immediately tensed hearing his words, "What do you mean?"

Elliot gently lifted her face so he could look into her eyes, "I. Love. You."

"What?" Olivia asked taken aback with a sheen layer of tears that were quickly forming.

He gently ran his hand down her arm before grabbing her hand and intertwining their fingers together, "I love you, Olivia. Everything about you, your wonderful caring heart, your laugh, your free spirit, your tough as nails attitude; all of it. I realized this some time ago, but I didn't want to scare you off so I decided to keep my feelings to myself. I just can't and won't do it anymore; I don't care if you tell me to fuck off now. I wanted to mmmm . . ."

His declaration was cut off by her lips meshing onto his as she showed him how she truly felt about him in a head to toe tingling kiss. When she pulled away they both had tears running down their faces, "I love you too, Elliot so much," she said as she placed several kisses on his lips.

Their intimate moment was interrupted by Olivia's cell phone.

"Ugh," she complained as she reached for her bag. "Hang on, I have to get this."

Elliot sighed as he leaned back on the couch with a smile on his face. He couldn't believe that Olivia felt the same way about him, he was ecstatic.

"Hello? Hey, yeah I'm fine. Uh-huh, I know you are, Casey. We'll talk about it when I get home, don't worry I didn't do anything stupid . . . yeah, I'm over at Elliot's . . . no, I'm not. He cleared a few things up," she said as she smiled at him. "Okay, I'll talk to you later . . . yeah I'll be careful, bye."

"Casey?" Elliot asked with a smile on his face.

"How'd you know? Where were we?" Olivia smirked as she sat back down.

"Well things were getting interesting, but if we keep doing that I know I won't be able to stop myself," he joked even though he was being serious.

"Right, me either. So let me just tell you what happened with my ex-boyfriend," she softly said as she held his hand.

"Okay," he said as he brought her hand up to his lips to place a soft kiss on it.

"Hmm, okay so I was adopted by this wonderful couple: Donald Cragen and his wife Marge. They were so amazing when they took me in. I remember how doting they both were with me, and how great it felt to have actual parents, you know?" she asked as she took a sip of water. "My dad is amazing with me, very understanding, and supportive of everything that I choose to do. I love my family so much they mean the world to me, and even though I may not always show it – I do love them very much."

"I'm sure they know that," he soothingly whispered.

"My life was amazing, it was perfect. Well, I had what I thought was the perfect life. I had wonderful parents, a great sister, and a kickass uncle. I was on the cheerleading squad, and everybody wanted to be my friend, but you know nothing is as perfect as it seems . . . well my life came to a complete and screeching halt. It was just so horrible-e-e," her voice cracked.

"Hey, you're okay. It's all right, baby. Take your time," he reached over to wipe her tears away and held them in his hand like they were precious jewels.

"E-e-everything came crashing down around me. It's been over two years since it h-h-happened-d-d. My mother was a stewardess, and on one of her flights s-s-she," Olivia stopped to catch her breath. "The plane she was on c-c-c-crashed into the ocean . . . n-n-no survivors," she took a moment to collect herself before continuing. "My dad fell into a depression after that which my sister, my uncle, and I got him out of. Afterwards, I lost-t-t who I was because it felt like my identity was stolen from me. I was trying to find myself and I was getting pressure from everyone to be the perfect daughter, sister, girlfriend and all that. My best friend at the time, Nicky, she was feeding me all this bullshit about being my friend and being there for me no matter what."

Elliot cringed when he noticed how tense Olivia had gotten. He badly wanted to comfort her, but wasn't sure what to do. He had an idea where this part of her story was going, and it pissed him off that she had to go through so much in her life and then having to deal with her so called friends' betrayal.

He sighed before whispering, "I know what you mean."

Olivia had missed his comment so she continued on, "So one evening I go over to Nick's place . . . I let myself in and when I got to the living room . . . I saw Nicky and Nick fucking on his couch!"

"I'm so sorry, Liv," he whispered in her ear.

She nodded as she wiped her tears away, "That was my breaking point. I changed so much after that day; everything about my old life was gone. There was no room for weakness in my life. Nicky even had the nerve to try to blame me for their fucking actions. So, I did what I had been wanting to do since I caught them, I beat her ass and got a little payback at Nick when I keyed the shit out of his precious Porsche."

That caused Elliot to laugh along with her. After a couple of minutes their laughter died down.

"You know none of that shit was your fault, right?" he asked as he soothingly rubbed her hand.

"I know that now," she sighed as she smiled.

"I'm so sorry you had to go through that baby. I'm so sorry, I know how shitty that feels," he said as he kissed the inside of her wrist.

"You do? How?" she gasped when she felt his warm mouth on her wrist.

"Uh, I went through something similar with Kathy. Except I didn't walk in on her, but I did see part of their performance when Eckerson decided to show the entire football team the newest addition to his collection of sex tapes. After that little show I quit the team, and cut off all the people that pretended to be my friends. I went back to the basics with Fin, and Melinda since they were always there for me. Connie, Mike, and Chester are my friends too, but I'm not as close with them since I haven't known them as long and they're a couple of years younger," he murmured.

"Wow, that's rough. I'm sorry you had to go through that," she said then she lightly rubbed his hand with her thumb and leaned her head on his shoulder.

Elliot held her closer, "It was rough for both of us, but I know that our experiences have helped us grow."

She sighed as she ran a hand through her hair, "Yeah, but we've had some fucked up luck, haven't we?"

"Well I don't know about you, but I know my luck changed when I met you," Elliot said before gently tugging on her bottom lip as he leaned down to kiss her. Olivia sighed softly when she felt his lips on hers. He put his all into everything he did and kissing was no exception. Her stomach fluttered when his teeth persistently nibbled and tugged at her lower lip until she gave in. She clutched his face with her hands as he bunched her hair in his.

"I should go," she rasped after some time.

"Yeah," he nodded helping her to her feet then walking her to her car. After closing her car door he leaned in, "I love you." She smiled as she mouthed the words back before giving him a quick kiss then driving away.