Chapter 7: Welcome home Bella, oops I mean Izzy!

Edward's POV.

"I'm so sorry Bella. Please, I didn't mean to hurt you." I reached out, tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear and she sighed, leaning into my hand.

"I know Edward, its ok. I forgive you." She smiled up at me with those perfect chocolate eyes, and I felt my long dead heart almost contract with the overwhelming sense of love I have for her.

"My Bella, my beautiful Bella," I murmured playing with a lock of her hair. She giggled and I watched in awe as a blush rose and settled on her cheeks. I leant in and marveled at her scent, pressing my lips to her ear. She shivered deliciously against me.

I pulled back and stared at her again. Her lips, her eyes, her hair. Just her. Everything about her was my undoing. Her hands roamed across my chest, up my neck and settled softly in my hair. The feeling was unbelievable and my eyes rolled slightly . She twisted my hair between her fingers and pulled me gently to her mouth. I moaned as our lips touched and moved together. She broke free all too soon for breath, and I showered kisses along her jaw.

"I love you Isabella Swan."

"I love you Edward Cullen."

"Edward?"

My eyes snapped open and I stared at Esme. It's at times like these, I'm glad I'm the mind reader, because I think everyone would be thoroughly sickened by my constant fantasies about Bella running through my head.

"I'm sorry. You didn't hear me knock? Are you okay?"

No!

"Yes, I'm fine."

Fucking liar. You are anything but fine!

I sighed inwardly. It was true. I wasn't fine. I was surviving, just surviving. The love of my eternal life, my soul, my reason for being had probably finished collage, started a job, made new friends, was enjoying her life… without me. I rolled onto my back and ran my fingers through my hair. I refused to think of the other aspect of her life she may have moved on with. Thinking of Bella in someone else's arms was just too much for me.

"They found Emmett." Esme said quietly, looking out the window.

I winced. Out of all of them, Esme took the loss of Bella the hardest. She locked herself away for days, sobbing and wondering how she had lost another child. Carlisle became really worried about her and spent most of his time in front of her room, waiting for her to come out. Everyone else seemed disappointed, sad or angry and I couldn't take much of everyone's thoughts and left for Rio soon after our move to the Denali's.

After a year of eating dirty rats in a dingy hole in Rio's poverty district, Emmett and Jasper found me and dragged me back home and I'm ashamed to say it, kicking and screaming like a two year old. I kept telling them I wasn't worth saving, to leave me to die. They both ignored me, rolling their eyes and telling me to get over it. I pushed Emmett too far when we touched down in New York for a lay over and he dragged me into the janitors closet. Emmett belted the crap out of me, telling me to man up and just be there for my family.

Needless to say, my homecoming wasn't spectacular. Alice and Jasper were living in different rooms due to the extreme amount of emotions Alice was letting off. Emmett and Rosalie were bickering more than usual and Esme hadn't eaten in weeks, Carlisle barely leaving her side. I managed to coax Esme out and hunt, I was happy that she began to get better but Carlisle had become a permanent fixture to her shadow. My family was all too cut up over leaving Bella and it was all my fault.

I suggested we move to Seattle much to the surprise of everyone. Carlisle had purchased a bit of land near Seattle in the 70's. It was large enough that we wouldn't be bothered and close enough to wild game. Carlisle chose a small doctors surgery to work in and Esme redecorated the house. None of us went to school. Humans just seemed harder to be around. We could of just dropped off the face of the earth and no one would have been the wiser.

When Emmett snapped and bolted it shocked the entire family. He was the last person we thought would lose it. I left to hunt, hoping to drown out Rosalie's snide remarks about me letting my brother down. I shut her up when I told her he was married to a fucking bitch. Harsh I know, but that is what our family had sunk to. When I returned, Jasper, Alice and Rosalie had just left to find Emmett. Apparently he had called, but Emmett being Emmett, he didn't tell them where exactly he was. Esme said it wouldn't take long to find him and I just nodded and went to my room.

"Edward?"

I glanced at Esme.

"Do you still think of her?" she murmured.

Every nano second of every second of every minute of every hour of every day of every week of every month of every long fucking year!

"Sometimes."

Fucking Lair!

I watched Esme's shoulders slump and she walked out the of my room, closing the door softly behind her. I felt horrible for lying to her but if she knew the truth she would try to convince me to go back to Bella. And I wouldn't have the strength to resist. That wasn't what was best for Bella.

If you love her, you'll go back to her.

If you love her, you'll stay away from her.

I grabbed the remote and turned the music up. Maybe it would drown out the fights I was about to hear when Emmett got home. Rose was extremely sorry for how she'd been treating him and she had been a bigger bitch then usual, but that didn't mean he wasn't going to get his ass handed to him.

I heard Jasper's car pull up and Emmett's jeep skidded right behind it.

"Fuck Emmett, you ding my car and I'll wallop you!" Jasper yelled.

"You wish brother o'mine," Emmett snorted.

The front door slammed and I shut my eyes mentally, preparing for the all out slinging match between the family and Emmett.

Edward Cullen! You are in so much trouble.

I sat up when I heard Alice literally screaming in my head. She flung the door open so hard that it ripped off its hinges and flew across the room. I stared at her amazed and confused. She was so angry that no thoughts formed in her mind. There was just an angry buzzing sound. A ferocious growl ripped from her chest. She stalked into the room, seething with anger I have never seen from her.

"Alice? What is the matter?" Esme and Carlisle came up behind her, worry and concern clearly evident on their faces.

"I am going to kill you, Edward, for what you've done to me."

What did I do to her? Wait a minute, Emmett should be the one in trouble. I just stayed in my room and kept away from everyone. I even hunted alone. I couldn't make sense of anything. I stood up trying to think of a wrong that I had committed against her that would turn her into the snarling feral beast in front of me. Jasper came up behind her and pulled her into his arms.

"No Jasper!" she screamed, struggling to get out of his hold.

"Let go. Let me go. I'm going to kill him. I'm going to rip your fucking head off. You ruined EVERYTHING!"

Jasper was pulling out all the stops to try and calm her down. She was like a hellcat possessed, thrashing against Jasper's strong hold on her. Finally she slumped in his arms dry sobbing and clutching his shirt. I stared horrified as Jasper slid to the floor with her, crooning in her ear and rocking her gently. She folded into him and I have never seen her look so small. I glanced at Esme and Carlisle and they looked just as shocked and confused as I felt.

"How could you make us do that?" she whispered into Jasper's shirt.

I walked over and looked down at Jasper. He gave me a hard look and I tried to discern something from his thoughts, but he was concentrating on Alice to much. I looked at Alice. She had never looked more crushed, more defeated than at this moment. I was disgusted that I was the cause of this. I would do anything in my power to find out what I did and fix it. I ran my hand over her spiky hair. She flinched at my touch and I withdrew my hand, hurt. What had I done for her to hate me so lividly?

"I don't understand, Alice, what did I do?"

Before I realized it, I was flying across the room. As I made contact with the wall, I looked up to see Rosalie had thrown me. Hatred just rolled off her.

Now what?

I looked at her, really confused and then she opened her mind and I saw everything.

I sat horrified as I sifted through Rosalie's memories. A beautiful woman, so full of self assurance and hatred floated in front of me. Everything was wrong about her, her clothes, her stance, her body. Yet in a strange way suited her perfectly. I knew her, yet I didn't. Bella. My Bella. My sweet, innocent Bella. I watched as I saw Bella advance on Alice like an angry lioness. Her chocolate brown eyes were bunched up in anger as she yelled and pointed. Even though I was horrified, my dead heart leapt against my chest. She was alive. She was ok. She was still the most beautiful woman in the world. I was amazed that I was actually seeing her again. Granted it was through Rosalie's memories but the vision was crystal clear. Then as fast as my feelings pooled, they dispersed as the harsh questions attacked me. What had exactly happened to her? I had left her in Forks safe and human. What in gods name went wrong?

"Can some one please tell us what is happening?" Carlisle asked with a look of utter bewilderment on his face. Esme was clutching his hand tightly as she glanced nervously between Alice and me.

Just then Emmett bounced the epitome of glee in a room completely devoid of happiness. He was clapping his hands together and grinning like the complete idiot he was.

"Izzy's back, Izzy's back, Izzy's back," he chanted doing a spin and laughing at his own antics.

"Who is Izzy?" Carlisle asked.

"Isabella of course." Emmett exclaimed throwing his hands in the air like a cheerleader.

The name brought Esme and Carlisle to a complete stand still. Thoughts ran errant in their heads of the old Bella and how much they missed her. I sighed inwardly. What would they think of her when they see her now? What would they think of me knowing that I had deliberately pushed Bella to become who she is?

My Bella, my Bella, my poor Bella. What have I done to you?

Carlisle looked at me then to Alice. But Alice? She should be ecstatic. I did not understand.

Edward, has anything happened to Bella?

He stared at me as he conveyed his silent question. I shook my head. No, there was nothing wrong with Bella, but then again there was nothing right with her either and it was all my fault. Carlisle kneeled down to Alice and stroked her face.

"Alice, honey, aren't you happy that you saw Bella?"

"Izzy," Emmett corrected him.

Alice sighed and looked at him.

"Of course I'm happy Carlisle, but she's not the same Bella we left."

"Her name is Izzy, now," Emmett said rolling his eyes. Esme looked at Emmett quizzically, but chose to ignore him instead, turning her attention on me.

Now you have a chance, Edward. You can tell her you're sorry and we can start being a family again.

She was beaming at me and I winced under the power of the fantasy that ran through her mind. I couldn't bear to tell her the truth. The joy that was radiating from her made me cringe. I hadn't felt her this happy since Bella's birthday.

I was suddenly overwhelmed with all the emotions that my shock had kept at bay till now. Shame, guilt and fear enveloped me and the room got very small. I needed to get out and clear my head. I needed to get away from Esme and Carlisle's overwhelming happiness, Rosalie and Alice's hatred for me and Emmett's incessant chanting .

"Izzy's back, Izzy's back, Izzy's back."

I growled and pushed past all of them running down the stairs. I stopped at the door when I smelt that delicious scent. Freesias and strawberry. My heart soared, my vision swirled and I almost felt my heart beat. I grabbed the door knob and flung it open with such force the hinges groaned.

There, leaning casually against the door pane with a small smile on her heart shaped face, was my Bella.