Chapter 11: The Goddess + The Pixie + The Bad Ass = Pure Evil

Bella's/Izzy's POV

Watching Edward pretty much swallow his own tongue this morning was not the only highlight of my day. Esme had gone out some time when I was asleep last night and bought a shit load of food. The cupboards were absolutely crammed with every kind of food imaginable, and it made me wonder how much she had actually missed me. A lot apparently.

After I finished breakfast, I began washing up my dishes, and listening to my iPod that I had placed in Emmett's iDock. Music blared loudly from the tiny speakers and I couldn't help singing softly along, my butt wiggling and my hips rolling in time with the beat. I heard Emmett walk in carrying a very amused Rose over his shoulder. He pulled out a stool from under the kitchen island and gently placed her down on it. She looked up at him, grinning before swiveling around and smiling at me. I chuckled to myself at how Rose and I had suddenly become friends. Six years ago I could barely look at her without blushing, she intimidated me that much. Now I was just as bitchy as she was, able to hold my own against her. She no longer scared me, and I no longer annoyed her. We were on equal footing.

Edward strolled in after them, his brows knitted together as if concentrating on something. He didn't even acknowledge my existence and that irked me.

Time to work that voodoo, baby.

I spun around lightly, knowing that my hair would cause my scent to waft over to him. As I shimmied my hips I caught a glimpse of Edward's head snap up, and I knew he was now openly staring at me. I flicked my hips again and, out of the corner of my eye, I saw his mouth open and close a few times, as he watched my body move to the beat of the music.

"Oh yeah, shake that ass!

Emmett strode over and gave me a light whack on my butt before he grabbed the breakfast stool next to Rose, and plopped himself down in it. I couldn't help but grin at him. I took a peek over at Edward who was leaning against the wall trying to act casual and failing miserably. His fists were curling and uncurling and his jaw was tight. It was obvious that he was trying very hard not to lose it. My grin widened.

.

"Behave dufus!" Rose murmured as she slapped the back of Emmett's head. He laughed and waggled his eyebrows at me.

Oh yeah here it comes!

I chuckled and placed the plate in the cupboard. As I stood up, I pushed my ass out in the exact same way I did at the club.

3...2...1

"Emmett!" roared Edward.

I snickered as Emmett was crashed tackled to the ground by a very pissed Edward.

God! The Cullen boys were so predictable!

Rose was on her feet watching as Edward tried to pummel a now laughing Emmett. I walked over to Rose and crossed my arms. She asked looking at me, a little pissed off at being left out of the loop.

"What the fuck, Iz?"

"I think Eddie just got a head full of what Emmett and I got up to the other night." Rosalie's perfectly shaped eyebrow raised, and she grinned.

"Do tell?"

I laughed. Emmett and Rose had a very strange relationship. After I walked in on them this morning they acted like nothing had happened, and I'm positive that Emmett didn't get his happy ending. Now Rose was trying to get me to dish details on what her husband and I had gotten up to in a dark and dirty nightclub. She didn't seem jealous, well not of my relationship with Emmett anyway.

"Oh nothing really. Drinking, dancing and brawling. Emmett made me stop actually."

Rose's face fell a bit and I laughed again as I took a running leap over the boys.

"Are you coming shopping, Ro?" I said over my shoulder. I knew Alice would be happy, me inviting Rose to come along with us.

"God, yes! Watching the boys fight over you is kinda boring," she said instantly by my side.

"Aww! You're just jealous 'cause they're not fighting over you," I chuckled punching her lightly in her rock hard arm. She rolled her eyes and then pouted.

"Hole in one, Swan." I laughed and I slugged my arm across her shoulders.

"Its ok, Ro. Let's go and play with some human boys, shall we?" Her face immediately brightened, and she skipped ahead of me.

"Well what are we waiting for? Let's go get Alice."

I laughed as I ran up the stairs and followed her into Alice's room. From below I could hear Emmett pleading his case.

"But dude she was sticking her ass in my crotch, not the other way round"

I could hear Edward growling as he laid into his brother. I chuckled again, and Alice smiled up at me. She was sitting against the bed's headboard reading a fashion magazine. Jasper sat on the Louis VII chair to the right, immersed in a book.

"So, Jazz moved back in, huh?" Rose said plopping herself down, and picking up one of the magazines that littered Alice's bed. My eyebrows shot up as I looked between Alice and Jasper.

"We sort of couldn't handle each other for a while," Alice said sheepishly.

"A while? Four years is a long while," Rose snorted.

"Four years!?! What the hell happened?" Suddenly Jazz was at my side, leading me out by the elbow.

"Ladies, I think I really need to have a chat with Izzy."

From over my shoulder I could see Alice and Rose shrug before going back to their magazines. This was weird 'cause Jazz and I barely spoke when we were in high school. Not for lack of trying of course, but he was dealing with his whole bloodlust thing and it had been hard for him to be around me. Now he seemed completely at ease, and I wondered how in control he actually was.

Jasper led me outside and into the forest. We stopped at a small clearing, not far from the house and he motioned for me to sit down on a large fallen log. I knew we were in for a heart to heart so I tried to lighten the situation a bit.

"So is this your big plan to finish the job." I laughed. Jasper didn't. I sighed and sat down on the log. Jasper sat down next to me, his butterscotch eyes boring into mine. He looked like he was in pain.

"Dude, jokes. I don't blame you."

"But you have every right to blame me, Bella." He said, looking down at his hands in shame. I reached over and patted his hand. I waited until he looked back up at me before starting.

"It's Izzy, and I don't blame you. I blame Edward. He's the one who pushed me into the glasses. He underestimated you, Jazz. One drop of blood would have made you think about draining me, but I doubt you would of done it."

Jazz cocked his head, confused. I giggled because he looked like a cute puppy, who didn't understand the command I was giving him. I looked back up at the house, running my fingers through my hair.

"Look! When Edward heard what you were thinking he freaked out pushed me into the glasses, and caused my arm to slice open. That's when you went all I vant to suck your blood."

Jasper chuckled at my lame imitation of Dracula but nodded his head. We were silent for awhile and I noticed Jasper was looking down at my hand on his. I moved it away and leaned back on the log.

"So what's going on with you and Alice?"

"Nothing now. Since you got back, we're good. Just after we kidnapped Edward back from Rio, Alice and Edward had this huge blow out about you and going back to Forks. He said some really hurtful things to her and it opened up old wounds. I couldn't stand to be around her, her feelings were that depressing."

"No doubt you dealt with a lot of shit when I was away, huh Jazz?"

"Yeah I did. It was a constant struggle."

"I'm sorry," I murmured looking up at him. His brows knitted in confusion before he shook his head.

"It's not your fault, Izzy. You were pushed away."

"Yes but you had to deal with all the crap afterwards."

Jasper leaned his head on my shoulder and let out a breath. I leaned my head on his, smiling at the fact that Jazz and I had never been this close before. It was completely innocent, just a little sister comforting her older brother. I inhaled his scent; a mixture of leather, pepper and rosewood. It was delicious, almost as delectable as Edward's.

"Thank you." Jasper whispered. I almost didn't catch it, it was that soft.

"For what?"

"For coming back. For fighting for us when we didn't fight for you." I smiled when he pulled back and kissed me forehead.

"Nothing can keep me away from the Cullen clan." I said standing up.

Yeah that bitch, fate just loves to fuck with you.

Hey it was my decision to come here.

Was it really though?

I frowned slightly at that thought. It was wasn't it…my decision? I didn't like my decisions being made for me, but it was strange how readily I accepted the fact The Cullen's were back in life. Like it was meant to be. I suppressed a shiver that threaten to sliver up my spine.

Jasper cocked his head, quizzically but didn't say anything. Instead he stood up, taking a step closer towards me, and I realized just how tall he was. How the hell did he and Alice work? He pulled me into a hug, and I was amazed at how far he had come to be able to be so close to a human.

"I know," He whispered in my ear, and somehow I knew he wasn't talking about my last statement.

"Keep that one to yourself, Jasper Cullen," I said hardening against him. He pulled back, and a small smile played on his lips.

"I'll be your secret keeper."

"IZZY!!! You had better not be fucking Jasper!"

I looked to the house, hidden partial by the trees. I could make out Emmett, standing on the porch shaking his fist in our general direction. I laughed and looked at Jazz who was chuckling and shaking his head.

"Don't ask. Long story Iz."

I dropped my arms, turning towards the house and motioned for Jazz to follow me. He shook his head, stating he needed to hunt before blurring into the trees. I nodded to him, even though he had already disappeared before running full pelt at towards the house. Emmett watched me as I made a beeline towards him, a bemused expression on his face.

Twit, he thinks he knows me now.

I changed my direction slightly, running towards where Emmett had parked his Jeep last night. About a meter from it I leaped, pushing hard off my right foot, and launching myself into the air. My left foot found purchase against the bumper of the Jeep, and I felt my leg muscles instinctively coil in anticipation as I pushed off hard.

"Catch me boofhead."

I spun around quickly before landing bridal style in Emmett's arms. He looked completely impressed and laughed as I kicked my legs out.

"That was some pretty awesome ninja shit right there Izzy."

"What can I say? I'm all kinds of cool."

Emmett snorted before turning and running back inside. He made his way up to Alice's room where the girls were giggling over an article in Rose's hands.

"Lookie what I found? A stray!" he bellowed and dumped me very ungracefully on the bed.

"What did Jazz want?" Alice asked innocently.

Emmett jumped on the bed his hands underneath his chin and his legs cocked at the knee swinging them wildly. He looked like a teenage girl at a sleepover. I snickered.

A teenage girl doing some serious roids.

"Oh nothing just checking if I was upset 'bout the last time we played bite the human."

"And are you?" Rose asked, flinging the magazine to the floor. I rolled my eyes and nodded.

"So you girls going shopping today?" Emmett asked his eyes firmly planted on Rosalie's legs.

Rose giggled and pulled her skirt lower. Emmett groaned and motioned for her to pull it back up. She shook her head and mouthed no at him.

"Yes we are and we need to get ready," Alice said jumping off the bed with the energy of a four year old on red cordial. Emmett didn't move, casually flicking a magazine open. Rose huffed and got up.

"Get out Emmett! We need to get ready," Rose said pulling him off the bed. He started to protest saying that he could judge if our underwear was shop worthy, but Alice gave him a withering look. I think he suddenly feared for his nuts.

Two hours later, after a change of clothes and a fight over which car we were taking (Ro and I trumped Alice and drove Rosalie's pretty BMW) we had finally made it to the mall. I pulled both of them straight into Romero's, and we all started picking out tight leather pants.

"My god, Izzy who thought you would actually enjoy shopping."

I laughed and rolled my hips. "Well when you have a body like this you got to dress to impress."

"That's what I've been trying to tell you," Alice exclaimed.

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, but I was just a stupid little teenage girl back then."

"You were not stupid, Izzy."

'I dated Edward, didn't I?"

Alice bit her lip and turned her attention back to pushing a blue top against me. She shook her head slightly, cramming it back on the rack before grabbing a black one. She smiled triumphantly and handed it to me to try on. I took it and made my way over to the fitting rooms. When I turned around Alice had some how managed to grab seven more items, and she looked at me sheepishly. I smiled and told her to put them on the hooks. She squealed, plopping them on the ottoman and then spinning round to get more clothes.

"You do realize that now you've just doomed your self," Rose said, looking bored.

I shrugged. Six years away from Alice, and I didn't care if she played Barbie Bella for the next decade. I was just happy to be with them again. Besides I actually liked dressing up now as long as it wasn't too girly. I have a line that I do not cross and that line is pink and frilly.

We giggled when Alice came back, and her head was hidden from view due to the astounding amount of clothes she was holding. I grabbed the clothes she had dumped on the ottoman, and made my way in a vacant cubicle. I spent the next hour trying on clothes and begrudgingly allowing Alice to pay for them. I was not destitute, far from it. I only let Alice do this because it made her happy.

After trawling through half a dozen shops we made our way to the lingerie store and got to work. Shopping with Alice was not something to be scoffed at. That girl took it very, very seriously, and I was doing my best to keep up with her and Rose. As soon as we entered I was pushed into one of the changing rooms, and Alice kept flinging bras over the door. Rose was doing everything in her power to slow her down, but every time Ro opened her mouth Alice would shoot her a stare that would melt feathers off a chicken. I refused to get on her bad side so I just smiled nicely and tried on every bra that flew my way. I was currently in the middle of hooking up a black see through bra when I heard the most dreadful scream.

"Oh. My. God. Is that you, Alice Cullen?"

My head snapped up from my reflection, and I turned to look over the door. There in all her Stepford wife glory, was no other than Jessica Stanley. What are the bloody odds? I mean for five years I don't see anyone from Forks aside from that little run in with Lauren Mallory, and now it seems they're all coming out of the woodwork. I quickly put on my own bra and pulled my shirt over my head. As I stepped out of the cubicle I started combing my fingers through my hair.

"Hello Jessica," I said smoothly. Jessica turned slightly, and her jaw dropped. I love that reaction and couldn't stop the chuckle that rolled from my lips.

"Oh my god Bella? Is that you? Look at you. You look, um good." Her eyes trailed up and down me, which caused me to tense up and ball my fists. I hate when people look at you like your less then they are, which was exactly what she was doing. I glanced at Rose, and she shook her head minutely. I took a deep breath and I tried to calm myself down.

"How are you? Where have you been? My mom said you had disappeared after graduation. I went to California and Mike went with me, of course, and well…" she trailed off and she held up her left hand.

There on her ring finger, was the saddest excuse for a wedding ring. I smiled politely which of course set Jessica on a whole new verbal rampage. I nodded every so often as she told me all about her wedding and Mike's new position in whatever shitty company he worked for now. I was beginning to get bored with Jessica, and I decided a little fun wouldn't hurt. I glanced up and noticed that Alice and Rose were subtly moving slowly away from us.

Fine I'll fend for myself shall I?

Jessica hadn't exactly been mean to me in high school. Well she was a gossip queen and snooty brat but she wasn't a bitch. I didn't want to be cruel but I didn't exactly want her thinking we were BFF's.

Time for a little juvenile behaviour, me thinks.

What your a pirate now?

Cool pirates!

Note to self: Emmett is a bad influence.

I hung my head trying to hide the smirk on my mouth, but Jessica didn't seem to notice. I peeked out from under my eyelashes, and sighed loudly interrupting Jessica's incessant rattle.

"Oh well, now that Mike Newton has been snatched up I'm afraid I've lost all hope of finding someone!"

Wow, little Bella Swan rears her shy ass head.

Rosalie was suddenly very interested in the ugly painting on the changing room wall, and I knew she was trying her best not to laugh. Alice was holding up a pair of track pants, her eyes glazed over as she concentrated on our conversation. I doubt she even realized what she was holding, until I raised my eyebrows at her. She gasped and chucked them away from her like they were covered in acid. She looked utterly disgusted with herself. I bit my lip to keep myself from laughing, glancing up at Jessica again before hanging my head. It was obvious that Jessica construed my actions the wrong way, when she reached across and patted my hand.

"Oh, Bella, I always knew you had a crush on Mike but you know you can't blame yourself for letting him slip through your fingers."

Is she serious?

I glanced up to see Jessica's eyes swim with sadness and something else. Pity!?! Jessica Stanley pitied me! It was downright laughable.

Oh my god she did.

Suddenly Alice made a beeline for the door and opened it, yelling over her shoulder, "I need to go to the ladies room." Rose rushed past me mumbling something about too much apple juice.

Oh nice excuse Rose!

I heard their laughter echo from outside, and it took all my will power not to join them. Instead I nodded sadly and tried to look dejected.

After this Izzy, you really need to smack someone.

"You'll find one, Bella. I know you will. Some one just as amazing as Mike."

Oh.

My.

God.

Gag!

"You know, I don't mean to rub it in but he does this thing in bed…"

"Jessica," I cut her off, swallowing the vomit in my mouth. "I think I should go and find Alice and Rose but it was so nice to see you again."

I gave her a quick hug, hoping I could get out of there as fast as possible, before she told me anything nasty about Mike that would scar me for life, and make me want to be a nun. She asked if we could exchange numbers, and I gave her the first number that came in my head. I made a show of punching her number into my phone thinking there was no way in hell I would want to hang out with her again. I waved my goodbye to her and practically sprinted out of the store. I found Alice and Rose sitting on the steps of the fountain holding their sides and giggling like school girls. I scowled as I approached them.

"I can't believe you cows just bailed on me."

"I'm so sorry Iz, but if I'd have stayed I would of spontaneously combusted. "Alice said her head against Rose's shoulder. Rose took a deep breath and looked at me.

"So what number did you give her?"

"Oh, a gay love hotline. They always answer with 'Hello there you big stud. I'm here to please your delicious cock." I lowered my voice for effect, and both the girls gaped at me before erupting into hysterics. I smiled at them, glad that I had given them a good show.

"Can you see Jessica's face when she hears that?" Rose managed in between giggles.

Alice eyes glazed over and then she laughed even harder.

"I can but it's Mike who will call first. He still thinks he has a chance cause your still single."

We all burst out into laughter at the thought of Mike blushing into the phone and making some lame excuse of how he wasn't into pleasing delicious cocks.

"Oh my god can you believe her?" I asked sitting down next to Rose.

"Just think Izzy, you could have had the amazing Mike Newton." I blanched, and Rose grinned at me wickedly. She turned leaned back, and tilted her head up.

"I wonder what is that amazing thing he does in bed?" she mused. Alice and I looked at each other, and I knew that Alice was mirroring my look of disgust.

"Ewww!" we both chimed together, cracking ourselves up again.

"Can you imagine Mike's orgasm face?" Alice giggled then pulled the most disgusting orgasm face and started moaning, "Oh Bella um …uh…I mean Jessica."

Rose and I began howling with laughter. I slid to the ground, tears pouring from my face, while Rose was trying hard not to break off bits of cement from the fountain. People were openly staring at us, but I didn't really care. This was the most fun I've had in a long time. I mean, good, clean, wholesome fun. Suddenly a thought popped into my head.

"Oh my god. Alice you had a vision."

Alice sat stunned for a moment before letting out squeal.

"I did! I so totally did."

I started cursing my pelt for not lasting longer. I mean a day. It had last for one god damn day. Alice was concentrating now and suddenly looked very pissed.

"Well I still can't see you," she said, folding her arms across her chest.

"What? Really?" I said, trying not to sound to hopeful.

"Yeah. I think I saw Newton cause you were not any way involved."

I sighed inwardly, privately promising a baby goat to sacrifice to whichever god had saved my ass. We were silent for a while, all of us lost in our own thoughts. Suddenly I realized that I was the only one lost in my thoughts. Rose and Alice were whispering to each other, too low for me to understand, and I frowned deeply at them. Alice giggled before turning to me. I was surprised that her expression was hard.

"Ok spill."

"Spill what, Alice?" Trying to act innocent was not one of my strong points.

"Don't give us that shit, Swan. You are planning something and we want in." Rose barked.

"Shit." I pouted as I looked from Alice to Rosalie.

"I knew it would be hard to hide my plan from you two evil harpies," I teased, and they both glanced at each other grinning wickedly. I sighed dramatically, and they both eagerly leaned in closer .

"Well, you heard me the first night, how I told Edward I was going to make his life a living hell."

"And?" Alice asked waiting for more.

I shrugged. I hadn't gotten that far yet. I do things on the spur of the moment and so far that had always worked for me.

"You don't know?" Rose screeched, and I shook my head.

"I'm just playing it by ear. Its already torturing him."

"Yes, but you need to up the ante Iz." Alice said, her eyes sparkling. I stared at her.

"But he's your brother, Alice."

"Yeah and I do love him Iz," she sighed and picked some lint of her dress. "but he put us through some fucked up shit, and it's time for some payback."

Rose nodded her head in agreement. My mind went into over drive with the logistic of having the girls on my side. Both Alice and Rose had been married for decades and the both knew how to make their husbands squirm. Why didn't I think of this earlier?

"Ok, so what do you have in mind?"

It really was beautiful watching the two of them laugh manically at each other and then at me. I could see their minds ticking with all the possibilities. Arh! This was going to be so much fun.