EDWARD'S POV

I left. The minute we got home and Izzy disappeared upstairs I ran for it. I didn't want to see Izzy walk away from me again. I knew I was a coward. I made my way to the Denali's, and Eleazar told me that Tanya wouldn't be back for a few days. I asked if I could stay until she got back, and they agreed eagerly. I wasn't much company though since I spent most of my time in Tanya's room sulking. When Tanya finally did arrive I rushed her with a ridiculous amount of information about what had happened since I last saw her.

Tanya stared at me.

"You did WHAT!?!" she screamed at me. I winced and fell onto the small couch in her room.

"I sort of-"

"I know what you did Cullen. God! Are all men fucking idiots."

She paced around her bedroom occasionally stopping and giving me a death stare. I didn't do anything, just watched her. After twenty minutes she huffed and then turned around pointing at me.

"She's hurting, and you decide to goad her. Then you kiss her and fucking go all stalker on her. Now she'll never get her feelings sorted out."

"What do you mean? It's simple isn't it?"

Tanya stared at me like I was the dumbest creature on earth. I sighed and gestured to invisible feelings.

"Hatred, indifference, love done!" I said moving my hands to emphasize my point. Tanya growled at me.

"You fucking twat."

"What?"

"Have you ever considered her other emotions?"

"What other emotions?" I asked. Fuck this was too confusing on the best of days.

"Mmmm let's see. Confusion, doubt, fear, not to mention a million fucking others."

"What?"

"Aaaaaaaarhhhh!!! I do not understand what I saw in you," Tanya screamed as she pulled at her hair. She growled loudly before sucking in a huge breath. As she lowered her hands she sighed and looked at me.

"Okay try to see it from her perspective."

"Okay," I murmured.

"She loves you with her entire being. You mean more than the air she takes in. You're the very energy that holds her together. Then you tell her that you don't love her anymore."

"And I truly hate myself for that," I cut in.

"So you should. So when you leave you take everything that she held sacred in her life."

"Yes, but I did it for her," I argued. Tanya rolled her eyes and then sat down next to me.

"What would have happened if she left you?" she whispered. I shrugged.

"Well she did."

Tanya shook her head. "I mean back then."

I thought back to my old self. I knew immediately what I would have done if she ended it with me.

"Well I would let her go," I said simply. Tanya nodded and then looked me in the eyes.

"And when she died a human death?" she asked. I felt the familiar pang of losing her. To lose Izzy would be disastrous. There was no point in living if she was not breathing the same air as I was. Even if we weren't together.

"I would follow."

"Why?"

I glanced at Tanya. She didn't seem confused by my answer but rather expectant.

"Because life isn't worth living if she isn't in it."

Tanya's honeyed eyes lit up, and I saw victory dance behind them.

"Have you ever considered she felt the same way?"

I froze. She couldn't have the same depth of emotion than I held for her could she? As if answering my silent question Tanya took my hand and stared at me.

"Humans feel more strongly than vampires Edward," she whispered, "because their time is fleeting. They only get a short expanse to truly feel, so it is strong. We have eternity to flush out our wants and needs."

I didn't say anything. I couldn't. It was difficult to wrap my mind around the true depth of Izzy's feeling for me.

"Well you told her you didn't love her. Her world didn't exist. She ceased to exist. She died Edward."

My head snapped up.

"Her heart crumbled into a million pieces, and no one, not even you, could repair the damage. So she grew a new one. A stronger one in the crevice that once held the heart that belonged to you. Despite how she tried to forget, the echoes were there. Bouncing off the sides it grew in its intensity, but they were never more than an echo."

"Tanya?" I asked quietly begging her to stop. This was killing me. How could I have brought down such pain on someone I loved with my entire being? Tanya tightened her grip on my hand and continued.

"And then that echo pushes her to you. Her heart is so strong, so full of hate and power, and she thinks she can withstand you. You should have just let the echo do its work Edward."

Tanya dropped my hand.

"Instead you have to be a complete jerk and try to match her."

Fuck she was right. I was being a cocky ass. Why had I never seen this? I knew she hurt when I left. I knew she thought I didn't love her, but I knew she wasn't ready for me to tell her the truth. If I had she would have ran. She needed to realize her own feelings first.

"What am I going to do Tanya?"

Tanya smiled. "You're going to apologise."

"Um I don't think-"

"Tough luck Cullen," she cut me off. She grabbed me by the ear and twisted. I growled but let her pull me close to her.

"You think I'm going to let you get away with the shit you have pulled. Think again buddy. I have never met Izzy, but already she feels like a sister to me. I am not going to allow her to hurt anymore."

What is with the women in my family?

They are scary, that's what.

She pulled me up, released me and pointed to the door.

"Come on Cullen,"

I marched out my head hung low trying to ignore the snickers Eleazar was attempting to cover up.

Whipped Edward, whipped.

"So are you Eleazar," I snarled, and he froze.

Yeah I am but at least my wife is happy.

"Ever heard of a sucker punch Eleazar?"

He didn't answer, just laughed and shook his head. Tanya led me outside, and I turned to her.

"I'm coming Cullen. Don't want you to tuck tail and run do we?"

I snorted but didn't say anything as we started running back to my home. Tanya remain quiet with the exception of occasionally flinging some names at me for being so dumb and misinterpreting her advice.

"She won't be here," I murmured as we passed our borders.

"You're a moron."

"Why?"

"Because she is here," Tanya said quietly, and she pointed to a little clearing just short of the house. There stood Izzy. She hadn't left. She stayed. I thought I was going to have to hunt her down, but now that she was here I felt uncertain. Tanya pushed me in the back.

"Go twit and don't fuck it up."

I gave Tanya a withering look.

"Izzy?"

Izzy's head snapped up, and she smiled a sad smile.

"Hi Edward," she whispered, and I had to restrain myself from jumping for joy. She wasn't angry with me anymore. We could get past all our crap now. I would have to be very careful in what I said. She was extremely volatile at the moment, and I didn't want to spook her by declaring my undying love for her. We both needed to understand where the other was coming from and what we were both feeling.

Take it slow Edward.

"I thought you left already."

She shook her head. "I can't leave."

My dead heart seemed to burst.

"Esme needs me."

And then popped.

Well what did you expect dickhead?

I shook my head. I needed to focus on doing this, and my brain was not helping.

"Izzy, I need to say something, and you need to listen."

Izzy stood up. Anger flashed in her eyes, and immediately I regretted my choice of words.

Come on man get it together.

"I mean I need to say something, and I would like you to listen."

Izzy tensed for awhile before she nodded her head.

"I I…I," I sighed and ran my hand through my hair. "I love you Izzy. I always have, and I always will."

MORON!!! What happened to taking it slow?

I panicked okay!

Izzy stared at me.

Fix it, fix it, fix it before she runs away.

"I changed for you when you first walked into my life. You became my sun, and I never wanted the darkness again. Then you got hurt, and I couldn't handle seeing you in pain. because of me. Because I was the monster that had led you down the dark path."

Izzy began to interrupt. I silenced her by shaking my head. If she uttered something along the lines of what I knew she would say I would forget everything I needed to say.

"No Izzy let me tell you how it was for me."

"I thought you would be safer in the human world. So I left, and I said the worst thing imaginable. I lied to you, and it nearly broke me when you believed it.

I crumpled to my knees. Izzy gasped. This truly broke me because I hadn't wanted to face this truth. I didn't want to deal with this. Never ever did I want to say these words for fear of what they meant.

"You didn't even fight Izzy. I told you I loved you how many times, and you believed me on one sentence. You didn't fight for me," I murmured looking down at my hands. I tried to stop the sob, but it was out before I could stop it.

I was afraid. I was afraid she didn't love me because she didn't fight for me. For us. It was altogether too easy, and it hurt me more than I care to admit.

"You were so believable," Izzy whispered. I looked up at her. She seemed composed, but I saw her eyes. They were filled with tears she was desperately trying to hide. I broke our gaze, and stared into the forest.

"I'm a vampire Izzy. I have to be good at lying to keep up appearances. You knew I was good, and yet you just laid down and accepted my words. And there I was feeling that you didn't love me enough because you didn't fight. You didn't fight for me."

I sighed and looked into the tree tops.

"Leaving you was one of the hardest things I had ever done. I refused to hunt. I refused to talk or smile. God Izzy do you realize that it has been six years since I smiled or laughed? I hated myself."

"Good!" Izzy snapped. I stood up and rounded on her. Her tears where gone, and once again she was tense, ready to fight me. I wasn't going back down now, not after I had revealed how much she hurt me. I knew I had hurt her, but she had done the same.

"Why do you keep torturing me? I get it okay. I'm a miserable piece of trash who doesn't deserve to live. I don't think you realize that it isn't possible to hate me more than I hate myself. I would kill myself if I had the chance Izzy. I really would. The world might be a better place."

The color drained from Izzy's face, and she stumbled slightly. I sighed and raked my hand through my hair. This was getting us nowhere. We were going round in fucking circles just stabbing wildly at each other.

"I don't care how you play it Izzy. We are both at fault. You didn't fight for me, and I didn't think you were strong enough when clearly you were. I was incredibly selfish, and you were incredibly ignorant. We broke each others hearts in different ways, but that's just it. They are both broken, and we are both in pain."

I took a step towards her and lifted her chin so she was forced to look at me.

"I'm sorry for hurting you, for breaking your spirit, for not respecting you enough."

Izzy closed her eyes, and tears slid down her cheeks. Her hand lifted up, and took my hand that was holding her chin moving it to cup her face.

"I'm sorry for not fighting for us, for just giving up," she whispered.

I brought my other hand up and cupped her other cheek. I used the pads of my thumbs to wipe the tears away. I leant in close, so I was almost touching her lips. Her scent enveloped me, and I felt at home.

"I love you Izzy. There is no world for me without you," I whispered against her lips. She sobbed and opened her eyes.

"I love you too Edward."

I moved my lips faintly over hers. She opened them just enough for her tongue to slip out and lick them. It brushed my own lips, and I sighed. Izzy stared at me her eyes giving me a path into her mind. She loved me as deeply as I loved her. That revelation caused the sun to shine again and the shadows to retreat. My hands moved from her face ghosting her neck, her shoulders, her arms before grabbing onto her hips. I tugged on them gently, pulling her down, and together we both slid to the ground. Her legs splayed over mine and her hands came to rest on my shoulders. I smiled at her, and she returned one to me. It was the first smile she had gifted me with that wasn't filled with contempt, and I wanted to remember it forever.

I played idly with the hem of her tank getting glimpses of her smooth skin underneath it. She did the same with mine, and we both sat in silence going over the last few moments. I looked up at her.

"I've changed again, Izzy."

Izzy frowned and removed her hands from my sides.

"The night you came home with the Bugatti. I ran to Tanya's-"

Izzy hissed. I smiled ruefully and pulled her closer to me. Our faces were level and our bodies were flush with each other. I wrapped my arms around her.

"Only you Izzy. Only ever you," I murmured into her ear. I moved my head down allowing my nose to graze her jaw line and her neck. I inhaled deeply taking her scent into my lungs desperately wanting to hold it within me forever. I laid a soft kiss behind her ear, and I felt her sigh. I pulled back and smiled lazily.

"She helped me realize what I should do. Of course I misconstrued it and started playing your game."

Izzy smirked. "So that's why you were all hot and cold."

I nodded and smiled. "I need you to know Izzy. I've let all of it go. I no longer think of myself as a monster. Only the wanker who can't seem to make things right. I can't hate myself for what I had done Izzy because if I hadn't I wouldn't be here with you on equal footing. Which is what we never had before. Equality."

We were both silent for a while, Izzy pulling her hands gently through my hair, and me purring at the feeling of her hands on me. She giggled and pulled away from me.

"Don't think for a second you're getting Bella back."

I laughed. "I don't want Bella. I want Izzy."

"Slow Edward," Izzy warned me not with her words but with her eyes. I nodded understanding entirely what she meant. We were completely different people now. We needed to get to know each other again not to mention find ourselves. I chuckled, and she cocked her head silently questioning me.

"So Izzy would you like to go on a date with me?"

She laughed, and I marvelled in the sound.

"Okay Cullen, but if you try anything I will break you."

I held up my hands in mock surrender. "Hey I know."

Izzy giggled then looked towards the house. I slowly got up and pulled her gently so she was standing next to me. She sighed heavily and looked at me.

"Alice is angry with both of us."

"Why both of us?" I asked. Izzy giggled.

"Because she wanted to play you as well. She is so reliant on her power that the time was never truly perfect for her plans to go ahead. She hates being so blind. And the fact that you used her to play me."

"Don't forget finding out how I…" I trailed off. To my relief Izzy laughed.

"How you dumped me Cullen?"

I smiled and nodded. I glanced up at the house, and I sighed.

"How angry?" I asked truly freaking out. Izzy patted my hand in a very condescending way, and I raised my eyebrow at her. She smirked.

"Mini typhoon."

"Shit."

I pulled Izzy up and grabbed her hand. At least we would deal with this together. I smiled at the sound of that.

Together.