ELF-chan here with chapter four! There is something that I commonly see in reviews that I wanted to clear up. I really doubt anyone will care that much, but my conscience is really forcing me to, if for no other reason than my own mental gratification. I feel like a terribly inconsistent writer just because of how Kurogane is poorly, poorly portrayed in this fic. I'm not really sure what gave me this really weird idea, but I don't have a logical time-setting for the story. In my mind, I think that in starting it, they are still traveling, but they have been for a very long time. Fai's vampirism hasn't happened, Kurogane isn't terribly injured, some of the key points have been left out in the past of the story, but at the same time, I have the feeling (You read that right. I don't even know what's going on) that they're finished with their initial goal of the journey, and are looking for some slightly unnecessary (not sure, so don't ask) memories for Sakura, and in truth, they're happy with still moving on with each other. Kurogane's so out of character, in my belief, because his relationship with Fai had really seemed to progress, and they've been through so much together for so long that he's beginning to see things in a different light, speaking to him and about him differently, realizing that Fai doubts him when he's not outspoken about his feelings. This was all part of the mindset I needed him to be in to react to Fai's secret in the way that he does. In a way, I think I'm looking at this from an extremely odd point of view, but that's just my perpetually over-analytical mind acting up again. So… again, I'm really not sure that it mattered, but if it helped at all, I'm glad.

Tell Me If I Need To Edit Because I Self Edited -_- I miss things...

So, trying a different technique this time, I decided to have partners and roleplay/co-write. It was fun, interesting, and challenging to work with another who has just a vague idea, but it's so much more raw and real to me, unrehearsed. I hope you guys like!

On another note (I know this note is way too long and half of the readers just skipped to the actual chapter) I was pleasantly surprised at the number of reviewers that know what's wrong with Fai. At this point, you really have to thank my insanely cool brainstorming partners, Kelly/Neko, Nicole/Nezumi, and Alyssa/Yanki. Without them, you'd probably hate this story. So… I had this big scene planned out, but I couldn't write it in this chapter and wait another chapter to let some very insightful people know what Fai's hiding… and reveal the true genre of the story. It would've been cool, but I couldn't wait any more than necessary. Warning for some insane OOCness since I was feeling brave and decided to have one of my co-writers being someone with no Tsubasa knowledge whatsoever. I gave her a crash course, and she was still confused when I mentioned Syaoran. The first half is a little crazier than the second half, and through Kurogane's words, you can so tell that the other writer changed. One swears more. This entire thing was only half-written by me. One quarter of the credit goes to my amazing friend Moryn who has no account, and another quarter goes to my wonderful co-writer of original fics, xxTGIFgurlxx.

Disclaimer: We all know that I'm not cool or talented enough to be CLAMP. Let's face it…

Chappie Warnings: MUCH swearing (you've never seen the F-bomb this many times), a scene of sensuality (Always wanted to use that XD), OMG moments, breakthroughs, sickness, mild violence, attempted deceit, intense arguing, Fai's unexpected dirty-mouthed bad side, and disbelief.

Without further ado, I present the next chapter: Feeling Sick/Unrehearsed Confession

The morning started out perfectly normal. Fai got up and went through his usual morning routine, preparing for their day and whatever it may hold, but after a while, he felt slightly nauseated. It was a passing feeling, but he was still uncomfortable. Fai decided to sit down in case he felt sick again, gently lowering himself onto the armchair in the living room. He looked out the window, only to see Kurogane being interrupted from his training by a small, furry squirrel. He laughed at the flustered look on the ninja's face, thinking of how much he loved the man, not about how much this whole thing could hurt him. Right when Kurogane came to the door after he decided that he'd trained enough for one morning, the sick feeling came back. Lightheaded and dizzy, he quickly shuffled into the hallway towards the bathroom, knowing that the nausea wouldn't go away. His ninja realized the problem and rushed behind him, holding his hair and ushering him in. The magician fell to the toilet and heaved violently.

"It's okay," Kurogane whispered. Unlike some people, he wasn't completely sickened by the situation. He was more worried than disgusted, and feared for Fai's health. He was overcome by a terrible sadness as he saw the mage's face. It was lightly flushed with a thin sheen of sweat, mixing with the tears that were streaming down his face. Kurogane had only seen him like that once before…

But he couldn't think about that. He had to think about now. He helped the magician up and guided him into the bedroom and into bed after cleaning up. Laying the magician down, he placed a chaste kiss upon his forehead. The magician's eyes opened wide as he leaned over the bed and heaved once more, luckily into the garbage can. The ninja looked at him with sad eyes at seeing the man he loved more than anything else in pain.

A wave of feelings washed over Fai in the midst of his agony. What was he supposed to tell his lover? And when would the sickness and terror end? He dug his fingernails into his own skin, crying even harder, willing himself to stop. When Fai was absolutely sure he was finished, he turned to look at Kurogane after cleaning his own mouth. "I think I might be catching a kind of stomach flu," he said softly. Kurogane didn't reply: he just leaned in and kissed Fai hard and passionately on his tender pink lips. Fai kissed back for a few split seconds before realizing what his excuse meant. He pulled away.

"Kurogane, I'm sick! I can't let you do that to yourself, okay? It's nothing personal, but kami!" With that, the slender blonde scurried into the bathroom, in a rush to clean up yet again. Kurogane's spirits fell even lower. They shouldn't have done it. It had ruined everything. Had it really hurt Fai that much?

In the bathroom, Fai couldn't bring himself to look at his cursed reflection in the mirror. How could he have done that to the man he loved? Wasn't he supposed to be honest? Why was he so afraid to tell? But he already knew. Because he loved Kurogane with every fiber of his being, and he didn't want to lose him. Maybe he'd just have to let him go…

Kurogane stood outside the door, waiting for Fai when he heard a muffled sob. Kurogane cautiously opened the door. "Fai?"

"What?" He answered sharply. 'If I'm going to save him, I might as well get it over with now…' he thought. "Kurogane… I'm sorry, but there's something… wrong. I-"

"I know, and I'm sorry. Look, before you, I'd never been… with… another guy before. I didn't know it'd hurt you that much, damnit! Did you? You sure as hell could've stopped me. I don't… I don't like it when you're hurt… okay? Not at all…" Fai looks at Kurogane in disbelief. The ninja thought that he was the reason for the magician's pain. But, in the end, it was a great escape… Fai decided to go along with the ninja's misconception.

"It's okay, Kuro-chuu. Are you mad at me?" Fai asked.

"What?! Why would I be mad?!"

"I don't know, Kurotan, sometimes I don't know how you feel about me. You're always so grumpy…" Fai trailed off, his face falling. Kurogane looked at Fai, lost for words. How could he respond to something like that?

"Fai, how do you… how do you not know… how I feel?" His red eyes are confused, searching the mage's for an answer. Fai took a deep breath, composing himself, composing his reasoning, not knowing how to say exactly what was going through his head.

"Well… I don't know. Sometimes you're so sweet and other times you're begging me to leave… do you really love me?" Tears stung at the blonde's eyes as he spoke, threatening to spill over. "I mean, what if something big happens? I don't know if you'd stay with me or just shove me away." Fai thanked his lucky stars that Sakura and Syaoran weren't around.

"Fai, I love you. I can't believe I have to tell you, that you don't already know. And I promise you that I will never shove you away. I'll go through everything with and for you…" The ninja stepped forward toward the magician with open arms.

Fai blinked, stunned at the ninja voicing his emotions so openly, making such a moving, genuine speech. Salty tears ran freely down his face, and his lover held him close. Tan hands weaved through shining blonde hair, and he cradled Fai's head into his own chest, bringing a sense of protection and security. He felt the mage pull himself even closer, encircling his waist with lanky arms.

With a renewed sense of confidence, Kurogane led Fai's face to his own, kissing away his crystalline tears before pressing a tender kiss to his lips. "I love you," whispered the ninja against Fai's lips.

"I love you too," Fai replied softly.

"So, are you feeling better or worse?" Kurogane asked before claiming Fai's mouth in a kiss of pure passion. It was fervent, primal, yet it somehow expressed how they needed one another.

"Better." Fai kissed his ninja back with the same amount of urgency. "Much better."

Their kiss built in intensity with each passing moment, both of them feeling lightheaded as the seconds ticked away. Kurogane was the first to pull away, and he did so strongly. He had a purpose.

"I don't want to hurt you again," he said with finality. Fai could see that his lover was using all of his willpower not to continue what he had started. Then, Kurogane saw the look in Fai's eyes, breaking his heart, taunting him. His blonde hair was disheveled, his face flushed.

Kurogane closed his eyes, trying to strengthen his resolve, and whispered once more, "I can't hurt you, damnit!" He couldn't look at the man until the temptation passed. His eyes were still closed when Fai muttered "It all feels good," before stealing away Kurogane's determination by kissing him forcefully, sending them both into undeniable bliss. Kurogane locked his hands into the magician's blonde hair, pulling Fai's face closer to his, at the same time as Fai grabbed his waist and made their bodies one. The two stumbled through the house, edging ever closer to their shared bedroom. Outside the door, Kurogane pinned Fai against the wall. Surprisingly, Fai took control, swiftly and powerfully switching their positions so that Kurogane was trapped. Fai pulled the raven-haired man into the room, only to let Kurogane take control again, gently laying Fai on the bed in contrast to their rough contact. Both of their minds were in a lustful haze, Fai's thoroughly clouding his mind, messing with his judgment. The only thing on their minds was what was happening in the now. Clothes were shed, and many sweet sighs and low moans were heard. Kisses grew needier, leaving them pulling away, gasping for air, only to latch back together. Just when it was about to happen, Fai placed his small hand on Kurogane's broad, muscular chest.

"Kur-Kuro-pii... S-st-stop..." Fai struggled to get out.

"Come on, Fai... Don't worry," Kurogane coaxed," Everything will be ok."

"No, stop. Now," he said more firmly at Kurogane's hesitant response. "I-I-...I'm just not ready…" Kurogane looked at him, an undeniably confused and lustful look in his eyes. "I, I can't, okay?! Plus I'm friggin pregnant!" Fai exclaimed.

Fai's eyes opened wide, his mouth forming into a grim line of horror. He'd said it. That was it. No Warning, no leading up to it, he'd just...said it. Kurogane's expression mirrored the magician's. The huge orbs of his scarlet eyes shone with amazing light.

"Kurogane, I'm...I'm sorry. I never meant for it to happen. I didn't even know it could, and I just... I can't..." Tears falling rapidly down his anguished face, he muttered unintelligibly, trying to figure out what to say.

Kurogane got off of Fai. "So... That's it? You're gonna tease me for 10 minutes, and then just stop when right before we got too far?" Kurogane's voice rose. "Kuro-pii, look I'm sorry but-" Fair was cut off by Kurogane. "No, shut it. Look I know you're scared and I know I shouldn't be this furious but you can't just do that. No I don't just want you for the sex, and I'm sorry for what happened before. I really am. But can't we just have this moment..." Kurogane looked pleadingly at Fai, hoping he'd budge. He didn't want to be doing this to him, but he was too 'excited' to back down now. Waiting for what seemed like an eternity, Fai finally answered.

"Kurogane...what are you saying? Did you hear me at all?"

"Yes. I did. But you can't deny that you don't want to! You normally wouldn't go this far and not do anything. So why the hell start now?!" Furious, Kurogane got off the bed and started getting dressed. He had enough of arguing. Though this was just the beginning.

"What the FUCK?! Kurogane, do you want to kill it? Seriously, you think you might care considering it's your fucking kid, smart-ass!" He sat straight up, looking after the ninja in disbelief. Fai didn't know what he was about to do. But he knew there was no turning back. "You're claiming to not want me for sex, but your actions prove otherwise. What if the baby gets hurt or is diagnosed with some physical condition! Who's to blame for that? 'Cause I know I'm not! It's your fucking dick in my fucking ass. I'd say that'd make YOU fucking responsible!!!" Saying Fai was furious would be the understatement of the year. Words could not describe how he was feeling. Plus the pregnancy hormones added on. Kurogane looked on in utter disbelief... Then he got that glint in his eye...

With that, there were two words in the ninja's mind. Fuck. No. "What the fuck are you trying to fucking say? Mage, you are NOT fucking pregnant. Goddamn it, it's not possible. That shit is NOT happening to your body. And second, after the conversation we just got fucking finished having, you still think I'm fucking keeping your ass with me for sex? What kind of dumbass are you? I told you that I would go through everything, with you and for you. You're the one who's not fucking listening so I am NOT putting up with this bullshit," he raged.

That sent Fai off the edge. The only thing he could reach was a glass vase by the bedside. That should do, Fai thought. Without thinking through, Fai pelted the vase towards Kurogane, precisely aiming for his face. Luckily for Kurogane, he ducked. "WHAT THE FUCKING HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?! ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE?!?!?" Kurogane was slightly nervous, but he wouldn't show it.

"DON'T YOU FUCKING GIVE ME THAT SHIT! YOU SERIOUSLY THINK I'M NOT PREGNANT?? DOES THAT GET YOU THROUGH THE DAY OR SOMETHING?!? AND IF YOU WERE FUCKING TRUE TO YOUR WORD, WE WOULDN'T BE HAVING THIS FIGHT RIGHT NOW AND YOU'D BE UNDERSTANDING FOR MY NEEDS-" Fai suddenly cracked, and started crying.

Kurogane took several deep breaths, trying extremely hard to calm down. Fai had been crying a lot, but that didn't mean he was pregnant. His hormones would be insane, so he'd have to be moody and... Kurogane quickly moved to his next point. Well, he'd be getting bigger and gaining weight, so... The ninja remembered the clothes from the mall, how he'd been refusing to eat. And the flu… He finally cracked. "STOMACH FLU?! WHAT THE HELL? YOU HAD FUCKING MORNING SICKNESS? HOW FUCKING INSANE ARE YOU? WHY THE HELL DIDN'T YOU TELL ME SOONER?! AND IT'S... wait... it's...mine?" Kurogane's eyes widened once more, realization flashing across his face. "That's what you meant when you said 'If something big happens'? You thought...you thought I was gonna leave?"

Fai took a deep breath before answering. "Of course it's your kid, you dickhead. That's part of the reason I was worried you were gonna leave. As much as you said you would be by my side through whatever, I still had... doubts... about you..." Fai had completely calmed down from crying, but he was worried what Kurogane would say.

Kurogane was just blindsided. He could not think of one good reason the mage would doubt him... EVER. "...Why...? What would make you even consider doubting me?" Kurogane slowly realized, he knew what the answer might be, but was just afraid of hearing it.

In the recesses of Fai's mind, the pregnant magician was laughing hysterically. How could he not know? All of his reasons were blatantly obvious. "You're constantly talking about how much I piss you off, and you probably weren't expecting a kid with me. Well, no, I'm positive that you weren't expecting kids. And… I'm pretty sure you'd leave me in a second for your princess, too. And sometimes, I… I don't always know if I can trust that you're gay…" he trailed off, sounding so unsure that his reason lingered in the air sounding more like a question.

Kurogane sighed deeply. He knew he was right, although he didn't want to admit it. "Fai, we both know you're right. And all I can say is that I'm honestly, terribly sorry if y- no, that you were hurt that I was always pissed at you. You of all people know I don't show my emotions easily, so that's really the only reason I lash out on you. And there's no way in hell I would go after Tomoyo now. Because I love you more than anything. And honestly, I'm not all for males, but I'm not all for females either. I'm still between the two. I should've told you from the beginning but you and everyone else were just so proud that I "came out". I'm sorry but I'm bi and you're just gonna have to deal with it. I don't know for how long... If you can even put a limit on that, but I do know that I love you and that I never want to hurt you again."

"Look, I know. And I understand, but just so you know, I really don't care about your sexuality. At all. It's a miracle that you love me at all, so..." Fai attempted to choke back his tears unsuccessfully. They began to fall down his face, the tiny rivulets gleaming as they went over his prominent cheekbones. "And I was always proud. Even before I knew exactly how I felt about you," he continued, his voice thick.

Kurogane slowly walked over to Fai and began wiping his tears away. "Look, don't cry. And it's not a miracle that I love you..." The ninja inwardly cursed himself. He couldn't believe he was getting this mushy. "... It was… meant to be..."

Of course, thanks to the pregnancy hormones, Fai shuddered violently, sobbing. He pulled himself towards the ninja, hugging him close, willing the tears to stop flowing. "I'm sorry. I'm just so...pathetic. You don't have to stay with me. I just...I don't know..."

"I'd be a damn fool not to stay with you. You're just weighed down with all the pregnancy hormones. Here, let's just lay down and relax for a bit, ok?" Kurogane felt bad that Fai was upset, and he couldn't take this conversation anymore.

"Ok." Fai responded. So they went over to the bed and Fai cuddled into Kurogane. A moment passed and Fai began to talk. "And Kuro-pii I just wanna sa-"

"Fai," he interrupted, "don't ruin the moment, okay? Just relax. We both could use it," Kurogane pointed out. Fai simply nodded and enjoyed the much-needed moment with Kurogane. They both reflected on the recent arguement. Seeing they had flaws of their own, they made it a personal goal to fix that side of them, wanting nothing more than to be perfect for their loved one. With that Kurogane and Fai dozed of to sleep. The fight was a big one, one of the biggest they've had so far. They hoped to not go through something like that again... Hoped being the key word...

End A/N:

So, lovely people who somehow haven't given up on me (or the story), was it worth the wait? Yeah right, I know it wasn't, nothing is worth waiting that long, but Happy New Year! This update gave me hope and the writer's block has left finally. And I focused… I have this fuzzy black notebook where I write things for bandom to put on LiveJournal, and it's been getting ever last fiber of my attention (along with my relationship problems, but they have been resolved and I'M IN LOVE!) so, if you like updates, make sure you tell INK-chan (InsaneNekoKitty) to threaten to steal things/ stab me with a pen more often. It's a good motivator.

On a more on-topic note, Fai is pregnant! Yes, most of you say it coming (but honestly, in reply to a comment, I REALLY WANT FAI TO HAVE A BABY DRAGON NOW!) And yes, that's been stuck in my head, and I went and watched Eragon after reading that… So, yes! Pregnant Fai! And Kurogane is supportive! And all is right with the world… at the moment. Heh, I received a particularly inspirational visit from the demonic plot bunnies of Angstland, and we most likely have a storm coming in.

THANKS FOR THIS CHAPTER: INK-chan and her threats, xxTGIFgurlxx, Moryn, Natalie!, and most importantly the readers that deserve way better than me and/or anything I can give. You make posts worth it, and you're my inspiration when the bunnies are away and shunning me.

Ending Question: It's obligatory that I ask because it's my obsession lately, so… any Kirk/Spock fics you guys want to recommend? HAHA, I know, I'm such a nerd *shameless nerd at that* but honestly, you can do some serious damage or impacting with a fic like that… I should know, I've read a lot lately XD

Flame me, I deserve it after all this time! Although nice reviews will make me smile THIIIIIIIIS much!

~~ELF-chan