Disclaimer; Nothing in this fic belongs to me, They belong to J.K Rowling. Only Jessica belongs to me, partly.
Chapter Seven; To Answer Your Question, Miss Potter.
When Jessica regained consciousness again she couldn't hear anything. There was only silence in her head. She wondered if she had died, she had come to a paradise they say come after death. Where she was lying it was soft and comfortable, but also uncomfortable in a way. She half sat up, like she was leaning toward someone, or had many pillows under her head and back.
Suddenly she heard a few loud whispers. Then came a giggle. Annoyed by the sound she turned a little. Her eyes were still closed. There was a thump, like someone dropping something onto a hard ground. She felt her pillow shift underneath her, her... very hard pillow.
It was then she realized that she must be having someone underneath her, because over her front and her shoulders were an arm. Like an embrace, holding her to her place.
Her eyes were still closed. Her eyelids heavy, her mind was sleepy, like she had just woken up from a long sleep. The unknown person underneath her, sat up, which also meant that her body were straight. The person behind her lowered his head and whispered into her ear, softly.
"Jessica, wake up... we're here." The voice was so soft, like an angel's voice. After a while she realized whose voice it was, it belonged to Sirius, the younger version of him. Not to the 34 year-old version who had been in Azkaban for 12 years.
Her eyes snapped open. She weren't in the hospital wing like she had thought. She looked to be in one of the compartments in the Hogwarts express. Confused she sat up, looking around. Why was she here of all the places, had she been out that long?
She looked at the people on the other side of the compartment.
Looking curiously up at her with a book in his lap were Remus, but not the Remus she remembered, because last she saw him, he were 34 and running into the woods as a werewolf. He said something to her, but her mind couldn't seem to register what. To his left, buried in a copy of "The Teen Witch", a girl sat. The platinum blonde hair visible over the top, the girl let out another giggle, but this time it was more of an evil giggle. The only person in the world who could find a gossip magazine so funny was Pricilla, but how she found them funny, Jessica had no clue.
To his other side, standing high up, his back turned toward Jessica, left foot on the window sill and the other hanging out in the open. He was using his left arm to remain high, up on the luggage rack, his head almost touching the ceiling. Up there he was rummaging through the things up there, as if trying to find something. He must have been the one who threw down something onto the ground, because under him on the ground a bag lay.
"Jessica, are you okay?" Remus voice interrupted her.
She turned her eyes back to him. She noticed now that they were moving, but the train weren't just moving, it was slowing down. She also noticed the darkness outside. And the glistering snow.
It was in that exact moment it hit her, it must all have been a dream, a weird and vivid dream, but just a dream.
"Yeah, I'm fine." She said, but her voice sounded rather stiffly.
But Remus seemed to fine with this answer, because he returned to his book.
Jessica also remembered that there was a person behind her, with a sudden haste she turned around to that person. It was Sirius. He was smiling at her.
Jessica didn't linger her eyes with him, she sat up straight and pulled her hair out of her face. She felt a tad confused. But that feeling soon faded.
A loud noise came as the person closest to the window jumped back down to the ground, making everyone stare at him.
"Finally, you're awake, sleeping beauty." James said grinning widely. "You have been out the whole trip."
Seeing the face of her twin brother made Jessica forget to breathe for a short moment, she just stared at him.
"Are you alright?" He asked, concern written over his face.
"Yeah, I... I just had a very weird dream that's all." Jessica answered; she felt how Sirius was sitting up straight behind her. All of a sudden Jessica stood up, closed the space between them and pulled him into a hug.
"Oh." James said, taken by surprise by the hug. His body were stiff.
"I love you James." She whispered to him, low so that only he could hear.
James smiled and felt his body get more relaxed, and hugged his sister back. "I love you too Jess." He whispered back.
Jessica pulled back and James could see the tears welling up in her eyes.
"That must have been one hell of a scary dream." James said to her with the usual grin on his face, trying to lighten the mood.
"You weren't in it." Jessica answered. And turned back to Sirius and where he sat.
Everyone in the compartment had been watching Jessica and James hug, all of them wondering what had gotten into Jessica. But as soon as Jessica turned away they stood up and started to take down their stuff. Pretending that they hadn't been looking.
The train were now completely still and outside their compartment students started to fill up the space.
Sirius handed Jessica her hand bag and helped her with the trunk, it was then she first noticed that someone were missing.
"Where's Peter?" She asked to no one in particular.
"He's still at home; His mum said that he caught a pretty nasty cold last night" Remus explained once he had taken down his own trunk. "She didn't feel safe sending him away while he was feeling sick."
"Okay." Jessica answered.
The chatting in this very compartment continued, Jessica just didn't listen, she honestly felt a little better with knowing the fact that she didn't have to face him right away, she knew that it was just a dream, but it felt so real.
The first one to leave the compartment were James, next went Sirius, but on his way he tried to take Jessica's hand into his own so that she would go after him. But his hand got smashed away by Pricilla.
"This hand is mine tonight," She said to him seriously. "And whenever I want it to."
She had always been the one to take this whole "best of girlfriends" thing very seriously.
Sirius smirked back at her as if he had some smart reply, but didn't say anything; he only turned around and walked after James.
"You must have had a really weird dream, tell me about it?" Pricilla said as they had come out of the train.
"It was a future dream." Jessica answered.
"Oh," Pricilla said, now excited. "I was married to a gelleonaire right?" it had always been her ambition had always been to marry rich, even though she came from a rich family herself.
"Nope, you were dead."
Pricilla's happiness faded. "You're right, that was a sucky dream."
Jessica smiled; she was so happy that it turned out to be just a dream. "James was also dead, only leaving a son behind, Sirius was in Azkaban and Remus... he had become a Defence against the Dark Arts teacher."
Pricilla laughed. "Your mind works in mysterious ways sometimes."
"Tell me about it." Jessica answered, joining Pricilla's laugh, but not being able to shake off that horrible feeling she had ever since she woke up.
Soon Jessica forgot about the dream, like people so often do, every now and then did she find herself having that déjà-vu feeling, but often shook it off.
XXX
Her relationship with Sirius was more noticeable this term than last, mostly because they didn't have to sneak around with it so much more. But it showed on Sirius that he was uncomfortable with being close to Jessica when James was nearby. Jessica reckoned that it was probably this whole "Big brother watching thing".
Almost everyone seemed to have an opinion about the fact that Sirius was going out with his best friend's sister. Even the teachers, but the strangest encounter she had with someone who had her and Sirius's relationship on his mind were with Junior.
Barty Crouch Junior, named after his father and nick named Junior. He had problem with transfiguration in his fifth year, Jessica, who were one year older than him, helped him. They had been friends ever since. Sure they had known each other when they were younger, with this whole, parents working at the ministry thing.
They were sitting on the couch in the Gryffindor Common room late one night two weeks after arriving to Hogwarts.
"I just thought I'd tell you that I'm completely fine with the whole you and him thing..." He said, as he said this he didn't look at her, but staring constantly into the fireplace. "You should know that some people might pass judgement on the two of you... But I won't because I think... that you're great." He finished and looked up at her briefly before looking down again.
Jessica smiled this, she didn't know how he did it, but sometimes he was just so darn cute. She put one of her arms around his neck and pulled him closer so that she could place a kiss on his cheek, making it go scarlet afterwards.
"You are a great person Junior," She smiled and collected her stuff. "Any girl would be happy to have you." She added and left the couch.
"But unfortunately not the right one." He muttered to himself as he watched her leave.
But it was a very much long time later when she saw something about him that worried her a little. It was only two days until the first exam was about to take place and Jessica were putting back a book into the shelf since she didn't need that book anymore. She looked toward one of the study tables at that moment and saw Junior sitting there, leaning forward and taking to no other than Sirius's little brother Regulus. They seemed to be in a very deep and serious conversation.
Her eyes lingered at him for a few seconds; she wondered why he was talking to Regulus? Regulus had the rumour around him that he had joined the unknown evil leader rising in the country.
About this evil leader not so much were said, it was mostly whispers. Nobody spoke out aloud about whoever the leader was. As if they were afraid of him.
The relationship of James and Lily took a real start this year as well; it was slightly before valentine, only a day or two. Jessica knew that James was going to ask Lily to the Hogsmeade trip on Valentine's Day. And since this was their very last year of Hogwarts and James last chance of ever asking Lily, Jessica saw that it was her responsibility to make sure that that happened.
It was during potions, the only one of the marauders who took on potions was Remus and Jessica saw this as her chance to speak to Lily without James ever finding out.
"So, Valentine's coming up." Jessica said as she stirred her potion.
"Yeah, this weekend." Lily nodded.
"So... You have a date yet?" Jessica continued trying to sound casual. "To Hogsmeade?"
Lily looked at Jessica, she knew where this was going, and it made her smile slightly. "No, I don't..." She answered.
"Oh, that's too bad..." Jessica said, not lifting her eyes to meet Lily's. "You can always go with James..."
Lily didn't answer to that.
Jessica looked up at her now, wondering why she didn't respond. "You know, only one date, he's a great guy if you get to know him... I promise." Jessica took the chance to speak her mind then she waited for Lily to respond. "He's a male me after all."
Lily took a deep breath and let it out before answering. "I'll think about it." She said casually as if they were talking about potion ingredients.
"Yay!" Jessica exclaimed loudly and happily in the classroom. Making everybody look at her. "Sorry!" She added and still couldn't help but smile, her eyes moved back to Lily and she saw that even the redhead smiled.
The next day James asked Lily to a date on Valentine, and she said yes.
They went on a date and that date became two dates, and after that they were in a relationship. Spending so much time together, spending all of their time together.
And as their relationship blossomed, another one withered.
"It just didn't work out." Jessica told James the night after she and Sirius had broken up, the two of them, sat alone in the head common room. It was rather late and the only light came from the fireplace in front of them.
"Okay," James said taking in the news.
"Don't hate him; it's just as much my fault that it didn't work out as well." Jessica said, she didn't want her brother to lose his best friend.
"How can't I?" James asked her, looking at her with concern. "I feel like I have to choose between you and him."
"You don't have to," She promised him. "Sirius and I had a conversation about where we were going and we decided that breaking up were the best option."
"So you are friends?" James looked at her bewildered.
"Yes." Jessica answered. "We just haven't developed any feelings toward each other, I don't love him and he doesn't love me." She smiled at him, this wasn't actually what happened.
Jessica had told Sirius that she loved him, because she really did love him. But he just started to act strange, so she broke up with him after he had been acting strange for a few weeks, saying that it was better that way, for everyone. He had just nodded and agreed with her. The funny thing was that he had never responded to her confession, he never said that he didn't love her, but he never say that he did either.
Everyone in the Gryffindor class ended school with good grades, even Peter. Both Alice and Jessica got enough N.E.W.T's to hunt down their dream to become an Auror. But before they started in the auror programme, something horrible and unexpected happened to the Potter family. Henry Potter, the father of James and Jessica died of a heart condition.
The funeral happened in the middle of August; it was a beautiful privet ceremony with many guests, Henry Potter was a great person in his days and made so many people grieve for him. Both Jessica and James didn't even know half of all the people who came, but they all knew their father Henry.
With James have moved in with Lily a few weeks before, and Sirius moving to a flat in London, only Jessica remained home with their mother, Lorelai Potter, while she went through the auror programme.
Like both Alice and Jessica's goal had been from the beginning, they made a perfect success with their training. In January of 1979, Kingsley Shacklebolt, who worked with Frank, approached them about an Organisation called the Order of the Phoenix.
The Order had been founded by Dumbledore and its goal was to fight the Dark Leader, whose name now was out in the open, Voldemort, but people were to afraid to speak his name. The organisation was absolutely secret and formed beyond the ministry and the authorities. It was standing alone and if joining this, you didn't have any special restrains or rules to follow. This organisation fought the evil side like they did; dirty, merciless and unfair.
Kingsley told them as well that he recommended that the two of them to Dumbledore and he had said that Kingsley could tell them about this Organisation, that they were trust worthy. At the time were the organisation still new and only had a handful of members. Before a new member was to be told about this organisation they had to be valued by every member before you could approach them.
Jessica and Alice joined almost directly, Alice doubted at first but then changed her mind when she heard that Frank were a member. The two of them had already started noticing each other.
Within the next two months had the number of members almost doubled. With James, Lily, Sirius, Remus, Pricilla and Peter. They had joined because they were willing to make this world a better place, and they were willing to do whatever it took for the cause.
Ever since school ended had Jessica tried her best to avoid Sirius, it just became awkward every time they were together. She still loved him, but as more time passed she became sure that he didn't love her at all. Every time she saw him he was with somebody else, somebody new and it felt like a stab in the heart every time she saw him hold hands with that person, touch that person, kissing that person.
During the years after school did Jessica witness three weddings; the first out was James and Lily.
They had a small wedding in November 1978; Jessica had very fun guessing what the cause of urgency was. Because when James had told his mum and sister that he and Lily were getting married, he said; "I proposed to Lily two nights ago and we're getting married two weeks from this Saturday."
And so they got married, the wedding was small with only family and close friends there. Jessica were truly happy for her brother, in the beginning had she never really like Lily Evans, but with the years had learned to love her, now, sister-in-law.
The second wedding happened September of -79, and this time between Alice and Frank. Nobody had really seen it coming, their relationship had never really been out in the public, but they did love each other. The wedding was absolutely beautiful and slightly bigger than James and Lily's.
The third one was Jessica's, and with a groom you could never have guessed it would be.
As Jessica continued living at home with her mother in their very big house, she spent most of her free time accompanying her mother to different social events and tea parties. She had been raised by her mother to become a lady of the society, and she didn't want to disappoint her mother by not becoming one, disappointing her mother was one of her most weak spots, one of the things that would upset her the most.
Anyways, at most of these events she found herself spending more and more time with Robert Rutland, someone she had never really liked when she grew up. But as more time she spent near and with him, she started to like him, she started to like his company, and all of a sudden, she had fallen for him. She was in love.
She had told him about her feelings and they had started to date, and everything about them was so right. And soon they got engaged and set to get married.
James was very confused and slightly upset when he found that his sister were getting married to no one else than Robert Rutland. According to him did she hate him, at least last time he checked. But Jessica explained it all to him, that sometimes you fall for the person you least expect to. Even Lily helped Jessica convince him; because Lily and James marriage was a perfect example of how your feelings could suddenly change for a person, the one you could least expect it to.
This wedding was set to be the big one, Jessica's hand in the planning was minimal to none-existing and she was fine with that. The guest list was long, it seemed to be over a hundred guests and Jessica barely knew who half of them were. She would have wanted a small wedding, like James and Lily, but when you were marrying a Rutland... nothing could ever be small, it had to be big and extreme.
The wedding was set to be at the end of June 1980. Two days before the wedding were a bachelorette party planned. It was held at the Maid of honour's, Pricilla's, flat in London. They couldn't go out to a club or something like that since both Lily and Alice were heavily pregnant at the time. Both of their due dates were only three days apart in the end of July.
Lily and James knew the sex of their baby; they were going to have a girl. Alice and Frank had decided not to know until the baby were born, keeping it a secret. But Alice said she had "The feeling" that it was a boy. ("I hope it's a boy... or a girl.")
Even though Alice and Lily couldn't drink, it didn't mean that Pricilla and Jessica didn't drink, they drank, and quite a lot they drank. Except from the drinking the girls were talking, and playing silly games, like "Family". A muggle game, a stupid muggle game according to Jessica.
"So..." Alice said a disgusted expression on her face, they had given up on the "Family" game after it was stated that Lily would be a terrible mum. "You and Sirius... In our dorm, when the rest of us were sleeping...?"
Jessica smiled and drank more out of her drink before answering. "Oh yeah, like bunnies." She laughed. She felt really drunk and the fact that she was telling them this was a proof of that fact, she never would have spilled this information if she were sober.
"Ew." Alice said with a weird expression. "I didn't need to know that."
Pricilla, who were just as drunk as Jessica, laughed. "And the two of you were wondering why I slept with ear plugs."
Jessica joined her laugh. "To be honest, it only happened once and it was quite awkward."
"So how is he," Alice asked with a curious expression. "You know, bed wise?"
"He's..." Jessica answered, not really knowing what word to use. "The best experience I have ever had."
But suddenly the smile faded from her face and she started crying, completely surprising the other three girls.
"Oh Jessica." Lily, who sat closest to Jessica, said and pulled her into a tight hug. "What's wrong honey?" Proving right there that she would be a wonderful mum.
"Why can't he love me?" Jessica responded, still crying.
"Who are you talking about, do you mean Robert?" Lily asked confused.
"No, I mean him, Sirius, he doesn't love me?"
Lily released Jessica from the hug, smiling at her.
Next one to hug Jessica were Pricilla, it was just a one armed hug while Pricilla said. "You don't need him; He's an idiot while Robert is the real deal."
Later that night Jessica regretted a little telling them, she looked at the sleeping Pricilla next to her; she turned back her eyes up to the ceiling. How many people could actually control what they were saying when they were drunk?
"Are you sure about this, the whole wedding thing?" Apparently hadn't Pricilla been sleeping, because she was the one saying this.
Jessica nodded. "Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"
"I just... I was just wondering." Pricilla said. "I'm your best friend after all; I'm supposed to make sure that you never do any mistakes."
Jessica smiled at her best friends concern. "The only mistake I ever did was when I started dating Sirius Black."
Two days later she did get married. With that way to big wedding. All the doubt she might have had before all faded away when she stood in front of the minister making those vows.
In the end of July two babies were born.
First came Alice and Frank's little son, whom they named Neville, the cutest little boy Jessica had ever laid her eyes on.
Three days later came Lily and James little baby. After the delivery was both Jessica and the newly made grandmother allowed to see the little one, they were in for a surprise.
"Why does she have a blue blanket?" Jessica asked confused when she saw the little baby in her brother's arms.
James smiled and briefly looked at his wife before answering. "It's not a she... It's a he."
"Your daughter is a boy?" Jessica asked stunned as James handed over the baby to Lorelai Potter. Then she burst into laughter. "Now you have to redecorate the baby room."
Lily and James had decorated the baby room in 90 percent of pink stuff; they were so certain that this little baby would turn out to be a girl. Apparently these newly invented "Ultrasounds" weren't so trustworthy after all.
"Do you have a name yet?" Jessica asked a few minutes later once she was holding her little nephew.
"Yeah, we were thinking Harry." James said proudly.
Jessica looked up at him instantly, feeling a slight Déjà-vu feeling about just this name.
"Something wrong with the name?" Lily asked, concerned. It was obvious that she had grown attached to the name.
"No..." Jessica shook her head. "It's like after dad right, sort of like it?" She regained her smile and looked up at her brother.
"Yeah, sort of like dad." James answered still smiling.
"He's absolutely beautiful." Jessica said. "He's going to do great things in his life."
XXX
After she got married Jessica didn't need to work, and she stopped, mostly because of the fact that it was expected of her. She had been raised to the life where a witch grew up, went to school, got married and became a perfect little house wife, who took care of the household, the family and the family's social life. After the wedding, she and Robert moved to a town house in one of London's most posh Wizarding suburbs. Jessica filled her now empty days with decorating the house and dealing with the garden.
She was still a member of the Order of the Phoenix; she still went so meetings and such. She never told Robert about the Order, she didn't know why though, she guessed that she probably didn't feel like he was trustworthy. Kingsley actually told her how unfortunate it was that she had stopped working. "It's sad to see someone as powerful and talented as you be restrained and tied down by something as simple as being a housewife" he said to her.
But just the fact that she was married didn't meant that she couldn't be useful, on the other hand the situation was reversed, she was now more useful that they might imagined. Dumbledore had suspicion that Voldemort had a few spies inside the ministry and that they were mixing with a lot of paper and certain important people. And since Dumbledore didn't have any people in the higher ranks of the ministry was the fact that Jessica was married to the son of one of the few most important men at the ministry, and this also meant that Robert had access to almost everything, and Jessica had access to Robert.
So one day Jessica made sure that her husband was in such a hurry that he forgot his lunch, and then Jessica went to the ministry and told his secretary, who knew who Jessica was, that she needed access to Roberts's office to leave his lunch there. And once she was in there she spent her limited time to rummage through the papers in his drawers that might be important to the Order. Dumbledore had told her that he believed that one of the spies were no one else than Lucius Malfoy. Jessica knew who that was; he had been in his last year when Jessica had been in her first.
She did find some papers that might be of importance to the Order. She made a copy and put back the original, and later when Robert came to his office and saw her, she smiled at him; "You forgot your lunch honey." Which he seemed to take as an explanation to why she was there.
Sometimes when Jessica was at home she doubted that he loved her, that he only saw her as a trophy wife, someone to show off. But all of those doubts faded away as he came back from work and kissed her. It was then she became reminded that even if she might not love him that much, he loved her that much.
She spent most her first year as a married woman with both the new made mothers and their husbands. She watched both little Harry and Neville grow up, learning how to sit up straight and stand up on both of their legs, but not fully walking yet and to talk.
Both Jessica and Sirius had been made godparents to Harry, at first had Jessica got a little pissed off at James with the fact that they had chosen both of them. But she learned to live with it. And James was on reverse pissed off with her for bending into this whole "housewife" thing. Especially with the fact that she stopped working at all. Jessica first responded with that it was because she got married.
"But Alice and Lily didn't stop working, and they are both married and have a kid to think about." James responded.
"But Alice and Lily didn't get married to a Rutland." Jessica answered. "Some things are expected of me, and I knew that when I got married to him."
And with that the case rested and James didn't continue with this argument.
Jessica had been married to Robert Rutland for over a year when she became slightly forced to spend time with Sirius, Jessica had been very successful in avoiding Sirius since she had gotten married, he had been one of the guests to the wedding, but since then had she successfully avoided him. But now was all of that to waste.
James and Lily needed a baby sitter one night and they had managed to make sure that both Sirius and Jessica had volunteered to the duty. It was because both James and Lily felt safer with having two people watching over Harry, mostly of that Dumbledore had recently said that to some new facts that had come to his knowledge, Voldemort might be after Harry. That was the reason that they were in need of a babysitter, they were going to get everything explained to them tonight.
Harry had turned one year two weeks ago. He spoke a few very well selected words and seemed to have found it his responsibility to learn how to walk now, because he said to his aunt that very evening; "Walk me, Essy." He had been learned by James to call Jessica for Jessy, since he thought that was easier to learn than Jessica.
So Jessica spent most of the night with Harry, first helping him to stand and then encouraged him to try and walk toward her. The first few times he failed and sat down on his butt, but after awhile became better. But still hadn't learned how to walk without help when it was time for him to go to bed, because he was yawning and his eyes started to shut down.
Sirius had spent most of the time sitting in the sofa and watching them. Jessica sat down in the other end when she came back down again. The first few minutes passed in silence. Nobody of them dared to speak. Then Sirius finally broke the silence.
"You're good with kids." He said.
Jessica smiled slightly and turned toward Sirius, she pulled one of her legs up to the couch so that her body were facing him. "Thanks."
"You and Rutland planning having kids soon?" He continued.
"Hey, personal." She said, offended by his boldness. The truth was that she didn't want to talk about it, especially not with Sirius.
Sirius looked down again before speaking again. "I haven't seen you in a great while, you look good."
"Thanks." Jessica said, wishing that she could somehow escape from this place, this conversation weren't going anywhere. She looked up at Sirius and found that he was staring at her hand, her ring hand. Now she wished that she could read his thoughts, to know what he was thinking.
"I'm such an idiot, did you know that?" Sirius suddenly said, not taking his eyes off her hand.
Jessica didn't respond, she wasn't exactly sure what he meant.
"If I weren't such an idiot... I would have told you how I felt, and maybe that would have been my ring on your finger instead of his." Sirius continued in a voice which didn't give her any clue if he knew he was talking out loud. He pursed his lips and sighed before he stood up. "I'm hungry, you want anything?" He said in a louder voice and a smile now on his lips.
"Um..." Jessica was slightly startled by the sudden change. "No, you go ahead."
After that spending time in the same room as Sirius became even more awkward. Even James noticed that something had happened between the two of them, he asked Jessica what had happened, but she refused to answer him, brushing him off.
She never really stopped thinking about what he had said to her. Did he love her? Was that what he was trying to say? It made her frustrated and angry to think about it. He was right, but he weren't just an idiot, he was a completely moronic ass.
She remembered what date it was when she finally had enough, by this time she was so angry with him that her only plan as to get over there and hit him real hard in the face, and then a good kick in the groin if the first punch didn't make her feel better.
It was October second, she knew where he lived and she headed over there at evening time, she had told Robert that she was having some thing's to take care of. She knew where he lived. She was knocking furiously at his door for several moments before he opened.
"Jessica?" He asked bewildered at the sight of her.
"How could you just do that?" She asked, storming into his flat without invitation. "How could you tell me that now? After everything that have happened between us. I'm married!" She practically shouted out the last part and she held up her hand. "Do you love me?" She asked Sirius who still stood holding the door open.
"Yes, I do love you." Sirius answered, still holding the door open.
"Argh!" Jessica growled frustrated and walked toward him, stopping less than a foot away from his face. "Do you love me?" She asked again with gritted teeth, hoping that he would lie and tell her that he didn't.
But instead of answering her he kissed her, she knew that she should break the kiss and kick him hard in the groin, but found herself not able to break free from the kiss, she wanted it too much, she yearned for it. She wrapped her arms around his neck, making sure that he wouldn't break the kiss.
Still kissing the girl he loved, Sirius Black closed the door behind him with force.
A bit over an hour later the door opened again, Sirius and Jessica were still kissing, but Sirius was wearing a lot less clothes than before.
"I have to go." Jessica mumbled between kisses.
"No, you don't need to." Sirius responded, his grip around her tightened.
"Yes," She said with a smile on her lips as she broke away from his grip. "I'll be back when I find the time. I love you." She mumbled and gave him one last kiss.
"I love you too." He said, smiling at her as she walked away.
And Jessica kept coming back to him, almost every day over the next month. She found herself outside his door at daytime when she were the loneliest and doubted that Robert loved her. Sirius made her feel loved, but then she came home, and later her husband came home, kissing her with all that love, and she felt guilty for what she did to him.
She had also found that almost anything could set her in tears these days, the tiniest little thing and she could start bawling like a little child. She was so worried about James, Lily and Baby Harry. It turned out that Voldemort was after Harry, because some prophecy said that Harry would grow up and become the one who destroyed him. So they had gone into hiding, had chosen Sirius as a secret keeper. Jessica had a bad gut feeling about all of this, but kept that to herself, her gut weren't anything to trust.
Whenever she was crying Robert was there to comfort her, and that just made her cry more for what she did to him. But when the next day came she couldn't keep herself from going back to him. She only stayed for a few hours during the day, only one time she stayed the night, that very last night. Robert was out of town on business and Jessica stayed with Sirius the most of the day and then the night.
It was then it all happened.
She woke up in the middle of the night, the feeling she suddenly got was unbearable, unexplainable. It was similar to that feeling you get when somebody dives a knife through your heart, not that she had experienced being stabbed through the heart.
Jessica sat up instantly in the bed, putting a hand over her chest, she couldn't breathe.
"Sirius." She said to him, her voice full of pain.
Sirius had felt her body move away from him, the pain in her voice alerted him. "What's wrong?" He asked sitting up as well. "What's wrong with you?" He asked again when she hadn't answered him.
"Nothing's wrong with me." She started to feel better now, but the pain was still unbearable. "I think that's something's wrong with James." She said, she had always felt this certain connection with James. Like if she closed her eyes she could point into the direction he was at. And she could also feel some of his emotions, not very specific, but if he was happy or angry, afraid or hurt. But she had never felt anything like this before, something was really wrong with him.
"Okay." Sirius said, worry thick on his voice. He darted up from the bed, starting to look for his scattered clothes. "I'll go right now; make sure that they are okay." He could understand her worry for her brother. "Stay here until the morning, and then you go home if I'm not back by then." He instructed her, not fully clothed.
Jessica nodded, still fighting for breaths. She had already started to feel the tears run down her cheeks when she heard the door close behind him.
XXX
Six months later...
Jessica descended the stairs carrying a basked of fresh clothes. She placed the basket on the empty sofa in the sitting room. She looked over to the other sofa and smiled slightly as she saw that Harry was already asleep, already wearing his pyjama, the little one and eight month year old boy could sleep anywhere, under all kinds of conditions... Just like James.
It's frightened her a little that he looked so much like James, when she looked at baby pictures she could swear that it was the same boy at most times. It's now for the first time ever that she didn't think of herself as James double, his reflection, not when you took Harry into the mix.
She bent down in front of him, brushing the hair out of his face. He twitched a little, but didn't wake up.
"Harry." She cooed softly to the little boy.
He only responded with a moan.
"Time to go to bed." She continued, she did know better than to wake him up, but he was starting to get so heavy.
She pulled the sleeping boy into her arms, his chest toward hers, his arms around her neck and head on her shoulder. Harry moaned a little in his sleep again and put his arms tighter around her neck.
She carried him upstairs to his room; she pushed the door open with her back and walked through the dark room and laid Harry down in the crib. She pulled the blanket over him and, just like she had done every night during these past six months, leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on his forehead, where he had the scar.
When she turned around to leave the room, her foot bumped into something lying on the floor, she leaned down to pick it up.
It was a musical box, not really a musical box; it was more or less a musical platform, a girl and boy statue dancing on top of the round box, they were completely still until you screwed the little turn thingy on the side, then the statue of the dancing couple started to spin, letting out a beautiful melody, a flute played melody.
She remembered buying this as a child when they were at a vacation in Greece, a woman had been playing it next to the musical boxes she sold; she had made them herself, all with different motives. Jessica had chosen the one with the dancing couple because they looked so happy, so perfect.
But how had it ended up here, last time she remembered seeing it was when she still lived at home, standing there at the mantle in her room, where it had always stood.
Maybe her mother had given it to Harry last time they had visited, or maybe Harry had nicked it from her room, liked it so much that he didn't want to let it go.
Jessica looked at the musical box, it made her smile. A true smile this time, she hadn't had one of those ever since that Halloween night. First Lily and James died, Peter getting murdered and Sirius ending up in Azkaban for the crime, Remus being so shaken that he had travelled out of the country trying to find some of that miracle potion, which made the werewolf phasing's much easier to go through. He had read some article about such a study in America, and then decided to go.
A month after that Pricilla got murdered by some unknown Death Eater still on the loose after the fall of Voldemort. They had never caught who had killed her, two weeks after that Alice and Frank get tortured beyond insanity by no one else than few of the worst Death Eaters alive and Junior. After that Jessica had cried herself to sleep almost every night.
Her marriage to Robert had also started to fall apart, there was no question that all of these events had caused Jessica a lot of pain and she would never go back to be the same person again, but it had also taken its toll on Robert, who had also changed a bit, and they didn't fit together like before anymore.
They had even filed the papers for a divorce, but the day Robert learned that she was pregnant; they went right into the bin. He took for granted that child was his, on which subject Jessica weren't for sure, when she felt the baby inside of herself, she was so sure that the baby was Sirius's, not Roberts.
This child gave both Jessica and Robert a reason to try harder, when they had filed for the divorce it was simply because they had given up, stopped trying to make it work. Robert saw this baby as a sign that they belonged together.
Jessica clutched harder on the music box, she screwed it up and placed it on the little table next to Harry's crib, and walked out of the room leaving the door a little bit open, she wasn't quite sure if it were for her or for Harry, she felt better when he was closer to her, no obstacles in the way.
She leaned toward the wall outside his room and listened to the melody playing, she closed her eyes and concentred on the song, this time it didn't bring her back memories of her vacation in Greece, but of a dream she had a very long time ago, she couldn't remember the dream or what it was about, she just remembered having a strange dream.
Suddenly her eyes snapped open; she remembered the dream, like she had it yesterday.
"Some things would have been better if you never ended up in a coma, and some things wouldn't." A voice said to her right. A person stood there. A woman dressed in a white robe, she was black and seemed to be in her early forties. She spoke with a very comfortable voice, like she was just saying facts and nothing else. Even so there was some sort of pleasantness around her; she didn't make you feel scared.
"What do you mean?" Jessica asked. Wondering who this woman was, and how she had come here.
"This dream is to answer your question, Miss Potter... About how things would have been if you didn't end up in a coma." The woman spoke. "The outcome would be worse. Especially for Harry, with him never living with his other aunt he would never be safe, no place in the world would be safe for him when Voldemort returns, and that would lead to Voldemort winning the coming war." Her voice now a little arrogant, but decisive. "The things you are meant to do in the real world, the people you are supposed to save by just loving them, caring for them. The environment you are supposed to raise your daughter in."
"My daughter...?" Jessica asked, placing both of her hands on her six month belly.
"Some things are set in stone and supposed to happen no matter what." The woman continued, ignoring Jessica. "Like the fact that Sirius Black was always supposed to be the father of your child, but never to be a father to your child. And some other things have to happen certain ways, like your coma, in the long run everything would be better that if everything happened like this, trust me. But now..."
The woman took one step closer to Jessica, standing right in front of her. "Now it's time for you to wake up. WAKE UP!" The woman shouted out the last part and pushed Jessica roughly on the shoulders and Jessica fell backwards, but instead of hitting the floor she kept on falling. Falling until she was surrounded by darkness.
When she felt her body stop falling she snapped her eyes open, not remembering the dream or why she had the feeling of falling.
She woke up to the sound of two people talking; she instantly saw that she was in the hospital wing at Hogwarts. Harry was lying at the bed next to her, his eyes also open and looking directly at her.
A/N; before anything else, 8´000 plus words, the longest chapter I have ever written. Hugh applauds to me...
It took me really long to write this, I have been having this chapter on my mind ever since I started planning this story and once again I'm updating in the middle of the night before I fall asleep.
A little funny thing is that the first time that I heard the word "posh" in English class was in this sentence, I remember it so well; "Jenna and I wanted to go carolling in one of London's most posh suburbs." I just put in "Wizarding" in the use of that in this chapter.
I didn't get Breaking Dawn until this Monday the eleventh, I read out the book last night and you have to give it to Stephenie Meyer, she succeeded what I, and probably many more, thought were impossible, she gave the Twilight Saga the ultimate happy ending, Incredible. I might have been a little disappointing with the book, but now... 24 hours later, I realize that I love the book, even though it has a happy ending.
Thanks to my wonderful Reviewers, they keep me writing on this story.
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