29th December – Thomas Becket Day?

8.45am Yes. I know I am totally reaching with this whole Thomas Becket thing, but I couldn't find anything else of interest on the 29th, so I went with it. I've decided not to look him up though, if only because that had somewhat disastrous results yesterday and ended in lots of unproductive time wasting. So my apologies to you, Thomas Becket, but I don't have time to read up on your whole life story

Also. This time next year I will potentially have another holiday here instead, since this day may go down in history as the day that I accidentally murdered James Potter for being such a little twerp. In order to avoid getting thrown in Azkaban for homicide, I am planning to undergo extensive preparation before 3 p.m.. Obviously this will not include any kind of primping. I am putting on my baggiest trousers and rattiest shirt so that he understands that this is not a date. At all.

I will however, attempt to follow along with the lady in that yoga tape. I will do this in order to find my inner peace, so that James's antics to not force me into an incontrollable rage. Petunia got this tape weeks ago and absolutely swears by it. This is not much of a recommendation since Petunia is as temperamental as ever, but a yoga tape is better than nothing.

9.30am I HATE YOGA.

Honestly. They hired a bloody contortionist to stand in front of a camera and fold her ludicrously supple body into pretzels, and then sold the video to normal human beings. I can't imagine that they actually think this nonsense is calming. The people who made this tape are probably sitting at their stupid desks chortling at the idea that so many foolish, gullible souls (their customers) are standing in front of their televisions attempting to do the 'Masticating Giraffe' or whatever ridiculous pose they have come up with.

"Har har har," these yoga executives are probably saying, "Imagine some non-contortionist attempting to fold her legs over her head and do the worm! She is probably becoming seriously injured! Good thing we also own St. Mungo's and will be able to charge her lots of money to become untangled!"

Assholes.

10.31am In an attempt to calm myself down after the yoga disaster, I tried to make cookies. The cookies were disgusting, but I did manage to burn myself pretty badly, so that's a plus.

Argh. My super cunning plan to make myself very calm before facing Potter has backfired. I will just have to pray that he is civil.

11.46am Changed out of gross shirt/pants and into favourite jumper and nice-ish jeans.

11.48am Changed out of nice-ish jeans into less nice jeans.

11.49am Less nice jeans have a stain. Back in nice jeans again.

11.51am Aaargh. I wish I was a cavewoman and never had to worry about clothes ever again.

11.52am I can't remember if this is actually my favourite jumper…?

2.30pm DOOOOOOOOM.

4.30pm Well. That went better than expected. Potter did not order chocolate-cinnamon ice cream, and I did not have the sudden urge to kill him at any point during the meeting.

Things started off a bit awkwardly though. Some sample dialogue:

Potter: Um. Evans? If you don't mind me asking, why are you sticking your finger in your ice cream?

Me: Ooh. Er. I burned my finger this morning making cookies. It still kind of hurts.

Potter: Here, let me see.

Me: NO. You will only make it worse.

Potter: I was just going to perform a healing spell.

Me: Why didn't I think of that?

Potter (with his stupid 'bemused' expression that he uses to rub the fact that I have done something foolish in my face): Um… not sure. I thought you want to be a Healer?

A snide remark that was totally uncalled for. I sort of shoved my hand towards him and accidentally slash on purpose dripped some raspberry ice cream on his shirt. But he didn't even notice and just kind of started examining my hand before he healed it. Now that I think about it, Potter may have a hand fetish. He was super fixated. Very creepy.

I have to say though, my hand felt about two hundred percent better, and it was a lot easier to focus on planning patrol schedules etc. We're holding a workshop with the first years to make sure that they've all transitioned into Hogawarts properly and are not on the verge of offing themselves, and we're sort of maybe planning some stupid dance. I plan to foist said dance off on the prefects as soon as possible. In order to make that transition easier, I was very vague during our planning session today. The less we have done, the easier it should be to get someone else to take over and come up with his/her own ideas. So here's how that bit of conversation went.

Potter: So. The dance?

Me: Oh, did we definitely decide it was a dance then?

Potter (giving me his 'Oh dear, Evans has gone crazy' look… which was totally unwarranted) Yes, Evans. We voted at the end of term.

Me: Right. I just thought there might be some leeway.

Potter: Leeway? Do you have some other event in mind?

Me: I mean… a dance is fine. I guess.

Potter: Okay. (He paused and just sort of looked at me) What kind of theme should have?

Me: I'm not a big 'theme' fan.

Potter: You're not a big theme fan? That's seriously your answer?

Me: Maybe it's just the word 'theme'. Very awkward. Doesn't roll off the tongue well at all.

HA! I am so good at being evasive. This went on for about ten minutes, and eventually we decided absolutely nothing. Masterful.

And then he got a bit stressed because he had made all kinds of elaborate plans for other pressing Head issues - stupid things like future alumni funds for our Year, and trying to petition for vegan food so that Sarah Liffleton will finally get a decent meal at Hogwarts. These were issues I was super frantic about while I was at Hogwarts, but they sort of drifted to the back of my mind over the holidays. Apparently, I insisted that we plan these things out over break though, and Potter was foolish enough to actually go ahead and do just that. So he got all prissy towards me because I had done nothing at all, even though I made a perfectly believable excuse about having left all my detailed notes at home.

We actually ended things rather chummily though. He teased me about my healing apps for a little bit, and then we had a bit of a laugh at McGonagall's expense. And for a minute there I forgot he was my sworn archenemy.

But then he tried to pay for all the ice cream and we fell back into the usual, comforting routine of being annoyed with each other. Stellar.

--

2.20am I know it's technically tomorrow, but I don't have time to come up with some stupid holiday etc.

Just had a very strange dream about Potter. Am questioning own sanity. In the dream, we (Potter and I) were sitting on a couch in the Head's common room, playing Trivial Pursuit. Except he reached over and gave me a quick kiss on the lips halfway through, as if it were nothing at all. And then asked me a question about Kuala Lumpur.

What on earth is wrong with my mind? Wizards don't even know Trivial Pursuit exists.

Dear Fanfiction: I honestly was enjoying writing this story, but I've posted five chapters so far, and received only three reviews. Obviously, no one else is enjoying this quite as much as I am, so I think I might put a stop to it now. I love little writing projects like this, but I don't really have the energy to update daily without some kind of encouragement.

Hopefully those of you that read it enjoyed the story.