I own no one but my own people

A/N: I know Serena Benson died in the second season, but you know what? Fin and Olivia aren't married and have a child either so...

Elliot walked to the ICU, his hands shaking. He had to talk to her, had to see for himself the damage he had caused.

Cragen had been called back to the precinct by Munch, Joseph and Adam said they would only talk to 'one of their own', and Cragen didn't even bother asking Elliot to leave.

He turned the corner and saw her room number, her shades open. He opened the door and looked in, inhaling a deep breath when he did.

She was sleeping, but that didn't seem to make her look any less damaged. Bruises and scars covered what he could see of her, a thick gauze bandage over her left eye, her arm in a heavy cast and sling. Thankfully, the hospital blanket covered the rest of her.

Fin turned towards him and motioned him in, before turning back to Olivia, holding her hand.

"How is she?" he asked, looking down at her.

"She decided to take the meds, so we'll see."

Elliot nodded and sat down beside Fin.

"There, there's something I wanted to ask you," Fin asked, not taking his eyes from his wife.

"What?"

"How did you know how along she was with Elliot?"

Elliot looked at him in confusion. "What do you mean?"

Fin let out a sad chuckle and shook his head. "Sorry. Before they... before they killed him, they told her to give him a name, and Elliot Stabler Benson was what she decided on in the heat of the moment so..."

Elliots eyes filled with tears. She had thought of him in the midst of her pain. And if it wasn't for him, they never would have been in the situation to do that in the first place.

"She told me."

Fin didn't look at him, didn't register anything, his face like a marble statue. "Why didn't she tell me? Or why didn't you tell me?"

"She asked me not to say anything to anyone."

"I had a right to know. I didn't even know she was pregnant until ten minutes before she gave birth. He was my son, Elliot. Someone should have told me."

"I wanted to," Elliot told him, turning Fin toward him. "I even asked her this same question, why she didn't tell you when she told me. Fin, she didn't want you to know in case something happened to this one as well. Didn't want your hopes up."

Fin glared at him. "So, she might of had another miscarriage, and no one would have told me? She wouldn't have told me I had another child on the way, or that another one was dead?"

"Don't blame her!" Elliot said desperately. The last thing he wanted was for Fin to blame Olivia for anything now, to be angry at her when she would need him most. "She doesn't need this now."

Fin sighed and stared back down at her, tears in his brown eyes. "Do you know what happened the night she had her first miscarriage?"

Elliot shook his head and Fin continued. "Me and Olivia had a fight that night, about some apartments we were looking at, you know. A two bedroom apartment wasn't exactly great for a couple with two kids. I wanted something that would actually let us live without surviving from pay check to pay check, look at some bigger apartments in lower Manhattan that wouldn't let us break the bank, and she said she didn't care if we both had to start running drugs, but she wanted someplace safer then downtown Manhattan, Queens more specifically. With the whole white picket fence and pool type thing, no matter the price. I mean I understand why, Queens is much safer then Manhattan, but I was a third grade detective, she was second grade, a kid, one more on the way. We just didn't have the money for it.

I slept on the couch, and," tears gathered in his eyes as well as Elliot. "I woke up at about three a clock to th both of them screaming. I ran in there, and there was so much blood everywhere. I didn't know what to do or what was wrong. Once I realized what was wrong, I called Munch, told him that Tina was at the neighbor who watched her when we were at work and he needed to get over there now to get her.

I ran out of the house, wrapped her in a blanket and rushed her to the hospital in our car. They said Kelly was dead before we even reached my car."

Fin no longer tried to hide the tears in his eyes, and Elliot didn't either.

Elliot knew how hard it had been on them, for a month, they pretty much refused to talk to anyone.

He also knew how frightened Fin must have been that night. He could still remember every detail when she had her second one, two years later.

In the precinct, she had been working on paperwork, even after Elliot, Fin, and Cragen told her to go get some rest. She had said she had a bad feeling, and that she wasn't hurt or in any pain, she just had a feeling that something ad was going to happen that day.

So Olivia had stayed most of the day, and then all of a sudden, she began screaming, and she fell to the floor, clutching her stomach, the blood already soaked through her jeans and onto the floor.

Elliot and Fin ran to her, trying to comfort her. Fin pulled down her jeans and underwear and took his shirt off and wadded it into a ball before he stuffed it in between her legs, just like what Elliot had done at the basement.

Cragen called 911, and when they got there, Olivia had fallen unconscious, still bleeding.

They had saved her, but the baby, a boy they named Sean afterwards, had no chance.

After that day, Fin had began to drink, more so then Elliot ever saw. Showing up drunk at work, or with a hangover.

Finally a month later Olivia had put her foot down. Told him that she was not about to let Tina be raised by a drunk, and she was not about to live with another one, that if he cared about Tina and Olivia, he would knock off the drinking. He stopped that day.

Fin sniffed, and wiped his tears away and went back to holding her hand. "I never thought that I could experience something worse then losing them. But... watching Olivia being tortured like that, knowing she's going to live out the rest of her life in nightmares, that her worse fear came true. And then they... they just shot him, Elliot. Like he was nothing. Just put him down on the ground and-"

He had to stop. The room was beginning to spin once more, his breathing quickened.

Elliot stood up, "should I call someone?"

Fin shook his head. "No, no I'm fine. But, my son, Elliot. My child. Oh god my son!"

He let out a sob and Elliot grabbed him and hoisted him up, embracing him like a brother.

"It's okay, you're gonna be okay! You're gonna make it through this!" he told him, letting out his own sob.

"I don't think I can," he cried, sobs ripping through him.

"Fin, you have too. Olivia needs you right now. You need to be strong!"

Fin let out another sob and took several deep breaths and let go of Elliot, and wiped his tears.

"What if I can't?" he asked, his voice shaking like a leaf.

Elliot opened his mouth, but couldn't come up with an answer.

"Then you let down the most important person in your life who needs you now more then anyone," a woman with a thick European accent said from the doorway.

They both looked to see who it was, and Fins eyes narrowed.

"What are you doing here?" he asked bitterly.

Serena Benson walked into the room, and Fin was surprised to not smell a drop of alcohol on her. Her light blue eyes wide and concerned, her light gray hair puled back in a tight bun. Wearing a faux black fur coat over black slacks and a white shirt, her pale skin care worn, but still looked well cared for.

"She never took me off of her emergency contacts. They called me," the woman explained

"She doesn't need you right now, Serena. Get out of here!"

She narrowed her eyes at him, and although Elliot knew Olivia would kill him for thinking this, the two had almost the exact same face when they became angry.

"I have every right to see my daughter, Odafin. What happened to her? All anyone will tell me was that she was hurt badly."

Serena walked over to them, pushing Fin out of the way, and gasping when she saw Olivia.

She kneeled down beside her and held her hand, "Wha- what happened to her?"

"None of your business!"

She glared at him before she turned back to Olivia and began muttering a soft prayer in a language Elliot couldn't understand.

"She hates it when you speak Russian," Fin interrupted, and Serena looked up at him, sending nothing but hate towards him. "Said you only used it when you were drunk."

Serena stood up and crossed her arms, although she was several inches shorter then Fin, she was not in anyway intimidated.

"Olivia is my daughter, and I care about her more then anything. I have every right to be with her!"

"You've had a funny way of showing it, Serena. Where were you at our wedding? How about when she had Tina, or at her Christening, any of the holidays that Olivia invited you too, despite my many protests? Come to think of it, you've never even met Tina!"

"I've come to make it right, Odafin. I-"

"Did you even call when she had the miscarriages?"

"I said I was here to make it right, everything. I'm going on two months sober now, going to meetings. I want to make it right with my daughter and my grandchild."

"No."

"You have no right to say if I can or can not see her or Tina!"

"You really want to test me, Serena? Because I guarantee it'll be the last time you see Olivia, and Tina won't even know your name, you pathetic drunk!"

"How dare you!"

Serena raised her hand, and they both thought for a moment that she was going to hit him, but instead she took a deep breath and smoothed down her hair. Elliot could see faded old scars on her wrist.

"Look, lets... lets just calm down, alright?" Elliot said, stepping in front of Serena, and looked at Fin. "Fin, she has just as much right to be here as you do."

"You really want the woman who beat the hell out of her everyday for almost eighteen years to look after her now? Who came after her with a broken bottle, who broke two of her ribs with a frying pan, who made it impossible for her to walk for two weeks because she pushed her down a flight of stairs?"

Elliot turned to Serena and looked down at her, and was surprised to see how much different they really looked up close.

"Would you excuse us for a moment, Miss. Benson?" Even after the words escaped his mouth, they sounded odd to him.

She nodded and smiled at him, and Elliot knew one thing Olivia's father did not pass down to her. "Of course, Elliot."

"Ho-"

"She's mentioned and described you many times. At first when she announced she was engaged, I thought it had been you."

Elliot gave a weak smile back and took Fin from the room., shutting the door behind her.

"I know what she did to her," he whispered to Fin, who was looking murderous at the fact that Serena was alone with her, and Fin was out here. "But you can't not let her be here. Olivia always wanted her family to be apart of her life, you know this Fin."

"I'll call Simon if she wants other family here, but not Serena."

"Fin-"

"No!" he yelled and lowered his voice considerably."I'm not gonna let that- that bitch screw with her even more then she has!"

"She's sober, Fin. From all the things Olivia told me about her, there was always alcohol involved. I smelled or saw nothing that there was that insinuated she took a drink at all, even in the last week."

Fin glowered at him, knowing her was right. "She doesn't need the stress of thinking Serena will fall back off the wagon."

"When Olivia wakes up, and the moment she says she doesn't want her there, then I'll toss her out myself. But give her a chance, Fin."

Fin sighed then turned to look in the window, and Serena was sitting where he was, holding her hand, he could make out the low mutterings of more Russian.

"Olivia never told me she was Russian," Elliot said looking in the window.

"She isn't exactly proud of her mothers ancestry, neither is Serena when I think of it."

Fin turned back to the window and sighed. "If Olivia gets upset-"

"I'll throw her out myself, Fin, I told you."

The two looked at one another before they walked back in the room, and Serena stood up, anxiety in her face.

"Sit down," Fin told her, "I'll get another chair."

"Thank you, Odafin, for letting me stay with my daughter."

"Whatever," he grumbled and sat down on the opposite side of the bed, and stared down at her bruised and broken face. "Just do me a favor, Serena."

"Yes?"

"It's Fin, not Odafin,"

Serena smiled that all too familiar smile at him again, and he had to hold back tears looking at the thing he may never see again.

"Of course, Fin. Of course."

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