Chapter Five: My Former Self

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Why give up? Why give in?
It's not enough, it never is
So I will go on until the end
We've become, desolate
It's not enough, it never is
But I will go on until the end

I've lost my way
I've lost my way
But I will go on until the end

Living is, hard enough, without you fucking up!

Breaking Benjamin - "Until The End"

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The Great Fox III had taken off from Zoness, and was making its way to Corneria for a meeting with General Pepper on a new mission. While most of the team was looking forward to it, there was one member who dreaded the return home. For the past day and a half, Wolf had refused to come out of his cabin. He had been emotionally scarred from the events that unfolded, and wasn't sure if he could even gather up enough courage to tell Serena what happened. His heart knew that he had to, but at the same time, the lupine feared that she wouldn't forgive him for such a thing.

Most of the time, he wouldn't even get up from his bunk, save the times he had to eat or go to the bathroom. He would just lay there, paws behind his head, legs crossed, and staring up at the ceiling. A desolate look was all that showed on his face, he almost appeared to be possessed by something. When he actually did come out of his room, he wouldn't even converse with any of the team. Even Panther found it quite odd for him to be this reserved.

And so he laid there, just him and his brain.

"It's over…" He mumbled. "I'm over…"

There was a knock on the door. It was stifled, but definite. He turned to see if whoever it was would come in before he reached it.

"Who is it?" He asked.

"It's me." Fox's voice replied through the metal hatch.

Wolf let out a sigh and motioned his way as if Fox could actually see him. "Come on in." A loud clanking sound reverberated through the room, followed by the door creaking open. The vulpine slowly walked inside, looking at his fellow pilot. He could sense his pain without even looking at him, it was probably the lack of any real movement in the room. Usually when Wolf was in his quarters, he would keep himself busy by sending a message to Serena, listening to music, or writing something down in his pilots log. But now, everything was frozen. There was nothing upbeat about Wolf anymore.

Fox stopped a few feet in front of him and looked him straight in the eye. "Falco told me what happened…" Wolf couldn't help but feel some sort of familiarity with what he said. "You want to talk about it?"

"I guess…" He got up and sat on the side of the bed now, allowing Fox to do the same.

"So what exactly happened?"

"Well, after you did six or seven shots of that drink, you went nuts."

"So I heard." He laughed nervously.

"Yeah, and I had taken three shots. That shit kicked in really fast, it was like a light had switched on. One minute I was fine, and then before I knew it, I was wasted." Wolf rubbed his head for a second, still trying to comprehend the effects of that beverage. "I don't remember much from the night after that. Only that Falco was hanging with some other bird chick." Fox's ears perked up.

"Oh, you mean Erika? Yeah, Falco told me about her. She's a merc too, and she was actually spying on someone at the party or something. He even got her number, lucky bastard." This put a smile on Wolf's face for once.

"Nice…" But the moment passed. "But the next morning I woke up hung-over like crazy, and there was this chick sleeping with me. I didn't even get her name."

"Oh shit man."

"It's just like my days in Star Wolf. Fucking women without any commitments or anything." The vulpine could sense his anger rising.

"But you were totally trashed, it's not the-"

"YES IT IS! I've become what I hated again!" He slammed his fists down on the bed, and began to growl. He never looked at Fox during this time, he just stared straight ahead. The fur on the back of his neck began to stand up.

"Wolf, calm down! This might not look good, but trust me, we can make things right." He braced himself for possible retaliation, when he got this way, anything could happen.

"How?!"

"Well, first things first. You need to relax." He placed a paw on the lupines shoulder, making him finally look at Fox. "Everyone makes mistakes, and sure this is one big band-aid we got here. But don't let it get to you, it will only make things worse. Krystal was a total wreck before she told me she was cheating on me. It dug at her for so long, and because of that, she ended up being an even bigger mess afterward. That's why you need to tell Serena sooner than later. If you tell her as soon as we get back to Corneria, you'll feel a lot better and she might forgive you sooner than later. Trust me, I should know."

Fox had brought up a great point. Trust is a major factor in a relationship, and if he ended up telling her sooner, it would be a lot less strain on him to tell if he let it build up over time. And if he did tell her months from now, she might think that he did it more than once and he just wasn't willing to tell about those. He stopped growling and put his ears down.

"You're right, I can't let this dwell on me forever." He got up and took a look at himself in the mirror near the door. "I'm a new Wolf O'Donnell, and this Wolf won't let a single fuck up bring him down." His remaining eye twitched at the thought. A sudden burst of energy took over the lupine, a warm euphoric sensation took over him.

"Awesome! So, does this new Wolf feel like he can socialize now?" The vulpine joked.

"Yeah sure." They walked out to the hallway and toward the lounge, where everyone was congregating. Wolf was still feeling guilty on the inside, but he felt like things would work out for him and Serena. It wasn't long before the moment of truth would come…