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Thank You Lord Voldemort

Chapter 8 - No Regrets

For the next few nights Alex was restless. Every time his eyes closed he saw or felt Severus' kiss. Not to mention that every morning he woke up in a very uncomfortable position. Alex just hoped that he didn't say any names out loud as the object of the dreams slept in the same room. He had tried to read before bed so that his thoughts would be elsewhere but it wasn't working.

So, he came to the realization that yes, he was attracted to Severus Snape. 'So, am I gay?' But, he had had dreams like this about girls also. 'So maybe I'm bi.' Either way he needed to talk to Severus. He had been avoiding his friend although he missed him. But, how could it work. Although Alex had done a good job separating Severus from his snarky potions master he knew that they were the same person and that, in reality, Severus was much older than he. 'But, what if I get stuck here?' He wondered.

After avoiding Severus all morning, who had gone to breakfast early, Alex noticed him sitting by the lake reading that evening. Butterflies started filling his stomach as he approached Severus. He shakily sat down beside his friend and took a deep breath.

"Severus, we need to talk." He braced for some scathing remark but it didn't come.

"Yes, we do. I'm sorry about the other day. I'm really not someone you want to be involved with anyway. I'd like to stay friends though." The onyx eyed Slytherin spoke softly and quickly.

"Why shouldn't I be involved with you? I trust you." Alex said, his innocent eyes showing that he meant it.

Severus turned to face Alex and hung his head. "You shouldn't trust me. You don't know that much about me."

Alex smirked knowingly. "I do trust you but I can't tell you why."

"Has to do with that time thing huh?"

"Yea." Alex replied softly. "Now, I know that you are a great person but I just need more time to think about all of this."

"I understand, I think. We can take things slowly."

Alex sighed. "That's not what I meant. I might leave to go back to when I'm from at anytime."

"But you might never go back to your time. You shouldn't have to wait."

"It's not just that. There's more," he whispered and became interested in a blade of grass between his fingers.

"What is it then? Are you not sure if you're gay? Or is it me?"

Alex stood quickly and paced back and forth thinking, still clutching the blade of grass. "It's not you really, but it is you. I do think I'm gay or bi at least."

Severus hung his head. "So, you're just not attracted to me?"

Alex sat back down and stared intently at his friend. "I am attracted to you. That's not the problem."

"Then what is the problem? I want to know." Severus said demandingly, making him look like the potions professor from the future.

Alex blurted out the answer before he could stop himself. "You're my professor."

Back in 1997

Professor Snape had finally stopped pacing around his private quarters and decided he needed to talk to the headmaster.

When he reached the headmaster's office he declined the offered lemon drop and sat in front of the desk.

"What can I do for you Severus? Are you well?"

"I'm fine. I .. I don't know what to do about Alex."

The headmaster sighed and leaned back in his chair. "I see. Well, we don't know that he'll make it back do we?"

Severus glared at the headmaster to hide the pain in his heart that statement caused. "He will make it back. But I don't know how to treat him when he does come back."

"You'll just have to see how he feels if he gets back."

"When he gets back." Severus growled.

"Okay, when he gets back."

"I've changed so much since then Albus. Was I ever really that open? Can I be that way again? He thinks he knows who I became but I don't think he realizes how deep this icy shell goes. It's been so long since I've felt anything."

The headmaster had that twinkle in his eye that Severus despised. "If anyone can brake through that ice it's Harry."

"Harry" he said shaking his head. "I suppose I'll have to call him that when he gets back. I certainly can't call him Alex. And I refuse to call him Potter. A true Potter could never have been such a kind, accepting person."

Back in 1977

"I'm your professor?"

"yea" Alex whispered. "I shouldn't have told you."

"Well at least that settles the argument."

"What does?"

Severus grinned. "Whether you're from the past or future, of course. If I'm your professor than you have to be from the future. How many years?"

"I can't tell you that. I told you too much already."

"Well, I'm not your professor yet. And, if you don't make it back I'll never be your professor again will I?" Severus said, grinning mischievously.

"But, if I do make it back things will be awkward between us." Alex said, looking away.

Severus grasped the green-eyed wizards chin and turned his face towards him. "Look, Alex, if you're here for one day or ten years I don't think you should have to put your life on hold just because your stuck in the wrong time. I like you Alex and I'd like to get to know you even better, even if you do have to leave eventually."

Alex smiled and placed his hand on Severus'. "No regrets?"

Severus clutched Alex's hand in his. "No regrets."

Severus moved to kiss him. Alex closed his eyes, leaning in to the kiss and, instead of freezing up like last time, he participated vigorously. At first it was just a tentative meeting of the lips, but the butterflies he was feeling caused his breath to hitch. They both gasped and the kiss deepend. It wasn't perfect, as their noses seemed to get in the way. But to Alex it was one of the most wonderful things he had experienced.

When they reluctantly pulled apart Alex and Severus were both mesmerized by the other and stared into each other's eyes. Alex had never felt more relaxed or secure or sure in his life. He repeated his earlier words over in his head. 'No regrets.'

Alex snapped out of his thoughts when Severus started talking. "This weekend is a Hogsmead weekend. Maybe we could go together."

"I'd like that." Alex replied. "It's getting late. We should probably head back up to the castle."

"Yea." Severus replied as he stood up, pulling Alex with him.

When they reached the Slytherin common room, it was empty. They gave each other a brief goodnight peck before heading up to their beds.

That night Alex slept peacefully with dreams of Severus.

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Back in 1997

"I can't believe that Harry's happy in Slytherin. He would have to put up with Snape everyday."

"Ron, now really, just because he's sleeping in the dungeons doesn't mean he can't spend his time with the Gryffindors."

"Yea, I guess you're right. I hope he has his own room or something though. What if they try to hurt him while he's sleeping though? I can't believe he is playing quidditch for them even. They must have black-mailed him into it or something"

"Hey, Professor Lupin was there too. Let's go talk to him about it."

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Back in 1977

Severus sat up in bed clutching his left arm. He looked longingly over at Alex who slept soundly in bed before going out into the common room.

Several students waited in the common room. One of the Slytherins pulled a stone from his pocket and once all of the present Slytherins were touching it they disappeared.

Severus went though the motions of greeting Lord Voldemort. His heart wasn't in it like the rest of the students. All of them were the children of death eaters and received the mark on their sixteenth birthday. But Severus knew there was no way out of this. So he went through the motions.

"Now, I am ready to move my plans to the next stage. For that I need those of you who are students to start recruiting more. We need higher numbers. I want each of you to bring me names of those who might be loyal." The dark lord shouted. "Severus?"

"Yes, my lord."

"I understand that there is a time traveler at your school and that you are close to him. Find out what time he's from and what he knows of me."

"Yes, my lord."

"Go back before you're missed."

The Slytherin students all touched another stone as it transported them back to Hogwarts. Severus went back into his dorm where Alex was still sleeping peacefully. He walked over to him, placing a kiss on his forehead before speaking softly.

"There's alot you don't know about me. I just hope you don't find out."

Climbing back in his bed the words he spoke earlier ran through his mind. 'No regrets.'