Prompt: Kirk, Scotty - Resolve to never eat that ever again.
Protocol
"Now, Mr Scott, I believe there is a lesson to be learned from this, don't you agree?"
"Aye, Cap'n." Scotty struggled to look appropriately shamefaced.
Kirk waited for several beats for Scotty to continue before prompting, "And that would be..."
"Ta bring a snack with me on future missions, sir?"
"Scotty!"
"Cap'n, how was I ta know that the bushy green thing was a centerpiece instead of a salad? They've had us here for hours for this daft summit without serving any food at all. When they finally brought us into the banquet hall I was expectin' a blasted banquet and decided to tuck in! You can hardly fault me when starvation is cloudin' m'thoughts."
Kirk huffed out a sigh and ran a hand over his face. He'd spent the previous three hours discussing the terms of Scotty's release with the Federation's protocol adviser and the planet's representatives. That, added to the fact that they still hadn't yet had a decent meal, was beginning to take its toll on his patience and temper. "Scotty, you ate the damned Peace Plant! It is a symbol of the unity between the planet's two major factions! They've been at war with each other for more than a century! You ate their peace!"
Scotty reddened. "Aye, Cap'n. I'll read the protocol adviser's reports more carefully in the future."
"Thank you." Kirk activated his communicator. "Enterprise, two to beam up."
Just as he felt the transporter beam take hold of him Jim could swear he heard something from the man next to him. It wasn't until they'd rematerialized onto the transporter deck of the ship that he realized what it was.
Scotty's stomach was growling.