Emmett why are you so stupid!?
Between Eclipse and BD
Disclaimer:
I don't own Twilight,Just the plot!
Ch.2 The Pet Shack pt.2
JPOV
"Mrs Cope! Can I ask you something!?"I asked.
"Call me Lori(AN:LOL inside jk c bottom AN) and Yes you may Jasper..."She purred in what she must have thought as a sexy voice.
"Im a pornstar!! I need an actress! I already have the room! Will you do it?"I asked as i sent waves of lust her way.
"Hell yes Jazzy baby i will make you fuck me so hard you'll be screaming! And ive always wanted to be a pornstar!! I just need to go into Victorias Sercret! And then after we are done you will dump your ho a a girlfr-"She was cut short,b/c i slapped her w/ as lil strenghth i could muster.
"I am appalled!! I must report you!"I said with that i walked away
"I hate you Bella!"
"Emmett TorD!?"I asked.
"La Der Der(AN:My signa. phrase!) Dare!"
"I dare you to makeout with a fat monkey,let us tape you and then put it on youtube!"
"Where are you going to get a fat monkey!?"he asked.
"! Hes is in the pet store now!"
We walked into the pet shack.
BPOV
Jasper handed me a video camera. He then left to get Gibby(the fat monkey link on the bottom AN:Lol ICarly! Gibby!?)...his new fat monkey
"Em,meet Gibby!"Jazz said.
Gibby smiled.
"Okay,B you got then camera ready!?"
"Hell yea,Now em makeout with that monkey!"I yelled.
He leaned down,and the monkey grabbed his neck!then after 2 mins it was over! Em wiped his muth as Gibby went to the counter. He was about to press the "ALL ANIMAL CAGES OPEN SO THEY CAN ESCAPE" button(Em named it!)
" NOOO Gibby!' But it was too late!
All of a sudden the amnimals were out in the mall!
"Fuck it Em! Why did you too even put that button in!?Shit! We are royally screwed and fucked!"I said then i realized all of it was on camera!
"Quick! Pack up shop! We were never here!"Em yelled as i turned off the camera.
10 mins later Jazzy and i were on Eddies Laptop uplosding the video on youtube.
"Em! Im hungry!!!" I yelled.
40 mins and 3 fits later I had Chinese food and a glass of flavored water!
i devoured the food and downed the water! It was awesome!
"Emm i want more water!"I yelled
~5 more cup of "water later~
'Im a fat hippo! Im a sexy fat hippo!"I screamed!
I ran up to Alices room and took out the boxes(yes Es!) marked liniergie for Bella! I picked out the scariest pieses!I put it on and walked down the stairs just as Edward and Alice walked in!
"Edwaard can we go to Candy Mountain?Yea lets gooo to caandymountain!"i said in a seductive voice.
"Emmett what did you give her!?" Edward yelled as i walked over to Alice.
"Mary Alice Cullen..."I got down on one knee."Will you marry me?" I asked and before she could answer i Kissed her full on the lips with tounge!
Okayy! Filler chap. The inside joke is there was this creepy lunchlady at my skwl,my frnds said she wz a molester,so she fit,her name was lori! Here is the link
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Review! And ill update by Friday!