Part 12, Sleep
by ctrlphreaque
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December 31, 2000 -- Sunday - January 1, 2001 -- Monday
The end of one year and the beginning of the next had found Dean in his bed trying to find a comfortable position for sleep. His whole body hurt from the punishments he had endured in the last few days. For no apparent reason, Sam had been in a bad mood and was taking it out on Dean, but then again Sam always took everything out on Dean. The last had been the Water Test that had Dean holding onto tin cups while Sam poured in boiling water. It burned his hands but he did not let go. Dean's hands were blistered and raw but he did not complain even though that was what Sam wanted.
Lying on his back, Dean cradled his hands to his chest and tried to fall asleep. Nothing he did helped him get away from the fear or the pain. 'i have to get out of here, i have to get away,' the same words floated through his mind and the same answers came with them, 'but mom and dad, they have no idea what sam can do.' Tears flooded his eyes but he refused to let them fall. 'i just want to sleep, please let me sleep,' he pleaded with his mind for release, he knew Sam would be out for the rest of the night and most probably the day. Sam had a big party to go to.
Rolling onto his side with his back to the wall, Dean started to recite the periodic table. After that did not work, Dean started calculating to the twelth digit the value of pi. Finally, he started to drift off.
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Dean was jerked awake by Sam in the early morning hours. He felt his arm nearly pulled from it's socket as Sam moved him to the center of his bed and start to kiss him.
"N-nn-o!" Dean could not take it any more, he had to make it stop. He constantly hurt and was always on edge, he never could relax. He got a backhand to his face and a punch to the gut for his efforts. Gasping for air, Dean could smell the alcohol on Sam breath.
"Happy New Year, bitch," Sam slurred into his ear then planted a rough kiss on Dean's mouth. He whimpered in pain when Sam bit his lip causing it to bleed. Dean pushed against his younger brother hoping he was drunk enough to roll with it.
"Damn it," Sam hissed then slapped Dean, "Are you fighting me?" he had disbelief in his voice.
"J-jj-us-t-t s-st-top-p it-t!" Dean fiercely pleaded as he felt his hands being pulled to the edges of the bed. "Th-this-s is-ss n-nno-t-t r-rr-right-t!" he was trying to get Sam to listen to him. Dean's chest and shoulders were pinned to the bed along with his arms and legs by Sam's powers.
Sam laughed, even thoroughly inebriated he still was in control. "Not right? You stupid bitch. Like I give a shit," Sam growled punching Dean in the gut again.
"Gonna fuck you good," Sam purred then reached down to shove his finger into Dean. He bit back a cry of pain as Sam finger fucked him. Dean was not going to give him the satisfaction, he was going to stop this one way or another. Dean just needed a plan. So Dean endured silently the painful abuse.
Sam was up to three when he pulled out, "Now you're ready," he said with lust in his voice. Spreading Dean's legs as far as they would go, Sam grabbed hold of Dean's hips and entered, laughing when Dean did scream out in agony this time.
"You love it, bitch," Sam was enjoying the look of pain and hopelessness on his brother's face while he raped him. Sam had Dean's arms pinned straight out to his sides. Dean wanted to look away, but Sam did not want him hiding in any form. So he was forced to look into those hateful eyes enjoying the terror and pain he was feeling.
Tears filled his eyes and left salty trails down the sides of his face. He screamed when Sam hit that tender spot and pounded it harshly. Dean wished just once someone would hear him and save him, but was so ashamed of his weakness and helplessness that he was almost glad no one did. Sam saw to it that any noises that Dean made were registered as background sounds to their parents. It took a few tries, but Sam had John and Mary believing that every sound that Dean uttered was silence. And unless they spoke directly to him, Dean was unheard in the Winchester household. So he could talk and yell and scream until he was blue in the face, no one paid any attention to Dean.
Sam came with a harsh gasp and collapsed, causing Dean's breath to be labored under his brother's weight. He concentrated on just that for the longest time waiting for Sam to move. It had been so long that his legs started to cramp and his back to spasm painfully. When Dean was able to move he heard the soft snores of his brother, he carefully pushed Sam off and out of him.
Sam shifted and turned back towards Dean, curling around his brother as if snuggling. Dean tried to push him away but Sam held on. Nuzzling in close, Sam murmured into Dean's ear, "Why don't you love me? I need you, Dean. I'm so alone."
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