Ch. 2: Give Me A Sign

SilverMoon: Hey dudes! I've got ideas for this story. But basically its a story that I let out all my songfic ideas for Zelos and Lloyd. :D
Lloyd: Weirdo...
Me: Whatever. So...disclaim me.
Lloyd: SilverMoon doesn't own ToS or Namco. She also doesn't own Breaking Benjamin or Give Me A Sign. Goodbye. -leaves-
Me: FINE BE THAT WAY!! Onto the story. Sorry if it makes you cry. And its a bit of an AU. Not much though. It just kind of implies it.

Dead star shine,
Light up the sky.
I'm all out of breath
My walls are closing in.

Lloyd sat with tearstained cheeks. In his hand a picture of a redhead. He clutched it harder as another sob ripped lose from his throat. Another wave of tears streamed freely down his cheeks. Once again, he was left in a vulnerable position. "Why...?" He murmered, cluctching the picture to the point where it began to crinkle.

Outside, stars were shining. The moon was the brightest of all. A group of clouds emerged from the bind spot of the window. Lloyd glanced up and glared, "How come you're so peacful? There's no reason to be happy!" His voice by the end of this speech was at full volume. He could tell that his neighbors would be angry so he made an attempt to quiet down.

He looked back at the picture and chocked out a sob. "Damn you. Why did you have to go and leave me here alone?" Tears once again were running freely down his face. He still remembered the day of his lovers funeral.

Days go by,
Give me a sign.
Come back to the end,
Shepard of the damned.

He sat beside his lovers' casket, sobbing into the wooden surface. His friends were gathered around him, watching with sad eyes. Rain had begun to fall on the group. Lloyd looked up and sobbed some more. He removed his jacket and placed it over the redhead in the casket, "There. Now you won't get wet."

His best friend, Genis, placed a small hand on his shoulder, "Do you want some time alone?" Recieving a nod, the party left the sobbing brunette on his own.

"Zelos....Zelos why did you go? You could've fought harder. I could've been there more instead of at work. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry please come back! Its all my fault! I know it is!! But please just....just come back to me!!" Lloyd shouted, eyes to the sky as if hoping to see Zelos' soul floating back down to him. Waiting for warm arms to reach up and embrace him like they used to. But none of that would happen. His hopes were crushed.

I can feel you falling away.

The volumes of Lloyd's sobs increased. He sat, curled in a ball and hugging the picture of Zelos to his chest. The pain, it was unbearable. He couldn't last much longer. It was too hard. "Zelos...where are you? Why don't you answer me? Have you forgotten me?! Us?!" He slammed his fist down on the bed, becoming hysterical.

No longer lost,
No longer the same,
And I can see you starting to break.

He stood, walked out of his bedroom and into the living room. Grabbing his coat and keys, he exited the house, locking the door behind him. The night air was cool on his warm and tearstained face.

Lloyd got into the car and started it. Not bothering to put on a seatbelt, he backed out of the driveway and onto the main road. He felt reckless, like he could do anything and be unharmed. The feeling was exhilarating. Speeding up down the street, he decided on his location. It was a place he hadn't been in a while. The pain was too much to go there yet. But now he felt as if he could do it.

I'll keep you alive,
If you show me the way.
Forever - and ever,
The scars will remain.

Entering the cemetary was probably the hardest part. It felt like a part of him was just screaming for him to go back. But there was no going back now. He was too far in to back out. It was his mission to do this.

Driving to the spot was an unconcious act. He had memorized where the grave was, never wanting to forget the final resting place of...of....him. He felt worthless. He couldn't even call Zelos his...

The tears were back. His eyes becoming blurry. Luckily he had reached the spot. He pulled off to the side and put the car in park. Closing his eyes, he leaned his head back and sighed.

I'm falling apart,
Leave me here forever in the dark.

Daylight dies,
Blackout the sky.

Stepping out of the car, he found the stone right in front of him. It read: Wilder. Of course, that was his last name. Also, it was Lloyd's last name now too. After all, they had been married.

Unconciously, his finger went to caress the wedding ring on his finger.

He went to the grave and kneeled in front of it. His eyes closed and he rested his head against the cool stone. He could feel himself losing it, his facade. The crying he had done earlier was nothing compared to what he was holding back. And doing just that was become a hard task. He couldn't hold it for much longer.

Is anyone there?
Does anyone care?
Take this life,
Empty inside.
I'm already dead,
I rise to fall again.

It was breaking, and he knew it. The emptyness in his heart was slowling spreading, like a disease throughout his whole body. It was worthless, the fight he was putting up. Decision made, he let it loose.

I can feel you falling away

Sobs racked his body, like a million bullets hitting him all at once, and the guns being fired over and over. His throat was horse from the previous times. But he couldn't hold it back.

The moon seemed to illuminate the whole graveyard, casting an eerie glow. Moonlight reflected off the marble stones, making it seem as if the spirits were there, with Lloyd. Like Zelos was there with him. But he knew that he wasn't.

"Zelos...I miss you so much...I just can't take this pain, this longing, this lonliness. I can't handle it. I thought I could, but I'm weak, worthless. That's why you left me, isn't it? Don't worry, I understand...." He no longer cared if he was going to get a reply or not, he just wanted to vent. And this was how he planned to do it.

God help me I've come undone,
Out of the light of the sun.

It was getting cold out. A chill ran down his spine and he shivered. He remembered he had left his jacket in the car. But he didn't care. His life no longer mattered to him. Nothing did. Not without Zelos. Without Zelos, even the task of living was pointless.

"Zelos....loosing you...that was my punishment, for trying to love someone again. First Colette, now you...I'm sorry. I've failed you. I've failed everyone. I'm sorry..." His mutterings were nothing but an afterthought now. What he was focusing on was the picture in his hands. The same picture from before.

He turned it over, on the back was a note that he'd read many times before.

Lloyd,

If you're reading this, then it means I've lost my battle with my disease. Don't think its your fault, I'm just a coward who runs away from challenges. Just remember, I love you. I always will. Don't forget that.

Yours forever and always,
Zelos

PS: I'm always with you. Promise.

Lloyd put his hand to his mouth and rested his hand upon the stone once again. Tears were streaming down his face. Sobs were forming in his throat, but no sound would come out, just a chocked noise.

No longer lost,
No longer the same.
And I can feel you starting to break.
I'll keep you alive,
If you show me the way.

"Zelos..." Lloyd mumbled. He could almost see him now, surrounded by a beautiful golden light. His hand was outstretched, a happy smile etched on his face. "Zelos..." He realized now that it was freezing out. His body was shivering uncontrolably. Wrapping his arms around himself, he continued to sit by the grave.

It felt like hours, just sitting there, waiting for a sign. Something to tell him that it was okay to leave. That it was okay for him to still be on this earth. And still, nothing came. No sign. No nothing besides the cold breeze.

"Zelos...it is my fault. If only I had taken more days off work. If only I had been there more, then you would've had more courage to face the challenge in front of you. Zelos....I'm sorry. I've apologized so much...it doesn't help the fact that your blood is on my hands...." Llody curled in to a ball in front of the grave marked 'Wilder'. "I love you too Zelos..." He muttered.

Forever - and ever.
The scars will remain.
Give me a sign,
Theres something buried in the words.

His eyes slowly closed, and his breathing evened. Puffs of steam were coming from his mouth and he shivered occasionally, but he was asleep.

After a while, his eyes wearily opened, and he saw a bright light. Then, he felt warm arms embracing him, like Zelos's. He smiled to himself, looking up to see a pair of cornflower blue eyes staring back at him.

"Hey bud."

"I missed you."

"I know. Its time to go."

"Okay."

Two golden figures faded into the shadows of the cemetary.

Give me a sign,
Your tears adding to the flood.

When they found him, his body had been frozen stiff. His eyes were fixed on something that they couldn't see. But his mouth, his mouth was curved into a smile.

"At least he was happy." One of them said, with a sad smile.

For ever - and ever,
The scars will remain.

Me: So, did you like it?
Lloyd: -sob- It was so horrible it made me cry.
Me: Back to your usual mean self I see. Well, FYI, I cried while writing this so shut up.
Lloyd: WIMP!!
Me: Anyways, you readers should review and tell me how much you liked it.
Lloyd: Wordcount?
Me: Sure...
Lloyd: Wordcount was.....-drumroll- 2,052! Not congratulations!
Me: Review and you'll get a Breaking Benjamin cookie!!