A/N: While I am working on the whole-Bella depression bit, I've decided to give you some Alice-in sight on the past 8 months. Mainly because she hasn't bee in the story alot and because the Depressed Bella thing is taking a long time b/c it is very hard to write!! So here's some alice- in sight.

Alice's POV (from when Bella comes in after learning Edward is dead: chapters 5- 8/9)

"Actually Alice," she said "I think, you should buy a few more things for your baby. What's wrong with a little...spoiling?" I was grateful that she finally understood the importance of my baby's indulgence. I smiled, already knowing what else I needed. "I'll be right back..." she said. (chapter 5)

I stayed in the shop for a while after Bella left to get some fresh air. I wasn't worried at all...until I realized how late it was getting. I couldn't find her anywhere outside and I felt terrible that I didn't pay attention to her. Some best friend I was...

But then again, it had been this way for a few months now; Ever since...I was forced to lie to her about Edward. Our friendship had become a little strained, and as the months went by, I began to get weary. Bella tried to be happy when she was with me, I could see right through that; I knew her too well. And I knew her well enough to know that she was keeping secrets and pain from me... I wondered if she knew I was lying...If she didn't trust me.

But she didn't talk about and neither did I; It would just result in another night of fruitless crying. Plus, I couldn't say truthfully that I didn't keep things from her. Aside from Edward's Execution, I too kept my pain hidden deep inside. I didn't want to upset Bella by crying but sometimes (all the time), when I was alone...I would take the time to let my mind drift to my fading memories of Jasper...

Some of them made me laugh or smile...but most of them just ended in my tears. And if I was stressed out like I was now, it would turn into silent sobs, as far away from Bella as possible so she couldn't hear or find me if she left her room (though she seldom did).

When I started getting my pregnant belly (mommy-tummy), I think that's when it actually hit me; That's when I really realized that I was actually preganant with Jasper's son or daughter and that he would never be able to see them...or help me to raise them. I often wondered if I would be able to care for my baby- our baby- properly. It seemed impossible, but I told myself over and over again that I had to try. And when I was told it might be twins, both my fears and determination were doubled. I hadn't told her just yet...but I would tell her soon...

I searched for hours, it seemed but I was unable to find her. I was escorted by the guards back to the castle; I kept my eyes on the floor the whole time, telling myself Bella was okay, though that was unlikely. But I tried not to think of what might have happened to her...or what she might have done to herself. She had become more and more depressed over the months...

As soon as I made my way to my room, I sped up, breathing heavily most likely from the sobs and crying and tears I was forcing back. But I reminded myself what the doctor told me every visit: That keeping all these emotions inside weren't good for the baby. But that wouldn't be good for Bella either...I wanted to be strong.

The compromise I'd made with myself worked though; I cried when I was alone. I slammed the door, locked it tight and once I was on my bed, I allowed myself to cry. I cried harder than any other night. I had so much more to cry over...

A/N: Now we are back to the present. I'll do more of Alice's flash back in the next few chapters, so don't be confused if I do this again. It you find this silly and confusing, tell me and I'll jsu edit the story so Alice's POVs will be earlier in the story. It will start when Bella came back after that first visit from Edward. I'll try to incorporate Alice a little more. Any way... Here's what happened last time...

But I just couldn't stand to live this thing they called "life" anymore. It was already miserable when I thought Edward was dead and never coming back, but it seemed like today, after that huge disappointment, that my misery had grown and was too heavy for me to handle. And now, there was that temptation of being so close to Edward. Because now, I feared nothing except maybe the pain I knew wouldn't last and now I knew that Edward would be there waiting for me and ready and willing to spend the rest of eternity with me.

It was settled; I would forever leave this place. Eternally and forever...

Princess Isabella's POV

With a shakey hand, I reached for something and anything that might help me with my self assigned task; A sharp rock, perhaps. I didn't really care, so long as it would end my life...solve my problems. But it felt like I was already dead; Like my body moved on it's own doing what I myself would have been too afraid to do to myself. But...wasn't it still me? I was actually afraid of myself as I saw my hand grab hold of a sharp rock. I didn'y feel sure about this anymore. My heart sped up at a remarkable speed, my eyes grew wide with terror.

But...I knew that there must be some part of me that wanted to do this and was allowing my body to do so and that is what scared me the most; The fact that I wanted to cause myself pain and I thought it would be worth it. And even it was...my body's movements still seemed foreign to me. But I thought about Edward, waiting for me and the pearly gates, escorting me inside and ready to spend forever together. I missed him and I knew he must have missed me. Edward wanted this to...

I continued to convince myself about this and I actually suceeded. And the rest of my body's movements now became all my own. I moved the rock between my hands, hoping it was sharp enough. It looked like it could pierce my skin skin deep enough...

But another part of my body seized control again, or so it seemed. I don't know why but I suddenly felt so depressed...I just wanted to cause more pain to myself...

I held the rock to my opposite wrists, applying more pressure with each second. It pierced my flesh, more painful than I ever thought it would be. But it...almost felt...good. I felt so ashamed afterwards, as I ripped my skin further.

I screamed, though the cut was not as deep as it felt. But the pain was sharp and blood flowed from the wound, making me feel dizzy and sick. It all seemed to be happening in a rush...fast and excruciating. Now I only wanted this to be over sooner.

Edward's POV (Before Bella's 'Accident')

I watched my Bella, thinking, or rather praying that she wouldn't do anything stupid or hold my absense against me in anyway; If she ended up hurting herself in anyway...I wouldn't be able to live with myself. I hoped she could just try and understand and just try to realize why I can't be there now...

When she finally stopped crying, I sighed in relief; Tomorrow, I would go to her and explain wh I couldn't be with her today. Everything would have been fine...but she didn't leave.

"Bella?" I asked; I was afraid for her. I didn't have a clue what she was doing as she picked up a rock...pressed it to her soft and gentle skin...

I didn't believe what she had really done; I thought I imagined it, but the screams which came from her lungs and filled the night were too real for me to have thought up. I screamed her name as I ran down to help her. I had a guess of what she would do next...and I hoped to god that I was wrong.

A/N: I'm typing write now, don't get you undies in a bunch!!