Chapter 7

Claire took a deep sigh as she added one more mile to the distance she'd covered in the kitchen. For the past half an hour she had been trying to leave the house and go tell Alex the truth about that memorable night. She knew she had to do it, she just wasn't sure she would find the courage to. But she was Claire McLeod, she was tough and she had to face whatever was going to happen.

She finally took one last breath and went out of the kitchen. As soon as she left the house, she noticed Alex's car pulling up. Her heart started beating faster as she knew that the time has come for her to come clean with Alex.

When he got out of the car, she started getting more and more nervous, but she was determined to make sure Alex knew the truth as soon as possible. She also wanted to make the process of telling him really quick, though she didn't have a slightest idea how to achieve that.

"Hello, Claire." Alex said as he approached her.

"Good day." She replied and for a moment tried to find the right words to start the conversation she knew she had to have with him. "Listen, I am sorry about what happened the other day at the pub."

"Yeah, what was that about?" he asked curious.

"Can we talk inside?" she suggested and he was surprised at how serious she sounded. Was he in that much trouble?

They slowly made their way to the Drovers kitchen where Alex sat down at the table, but Claire couldn't bring herself to do it.

"From what I noticed, it looks like I did something to piss you off and now you're mad at me." He asked looking at her intensely waiting for confirmation. But it didn't exactly happen. He was a little surprised by it, but decided to wait for her to explain everything. For a moment they just looked at each other in silence. "What is it, Claire?" he asked.

"Alex." She finally started. "You are probably going to hate me when I tell you this, but I think it's in both our best interests that you know the truth." She let out a deep sigh.

"The truth?" he asked a little baffled. "Geez, Claire, you're really scaring me here. What is it? What did I do?"

"It's not so much what you did, but more what we did."

"We?" he had no idea what she was talking about. "Why would you be mad about something that we both did?"

"I'm not mad about what we did. As a matter of fact I'm not mad at all. Actually I don't really know." She said after a while, still trying to understand herself what she was saying.

"You don't know whether you're mad? That's usually something that you knows."

"Yes, usually." Claire agreed. "But this is not usually. This is something that never happens. This is something that never should have happened. But it did, because you were drunk and I was stupid and I know I should have stopped it, but I didn't because you were being so adorable and…"

"Claire, Claire, Claire, slow down." He put both his hands on her shoulders. "I have no idea what you're trying to tell me. Can you please explain it?"

"OK." She took another deep breath. "Do you remember the night a couple of days ago when you guys came over and we hang out? We drank a couple of beers and then were sitting on the porch and talking?"

Her heart started beating faster and faster as she was trying to tell him the truth. Looking straight into his eyes, she felt weak in her knees, which was something that she hadn't felt in a long time. Or as a matter of fact, she didn't know if she'd ever felt that weak in the knees.

"To be honest, I remember that there was a night that we came over, but I don't remember much about it." He answered with a sigh. "I can hardly remember anything. Why? What did I do? Oh my God, did I do something really stupid? Or did I hurt anyone?"

"Alex, I told you. This is not about what you did. This is about what we did. You and me."

"I don't understand." Alex seemed to be totally lost.

"Well…" Claire finally started. "You had one beer to many and I decided to drive you home." She decided to leave out the 'I love you more than the chopper' confession for now. It wasn't that important, considering what happened later. She was trying to avoid his eyes, but it was really hard to do, as he was watching her closely. He was watching her every wink, every breath, every deep sigh. It was the most intimidating feeling she had ever felt. Or at least in a long time. And it was at that moment that she realized that she would not be able to tell him the truth. She just couldn't. "I walked you to the car and we started driving, but you realized that we were out of beer so you had ma drive all the way to Gungellan to get more." 'Oh my God, that is the stupidest story I have ever heard.' Claire thought to herself, but it was the only thing she could come up with under so much pressure.

Alex shot her an 'I don't get you, woman' look as he was waiting for her to say something more. But she didn't.

"That's it?" he asked, sounding almost a little disappointed. "That's why you were acting so funny around me? Because you drove me to Gungellan for beer when I was wasted?"

Claire realized how ridiculous that sounded, but she decided to stick to this story until she gathers enough courage to tell Alex the truth. Which could very well be never, and she was very well aware of that fact.

"Yeah." She said quietly. "Because it was so stupid. You were drunk and I should have taken you straight home and not let you drink anymore. But you were so persuasive and I just couldn't resist." The last part was of course true, but it pertained to slightly different circumstances than those described by Claire. She felt like such an idiot making up this story, but for the time being she felt like it was better than telling Alex the truth.

"And just how exactly was that supposed to make me hate you?" he asked.

"Did I say hate? Really?" she was simply playing dumb now. "Well I guess it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be."

"Oh give me a break, mate." He laughed. "This is nothing. Why are you getting so worked up about it? It's fine, no big deal." He added and looked into her eyes to make sure she was alright. She was trying her best to convince him that she indeed was.

"Are you sure?" she decided to play along to her stupid, stupid lie.

"Of course. Why would you worry so much about it?"

"I don't know, I just thought…"

"Well then next time don't think, but talk to me, OK?" he smiled. "It wasn't that bad, was it?" he poked her playfully on the arm.

"No it wasn't." she admitted and smiled back, trying to keep her composure.

"Well, listen, I would love to stay and hang out, but I have lots of work to do, so I'm afraid I'm gonna have to head out." He said as he stood up. "But I'm glad we cleared everything up." He said as he pulled her in for a hug. His touch almost made her lose control the same way she did that night. When he finally let go of her and looked into her eyes, she was so afraid that he was gonna figure out that something was still wrong. But he didn't. "So we're good?" he asked hopeful.

"Sure." She answered as she smiled at him. "See you."

"Yeah, later." He answered and headed for the exit. He bumped into Tess on his way out. She was a little bit nervous knowing what he had just talked about with Claire, but she decided to talk to him anyway.

"Hey Alex, how is it going?"

"Good, good." He replied.

"So did you talk to Claire?" she asked a bit uncomfortable. "Did she tell you? About that night I mean?"

"Yeah, she did."

"And are you guys OK?"

"Yeah, we're fine. That was no big deal after all." He said as he headed towards his car.

No big deal? 'Oh Claire' Tess sighed as she had a pretty good idea why it was no big deal to Alex.

"You didn't tell him, did you?" she asked as she entered the kitchen.

"How do you know?" Claire was curious.

"I just bumped into Alex and he told me it was no big deal." Tess laughed.

Claire sent her a 'don't kill me' look.

"I tried, Tess, I really did, but he was looking at me and the words just didn't come out." She started explaining, as she knew how disapproving Tess was going to be of not telling Alex.

"So what did you tell him?"

"Some crappy story about how I drove him to town for more beer." Tess tried to say something, but Claire interrupted. "Don't even say it. I know how stupid that is."

"Yeah, almost as stupid as you sleeping with Alex." Tess joked, but Claire didn't find that funny at all. At least not at the beginning. She sent Tess an icy look, but couldn't help and started laughing as well.