Author's Notes: Whoo for chapter dos! Thank you all so much for the wonderful reviews on chapter one! It means a lot. I have to warn you all…I start school on Monday the 12th, and I am taking seventeen hours this semester, so you probably won't be seeing a lot of updates. I will try my best to update as often as possible, but new chapters may be few and far between. Besides, this is me we're talking about, and I suck at keeping up with multi-chaptered fics…but we'll see. Also, Seth plays hockey for University of Washington, but they don't REALLY have a hockey team…so we are going to pretend that they do, okay? Yes, I am lame enough to check out the details. Why? Because I can, goddammit. Anyway, read, enjoy, review.
--
"Why does this hotel smell so fucking bad?" Eric Cartman asked. Wendy rolled her eyes. They had just walked in and already that fat tub of lard was bitching about the smell. She couldn't believe she had to deal with him for the whole convention. The less time she spent with him, the better.
"Cartman, the hotel doesn't smell bad. You're fucking delusional." Mandi replied, rolling her eyes.
"Fuck you, bitch. It smells like ass and sweat in here." Cartman replied, making a disgusted face.
"Maybe the smell is you, asshole. Jesus, shower much?" Mandi asked, glaring at him.
"At least I don't fuck my way through the class of 2005, whore." Cartman replied, glaring right back.
"Fuck you, Cartman! I'm not fucking my way through the class of 2005." Mandi replied, looking like she was going to haul off and smack the shit out of him.
"Whatever, skank. Your little British boyfriend wasn't enough to satisfy you, so you went and found that juicy beef injection somewhere else. Not too shocking though. Everyone knows Kyren takes it in the ass anyway." Cartman replied, smirking.
"Fuck you, Cartman! You don't know what the fuck you're talking about, you fat piece of shit!" Mandi screeched, turning red.
"Oh-oh, so I hit a nerve!" Cartman replied, beaming.
"Cartman, you can fucking suck my ass. Suck it long and suck it hard, kind of like what your mother does with every penis in South Park. Including her own." Mandi replied, still red.
"And you would know a lot about sucking penis, wouldn't you, Mandi? We all know what you did with Scott Tenorman." Cartman replied.
"You have no idea what happened there, so you can shut the fuck up, Cartman." Mandi replied, rolling her eyes.
"Of course I know what happened there. He was your shoulder to cry on when Kyren decided he wanted to take it in the ass, and he somehow worked that lock on your chastity belt and popped your cherry. You're pissed because you let him. But you're also glad you did it because he introduced you to the pleasures of the flesh, and now you can't get enough of it." Cartman replied, grinning.
"I…you…fuck you!" Mandi replied, turning purple now.
"You also want to blame him for the entire thing when it was really mostly your idea. You wanted to piss that limey pussy Kyren off, so you decided to fuck some guy you barely knew. You'd like to pass that shit off as an attempted rape, but we both know that you wanted it just as much as he did. Which is disturbing, because how old is he? Like, thirty? Is that even legal?" Cartman continued, smirking some more.
"Fuck off, asshole!" Mandi replied, looking close to tears. Cartman knew how to push buttons.
"I've got your number, bitch." Cartman replied, smirking again.
"Whatever, Cartman. You don't know anything." Mandi replied, looking at the floor.
"And your little boyfriend, this one's brother? What the hell do you think he wants from you? He heard how fucking easy you are, how fast you went down on Scott Tenorman." Cartman continued, an evil little gleam in his eye.
"Shut up, you two. Jesus Christ, people are staring." Wendy replied, rolling her eyes. And people said that she and Cartman were once bad.
"That stupid whore started it." Cartman replied, glaring at Mandi.
"Mandi started it…what are you, in first grade, Cartman?" Wendy replied, rolling her eyes.
"First grade? That's like a compliment to that stupid piece of shit, Wendy." Mandi replied, texting Seth as she talked.
"What are you doing now, texting your little boyfriend so he can come and attempt to satisfy your insatiable appetite for sex?" Cartman replied, smirking again.
"Actually, I'm telling him what a fucking dick you are so that he can come and kick your ass." Mandi replied, glaring at him.
"Goddammit you two, is it going to be like this the entire goddamn trip?" Wendy replied, rubbing her temples.
"I told you, that stupid slut started it." Cartman replied, shrugging.
Wendy jumped out of the way as Mandi flew at Cartman. Wonderful.
--
Bebe tugged at her tank top as she walked towards the lawn and garden department of J-Mart. She knew that Lexus was working with Craig, and she wanted to look like the classier one, the better choice. The hot cheerleader look-alike like Lexus was, but without the herpes. Today was the day she needed to decide. She had to figure out whether or not she could salvage her relationship with Craig. She heard him before she saw him. He was laughing at something a distinctly feminine voice was saying. Probably Lexus. She rolled her eyes and walked up behind him and tapped his shoulder. He spun around and his grin widened.
"Hey babe. I didn't think you were coming today." he said, hugging her.
"Yeah, well, here I am." she replied, pulling away and shrugging.
"My lunch break starts in five minutes. I get an hour today because we're slow." he said, grinning at her. She snuck a peek at Lexus and saw that she was glaring at her. Fabulous.
"An hour, you say? Want to hit a drive thru and then park somewhere? Somewhere…secluded?" she asked him, looking at Lexus as she said this. Lexus rolled her eyes and went back to re-stocking garden hoses.
"Secluded? Uh, sure." Craig replied, smiling.
"Great! Meet me out front in five, okay?" Bebe replied, grinning and walking off towards the front of the store. She made sure to sway her hips a little as she walked, giving Craig a nice little show. He had always told her that he loved her ass in the skirt she was wearing.
Ten minutes later, Bebe and Craig were en route to the city park, Happy Burger take out bags between them in the car. The park was the perfect place for them to go. Since the entire town was at the pool, the park was totally empty. Heat waves did that to South Park.
"So, you look hot today." Craig said, looking over and grinning at her as he put his turn signal on.
"Thanks." Bebe replied, smiling at him. So far, she was leaning towards working things out with him.
"So before you got there, Lexie was telling me this crazy story. It was hilarious." Craig said, grinning at the mere memory of what she had said. Bebe felt the white hot dagger of anger poke her.
"I'm glad you work with such a hilarious girl. Must relieve the workplace stress." she replied, gritting her teeth. Craig didn't seem to notice.
"Oh yeah, she's great. I don't know what I would do without her there." he replied, turning into the entrance of the park.
"You would probably get a lot more work done." Bebe replied, rolling her eyes.
"Yeah, probably. But who wants that?" Craig replied, grinning and parking.
"Probably your boss…" Bebe replied, taking her bag of food.
"Meh, fuck that cunt." Craig replied, grinning. Bebe rolled her eyes again.
"Good thing she doesn't hear how much you respect her." Bebe replied, eating a fry.
"Yeah yeah yeah." Craig replied, pulling the wrapper off of his burger.
"So, my parents are going out of town this weekend." Bebe said, smiling suggestively.
"Well that sucks. How long will you be gone?" Craig asked between bites of his burger.
"I'm not going. My parents are going." Bebe replied, taking a sip of her pop.
"So you'll be home alone, then?" Craig replied, finishing off his burger. Bebe rolled her eyes.
"Yeah, all alone." she replied, eating one of her chicken tenders.
"Wanna throw a party?" Craig asked, grinning.
"I was thinking just the two of us could do something. You know, alone." Bebe replied, grinning.
"Yeah, that one Smackdown is on on Saturday…we should watch it!" Craig replied. Bebe sighed and rolled her eyes. Wow, he was slower than she thought.
"Or we could do something else, Craig." she said, smiling as seductively as she knew how.
"Well, that biography of Bobby Knight is supposed to air this weekend…" he said, practically inhaling his fries.
"Or we could finish what we started last time we had a house to ourselves." Bebe said, looking down at her lap. She wasn't sure why she was being so sensitive about it, but seeing Craig and Lexus flirting had hit a nerve.
"You mean…" Craig said, his eyes widening.
"Sex. Yes, I mean sex, Craig." Bebe replied, smiling a little.
"Wow…well…wait…do you want to do it Saturday?" he asked, frowning a little.
"Yeah, that was what I was planning." Bebe replied, also frowning a little.
"Lexie wanted to get together and watch that Smackdown. She likes wrestling, you know." Craig replied, looking uncertain.
"Yeah, I'll bet she likes wrestling." Bebe mumbled.
"Huh?" Craig replied, throwing his trash in the Happy Burger bag.
"Nothing, nothing. So you would rather spend the evening with her, then?" Bebe asked, eating another chicken tender.
"I just promised her…" Craig said, frowning.
"Fine then. I'll just invite Rebecca over or something. No biggie." Bebe replied, frowning. She needed to talk to Rebecca anyway. Maybe she could help her figure out the situation since she and Stan had just been through it.
"You're mad. Why are you mad?" Craig asked, confused.
"Well, Craig…here's a hint. When your girlfriend says she wants to have sex and you tell her you would rather watch wrestling with another girl…" Bebe replied, rolling her eyes.
"Wait…are you…are you JEALOUS of Lexie?" Craig asked, his eyes widening. Bebe almost laughed.
"Jealous? She doesn't have much for me to be jealous of." Bebe replied.
"But you're…you're acting like girls act when they get jealous, Bebe." Craig replied, a clearly confused look on his face.
"What the hell does she have that I should be jealous of, Craig? Herpes? A few orgies with the entire football team under her belt?" Bebe replied, looking away.
"You're jealous!" Craig exclaimed.
"I am NOT jealous!" Bebe replied, her voice getting louder.
"Are you…do you…do you think I'm having an affair with her or something?" Craig asked.
"An affair? What are we, married?" Bebe replied, rolling her eyes.
"You are mad. Now you're acting like you don't care." Craig replied, looking genuinely confused. What the hell was up her ass?
"It doesn't matter. I'm sorry I asked you to come to my house on Saturday. You obviously have other things that you would rather do." Bebe replied, her voice quivering.
"Look, Bebe, I'm not sure what your problem is…" Craig started, genuinely confused.
"You're not sure what my problem is? You don't remember what happened last week, do you?" Bebe said, interrupting him.
"What about last week?" Craig asked, puzzled. Like he remembered. He couldn't remember what he had for breakfast. Fuck, he couldn't remember what he'd had for lunch, and he had just finished with that.
"We almost had sex, remember? And then when I said I wasn't ready, that I didn't want to go THAT far, you got all pissy. Then you told me that maybe we weren't together because we cared about each other, maybe it was just a comfort thing. How the fuck is that supposed to make me feel, Craig? And then you go off and make plans with that little slut, Lexus. Like I don't matter! So excuse me, Craig, for being a little worried about our relationship right now!" Bebe said, crying a little.
"Don't call Lexie a slut, Bebe." Craig replied, annoyed.
"Is that all you heard of my entire speech? Jesus Christ, Craig!" Bebe yelled, smacking the dashboard in frustration.
"I'm just tired of you insulting my friends, that's all." Craig replied, eyeing Bebe's fingernails. He really didn't want those in his eyes.
"Oh, so you two are friends now? I try to have a serious conversation with you about our relationship, and all you can do is talk about Lexus!" Bebe replied, seriously considering smacking the shit out of him.
"We're talking about our relationship? I thought we were talking about sex." Craig replied, frowning.
"Oh goddammit Craig, that is fucking IT! I've had it! I am fucking done with this." Bebe replied, smacking his dashboard again.
"Good, I'm done too. Want to see a movie tonight?" Craig replied.
"SEE A MOVIE? SEE A FUCKING MOVIE?" Bebe screamed.
"Yes…see a movie…" Craig replied, confused again.
"NO I DON'T WANT TO SEE A MOVIE!" Bebe screeched. A squirrel that was on a nearby park bench flinched. Craig felt sorry for him.
"Okay…we don't have to see a movie. Jesus Christ. Calm down." Craig replied.
"Do you even know what just happened?" Bebe replied, crying again. What the fuck?
"You said you don't want to see a movie. It's fine, Lexie is having a pool party anyway. I'll just go to that." Craig replied, shrugging.
"Craig, are you REALLY that fucking stupid? REALLY?" Bebe replied, her eyes widening.
"Stupid enough to go to a pool party?" Craig replied, raising his eyebrows. What the hell was she on? It was ninety degrees outside. He would be stupid NOT to go.
"I just broke up with you, you fucking moron. That's what I meant when I said I was done." Bebe replied, very slowly. As if she were speaking to a small child. A small retarded child, at that.
"Wait…we just broke up? You dumped me? Why?" Craig asked, hurt creeping into his features.
"Wow, you are way dumber than I thought, Craig. That's pretty fucking bad." Bebe replied, getting out of his car.
"Where are you going?" Craig asked.
"Um, away. That's what a break up means…I go away. Permanently." she replied, rolling her eyes.
"You're going to walk?" Craig replied, frowning.
"Yes, I'm going to walk. I don't want to be around you right now, Craig." Bebe replied, slamming the door.
"Fine then! Fucking walk!" Craig said, glaring at her.
"I've already established that I'm doing that…" Bebe replied, rolling her eyes and walking towards the road.
"Bebe, come on. We need to talk." Craig replied, getting out of the car and walking towards her.
"I tried to talk to you. All you want to do is talk about your little thrill on the side." Bebe replied, walking faster.
"Bebe, goddammit. Stop!" Craig said, jogging up to her and grabbing her shoulder.
"Take your fucking hands off of me!" Bebe screeched, smacking him.
"Jesus Christ, okay!" Craig said, backing off.
"You need to get back to work." Bebe replied, glancing at her watch.
"I don't want to go back to work. Not when we're fighting like this." Craig said, crossing his arms.
"We're not fighting, Craig. We're over. Broken up. Done." Bebe replied, rolling her eyes.
"Goddammit Bebe, please talk to me." Craig replied, starting to touch her again but changing his mind.
"You can come to my house tonight and pick up your shit, okay? I'll have it boxed for you and waiting." Bebe said. Then she turned and walked out of the park. And out of Craig's life. That too.
--
"That stupid son of a bitch. I can't believe him. I never went down on Scott Tenorman!" Mandi said, pacing back and forth in she and Wendy's shared hotel room.
"It's Cartman. He says shit to press people's buttons, Mandi." Wendy replied, rolling her eyes. She didn't feel like dealing with their bullshit.
"But it's not true! Where did he even hear that?" Mandi said, stopping to kick a chair.
"He probably made it up. Can you two just let this go? Please? I don't feel like dealing with this." Wendy replied, rubbing her temples. She felt a migraine coming.
"If your brother hears that…if he thinks I did that to Scott…I told him I wouldn't do that to him! It's disgusting! I won't do that to anyone!" Mandi said, sitting on the edge of her bed.
"Okay, one, sick. I don't want to know what you and my brother do, okay? That's fucking disgusting. Two…Cartman just made that up to get to you, and it obviously worked. My brother is not going to hear about it unless you run and tell him about it. So just shut up. Jesus Christ." Wendy replied, seriously considering throwing a pillow at her. Or picking the lock on the liquor cabinet in their room. That one sounded better.
"I'm sorry if I'm bitching. Just…he hurt my feelings when he said all that. He was right. I do regret having sex with Scott. I mean, I know you don't know anything about bad relationships, but it makes me feel horrible knowing that I did that. I didn't even love Scott!" Mandi replied, actually starting to cry. Wendy sighed and tossed the box of Kleenex that was sitting on the nightstand between their two beds at her.
"I'm sorry, Mandi. Cartman is a dick. He will say anything to make you cry." Wendy replied, shrugging. What could she really say?
"And Kyren isn't even gay. I don't know why everyone says that about him. It's not right." Mandi replied, crying even more. Fuck.
"Don't worry about what he says about Kyren. You guys broke up awhile ago. Screw him." Wendy replied, not wanting to trample through that obvious minefield. It didn't take a genius to figure out that Mandi still had some unresolved feelings there.
"I know, I know. I'm sorry for falling apart like this. It's just…he really gets to me. He says all of these horrible things about people and it's like no one cares. He's such a bastard." Mandi replied, wiping her eyes with one of the Kleenexes.
Before she could respond, Wendy's cell phone started blaring "Wind Beneath My Wings" by Bette Midler, which was her ring tone for Bebe. It was a lame inside joke between them. They didn't actually like the godawful movie that the stupid song was from.
"It's Bebe, I have to take this." Wendy said to Mandi as she walked into the bathroom and shut the door.
"That's okay, I'll just…"Mandi replied, the rest of what she was saying becoming muffled as Wendy shut the bathroom door.
"Hey. Thank God you called." Wendy said, answering her phone.
"Wendy?" Bebe asked, her voice sounding weird.
"Yeah…are you okay?" Wendy replied, concerned.
"I just broke up with Craig." Bebe replied, sounding uncertain.
"You broke up with him?" Wendy asked, shocked.
"Yes, I broke up with him. He's an asshole." Bebe replied, bitterness evident in her voice.
"Oh…wow…" Wendy replied, not sure what to say.
"I don't know what to do now." Bebe said.
"What do you mean? You move on…" Wendy replied, raising an eyebrow.
"No, I mean…I left my purse in his car. I had my phone in the pocket of my skirt. My car keys are in my purse and I'm kind of stuck by the park." Bebe replied.
"He made you walk?!" Wendy asked, incredulous.
"Well, he didn't make me. I sort of got out of his car and told him to leave me alone after we broke up." Bebe replied.
"Wait…so you're by the park?" Wendy asked, trying to piece the whole story together.
"Yeah, we went to the park to eat lunch and talk, and then we had a fight…" Bebe said, sounding close to tears again.
"Maybe you should start from the beginning…" Wendy said, sighing and taking a seat on the floor. This would take awhile.
"Well, this is what happened…" Bebe said, starting the story.
--
Jessica Testaburger had finally convinced her brother to take her to J-Mart. It was under the guise of getting ice cream, but Seth knew better. He had dropped her off in front of the main doors and told her to hurry the hell up, but they both knew he was just kidding. He had nothing better to do since his girlfriend was in DC with Wendy. She pulled out her compact and did a quick make-up check. Perfect. She already knew that before she looked, but she needed that quick little self-esteem boost. She stopped off in the women's bathroom at the front of the store before she headed to her destination. She stared at her reflection in the mirror. She had put her hair into two pigtails, but now she was starting to re-think it. It made her look too young. She unbraided her hair quickly and brushed it out with her fingers. It had a nice wave to it, but she knew that it would eventually frizz out. Sighing, she pulled it back into a high ponytail. Very bouncy, very cute. She did a quick outfit check next. She had chosen a pink spaghetti strap top that showed off her tan and jean shorts. The shorts weren't TOO short. She didn't want to come off as easy, after all. Though she supposed he might appreciate her more if she were easy. But Jessica didn't want to be super easy. Jessica wanted to be a challenge. She re-applied her cherry flavored lip gloss and did a quick cleavage adjustment. Perfect. She tossed her hair back in that way that only cheerleaders had perfected and sashayed out of the bathroom and towards the food aisles. She knew that he would be stocking cans somewhere near there, and she wanted to talk to him. He was, after all, the reason she had gone to J-Mart. Fuck the ice cream, she wanted a cone of Kenny. As she got closer, however, she realized that she would need to grab something to make it look like she hadn't just gone there to talk to him. That made her look way too desperate. She grabbed a jar of mayonnaise that was on display next to her and a pair of gardening gloves that were laying next to the mayonnaise. Perfect. She tossed her hair again as she caught sight of Kenny near the health and beauty aisle. God, he looked hot. She walked right past him, pretending not to notice. Then she did a faux double take and walked back towards him. He didn't notice.
"Kenny! Hey, I didn't know you worked here." she said, smiling. Kenny just raised an eyebrow at her.
"Really? That's funny…I've told you about five different times that I do. I even brought you an application once, didn't I?" he replied, smirking. Shit.
"Oh…well…I guess it must have slipped my mind." she replied, grinning.
"So…you're buying…gardening gloves and mayonnaise." he said, eyeing the things in her hands. He shook his head. He really didn't want to know what the hell people did with their purchases once they left the store. Some of them were just too fucked up for him to even attempt to wrap his mind around.
"Yeah…my mom…she needed, uh…these gloves. And the mayonnaise for her…uh…for her athlete's foot." Jessica replied, staring at the athlete's foot cream that Kenny was stocking.
"Mayonnaise for her athlete's foot? Really?" Kenny replied, raising his eyebrows.
"Yeah, uh…home remedy." Jessica replied, shrugging. Fuck, she was stupid.
"This might work a little bit better, don't you think?" Kenny replied, holding up a tube of the cream.
"Oh, you know my mom. She's into those home remedies, you know." Jessica replied, turning red. Fuck, she was REALLY stupid. Like he really wanted to hear about fucking athlete's foot.
"So is that all you're going to buy?" he asked, going back to stocking the cream.
"Oh, well, I thought I might buy some ice cream." she said, shrugging. Shit, why did she say that? Now he was going to think she was a fat cow who ate all the goddamn time. Wonderful.
"Ice cream? Really?" he asked, looking at her legs. Shit, he was probably checking out how fat her thighs were.
"Oh, well, I'm not sure. Maybe not." she replied, feeling self-conscious.
"I didn't take you for an ice cream kind of girl. You're way too skinny for that." he replied, grinning. She relaxed.
"I like ice cream." she replied, grinning flirtatiously.
"Well, if you like ice cream, then I guess I'll have to take you to get some tonight." he replied, winking. She blushed hardcore.
"Tonight? What time?" she asked, trying to hold in her squeal.
"Oh, I don't know. I'll get there when I get there. Could be five, could be six. Could be eight. But it's probably going to be around seven." he said, winking.
"Well, hopefully I'll be home. See you then. Maybe." she replied, turning and walking off, making sure to wiggle her ass a little. She knew he was watching. Katie would kill her for getting a date with her older brother, but Jessica didn't care. Kenny was amazing. She definitely had it bad. She grinned all the way up to the checkout lane where she saw her brother. He was buying chocolate syrup and condoms, and she wasn't about to ask. She put her stuff down before he saw her and walked up to him, still grinning.
"Where's your ice cream?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.
"What ice cream?" she asked, confused.
"Nevermind." he replied, rolling his eyes. He knew it was some boy thing.
--
Stan Marsh plopped down on the towel next to his girlfriend, Red. He knew she was going to smack him for getting her wet, but he didn't care. She was cute when she got mad at him. Instead of getting mad, however, she sat up and grinned at him.
"Having fun swimming?" she asked, taking her sunglasses off.
"Yeah, the water is great. You should get in." he replied, wondering how the girl who had called him at nine that morning, begging him to spend the day at the pool with her could sunbathe all day.
"Maybe later. I need to work on my tan." she replied.
"But it's so hot…" Stan replied, shocked. It was supposed to reach ninety-four, which was a record for South Park. Everyone who didn't have their own pool had flocked to the South Park city one. It hadn't even gotten up to eighty-five the summer before, but he and Rebecca had still been at the pool every single day, having diving contests and playing games. Kyle and his then girlfriend had gone with them a few times, but his girlfriend had always wanted to work on her tan. Rebecca had always made fun of her for it. Rebecca had had a better tan than anyone at the pool and she hadn't even tried. Stan had always found that hilarious.
"What are you thinking about? You're smiling." Red said, crashing his train of thought. Shit, he couldn't tell Red about his Rebecca thoughts. She would just read too much into it and get pissed at him. She didn't want him to even think about Rebecca. She was still pretty insecure about their relationship. So insecure that she insisted on dragging Stan to Tweek's Coffee whenever she could so that she could make sure Rebecca saw them together. She said it was something about marking her territory, but Stan just thought it was stupid and that it probably hurt Rebecca's feelings. He could see the look in her eyes whenever he touched Red in her presence.
"Oh, you know. Just you." he replied, hoping that would be a good enough save.
"Aww, Stanny, you're such a sweetheart." Red replied, blushing.
"I try." he replied, grinning and shrugging.
"It's why I love you." Red said, laying back on her towel. A white hot dagger of panic pierced Stan's heart. Love?
"Did you just…?" he asked, after a few minutes of silence.
"Yeah, I did." Red replied, smiling softly. Holy shit, she was serious. They hadn't been together for very long, though. They had only started becoming friends in January when his manager at Shaky's Pizza had hired her and he had been the one to train her. He hadn't meant to develop feelings for her, but he had anyway. Rebecca hadn't been too happy when he had started hanging out with Red outside of school and work, but she had never openly told him that he couldn't see her. He had finally gotten the courage to break up with Rebecca over spring break, when she had been in Myrtle Beach with Bebe and Bebe's parents. He had done it over the phone, but he had still done it. Kyle had called him a pussy for taking the easy way out and calling her, but he didn't care. He and Red had started officially dating a couple of weeks later, and they had gone to Prom together, despite the fact that he had already promised Rebecca that he would go with her. Rebecca hadn't been too happy with that one either, but it didn't matter. He and Red had probably been together three and half months so far, but she was already dropping L bombs. That just made Stan nervous. He didn't know how he felt…
--
After about an hour, Bebe had finally finished telling Wendy the harrowing tale of her break-up with Craig. Wendy wasn't sure what to say.
"It's not like I said those things about Lexus just to be a bitch. I mean, a girl like her has a reputation for a reason, right?" Bebe asked, her frown evident in her voice.
"Yeah, I guess…" Wendy said, still unsure about what to say or do. Bebe sounded like she could take back her decision at any second and she didn't want to steer her back to Craig. Just as she was about to try to say something else, her phone rang. Caller ID told her that it was her sister, so she told Bebe that she would call her back and clicked over. Before she could say anything, her sister started talking.
"I have a date with him tonight!" she exclaimed.
"With who?" Wendy asked, confused. She wasn't aware of any crushes of Jessica's.
"Kenny! Kenny McCormick!" Jessica replied, sounding like she was ready to burst.
"Kenny asked you out?" Wendy replied, genuinely shocked. And somewhat appalled. She knew that Kenny had his reputation for a reason too.
"Yes, Kenny asked me out! Can you believe it? What should I wear?" Jessica replied, giggling like an idiot.
"Um…Jessica…look who we're talking about. You shouldn't wear anything because you shouldn't go. He is way too old for you!" Wendy replied, her mother streak showing. She could almost hear Jessica roll her eyes.
"Oh please, Wendy. He's not THAT much older than me. It's just two years!" Jessica exclaimed.
"And that two years is a lot when you're in high school!" Wendy replied.
"Mandi and Seth have two years between them." Jessica replied.
"And no one ever said it was a good idea for them to date, did they?" Wendy replied, rolling her eyes. Plus it was a little different with those two. Mandi was officially eighteen as of two weeks before the DC trip and Seth wouldn't be twenty until December. Mandi wasn't a stupid fifteen-year old girl with a crush on the school's official manwhore.
"But no one tries to stop them! Now come on, help me. What should I wear?" Jessica asked, desperate for her older sister's help. Wendy sighed very loudly.
"Goddammit, Jessica. You don't need to go out with Kenny McCormick. He only wants one thing from you, and you don't need to give up your virginity to him. He's a manwhore and you are going to get pig herpes from him!" Wendy replied, seriously wanting to go through the phone and hit her sister in the head.
"God, Wendy, you are so negative. Kenny likes me for me, not for what's in my pants. I'm sorry I called you to ask for your help. I can figure this out for myself." Jessica replied, quite icily. She hung up the phone, resisting the urge to throw it at the wall.
"Kenny? Kenny McCormick?" Seth asked, walking in the room. Jessica jumped about three feet in the air.
"God, Seth, give me a heart attack, why don't you?" she asked, clutching her chest. Seth ignored her.
"Answer my question. Kenny McCormick?" he asked, his eyes narrowing.
"Oh God, not you too!" Jessica replied, putting her hands on her hips.
"You have no business going out with him." Seth said, sitting down on her bed.
"What is so wrong with Kenny?" Jessica asked, rolling her eyes.
"He uses girls for sex. He'll go out with you, get in your pants, and then dump you." Seth replied.
"He will not! Kenny likes me!" Jessica replied.
"Yeah, I think not. You don't need to go out with him, Jess. I don't want you to do something you regret and then get hurt. You're too young for that shit." Seth replied, playing with a pillow on her bed.
"And what are you going to do? You can't stop me." Jessica replied, raising her eyebrows.
"No, I can't stop you personally. I can tell the parental units about Kenny, though. I doubt Mom would like her baby going out with a dirty pervert such as Kenny McCormick." Seth replied, grinning.
"I also doubt Mom would appreciate the fact that her precious baby boy was fucking his girlfriend on every surface of our house." Jessica replied, a glint in her eye.
"No, probably not. That's why I'm not." Seth replied, shrugging.
"But can you prove it? I mean, I think she might believe me over you. I walked into the living room and saw you two going at it on the couch, and now I'm scarred for life…" Jessica replied, narrowing her eyes.
"She'll never believe you." Seth replied, looking nervous. Oh yes she would. Even though it wasn't true.
"I can also tell her about the condoms and the chocolate syrup." Jessica said, smirking.
"How did you know about those?" Seth replied, looking shocked.
"I have eyes, dumbass." Jessica replied, rolling said eyes.
--
It had taken four hours, but Bebe had finally found everything of Craig's that was in her house. Everything from his old football jersey that she slept in to a few CD's and DVD's he had left there. She boxed it all up and labeled it, and sent Craig a text message to remind him that she wanted him to pick it up. He needed to drop by anyway since her purse was still in his car and her car was still in the J-Mart parking lot since her keys were in her purse. Lovely. She knew he got off at five, so she made sure that everything was ready by then. She sat down in her living room, channel surfing and waiting for him to haul his ass over. She hoped he wouldn't stop to get her things from his house. She had always made sure that she didn't leave things at his house. She was sensible like that, Besides, they hardly ever spent time at his house. It was always either at hers or out somewhere. At 5:15, he pulled into her driveway. She picked up the box and walked outside to greet him. She peeked inside her car and saw that Lexus was actually sitting in his front seat. Asshole. She bit her tongue to keep from screaming and handed him the box.
"Thanks." he said, looking down.
"Um…I left my purse in your car earlier. It has my keys in it." she replied, glancing at the front seat of his car. Lexus waved at her.
"Oh, uh, about her…" Craig said, turning red.
"I don't care, Craig." Bebe said, approaching his car. She saw her purse on the passenger side floor.
"Hey Bebe." Lexus said cheerily. Bebe rolled her eyes.
"Can you hand me the purse on the floor, please, Lexus?" Bebe asked. Lexus handed it to her through the open window.
"Here you go. And it's Lexie, Bebe." Lexus said, smiling.
"Thanks, Lexus." Bebe replied, walking back to her front door.
"Bebe, wait!" Craig said. She turned around just as she was about to open the door.
"What?" she asked, annoyed.
"What about your stuff?" Craig asked, a pained look on his face.
"You don't have anything of mine. I made sure of that." Bebe replied icily. She turned back around and went into her house, tossing a dirty look over her shoulder at Lexus before she slammed her front door. It took five minutes for Craig to back out of her driveway, but he finally did. She sat down on her couch and sighed. That hadn't been as hard as she thought it would. She was definitely better off.
--
Jessica glanced over at Kenny in the driver's side of the car. He grinned at her, and she blushed. It had taken awhile, but she had finally managed to persuade her mom into letting her go on the date. Seth had kept his mouth shut after she told him that she knew about the handcuffs too. In reality, she hadn't actually known that, she had just made that up. Apparently it was true, though. Seth had walked off, mumbling something about locking his door when he wasn't home. She hadn't seen him or heard from him since then.
"So, what do you want to do?" Kenny asked, glancing at her.
"I thought we were having ice cream?" she asked, smiling.
"Well, that was my clever way of asking you out. Obviously it worked." he replied, grinning at her in a way that sent shivers down her spine. Holy shit.
"I don't care. What do people usually do on dates?" she asked. Shit, that was probably bad. Now she was going to make herself look inexperienced.
"Well, how about we start with dinner?" he asked, grinning.
"Sounds good to me." she said, smiling back at him. He reached over and took her hand, and her heart almost beat itself out of her chest.
"How does Casa Bonita sound?" he asked her boobs.
"That place in Denver with the cliff divers?" she asked.
"Yeah. It's pretty sweet." he replied.
"I used to go there a lot when I was a kid." she replied, smiling. It had been a monthly thing for her family, back when Seth and Wendy weren't so busy.
"Oh yeah? That's cool." he replied, moving his hand to her bare knee. She had traded her shorts in for a skirt before the date and had changed into a lavender floral print short-sleeved blouse. To look better for the date, of course. He slowly worked his hand up to her thigh before she took his hand again. He just laughed at her.
--
Eric Cartman struggled to stay awake. He'd had a long day of training bullshit and now his semi-girlfriend, Heidi, wanted to talk to him about her day. Heidi was one of those people who never had anything exciting to her, so it was usually hard for Cartman to pay attention or care when she talked about it. Tonight, however, it was hard to stay awake.
"Are you listening to me?" she asked, sounding annoyed.
"Of course I am. Your grandma is in Florida, right?" Cartman asked, praying that that was what she had been talking about. He didn't want her to be pissed off at him again. Withholding sex was just torture.
"Okay…I guess you were listening…kind of." she replied, sounding less annoyed.
"Yeah babe, I always listen to you." he said, crossing his fingers. Well, it was half true. They weren't really dating anyway. They went out sometimes, but they were mostly just friends with benefits. They'd kept that arrangement since Prom when she had been his last resort date and he had found out that she was willing to have sex with him. Everyone else thought they were together, including Heidi herself. He had explained to her countless times that they were just friends with a nice benefits package, but the bitch wouldn't listen to him.
"Anyway, I went shoe shopping too." she said, starting another story. He rolled his eyes. Jesus Christ.
--
After Casa Bonita, Kenny had taken Jessica out for ice cream like he had promised her. He said she looked like she could use the extra calories because she was way too skinny. The heat had died down considerably by the time they finished eating, so when Jessica had suggested a walk in the park, Kenny had agreed. He had been less likely to have a heat stroke, after all. They had walked around for an hour, talking about school and life and other random stuff. By the time he took her home, he was sure that he would be getting something from her. He walked her to her door, hoping to at least kiss her.
"Well, I had a good time tonight." she said shyly, playing with a strand of her hair.
"Yeah, it was fun." he said, grinning.
"Well…maybe we can do it again sometime?" she said, not meeting his eyes. Aww, she was shy. That was adorable.
"Of course, babe. How about Friday night?" he asked, caressing her cheek. She practically melted into his touch. God, this girl wanted him bad.
"Friday night? That sounds good." she said, smiling.
He moved his hand from her cheek to her hair and stroked it. Then he leaned in and kissed her cheek. She pulled back and stared at him, confused.
"I don't want to rush things." he said, smiling at her. She smiled back."Oh…okay." she replied, grinning.
"Well, goodnight, Jess." he said, turning to leave. He walked out to his car and started it up, waiting until she was safely inside her house before backing out of her driveway. This one was going to be so easy. He gave it two months before he was in her panties.
--
Author's Notes: Haha, Kenny is a dirty, perverted bastard. How shocking, huh? Wendy's terrible mistake will come a little later. The next chapter is going to be the first day of school and beyond, so I'm skipping ahead about a month. They are going to start school on August 30th, then Wendy is going to make her mistake right around Homecoming, which will be in October. So chapter three, as I said, is the first day of school and beyond. Homecoming will probably be the fourth or fifth chapter, and then we'll have Wendy dealing with her mistake. This chapter will probably wind up being about twelve to fourteen chapters long, but that could change. Hopefully I will have a chance to update this soon.