Author's Notes: Yay for procrastinating on updating! Anyway, this is the big Homecoming chapter. We're skipping ahead to September 20, 2006, which is two weeks and three days before the Homecoming dance. This chapter will be mostly Homecoming preparations and such, but I am also introducing the Senior Service Project. Nothing has changed from the last chapter except that Bebe and Scott are "exclusive" now. Kenny is still trying to bone Jessica, Wendy and Token are still dating, Stan and Red are still together, Cartman and Heidi are in Relationship Limbo, Mandi and Seth are still together, and Craig and Lexus are sort of together. I would also like to apologize for sucking when it comes to updates…I had a very busy semester, but now it's summer. Since the economy in my state has apparently been taking it up the ass while I was away, a summer job is not looking very realistic. So I'll write. Anyway, read, review, and enjoy.
--
Wendy leaned back in her seat and sighed. The school administrators had passed around fliers for a second period assembly in the auditorium which was mandatory for all the seniors. Wendy was senior class president, but she had no idea what the assembly was supposed to be about. Everyone had tried pumping her for information, but she really didn't know. She breathed a sigh of relief as Mr. Mackey came on stage. She still couldn't believe he had literally followed her fourth grade class through every year of school. Mr. Mackey tapped on the microphone, sending an annoying screech throughout the room. Several people tittered in protest.
"Attention, m'kay. Attention." he said, glaring out into the audience.
"Suck my ass, Mr. Mackey!" a voice in the back called. Mr. Mackey simply sighed in annoyance.
"Students, we have you gathered here for an important reason, m'kay. This year, Park County High School wants to focus a little more on public affairs, m'kay. We basically want our students to pull their heads out of their asses and help others, m'kay." he said. Several people laughed.
"I'll shove my head up your ass, Mackey!" the same voice as before called.
"Young man, that is not appropriate behavior, m'kay. You are in school." Mr. Mackey replied, sounding annoyed. Wendy felt bad for him.
"Sorry Mr. Mackey, m'kay?" the voice said again. Mr. Mackey chose to ignore the apology.
"Since you're all graduating seniors, we've decided that you have to be the guinea pigs for the public affairs awareness project, m'kay?" Mr. Mackey said. A collective groan spread through the auditorium. A woman stepped up next to Mr. Mackey and whispered something in his ear. He nodded and stepped away from the microphone. The woman stepped up to it and smiled out into the crowd.
"How are we all doing today?" she asked, smiling. She seemed young, probably fresh out of college. She had long auburn hair that was pulled back in a bun. She wore a gray pencil skirt and a white blouse, plus pantyhose and black heels. Clearly, this woman was new to whatever she was doing.
"Show us your boobs!" a voice called. The voice sounded suspiciously like Eric Cartman's, but Wendy decided not to call him out in public. The young woman blushed,
but pretended not to hear the comment.
"My name is Gabriella Yates and I am here to talk to you all about public service. Before I tell you about the program you'll be participating in, I'll tell you a little bit about myself. I got my bachelor's degree just this past May at the University of Denver. I majored in political science and communications. I got offered a job with a company that promotes community service in smaller cities like Fairplay and South Park. I have a real passion for helping people, and I am utterly delighted to be here today." she said, grinning enthusiastically. Wendy shuddered. This poor woman should not show how happy she was. It was just the bait that people like Cartman looked for.
"I'm utterly delighted to see your boobs, Miss Y!" another voice called. Wendy sighed. These were seniors, for God's sakes. Miss Yates apparently had thick skin, though, as she ignored the comments again. Wendy silently thanked her for not making a big deal about it.
"Anyway, I am here to tell you about the Senior Service Project. Basically, I have a list of companies and organizations here. Everyone is going to choose one and do an internship with them for the rest of the school year. Some of these are paid, others are not. All are important. However, the most important part is that you do this. If not, you won't graduate." Miss Yates said. Several angry cries rang throughout the auditorium.
"Can they do that?" Bebe asked, nudging Wendy.
"They can do anything they want." Wendy replied, sighing. She watched as Miss Yates tried to reason with the crowd. Finally, they all shut up.
"Now, these internships are all easy work. For example, we have a few openings at the South Park Retirement Home. All you will do is pass out food trays and read to patients. None of it is hard and all of it is good. We have over a hundred organizations here, people. There will be something for everyone. Now, there is more to this Senior Service Project. I'm going to introduce your principal so she can finish giving you all the details." Miss Yates said. She walked off stage as Principal Victoria came on. Once again, another familiar face from their elementary days.
"Along with your internships, you will all be required to attend daily Senior Workshops in lieu of homeroom. In these workshops, you will discuss your internships as well as college and other personal issues. Once a week, you will meet here for a group lecture about an important issue. Next week's will be about financial aid for college." Principal Victoria said.
"Well, I guess it beats homeroom, right?" Bebe whispered. Wendy nodded.
--
"Hey, they have an Unplanned Parenthood thing here." Mandi said, looking at the fliers on the table. Janae nodded.
"That's cool, I guess." she replied, picking up a brochure for Hell's Pass Hospital.
"You want to work at the hospital?" Mandi asked, glancing at the brochure.
"Mandi, I want to be a nurse. Use your head." Janae replied, rolling her eyes.
"These don't have to have anything to do with our future careers, though. They can be for fun." Mandi replied.
"Testing people for STDs and handing out free condoms definitely sounds fun." Janae replied, rolling her eyes. Mandi just laughed.
"I guess it's better than dealing with sick people." Mandi replied.
"You'll be dealing with sick people too. Your people will just have pig herpes and syphilis and shit." Janae replied, looking smug. Mandi made a face.
"Sick." she said. Janae just laughed. Her laugh stopped abruptly as she looked over Mandi's shoulder and saw Kyren approaching. Mandi gave her a questioning look and turned around to see what had made her stop laughing. She rolled her eyes.
"Hi Mandi, hi Janae." Kyren said, walking up to the table.
"Hey Kyren." Mandi said, suddenly engrossed in her brochure again.
"Unplanned Parenthood?" he asked, reading the front of her brochure.
"Yeah. I go there to get my birth control anyway. Might as well work for them if you support the cause, right?" Mandi said, shrugging. Kyren frowned.
"They perform abortions at that clinic, you know." he replied.
"And?" Mandi asked, raising her eyebrows. Janae sighed. World War III could be nigh.
"And I'm against abortion, Mandi. I'm Catholic. You know that." Kyren replied, sighing.
"Since when are you against abortion?" Mandi asked, frowning. He had always claimed to be pro-choice when they dated.
"Since they taught us the truth about it in Sunday school a few months ago." Kyren replied. He frowned at the brochure in Mandi's hand, as if that might make Unplanned Parenthood stop performing abortions.
"First of all, that's stupid, Kyren. You and I know the truth about it. We wrote how many research papers about it? And second of all, you can be against it all you want, but I fail to see what this has to do with me being an intern there." Mandi said, crossing her arms.
"I'm just saying, Mandi. You should pick another internship. You won't be able to stomach working in an abortion clinic." Kyren replied. Janae wondered if anyone would notice if she walked away.
"Kyren, you don't know me half as well as you seem to think you do. Where I choose to do my internship is my business, not yours." Mandi said, sighing. She expected Kyren to try to argue with her more, but surprisingly, he didn't.
"You're right. That was wrong of me to try to tell you what to do. It is your business." Kyren said, smiling a little. Mandi smiled back in spite of herself. Janae wondered if this was the calm before the giant shit storm.
"It's okay, Kyren." Mandi said.
"I really did come over here for a reason, Mandi." he said, smiling again.
"Oh? What's that?" Mandi asked.
"I know this might seem sort of random, but will you go to the Homecoming dance with me?" he asked. Mandi's eyes widened.
"Go to the dance…with you?" Mandi asked, shocked. Janae knew the feeling. Unfortunately, she had resigned herself to just standing there, pretending to read brochures. Their conversation was none of her business. Not that that was going to stop her from listening to it.
"Yeah, go to the dance with me. I'll pick you up, we'll go out to dinner, our parents will take pictures, we'll go to the dance, we'll have a good time, and I'll have you back in time for curfew." Kyren said, still smiling.
"But…your parents hate me." Mandi replied, not sure what else to say. What would anyone say in that situation?
"They do not." Kyren replied, laughing.
"Your mother does." Mandi replied, still in slight shock.
"Not the point. Come on, come to the dance with me." he said, patting her shoulder in what was supposed to be a friendly way. It just looked awkward from where Janae was standing.
"I have a boyfriend, Kyren." Mandi replied.
"So? It's not a date, Mandi. It's just a friend thing." Kyren said, hurt already evident in his eyes. Janae felt bad for the poor guy. He obviously thought he was going to make things right with Mandi.
"I don't know, Kyren." Mandi replied, sighing.
"Well…take some time. Think about it. Okay?" he said, taking her hand and giving it a little squeeze. Mandi blushed and simply nodded. Kyren smiled at her, turned to Janae and nodded, and walked away. Janae started to open her mouth, but Mandi beat her to it.
"What the FUCK?" Mandi exclaimed, her eyes wide.
"What are you going to do?" Janae asked.
"I don't know. I mean, it's not like I have a date. Seth isn't flying in for some lame little high school dance, so it's not like I would be betraying him or something…" Mandi said, trailing off.
"Going to a dance with your first love and ex-boyfriend. That's not betrayal?" Janae asked, giving Mandi a pointed look. Mandi chose to ignore the question.
--
"Hey, Rebecca." Wendy said, catching up to her in the hall. Rebecca smiled at her in a sad kind of way. The same smile she'd been shooting at everyone since she and Stan broke up.
"Hey Wendy, what's up?" she asked.
"Do you have a study group for AP Bio lined up at all?" Wendy asked, hoping the answer was no.
"What do you mean? Are we supposed to?" Rebecca asked, panic flooding her face.
"No, no, no. We don't HAVE to. But…I've been thinking about putting one together. Do you and Butters want to join?" Wendy asked. Butters was Rebecca's lab partner. Science was not his forte, but Rebecca usually helped him. It was obvious to everyone that he had signed up for the class just to be with Rebecca.
"Yes, definitely. Butters is a lost cause when it comes to this class and I could use all the help I can get. I only pulled an 87 on the first exam." Rebecca replied.
"Okay…I think we'll meet at my place on Friday night. After the football game." Wendy said, writing her address on a piece of notebook paper and handing it to Rebecca.
"Sounds good to me." Rebecca replied. Wendy smiled and scurried off as the warning bell rang, tossing a casual wave over her shoulder at Rebecca. Rebecca smiled. She and Wendy had never been best friends, but she had hung out with her several times and she had been in classes with her ever since her parents had mainstream schooled her. She was glad to be hanging out with her old friends again.
--
"Come on, Cartman. We went to Prom together." Heidi said, smiling up at him. She had to smile up at him because Heidi had only reached 5'3" by the time she finished growing. She hated it.
"Goddammit, Heidi. I don't want to go to the fucking Homecoming dance with you." Cartman replied, rolling his eyes down at her.
"But I already have a super hot dress, baby." Heidi said, wrapping her arms around his waist. Cartman frowned.
"Bitch, how many times do I have to say it before you get it through your thick skull? We are NOT dating. Not dating. NOT DATING. Do you fucking get it yet?" He replied, sighing and removing her arms from his waist. He didn't want to fight with her. She sucked at it, anyway. She never even argued back.
"But…I thought…I thought you liked me, Eric." she replied, her voice low and shaky.
"Well, I like parts of you, anyway." he replied, looking her up and down. Jesus, he was starting to sound like Kenny.
"And even though we have sex, you don't care about me at all?" she asked, tears glistening in her eyes.
"Well…we're friends." Cartman replied, hoping she wouldn't cry.
"I want more." she said, looking at the floor. Cartman sighed again. How many times had they had this conversation?
"Goddammit Heidi…" he said, not sure what else to say.
"I think we should stop seeing each other, Eric." she said, her voice suddenly changing.
"We were never really seeing each other…" Cartman said, confused.
"Whatever. Look, I have other guys interested in me, so maybe I should just go date one of them." she said.
"Okay. Maybe one of them can take you to Homecoming." he said. He didn't add "and put up with your bullshit" even though he wanted to.
"Maybe." she replied.
"Okay…well…see you around, I guess." Cartman replied, stepping away from her. She nodded and walked off down the hall. He shook his head. Thank God that bullshit was over. The sex had been good, sure, but that was mostly because Heidi would let him do literally whatever he wanted in bed. He had talked her into fucking him in a plethora of "forbidden" places, including her parents' bed, which he had found hilarious. He had hoped that she wouldn't get attached, but he could see that she was after Prom. If it hadn't been for the sex, he would have told her to get lost right after Prom. Now he had to find a date for Homecoming. He had been planning on asking someone else anyway, but now it was going to be extra difficult once Heidi spread the word that he only wanted sex. She was a vindictive bitch like that. He knew that she would make sure that no one would go out with him for quite some time. Fortunately for him, he had already boned several girls in their class and they had made sure he knew that he could come back for seconds if he so desired. Oh, the things that being captain of the hockey team did for him. He had always wondered how Seth Testaburger had managed to get so many chicks to bone him when he was really a lame hippie douche bag who preached about recycling and global warming underneath his muscled exterior. Now he saw how.
--
"And I am done. DONE." Rebecca said, tossing her AP Biology book onto Wendy's floor. The other members of their study group, save for Kyle, looked up. Mandi and Janae also shut their books. Butters closed his and let out a little sigh as he fell backwards off of Wendy's desk and onto her floor. Kyren glanced up at the clock.
"It's after midnight. I think we should call it a night." he said, stretching. Kyle looked up at him and frowned.
"Kyren, we haven't even been studying for that long." he replied, sounding annoyed.
"We've been going since after the football game, Kyle." Mandi said. The football game had started at 5:30 because otherwise everyone would freeze to death, even though it was only September. It had ended around 7:30. Mandi and Janae had made a Happy Burger run for the group while everyone else had headed back to Wendy's to start studying. They had started at 8:30 and hadn't taken any breaks.
"Yeah, and that's not even four hours." Kyle replied, still not ready to shut his book and go home.
"Jesus, Nerd Boy. It's Friday. Chill out." Janae said, rolling her eyes. Wendy laughed, but she was secretly glad that Kyle was so devoted to AP Bio. It meant that as his lab partner, she could slack off a little since he would probably try to control every aspect of the lab they had to do the next class period. He was a perfectionist like that.
"So, am I the only one without a dress for Homecoming yet?" Mandi asked, hoping to steer the conversation away from school.
"No, I haven't bought mine yet." Kyren replied, grinning. Mandi rolled her eyes.
"You know I still need to get mine." Janae replied.
"Yeah, I haven't had any time to look. I'm probably going tomorrow, though." Wendy replied.
"Are you going with Token?" Janae asked.
"Yeah." Wendy replied, unable to mask the grimace she made whenever she heard his name.
"Well I'm going with Derrick Hartman." Janae replied, grinning. Butters frowned.
"Why does that name sound so familiar?" he asked.
"Because it sounds just like Eric Cartman." Mandi said, giggling. Janae shot her a dirty look.
"Their names are the only thing about them that are similar." Janae replied.
"Yeah right. That kid is Cartman only a year older and about eight shades blacker." Mandi said, grinning. Janae smacked her on the arm.
"He is not!" she said, making a face at Mandi.
"I always knew Janae was secretly in love with Cartman." Rebecca said, safe from her perch on Wendy's desk chair. Janae was in a beanbag on the other side of the room, so she couldn't reach her to smack her arm. Not that she didn't try, of course.
"Screw you all." Janae replied, giving them dirty looks. Mandi just laughed.
"Well, Becs and I are going together." Butters said, grinning at Rebecca in pure adoration. She shot him a polite smile.
"Yeah. We are." she replied.
"We all know that Kyle is going with that AP Bio book." Mandi said, smiling. Kyle flipped her off without even looking up.
"It's truly a match made in Heaven." Kyren said, grinning at her. Mandi looked away.
"Speaking of matches made in Heaven…is my brother flying in for Homecoming, Mandi?" Wendy asked.
"No. His fall break is at the end of the month, so he's flying home then. I'm flying out there for ours." Mandi replied. This time it was Kyren's turn to look away.
"How do your parents feel about you flying out there?" Wendy asked.
"I'm eighteen. They don't like it, but they really can't stop me. Nor do they try to. My dad did slip a box of condoms into my carry-on last time, though." Mandi replied, rolling her eyes. Everyone laughed, save for Kyle, who was lost in the world of AP Bio and Kyren, who was suddenly lost in the world of one of his socks.
"Sick." Wendy said, shaking her head.
"So…back to dress shopping. No offense, Mandi, but I do not want to hear about your sex life with Wendy's manwhore of an older brother." Janae said, changing the subject. Wendy and Rebecca laughed. Mandi frowned.
"He's not a manwhore anymore." Mandi replied. Kyren snorted.
"Yeah right." Kyren said, rolling his eyes. Mandi shot him a dirty look.
"By all means, Kyren, share your thoughts." she said.
"How far away is he? You really think he's being faithful?" Kyren asked. Mandi frowned.
"Yeah, actually, I do." she said. Kyren shook his head.
"I somehow doubt that." he replied.
"Just because you have the inability to remain faithful to someone you're dating doesn't mean that everyone else has that problem." Mandi said. Everyone in the room began to hold their breath. Janae wanted to sneak out.
"Are you still on about that?" Kyren asked, rolling his eyes.
"Okay, so maybe you never did anything with her…but you wanted to, Kyren. And you had feelings for her! Emotional cheating is still cheating." Mandi replied, rather icily.
"Dress shopping. Oh dress shopping." Rebecca said, interrupting their fight. In all of her years of friendship with both of them, she had literally never witnessed them fight before. It freaked her out a little.
"Yeah…dress shopping." Wendy said, glancing nervously from Mandi to Kyren. Mandi had tucked her anger back in and had her arms crossed over her chest, throwing an occasional dirty look in Kyren's general direction. Kyren just looked like he wanted to cry. Or haul off and smack something. Wendy hid the framed picture of herself and Seth just in case.
"Emotional cheating, huh?" Janae asked. Wendy and Rebecca shot her a dirty look.
"You've heard this story." Mandi replied quietly.
"You've heard this story from Mandi's point of view." Kyren rebutted. Mandi rolled her eyes.
"So, do you guys want to come dress shopping with Bebe and I tomorrow?" Wendy asked, glancing around the room at Mandi, Janae, and Rebecca.
"I'm off tomorrow…" Rebecca said, trying to figure out if she had made any other plans with anyone else.
"Yeah, so am I." Mandi said.
"I'll come if Mandi comes." Janae replied.
"We had breakfast plans, Becs. But if you want to go shopping, we can do it on Sunday." Butters replied, grinning at Rebecca. She smiled back.
"Thanks Butters. You're great." she replied. He beamed.
"I guess I can go. As long as it's not at the crack of fucking dawn." Mandi replied. Kyren smiled.
"And for Mandi, the crack of dawn is at ten in the morning. Anytime after that should work. How about noon?" he said. Mandi shot Kyren a look that clearly said "Fuck you, you don't know me half as well as you think you do, die in your sleep.".
"Shut up, Kyren. This is none of your goddamn business." Mandi replied. Janae shot Kyren a sympathetic look, but he seemed unfazed.
"Don't take God's name in vain, Mandi." he replied, sounding very chipper. A little too chipper for someone who had just been verbally bitch slapped, in Wendy's opinion.
"Can you guys stop your lover's quarrel, please? Some of us would like to get an A in this fucking class so it doesn't bring down our entire GPA and make us go to Denver Community College because we can't get into fucking Stanford!" Kyle replied, glaring at Mandi and Kyren. Wendy giggled in spite of herself.
"By some of us, you mean you, right?" Wendy asked. Kyle shot her a dirty look as a reply. No one knew what to say after that, so they all sat in silence, giggling into their hands when necessary.
"I'll use God's name in vain if I want to." Mandi replied, glaring at Kyren. Everyone did a double take. Mandi usually argued back right, not five minutes later. Kyren just laughed, which made Mandi glare harder.
"Down, girl." Rebecca said, walking over to Mandi and patting her arm rather awkwardly.
"I…you…we…fuck you, Kyren!" Mandi said, her face red. Rebecca shot Kyren a warning look when he started to laugh. He stopped.
"Should we talk this over? Do some counseling or something?" Rebecca asked, smiling.
"I don't need to talk anything over. I need Kyren to just stop talking period." Mandi replied. Kyren smiled.
"I could use some conflict resolution, actually." Kyren replied.
"You want to resolve this conflict? You started it by calling Seth a manwhore. Just get over your jealousy and apologize to Mandi." Janae interjected.
"I'm not jealous." Kyren replied, turning red.
"You know what I'm not? I'm not listening to this bullshit anymore. Get a fucking room and have sex already, you two." Kyle said, standing up.
"What?" Mandi asked, confused.
"I'm leaving. Wendy, I'll call you tomorrow. Maybe we can finish this lab shit in peace. Goodnight." Kyle said, stomping out of Wendy's room.
"On that note, I'm changing the subject. You two need to stop fighting." Wendy said, shaking her head at Mandi and Kyren.
"So…dress shopping?" Kyren asked, smiling.
"Yeah, dress shopping. We're going tomorrow at what, ten?" Janae asked. Wendy shook her head.
"Tomorrow is Saturday. We can meet for lunch around noon and then go shopping." she replied, smiling at Mandi.
"Works for me." Janae replied.
"Yeah, same here." Rebecca said, smiling. She was glad to hang out with her old friends again.
--
Mandi was still pretty pissed by the time she got home, which was around 1AM. Her mom was out with her boyfriend, her sister was off at some college party in Denver, and her brother was at a friend's house. She sighed and threw her purse down, glad to have the place to herself. She could be as pissy as she wanted and she wouldn't have to explain it to her mom, who would just tell her that her fight with Kyren was an indication that they were meant for each other. Her mother refused to believe that Mandi and Kyren were over for good, despite Mandi's relationship with Seth. It annoyed Mandi to no end. She sighed and kicked the leg of the coffee table, sending waves of pain up her leg. She cursed and fell back onto the couch, biting her lip to hold back the tears. At that moment, Mandi's cell phone blared "You're the One That I Want" from the Grease soundtrack, indicating that Seth was calling.
"Hey." she said.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
"What?" she asked, confused. How could he tell?
"You sound like you want to cry, babe." he said, sounding concerned.
"Oh. I just kicked the coffee table with my bad ankle and it hurt a lot." she replied. Her "bad ankle" was the ankle she had broken the week after Halloween her junior year of high school. It had been bad enough to require surgery and six months of physical therapy once the cast had come off. She had just finished the physical therapy in July and her ankle still hurt sometimes. It had also contributed to her break-up with Kyren.
"Why did you kick the coffee table?" Seth asked, seeing right through her lame excuse.
"Kyren is pissing me off." she replied, sighing. That's what she loved about Seth--er, really really liked about him. He could see right through her lame excuses because he knew her so well.
"Why is he pissing you off? What did he do?" Seth asked, annoyance evident in his own voice. Mandi told him the entire story, from Kyren asking her to Homecoming to what had happened at the study group meeting.
"I just…he's pissing me off so much lately. Where does he get off making assumptions about you and I's relationship like that?" she said, annoyed.
"He can say anything he wants to say. What matters is whether or not you believe what he said." Seth replied, sounding unsure. This confused Mandi.
"What?" she asked.
"Do you believe I'm cheating on you?" he asked, his voice barely audible.
"No way. You wouldn't do that." Mandi replied. Seth sighed.
"There's a relief. For a second there I thought you were upset because you took that part seriously." Seth said, sounding relieved.
"Seth, I would know if you were cheating on me. You can't lie to save your life." Mandi said, smiling. Seth laughed.
"Very true. But I had to check." Seth said, happy that his girlfriend believed him.
"Seth, you liked me for two years before we got together. Why would you fuck it up?" Mandi said, rolling her eyes. Seth laughed.
"And now that I have you, I love you." he said, smiling. Mandi's eyes widened.
"Did you just…?" she asked, amazed.
"Yeah. Yeah I did." he said, smiling. He knew she wouldn't say it back.
"Well…uh…thanks?" she replied, laughing a little.
"Anyway, I just called to say that. And see if you were still, you know, alive." he said, smiling. He felt better since he used the L word. He had felt it for a long time, since before they started dating, but he had been afraid to use it too early.
"So what do I do about Kyren?" Mandi asked.
"Huh?" Seth replied, confused.
"He asked me to Homecoming…" she said.
"Oh yeah. I don't know, babe, that one is your call. If you want to go, go. If not, don't go. Either way, you're going to have fun." he said, smiling.
"You're not going to get pissed about it?" she asked, suspicious.
"No way. Besides, Kyren doesn't have the effect on your panties that I have." Seth replied, laughing. Mandi rolled her eyes.
"Which is why we haven't even had sex yet, right?" she replied.
"Good things come to those who wait." he replied.
--
The next morning, Janae called Mandi at the crack of fucking dawn to get her up. Or at 10AM, which was the same thing to Mandi. When Janae's ring tone, "Barracuda", went off, Mandi groaned.
"Whaddyawant?" Mandi said, not even opening her eyes.
"Good morning to you too, Mandi." Janae said, sounding fully awake. Mandi wanted to slap her.
"It's like five in the morning." Mandi said, sitting up.
"Actually, it's more like ten. We're meeting Wendy and everyone at noon, remember?" Janae said. Mandi made a grumbling noise.
"So why the fuck are you calling me at fucking ten in the goddamn morning if we aren't meeting them until fucking noon, Janae?" Mandi growled. Janae laughed.
"Because you're such a delight to talk to, obviously. Now get your ass up and take a shower. I'm going to be at your house at eleven and I expect you to be ready." Janae said. Mandi groaned again.
"Why the fuck are we leaving at eleven?" Mandi asked.
"Because we're going to the mall in Denver. The South Park Mall sucks." Janae replied.
"Fucking…goddammit…you suck SO MUCH sometimes, Janae." Mandi said. Janae heard a thump, which meant that Mandi had at least hauled her ass out of bed. The battle was 75% complete.
"I love you too, Mandi. You're my best friend in the world. Now get your ass in the shower and be ready by eleven." Janae said, laughing. She hung up the phone before Mandi could yell at her again.
--
Mandi did as Janae said and jumped in the shower. She threw on a pair of jeans and a purple University of Washington hoodie and was French braiding her hair when Janae knocked on her bedroom door. Without waiting for a response, Janae walked in.
"Ready?" she asked, grinning. She was wearing a pair of jeans and a gray South Park Community College hoodie. Probably Derrick's hoodie.
"I see we rep the boyfriends." Mandi said, glancing up at Janae. Janae scowled.
"You represent yours, maybe. I've had this for awhile." Janae replied, gesturing towards her own hoodie. Mandi just laughed.
"Finish with your goddamn hair already. We're meeting them at some new pizza place in Denver and I have no idea where it is." Janae replied, frowning. Mandi quickly finished braiding her hair and they left for Denver. They pulled into the parking lot of the pizza place at noon exactly. Mandi saw Wendy's Saturn and Rebecca's Taurus parked right next to each other, which meant that unless Bebe was also late, they were the last ones to arrive. They went inside and saw that Wendy, Bebe, and Rebecca were all sitting in a booth close to the front of the restaurant, chomping on what looked like garlic bread. Mandi and Janae sat down in the booth.
"It's about damn time." Bebe said, smiling at them. Janae pointed at Mandi.
"Little Miss Sunshine over there wouldn't get up until I called her and told her. Then she made me grab her morning latte so she could function." she said, rolling her eyes at Mandi.
"Hey now, it's not my fault you guys want to meet at the crack of fucking dawn." Mandi said, smiling. Wendy laughed.
"It's noon. Hardly dawn." she said, passing the bread basket to Janae and Mandi.
They ate their fill of pizza, split the bill five ways, and went on to the mall. Their first stop was Lacy's, which is not at all an obvious rip-off of Macy's. Nope. They headed towards the junior formal section and were immediately greeted by a saleswoman who literally looked as if she lived on speed and speed alone.
"Hi, welcome to Lacy's! Do you girls need dresses? I bet you need dresses, you look like you're in high school. Are you going to Homecoming? We have a lot of dresses here!" she said, literally bouncing as she said it. All five girls exchanged amused glances.
"Um…I think we're good for now." Mandi said, smiling nervously. The woman nodded and bounced at the same time, which made her look like a bobble-head doll.
"No problem, just find me if you need me!" she responded, bouncing away to harass the other customers who had just walked in.
"Remind me to never consider a career in retail." Rebecca muttered, walking over to a rack of silk evening gowns. She pulled a light blue halter one off of the rack and held it up to her.
"Nice cut, wrong color." Bebe said, giving the dress a once-over. She pulled a mango colored dress of the same cut off of the rack and handed it to Rebecca. Rebecca put the light blue one back on the rack and held the new dress up to herself.
"This is a great color." she said, looking down at herself. Bebe nodded.
"That's the first one you're trying on. Now wait for us to find something and we can all go into the fitting rooms together." Bebe said, picking up a black strapless dress and handing it to Janae. Janae studied it.
"Why black?" Janae asked.
"Because it matches your soul." Mandi replied, holding a bright yellow taffeta gown up to herself.
"Because, Janae, you wear a lot of black. It's your signature color." Bebe replied. She glanced over at Mandi, who was holding the yellow dress up to herself in front of the mirror that Lacy's had next to the dresses. "Mandi, no. Put it back." she said, horrified.
"What?" Mandi asked, glancing up.
"Do you WANT to look like you rolled around in toxic waste before the dance? Put it back. Now." Bebe commanded. She walked over to Mandi and took the dress from her. She held it in front of her as if the dress itself was literally the toxic waste it looked like and placed it back on the rack. She wiped the hand she had used to carry the dress in on her jeans as if she was wiping toxic residue from it. Wendy snickered.
"Jesus, Bebe, it's a dress." she said.
"Hush, Wendy. Here, Mandi." Bebe said, handing Mandi a dress from the silk rack. It was red, strapless, and had little rhinestones all over the top part. The bottom was flared out a bit, with red lace underneath to make it poof. Mandi took the dress and stared at it.
"I think she wants you to try it on." Janae said, looking at the dress. It was nice.
"Duh." Mandi said, rolling her eyes and sticking her tongue out at Janae. Bebe handed Wendy a midnight blue strapless gown like Mandi's, but it had pearls instead of rhinestones.
"Blue? Really?" Wendy said, staring at the gown.
"I know it seems crazy, but trust me." Bebe said, grabbing a pink strapless dress for herself.
The five girls made their way to the dressing room. They all headed to separate whatever the fuck they call the stall-like things in dressing room and tried on their respective dresses.
"Goddammit, my ass is huge!" Bebe cried from her stall thing.
"Fuckin' shit." Mandi grumbled.
"Well, I won't be a virgin much longer if I wear this." Janae said.
"Jesus Christ, I'm TRANSPARENT!" Wendy cried.
"Hey, this actually looks good." Rebecca said.
They all walked out into the middle section between the stall things. Rebecca was right--her dress DID look good. It hit the right way in all the right places. Janae's was tight on her boobs and left little to the imagination. Mandi's looked good as well, but it was very tight around her boobs. She knew that if she went to the dance with Kyren, he wouldn't be talking to her face. No one would if she wore that dress. Wendy's made her look scarily pale, like she had been recovering from a terrible bout with the Bubonic Plague. Bebe's was so tight around her ass that she couldn't sit down without risking splitting the dress in half. They all stared at each other and started laughing.
"Rebecca, yours is a keeper." Bebe said, looking her up and down. Everyone else nodded in agreement.
"Mine might be okay in the next size up." Janae said, glancing down at her dress. Bebe nodded.
"Yeah, that one is a little tight." she replied, smiling.
"Hey Mandi, I never realized you had such a huge rack." Wendy said, looking at Mandi. Mandi shot her a dirty look.
"Seriously, does Seth know?" Janae asked, smirking. Mandi shot her an even dirtier look.
"Go take a picture of yourself in that dress and send it to him." Rebecca suggested, waggling her eyebrows. Mandi rolled her eyes.
"It's like foreplay from afar." Janae said.
"Sick!" Wendy cried, feeling a wave of nausea rush over her.
--
Back in South Park, Stan had Red over. He was playing Okama Gamesphere and she was filing her nails, clearly bored out of her mind.
"Hey, Stan?" she purred.
"Hmm?" he said, not even looking up from his game.
"I thought…about Homecoming…" she said, rubbing his leg.
"Wha?" he said, still into his game.
"We go to the dance, take a few pictures. You know, prove we were there. Then we go back to my place and use my parents' hot tub." she said, smiling seductively. Stan glanced over at her.
"What?" he asked, confused.
"My parents are going to be out of town that weekend. Do you want to use their hot tub?" she asked, smiling.
"Token is having a party." he replied.
"So?" she asked.
"So I already told him I would be there." he replied, shrugging. Plus the idea of a night in a hot tub with Red wasn't sitting well with him anyway. He didn't like having sex with her. It made him feel like he was doing something wrong.
"I doubt he'll miss you that much." she cooed. Yes, cooed.
"A promise is a promise." he replied, going back to his game. Red shot him a dirty look and went back to filing her nails. She tried not to think about how Rebecca would be at Token's party as well.
--
Cartman was going through his cell phone contact list, trying to figure out who he could ask to Homecoming. Heidi had a new date, which suited him just fine. The less he had to deal with that whiny bitch, the better. He scrolled through the list a second time, frowning. Why were all the attractive girls in his class suddenly taken? He sighed and stopped at a name. Desirae Smith. She was just a sophomore, but he also knew that she was willing to put out. He wondered briefly if she was working, then grabbed his car keys and decided to find out for himself. He drove to the mall and parked right outside the food court. As he walked inside the mall, he heard her before he saw her.
"Goddammit, buddy, you get what you get. We have orange smoothies. That's it. What do you think this is, Orange Julius? This is the fucking orange smoothie cart. We don't even have a proper goddamn name." she said, glaring at a customer. The guy had probably asked for a strawberry-banana smoothie or something. Cartman laughed and walked towards the cart. The guy that Desirae had been yelling at walked away, shaking his head. He met Cartman's eye.
"That bitch is insane." he muttered.
"What did that poor guy ever do to you?" Cartman said, walking up to Desirae's cart. She glared at him.
"What the fuck do you want, you fat piece of shit?" she asked. Cartman briefly wondered how she was able to hold down a job, but decided against asking. He decided to play her game instead.
"What do you think I want, bitch?" he replied. She frowned.
"I have no goddamn clue, asslogger. Why do you think I asked? What am I, a fucking psychic over here? If I were, wouldn't I be working at the orange smoothie and psychic cart?" she asked, pointing down the food court. Sure enough, a Miss Cleo look-alike sat behind an orange smoothie cart, reading palms and looking into a crystal ball. Cartman shook his head. Some questions were better left unanswered, especially in South Park.
"No, bitch. Give me a fucking smoothie and make it snappy." Cartman replied. Desirae glared at him with enough anger to literally catch something on fire.
"Three dollars, you fat waste of space." she replied, pouring the smoothie into a cup and shoving it into his hand. She took his three dollars and shoved it into the cash register. "Have a nice fucking day, you fat piece of shit." she replied, hoping he would go away.
"You're so angry all the time. You need to get laid, don't you?" Cartman said, taking a sip of his orange smoothie.
"No, I need fucking dicks like you to stay away from me." she replied, rolling her eyes. Cartman smirked.
"Do you have a date for Homecoming yet?" he asked.
"What?" she asked, confused.
"I asked if you had a date for Homecoming. What are you, deaf?" he replied, frowning.
"Fuck you, fatass. I heard you the first goddamn time. I just wasn't sure if you were actually talking to me." she replied.
"Who else would I be talking to, bitch?" he asked.
"Yourself?" she replied.
"Funny." he said.
"You want to take me to Homecoming, huh?" she asked.
"Did I say that, bitch?" he replied, rolling his eyes.
"You asked if I had a date. What are you doing, asking me for someone else? I highly doubt that." she said.
"Fine. Yeah, I am asking you, skank. What do you say?" he asked. He knew she would say yes.
"Well since you asked me SO nicely…" she said, smirking.
"So you'll go?" he replied.
"Yeah, I guess. But you're taking me out for a nice dinner first and you're not going to try to get into my pants until at least two hours in." she said, smirking at him. He rolled his eyes.
"Please, bitch. You really think I want in your pants?" he replied.
"You asked for a reason." she pointed out.
"Whatever, skank. You wish. So be ready at six." he said, walking off. Desirae shook her head and didn't even notice Kyren walking up to her until he was literally right in front of her. When she did notice, she jumped about eight feet in the air. Kyren laughed.
"Jesus, give me a fucking heart attack!" she exclaimed. Kyren continued laughing.
"Sorry, but the look on your face was priceless." he replied, shrugging. She rolled her eyes.
"Let me guess…you want an orange smoothie?" she asked, smiling at him. She was nice to Kyren because he had dated her sister. She knew the poor guy still carried a flaming torch for Mandi, but she didn't have the heart to tell him that Mandi's torch for him had sizzled out.
"Actually, I want to know what I need to do to get Mandi to go to Homecoming with me…" he replied, blushing. Desirae sighed.
"Turn into Seth Testaburger." she replied.
"She said he can't come. Why won't she go with me?" he asked, his voice low.
"You're still in love with her." Desirae replied, shrugging.
"So? We're soul mates." Kyren replied, sighing sadly.
"No. No you're not." Desirae said, shaking her head.
"Look, Desirae, no offense, but you don't know. We had a great relationship. She is the only girl I will ever love and I can't live without her." Kyren said. Desirae's eyebrows shot up.
"Extreme, much?" she asked. She wasn't sure whether to hug him or tell him to get a life.
"Maybe, but I miss her." Kyren replied.
"You want to take my sister to Homecoming?" Desirae asked.
"Yes. More than anything." Kyren replied.
"Then everything you just told me? Don't tell her that." Desirae replied.
"What? Why?" Kyren replied, confused.
"Because she loves Seth. She doesn't want to screw that up." Desirae replied.
"She…but…she loves me. Right?" Kyren replied. Desirae shook her head sadly.
"Not anymore." she replied, trying to be as gentle as possible. Kyren sighed.
"I still want to go with her." he said. Desirae nodded.
"Then just tell her that. She'll probably do it." she replied. Kyren nodded.
"Thanks, Des." he said, hugging her. Desirae hugged him back, feeling awkward.
"Yeah…no problem." she replied. He nodded, turned, and walked off. She shook her head.
--
Four hours later, all five girls finally had dresses. Janae had found another black dress at JC Nickel, which is not at all a knock-off of JC Penney. Her dress was strapless with little silver flowers all over it. Mandi had found another dress exactly like the first red one that she had tried on. Rebecca had stuck with her original mango dress. Wendy had found a lavender silk gown on clearance at some bridal store. Bebe had chosen a hot pink halter dress with rhinestones all over it. Somehow, they had all managed to spend less than $100 on their dresses. They had, of course, sprung for shoes and purses and jewelry, as well as whatever other girly shit they needed. After they finished shopping, they all went their separate ways. As Janae and Mandi drove back to South Park, Mandi decided to talk out her Kyren issue with her best friend.
"So, should I go with Kyren?" Mandi asked.
"That one is up to you." Janae replied, merging onto the interstate.
"Yeah, but what do you think?" Mandi asked.
"I think that Kyren wants it to be more than just a dance." Janae said, speeding up.
"You mean he wants to get back together?" Mandi asked.
"That's exactly what I mean." Janae replied. She put on her turn signal and switched lanes. Mandi slumped back against her seat and sighed unhappily.
--
When Mandi got to her locker on Monday morning, two things were waiting for her. The first thing was an envelope from Unplanned Parenthood, inviting her to interview with them during Senior Workshop. She silently thanked God that she had a black pencil skirt, sensible heels, and a white blouse in her locker that she had forgotten to take home after her AP Government presentation the week before. The second thing had been Kyren, who had really been waiting at the locker bank across from hers as she read her Unplanned Parenthood letter. As soon as she had placed the letter back in her locker, he had swooped in.
"Good news?" he asked.
"Unplanned Parenthood wants me to interview with them during Senior Workshop." she replied, smiling in spite of her knowledge of Kyren's opposition to the organization. He smiled anyway.
"Hey, that's great! Congratulations!" he replied, smiling.
"Thanks, Kyren." she replied, grabbing her books for her first three classes out of her locker.
"So, have you given any thought to Homecoming?" he asked, looking at the ground. She smiled at him.
"Yes…and…yes. But on one condition." she replied.
"What? Anything." he replied, perking up. She laughed.
"You have to promise me that this is just a friend thing. It's not a date. Please don't get any ideas, okay?" she said, hoping she wouldn't hurt his feelings by saying that. He nodded.
"Of course. I respect your relationship with Wendy's brother." he said. He couldn't bring himself to say Seth's name. Mandi nodded.
"Good. See you in first period." she said, walking off.
--
Wendy also had an interview during Senior Workshop, but hers was with Keep South Park Beautiful. Her letter had specifically stated that she didn't have to dress up, so she hadn't. Still, she felt a little unprofessional in her Park County High School Student Council t-shirt and faded jeans. She walked into the room where the interview was supposed to take place and shook hands with the woman sitting at the table. Immediately, she relaxed. The woman was wearing jeans and a Keep South Park Beautiful t-shirt.
"You must be Wendy Testaburger." the woman said, smiling. Wendy nodded.
"Yes ma'am." she replied. The woman motioned for Wendy to sit down and she did.
"Now, I've gone over your résumé, and it's very impressive. You seem to truly care about the environment." the woman said, smiling.
"Yes ma'am, I do. I've always been environmentally conscious and I do my best to take care of it." Wendy replied, hoping she didn't sound too eager. The woman smiled.
"That's exactly what I wanted to hear. Now, I have four candidates and two positions, but I'm going to tell you right now that one of them is yours." the woman said. Wendy squealed a little inside.
"Oh, thank you!" she said, jumping up and shaking the woman's hand. The woman laughed.
"By the way, my name is Betsy. The position requires about fifteen hours per week, plus the option to add more if you want. It pays nine dollars an hour." Betsy said. She handed Wendy her card, shook her hand again, and ushered her out the door. Wendy went back to Senior Workshop absolutely beaming. She had basically just been handed her dream job AND she got school credit. She was on top of the world at that moment.
--
Author's Notes: I made it a little longer than usual to make up for my not updating in awhile. I promise I will update more, though! I have a lot of time to do that this summer. Anyway, I'm just going to go ahead and break down who is doing what for their internship because it's easier. I'll just talk about people mentioned in the story specifically…everyone else…make up your own ideas.
Wendy: Keep South Park Beautiful.
Bebe: South Park Petting Zoo.
Stan: Park County Animal Shelter.
Kyle: South Park Elementary--tutoring third graders.
Cartman: Park County Recreation Center--teaching little kids sports.
Mandi: Unplanned Parenthood.
Janae: Hell's Pass Hospital--Labor and Delivery.
Kyren: Hell's Pass Hospital--Pediatrics.
Kenny: Fairplay Soup Kitchen.
Red: South Park Retirement Home.
Rebecca: South Park Middle School--tutoring seventh graders.
Butters: Fairplay Petting Zoo.
Craig: Park County Parks.
Lexus: Park County Parks.
Token: Park County History Museum.
That should be everyone that I've mentioned in the story…or at least everyone who has had an actual part in the story. The next chapter will be the Homecoming chapter and we'll get to the real meat of this story. =)