Hey all! This chapter is very sad, I'm not going to lie…but, again, I promise it will get better. The next chapter will also be awful, but after that some bright spots will appear again. Trust me, this story is not a downhill spiral the whole way. The ending will be worth it all. So I hope you stick in there…
Thanks again to montypython61. Your reviews make this worth it!
The light of dawn was just beginning to overspread the hills with its glorious blanket of light when Calliliana Maximinus set forth from the abode of Marcus Agrippa. Lavina watched her go, her slender shoulders slumped slightly forward with her burden of shame, pain, and fear…oh, how she hoped against hope that the woman's husband loved her the more for the price she had paid for his life! The slave woman had done her best to salve the maiden's physical wounds—but she knew that the wounds within would be the ones that would require time and the Hand of God alone to salve.
Calliliana hastened wearily towards her home, avoiding the pedestrians that seemed to throng the roads in ever increasing number with each corner she turned. She attempted to keep her thoughts on things that would keep the memories of what had happened to her locked away…but each recollection, no matter how beautiful, was poisoned by her tormented mind. The girl squeezed her eyes shut, striving with all of her might to silence the two voices that warred with one another inside her head.
"Hurry, hurry!" chided one, "you must get home to your son! He is famished by now…think of how his beautiful eyes gaze upon you as you hold him…"
"His eyes alone, at least, will not condemn you…"
"He is my son. He knows nothing, nothing, of what I have done, nor will he understand. If I could only look upon him once more, touch his hair, gaze into his storm-sky eyes…"
"Eyes like his father…at least THOSE innocent infant eyes will not condemn you…"
"Perhaps Leander is home by now! Oh, how I long for him to take me into his arms, to kiss me softly…"
"Whatever makes you think that he will want you any longer? You are a used woman…a bloody, soiled, useless woman…"
"He will forgive me! He MUST! I am his wife…"
"You are a WHORE!"
Calliliana cried aloud then, drawing the stares of more than a few curious onlookers, and broke into a run. She heeded not the pain crying at her from every sore muscle in her body, she disregarded the sharp stones that lodged themselves within her sandals and cut into her delicate feet, she did not care that all around her gaped at her in curiosity…she saw nothing. She felt nothing.
Until she saw them. Until she heard them.
Her blurred vision cleared enough to allow the young woman to see a crowd of early-risers thronging around a public spectacle. "What is it today?" she wondered blankly, as she stared at the multitude. "Is another hapless maiden being sold into slavery? Is a poor wretch being whipped for deserting his post…is…" her mind ceased functioning then, as her eyes took over.
For she had seen the crosses. And she had heard those upon them.
There were ten, ten blood-soaked instruments of torment, lining the road—nine of which had living, breathing wretches still suffering upon them, shrieking aloud in their pain. Women of all ages, beauties, and stations clustered around them, weeping loudly—these, she reasoned, must be the family of the suffering individuals. Calliliana felt the bile rise into her throat once more at the sight, as her heart began to beat wildly. She forced her way through the crowd, disregarding completely the other bystanders—those about her gazed at her annoyance at first, but one glance at her beautiful, wide-eyed and frantic face caused them to back away and give the maiden her room.
She walked from cross to cross, her pitiful eyes searching each face…each wretched face…for her husband. Each man's visage was so twisted in pain as to be almost unrecognizable—but the girl saw with eyes of the heart. Each man in succession was not him…not her husband…not her Leander. The beating of her heart slowed slightly, for the first time she was beginning to be filled with hope.
Calliliana passed the ninth cross, saw that it was not her husband, and moved on to the tenth—the only cross without a criminal upon it. She gazed frantically about her, until her gaze lighted upon an old woman standing near. "Please," she gasped, snatching at her arm, "please tell me; where is the man slain upon this cross?" The old woman tilted her head and gazed quizzically upon the maiden, her face as beautiful as a statue and every bit as white and colorless.
"He died faster than the rest, Domina. They removed him but a few moments ago." Calliliana felt as though she could not breath as she asked her next question—as it left her lips, she felt as though she would be sick, so nervous was she.
"And can you tell me his name?" The ancient thought for a moment.
"I remember hearing it before. You can see for yourself, look at the sign upon the cross!" Calliliana bit her lips.
"I cannot force myself to…I am afraid of what I might see. Please…would you be so kind as to read it for me?" The old one squinted her eyes and stepped close to the cross.
"The name…well let me see…my eyes are not what they used to be now, you know…ah! I have it now! Leander Maximinus was his name. Now then…" she turned once again to the maiden.
Calliliana stood there in front of the cross, clenching and unclenching her hands. Her face was completely white now, so white that her emerald eyes appeared emblazoned on her face, so hotly and furiously did they burn. Her mouth was open in horror, and it was with alarm that the old woman noticed blood dripping from it and staining the woman's face and clothes—the girl had bitten her tongue until it bled.
"Oh my dear," the woman soothed, as she hesitantly moved forward, "it is not good for you to be here. Please, let me take you away…" Calliliana pushed herself away as the woman attempted to put her arms around her.
"Please," she gasped brokenly, "leave me. I thank you for your kindness, but no one must speak to me just now. I cannot bear it!" The ancient woman stared down at the girl, who by this time had fallen upon her knees near the cross.
"You knew him then?" The lovely young maiden buried her face in her hands, and abandoned her wounded body to tremors and spasms of grief.
"I…I did. I gave my life for this man!"
"Your life? But what can you mean…"
"Please!" Calliliana gazed up at the woman with eyes so filled with pain, shock, and horror that the woman stepped back in fear. She had never seen such eyes, eyes that spoke of torment before, not even in the dying gazes of the men around her. "Please," Calliliana repeated brokenly, as she returned her face to her hands, "please leave me. I must be alone now. It is too much…oh dear Lord, my heart is too full!" The woman nodded sadly…though she did not understand, she could recognize suffering when she saw it. She backed slowly and respectfully away.
Once she was sure that the kind woman had left, and that those around her were too preoccupied with their own grief to notice her, then and only then did the young woman feel safe. She closed her eyes, attempted to still the raging thoughts in her mind…but one voice only now could she hear.
"You are alone now in the world. You have done nothing but bring grief to this man…he LOVED you, he gave you EVERYTHING, and what did you do? You betrayed him who saved you from a life of sorrow and pain. Perhaps with his dying breath, he discovered that you had betrayed him at the last…he knew, perhaps, what you are…you WHORE!"
Calliliana slumped senseless to the ground.