A/N: I AM SOOOO SORRY!!!! HERE BASICALLY WHY I HAVEN'T UPDATED…

ME: oooh!!! Toontown!! YAY!!

(few weeks later)

Me: lyn-z, pregnant!!!??? NOOOOO!!!!!

(like…a ba-gillion months later)

ME: OH CRAP! FANFICTION!!!

Oh, and btw, Nessie is not coming at the end of this story, because 75% of readers do not want it, and 25% percent do (majority rules)

Jasper's POV

"Jas-Jasper…" Alice sighed, clearly tired, but smiling regardless. She even seemed to be glowing, radiating her further. Our children sat, one in each of her arms on top of their mother. "They're so beautiful…and they have your hair-"

"And they have your pixie nose." I said adorning my amazingly brave, strong and beautiful wife. The children looked so much like their mother in the face; her small, pixie features matched hers perfectly.

"Hmm…whose eyes?" she asked pondering as she absentmindedly played with Aurora's tiny hand. She was on Alice's left and Adam on the right. He appeared to be smiling, quiet happily, at something; but I couldn't quiet tell what exactly.

"Well, let's say they have my eyes…and your lips." I carefully kissed her soft lips. She smiled at me, and that's when another shared trait hit me. "Adam had your smile." I noted bringing her smile to a full on grin. "But I don't know what he smiling at though…he's probably happy he's got such a great mom." I said smiling specifically at my son.

"No, I think he's smiling at you." Alice said with a smug, yet proud expression on her face. "I think he knows his daddy."

"No Alice." I couldn't hide the disappointment in my voice, nor could I hide the frown that was plain on my face. "He can't see me, only you and Bella can. And he'll never know me. Neither of them will." I could hear my voice getting "cold" as Alice would put it, but I found it easier to deal with reality when you blocked out the things it made you feel; I called it being realistic. I wasn't going to think or believe something that wasn't true and that was that. Still, it would be nice if he could see me. It made me sad, thinking about how my children would never know me; only by their imaginations and through Alice's stories and memories would they be able to piece together their own vision of me. It was because of this it was that I felt, in a way that I had truly abandoned my family, like I had let them down…it almost made me a monster in my eyes…

"Jasper, you know, they say that a baby is so innocent, so pure…that they can see angels." Alice almost singed. I looked up from Adam and over to Alice. She was always looking on the positive side of things; always trying to cheer me up. It usually worked in a big way, but I could offer then was a tiny smile.

"Thank you Alice, but…I think Adam's just a happy baby boy." I was about to touch his hand, but I stopped myself, deciding against it.

"You're not poison." I heard Alice mumble. "You have the right to hold your son…"I almost argued that point, that I was a monster and a horrible person, but that's before I felt a hand- smaller than Alice's- on mine. I quickly looked over, to see Adam's eyes dart from where my hand was, and to where my face was. "See?" Alice chirped happily. "I told you so. He can see you." I stared at my son, unable to really say anything in particular. "And so can she…" Alice carefully shifted so that Aurora too was facing me, with a faint smile on her lips. Adam had moved his hand now, and closed his eyes, probably falling asleep. But Aurora was still wide awake, with the same smile on her face. I sighed deeply disappointed with myself now.

"Jasper, you didn't abandon us you know." How was it that Alice always seemed to know what I was thinking? "It wasn't your fault. None of this. God, you sound like Edward…" she mumbled. Now that she mentioned it, I did. I never knew what it was like for Edward to be separated from the one he loved, when we had been alive. But now I see. Especially when you know that you are hurting who you love.

"It is in my eyes. And I'm sorry about that." I glance out the window, and winced as the sun seemed to go down just a fraction more. Alice reached over and touched my cheek. I closed my eyes and sighed.

"I'm glad you're here, Jasper. I'm glad that you could be here with me. With us. And-" she yawned. "Now I know you can visit us in the future." She smiled widely, and I felt as though I had taken a fatal stab in my heart. This is why I was a soulless monster; I hadn't even had the heart, the decency, to tell Alice this would be the last time she would ever see me. I hadn't yet told her goodbye.

I had been so absorbed in my own thoughts; I hadn't noticed 2 small pairs of hands on my face. Alice was grinning and my heart just couldn't take it anymore. This had to end; they were making it too hard-Alice and her radiant glow, the twins soft hands on my face, everything was making it so much harder to have to say goodbye- which I knew was inevitable. I couldn't risk it; the Volturi were just too powerful.

"They can see you." Alice teased. But I couldn't smile back. I gently moved Adam and Aurora's hands off of my face before speaking; so instead, they placed one hand each in the palm of my own.

"Maybe they can." I relented with a small smile.

"And, I know…they'll have this memory. They'll keep it."

"But they'll never truly know their father. And I'm sure this memory will fade in time." I said looking away. "I hope they keep this memory…" I said to myself; maybe if I repeated it over and over, it would be true.

"And if they forget….Well then, I'll just give then new ones. Every night, I'll tell them our story; the young maiden who feel for a handsome, brave knight and how fate cruelly took him away…" sadness briefly washed over her face, but she recovered quickly. "But then, gave her 2 beautiful kids."

It was quiet for a while then; Just my family's breathing.

"And don't worry Jasper. You'll always be with them. And I don't know when…but you'll be able to visit, right? At least once in a while…." She trailed off.

I looked away again; so much for saying a final goodbye- that was supposed be like…5 minutes ago. I sighed.

"Alice-" I was surprised by how quickly my voice had gone from happy and content, to serious and regretful. I knew Alice could hear it, sense it. I couldn't hide anything from her.

"Jasper…" her tone matched mine. "What's wrong?" I cleared my throat.

"Umm…maybe you should have then sent to the nursery?" I suggested, trying a lighter tone. She nodded and the nurse came in, and left quickly. Adam and Aurora whined in protest- crying for me- but I suppose the nurse thought they cried for their mother. I waved goodbye, trying to smile- trying to make the most out of this last moment I would ever see them. And then they were gone.

But now, here came the hardest part. Saying a final goodbye to my beloved Alice.

A/N: DA DA DAAAA!!!! Okay, please review or else I won't update til like….January!!! the 31st of January!!! And no one wants that…..because then I can't start the 3rd!!!!