A/N: Merry Christmas, mina. What a depressingly lonely festival. Personally don't celebrate Christmas because I don't happen to be a Christian, but it's been so distorted by consumerism anyways, one may as well dip one's toes in the festivities. Anyways, what's a KakaIru series fic during December without a bit of culturally obligatory kissing, right?

First Kiss

-9. Mistletoe-

The twenty fifth of December had no special connotations to the residents of Konoha. It was just any other day, albeit a rather cold one, and the citizens of the hidden village went about with their everyday business as per usual. Nobody had heard of such traditions as putting up tinsel, or presents under the tree, and even if they did, they didn't make much of it. Shinobi had no time to be concerned about odd western traditions.

Except one. Hatake Kakashi didn't care much for Christmas in general, but there was one element of it that intrigued him. That would, of course, be mistletoe.

It had always puzzled him that people from the west seemed to accept this odd tradition so easily. What it basically entailed was that the victims caught unawares beneath this cutting from the parasitic plant should be forced to engage in intimate acts with someone that they didn't care for, or even necessarily know. It seemed…vulgar…

Kakashi frowned slightly as he examined the little plant hanging from the doorframe of the corridor leading to his apartment. Someone had been putting them up all over the place. Nobody knew who it was, or why, of all the Christmas traditions, the culprit would choose the most improper one.

The little bunch of dried mistletoe quivered innocently in the chilly wind as it fell under the scrutinous gaze of Hatake Kakashi. Had it not been nailed to the wood, it would have bolted.

"Kakashi-san! Don't tell me you're the one who's responsible for this mess!" came an annoyed voice from behind jounin. Kakashi turned around and shrugged at the newcomer, whose cheeks were flushed red from the chill.

"Believe it or not, I think this is quite an inappropriate prank," Kakashi greeted the raven haired chuunin that stomped over and ripped the bunch angrily from the doorframe as though it were personally responsible for all the world's injustices.

"Damned straight it's inappropriate!" Iruka said irritably, rounding on the unsuspecting jounin, "What kind of sick psycho is trying to force people into kissing a complete stranger just by having the misfortune of walking under a rigged door? And what's worse, they've chosen me to be responsible for getting rid of these disgusting things!" Iruka ranted, thrusting the little bundle before Kakashi's nose and waving it, "Because what else could a lonely chuunin sensei possibly have to do on a miserable, snowy Saturday evening other than run around chasing some bastard prankster and their perversions?"

"Erm…," Kakashi replied, looking a little terrified of the ranting academy teacher.

"Look, if you come across any of these things, just take them down, alright?" Iruka asked, sighing softly and rubbing his hand up and down his arm to warm himself up.

Kakashi gazed at the flushed chuunin before him and smiled.

"Tell you what, Iruka-sensei, I'll help you find the culprit," Kakashi said chivalrously, grinning cheerfully. Iruka shook his head.

"No, this is my responsibility, I don't want to drag you into it, I'm sure you've got somewhere else to be," Iruka sighed, leaping away in search of the offending decoration. Kakashi blinked at the words and followed after Iruka, to the chuunin's surprise.

"Where else would I be?" Kakashi asked softly, effortlessly following the academy teacher as he leapt swiftly over rooftops and light posts. Iruka remained silent, grinned gratefully at Kakashi, and felt a little less lonely with the companionship.

***

"Ohayou, Jiraiya-san," Kakashi greeted calmly as he stood behind the toad sennin who was crouched behind a postbox with a pair of binoculars spying on a group of girls slowly approaching a bunch of mistletoe.

"Sshsh! …That's right…just a little closer…," Jiraiya mumbled, ignoring the jounin behind him.

"So you're the one who's been putting up the mistletoe everywhere…?" Kakashi asked casually.

"Yeah, yeah," Jiraiya said carelessly, hoping that would make Kakashi go away, or at least crouch down.

"Normally, I approve of your methods for gathering data. I'm a big fan of your books, you know," Kakashi said, not bothering to lower his voice or hide behind anything as the group of girls approached, "But I really don't like the idea of obligatory kissing…"

Kakashi grinned evilly as Jiraiya glanced up looking puzzled. With a puff of smoke and a loud bang, the jounin let off a flash bomb near the group of girls, causing them to squeal in alarm and scatter. Jiraiya's jaws dropped to the floor, then turned to face the younger man furiously.

"What do you think you're doing?? Do you not want special x-rated edition of Icha Icha anymore??" Jiraiya demanded, looking heartbroken and furious at the same time that his prey got away.

"I'm doing you a favour. If the head of this investigation found out that you are the one who's been putting up the mistletoe, you'd lose a lot more than a bit of research material," Kakashi said casually.

"Ha! I'm not afraid of Ibiki, that big scarred oaf," Jiraiya sneered, getting up to find another area that might prove more useful now that the boy had spoiled this one.

"Jiraiya-sennin…," came a dark voice suddenly from behind the two silver haired men. Jiraiya froze in his tracks.

"I-Iruka-chan…," he greeted, trying to look as pleasant as possible as he turned around to face the infamous chuunin, who's face was concealed in a dark shadow, "W-waaht are you doing out here so late on a Christmas eve…?"

"I'll tell you what I'm doing out so late on a Christmas eve…," Iruka began, a sadistic smile creeping onto this face, "I'm chasing after a perverted has-been who invades the privacy of young innocent girls just to please the dirty appetites of so-called 'men' like him," Iruka pointed at Kakashi, who looked surprised to have been partially included in the verdict, "I'm cold, I'm hungry, and instead of being wrapped in warm blankets with a big meal before me, I'll be spending most of Christmas pulling down shriveled weeds from doorframes. That's what I'm doing out so late on a Christmas eve, Jiraiya!" Iruka lectured angrily, crossing his arms and making the shameful old sennin feel like a shameful young boy again.

"B-but Iruka-sensei," Jiraiya stammered. Iruka raised an eyebrow and waited for the excuse. "I just…It's just…"

"I'm waiting," Iruka said, tapping his foot impatiently on the cement sidewalk as the older man twiddled his thumbs nervously before him.

"I was going to take them down myself after I got enough material for my Icha Icha Christmas special…," Jiraiya explained sheepishly.

"By forcing young women to kiss each other??" Iruka yelled, causing the sennin to shrink back in fear.

"I wasn't going to force them…," Jiraiya said stubbornly, "Besides, I just needed one kiss. I'm having trouble writing a scene about an awkward first kiss, so this was my last resort…"

"Just one kiss and you'll take them down?" Kakashi asked suddenly getting an idea.

"Yeah. An awkward first kiss," Jiraiya confirmed, unsuspecting of Kakashi's devious plan to take advantage of the situation.

"Iruka-sensei," Kakashi turned to face the chuunin, who turned his attention to Kakashi, his anger not dimming in the slightest.

"What?" Iruka asked snappily. The jounin was guilty of encouraging Jiraiya's unacceptable behaviour, after all.

"If I can get Jiraiya one awkward first kiss, that means he'll take down all the mistletoe, and our problems will be solved, right?"

Iruka frowned slightly, "I will not allow you to force any number of people to kiss each other, lessened responsibility or not."

"What about me?" Kakashi asked, grinning. Jiraiya suddenly realized what the jounin had in mind.

"Now wait a minute—," Jiraiya stopped at the glower that Iruka shot him. Kakashi smirked secretly under his mask.

"What do you mean, Kakashi-san?" Iruka asked skeptically.

"If I kissed someone willingly, Jiraiya will have his material, and all will be solved," Kakashi said casually. Iruka considered this quietly.

"But I don't want—," Jiraiya failed to finish again as Kakashi suddenly pushed a slip of paper into his hands with the words "Photos. Tsunade. Naked." written on it.

Some people think bribery is limited to money. Not so.

Jiraiya immediately went quiet, a small tinge of pink on his cheeks.

"Will the other person be willing to participate in this endeavor?" Iruka asked, not noticing the interaction between the two men, highly skilled ninja that they are, conspiring before him.

"I don't know, but that's how first kisses go, right? At least it'll be of my own free will."

Iruka sighed, a shiver running up his spine as a gust of cool wind whistled past his ears.

"Fine, do what you like. I just want to go home," he said, wrapping his arms around himself.

With a grin, Kakashi pulled down his mask, lifted a little bunch of mistletoe he had in his pockets above his head, placed a palm behind Iruka's head and gently pulling the chuunin in, pressing his lips softly against the other's, closing his eyes as Iruka's widened. After a few warm seconds, he pulled away and tugged his mask back up, pleased at the little blush on Iruka's cheeks.

"N-now that that's been sorted, please take down the offending things, Jiraiya-kun, or you'll get detention for a week…," Iruka said dazedly, not looking entirely present as he poofed away in a cloud of smoke.

Jiraiya and Kakashi swapped knowing looks as their favorite sensei disappeared.

"Nicely done," Jiraiya said, shoving his hands in his pockets, feeling like a rebellious kid again.

"I know, right," Kakashi said, suppressing his sudden urge to high five someone.

"Now…about those photos…"

"I'll give them to you after you've taken down the mistletoe," said Kakashi, wandering away with a sheepish grin on his face.

Mistletoe…aren't so bad after all…

***

A/N: Sorry for the lack of any plot development. This was more of a long pointless drabble than anything else.

Btw, the photos that Kakashi gave Jiraiya after he'd gotten rid of the two hundred and thirty eight mistletoe he had put up around the village consisted of two landscapes, a few shots of Tsunade standing casually outside the Hokage Tower fully clothed, and several highly disturbing pictures of Guy in various stages of undress as he changed into his pajamas. Kakashi had not taken any of them personally, but thought they'd come in handy at some point.

Kakashi never got the x-rated edition of the Christmas special of Icha Icha.

But he didn't mind. He had Iruka.