Can I Have...
Since it was national Mess With Dally Day, I considered it my patriotic duty to mess with him. I was willing to make that sacrifice.
So I walked up to him. "Hey Dally," I said. "I haven't had this in a really long time, and I just really need some. I just...I just love the way it goes in, hard and dry, and comes out soft and wet...and I really hate to ask you but..." Dally paled, and started backing away. "Can I have...a stick of gum?"
It was worth the black eye.