Chapter Two:
Dare
Me, Johnny, Pony, Soda, and Dally were all at the mall, trying to shoplift some stuff, and basically being "a disgrace to society, America, and humans in general!"
So anyways, we were all braggin' about all the tuff stuff we could do. And I said that I could pick this one guy's pocket. I mean, he wasn't paying attention at all, 'cuz he was too busy talking on his cellphone. He musta been having phone sex or something. But Dally bet I couldn't.
"I can so!"
"Yeah? Then prove it."
"I will. And when I do, you have to...sing 'I'm a Barbie Girl' in front of everyone at the mall." I said, smirking at the thought.
"Fine. But when I win, you have to...kiss that mannequin over there in front of everyone." Dally said, smirking as well.
"Hm," I stroked an imaginary beard in mock thought, "define 'kiss.'"
"Well, first, you stroke her hair," Soda said, touching Dally's hair, ignoring his "Get off!" "Then, you grab her and dip her!" He grabbed Dally around the waist, and dipped him down low, somehow managing to hold on despite Dally flailing about. "Next, you kiss her..." Dally finally kicked Soda's feet out from under him, and they both fell down. Dally quickly stood up, kicked Soda in the nads (nads! Hah, funny word...), and stalked over to one of the shop windows to make sure his hair wasn't messed up, cussing the entire time. Pony and Johnny watched all this in amusement, grinning slightly.
I laughed, and walked over to the man. Soda had recovered somewhat, leaned against the wall and watched, Johnny and Pony both looked in disbelief and awe, and even Dally stopped messing with his precious hair long enough to watch. I slowly slipped my hand down his back pocket. It was Sunday, and no one else was really here, but I still wanted to make this quick. I grabbed the wallet with my middle and first finger, and started to pull out, but then he whipped around. And there I was with my hand down the back of his pants. And he was a big guy too. I gulped, expecting to get wailed on, but he grinned, gave me a slip of paper, winked, and walked off. The paper had his phone number on it and his name. Sheldon. Soda and Dally were literally on the floor laughing, and Johnny and Pony were giggling.
When Dally recovered, he smirked and said, "You lose. Oh, and if you don't kiss it, then I'll shave you bald while you sleep."
Crap.
He meant it too. I wordlessly stalked over to the mannequin, and stared at her for a second. Well, if I had to do this, might as well have fun with it.
I walked back over to a stand that was selling flowers, bought a rose, and ignoring the guy's confused looks, walked back over to it...er, her. I got down on one knee and said dramatically, "For you my love! My heart yearns for you, I cannot live without you!" I stuck it down the front of "her" shirt, grabbed her, dipped her down, and continued, "My soul is on fire. It burns for you. It is not a small flame, but a fire. A big, roaring fire. Burning, burning, burning for you!" And I kissed her with passion.
Yep. I sure got a lot of funny looks that day, but it's better than being bald. Even though I did get arrested by mall police, it was worth it.
I'm seeing her again on Tuesday.