Chapter 13

As soon as the shuttle had entered the Earth's atmosphere, Don had called April to let her know they'd be landing shortly. No sooner had Leo descended the shuttle's ramp than the farmhouse door banged open and Shadow came bounding down the porch steps, with Casey and April following behind. Shadow raced across the wide lawn straight towards Leo. "Remember, be gentle!" April called after her.

Leo knelt and opened his arms, bracing himself for her usual tacklehug, but when she had almost reached him, Shadow slowed, almost tiptoed the last few steps forward, and very, very gently put one arm on his shoulder. "Is this okay?" she whispered.

Leo gave a watery laugh and pulled her into a hug. "It's okay, you can hug me tighter than that." Shadow immediately threw her arms around his neck and held on tight. Leo hugged her closer and kissed the top of her head, but his eyes widened in surprise when he heard her sniffling against his shoulder. "Hey, hey, it's okay," he said softly. "I'm okay, Shadow."

"I missed you a lot," she said in a small voice.

"I missed you, too." He looked up at the sound of approaching footsteps just in time to see April come alongside him and wrap both him and Shadow up in a hug.

She kissed the top of his head, voice thick with emotion as she told him, "I'm so glad you're home." Casey's hand was warm on his shoulder and Raph was pounding Casey on the back. There was a flurry of voices around him as Jhanna greeted their friends, his legs began to shake from kneeling down, and the sense of relief began to overwhelm him.

April, as always, noticed. "Hey." She gave his shoulder a little squeeze. "You okay?"

Leo swallowed, aware of Shadow still clinging to him. He took a careful breath and said quietly, "I think I'd like to go inside."

She smiled gently. "Sure thing. Shadow, sweetie? Let's help Uncle Leo into the house, okay?"

Shadow nodded against his shoulder and stepped back, but immediately took hold of his hand. Leo wrapped his hand around hers more hesitantly, worried that the still-present muscle tremors would alarm her, but she didn't seem to notice. April braced her hand under his elbow to help him up. Before he'd half-risen, Splinter moved into his line of sight, looking him over as he asked, "Is everything all right?"

Leo wished his father didn't still look so worried. He managed a smile. "It's just…a little much right now."

"I understand." Splinter stepped away and bowed deeply to Jhanna. "Thank you once again for your help, my friend. I think it would be best if we took Leonardo inside, but you are welcome to stay as long as you like."

Jhanna bowed in return, pressing a fist to the center of her chest. "I appreciate the invitation, but I should depart. The creatures still must be returned to their home continent…" she gestured over her shoulder at the platypus tank strapped to the wall of the shuttle. "...and then I should return to the Starspear."

"It was good to see you," Don said.

Shadow was tugging him forward and April still took his weight as he moved forward without the support of Don's bo. Leo turned to look over his shoulder at Jhanna. He didn't have much energy left to speak, but she responded to his fervent "Thank you," with a quiet smile and another bow.

April guided him up the stairs and into the living room. He settled in one of the big, squashy armchairs, with Shadow climbing up into his lap as soon as he sat down.

"Is there anything you need?" April asked. "Something to eat, or maybe some tea?"

"Tea would be nice, thank you," Leo replied. His family filed in after him and made themselves comfortable while Casey helped carry in luggage and April put the kettle on. Klunk came bounding into the living room and made a beeline for Mikey, chirping and meowing noisily.

"Hey, ninja kitty!" Mikey grinned as Klunk hopped up onto his shoulder and forcefully butted his little head against Mikey's cheek.

Leo looked back down at Shadow. She was quieter than he was used to. She had cuddled close and was watching him with an unusually solemn look on her face. He gave her a warm little squeeze. "Hey, what's wrong?"

Her eyes flicked past his face over to his right shoulder, and she said in a small voice, "Your shell got hurt again."

Leo paused. He hadn't forgotten the notch that the Collector had carved out of his shell after kidnapping him - much less the time that the creature had cut away more of his shell while he'd been tied down on its lab table - but he hadn't realized it would be the first thing Shadow would notice. But remembering their talk the night he'd been taken, he supposed he shouldn't be surprised. "Well…yes, it was damaged again," he said gently. "But it doesn't hurt now. It's just going to look a little different for a while until it grows back."

Shadow still looked upset. "Mommy said you were really sick."

"I was, but did she tell you I'm getting better?" He gave her a little smile. "It might take a little time, but I'm going to be okay."

She ducked her head against his chest with a little thunk against his shell. "I don't want you to be sick."

Leo just hugged her, feeling a little lost and not sure what he could say to make things better. And then he realized that, even though the past six months had been terrible, he and his family had already shifted into recovery mode. It wasn't easy, but over the years they had developed ways to cope. But the five - now almost six - years since Shadow had been born had been peaceful. No threats, no danger. But all that had changed the night he'd been abducted. He looked down at her, expression troubled, wondering what the past several months had been like for her. "Hey. Shadow." She looked up at him without lifting her head from his chest. He smiled warmly. "I got the picture you drew. It really helped me feel better."

Her expression lightened a bit. "I told Uncle Raphie to give it to you."

"Yeah, thanks. I really like it a lot." He ruffled her hair. "He said you drew yourself wearing a hat?"

"Yeah!" That got her smiling. "Wanna see it?" At his nod, she hopped down and darted toward the stairs. He listened to her little feet pounding up to the second floor.

April walked up beside his chair and held out a steaming mug. Leo smiled his thanks and wrapped both hands carefully around the ceramic. It was almost too hot for him to hold, but his grip wasn't steady enough to hold the cup by the handle. The heat felt good on his chilled hands, so he made himself hold onto it.

"Uncle Leo, here it is!" Shadow came running back down the stairs. She landed in front of his chair with a little hop. Leo couldn't help smiling at the blue and orange beanie. Raph was seated nearby, keeping a watchful eye on him, and Leo gave him an amused look. "That's pretty good, Raph."

"Yeah, well." Raph shrugged dismissively but he looked pleased underneath the worry that he still couldn't quite hide. "It wasn't that hard. Just took some extra time, is all."

Leo could tell that Shadow was waiting to climb up into his lap again but he realized he couldn't hold the mug with one hand. He shifted awkwardly. "Um, Raph?...could you…?" Raph was on his feet before Leo was finished speaking. He looked troubled but took the mug without comment and set it on the nearby table.

Shadow smiled when Leo extended his arm and climbed up onto the chair with him again - followed shortly by Klunk, who had finished his effusive greeting with Mikey, and had now realized that he hadn't seen Leo in months. Shadow giggled as Klunk's tail tickled her nose. Leo scritched behind Klunk's ears, unable to keep from smiling at the loud, thrumming purr resonating inside the cat's chest. "Hey, buddy, good to see you," he said softly.

As subtle as the sound was, Klunk's purring was one of the louder sounds in the room. Even though Leo's entire family was gathered, they were keeping the noise level to a minimum. Even Casey was keeping his voice pitched low, sitting with his head together with Angel on the far side of the room as she gave him the rundown of their month-long trip.

Leo appreciated the quiet, but he found himself at a bit of a loss. Six months, he'd been gone, and he realized there was nothing he could say. Even if he'd wanted to talk to April about his captivity - and he didn't want to - he wouldn't have been able to with Shadow curled up in his lap. The only person he'd spoken to in half a year had been his captor, and even then only intermittently. He'd missed so much. He'd been gone before, had even been gone on his own when he'd been in Japan, but even then, there'd been the shared experiences with his brothers. His period of training with the Ancient One had been one of the hardest times in his life, but even then, the Ancient One had been as kind as he was eccentric. There was a light of hope at the end, and the sweet outweighed the bitter as he looked back on it. But this time there was nothing he could say. Despite the fact that he wasn't to blame, three people had still died at his hands and he had no memory of their deaths; and any attempt to look back on the trials he'd suffered just brought back the memory of terror and pain…

His hands started to shake, the low murmur of voices blurred to a kind of static in his ears, and he could feel himself starting to panic. But he shouldn't panic - he was home, he was safe - and he couldn't panic, because Shadow was in his lap…

April's voice, gentle and cheerful, broke through the rising chaos. "Shadow, did you tell Uncle Leo you started playing hockey?"

Shadow grinned at the prompting and tilted her head to look up at him. "I play hockey, Uncle Leo!"

"Oh, yeah?" His voice was a little unsteady, but April's hand wrapped around his, warm and grounding. He knew she must have seen him struggling, but he was relieved rather than ashamed, and he found that he was able to smile back down at his niece. "What position do you play?"

She sat up a little without leaning away from him, excited to tell him. "Well, we kinda take turns playing all of them. But I'm really good at being goalie, and I like playing the wings because I can go fast."

"She's a killer goalie," April said proudly. "Almost nothing gets past her. And she's one of the best skaters on the team. The coaches were talking about bumping her up to the next age group, but she wanted to stay with her friends."

"Guess all that practice with your dad paid off, huh?" Leo said, giving Shadow a little nudge. Casey had put Shadow in ice skates almost as soon as she could walk. Unlike her father, though, the only things Shadow hit with her hockey stick were pucks.

April winked. "You should have seen the coach's face the first time she yelled 'goongala'." That actually surprised a laugh out of him, and as Shadow launched into an excited story about her team (called the Firebirds, in spite of her suggestion for the Fire Cats), his heart rate began to slow, and the moment of crisis passed.

Despite her excitement at seeing Leo again, it was well past Shadow's bedtime, and even mid-story, she started to yawn. "...And when I go fast they can't…can't catch me. I'm fastest of everybody."

He smiled. "That doesn't surprise me."

"It didn't surprise anybody," April said dryly, stifling a yawn herself. "I think it's time for goalies to get to bed, though."

"Awww, mom."

"Remember how we agreed to wait up for your uncles to get back, and then go to bed?" April reminded her. "Don't worry, you're not going to miss anything. We're all going to bed, too. And they'll be here when you wake up tomorrow."

Shadow sighed gustily but didn't argue. "Okayyy." She threw her arms around Leo's neck again and kissed his cheek. "G'night, Uncle Leo."

"Good night, Shadow." He kissed the top of her head, on the fuzzy blue yarn between the cat ears, watching fondly as she made the rounds between Splinter, Angel, and his brothers to say her good-nights before following April upstairs.

Angel stood and stretched. "You guys go on upstairs. I'll camp out on the couch."

"Leonardo can use the second floor bedroom," Splinter said, offering the room he usually stayed in. "I will sleep in the attic with the others."

"All right! Slumber party with Sensei!" Mikey said with a grin.

"I'll be fine in the attic," Leo said quietly to Splinter as he extended a hand to help him to his feet.

Splinter braced an arm around his shell, walking with him to the stairs. "I know. But it is fewer stairs for you to climb, and a bed rather than a cot." He gave Leo a look that was equal parts wry and fond. "Humor your father in his efforts to make you comfortable."

Leo smiled tiredly. "Okay." It was humoring him, but by the time he made it to the top of the stairs, he was glad that he'd agreed. He felt curiously heavy and tired, and sank onto the mattress with a grateful sigh. His brothers made a deliberate effort not to hover as they continued up to their cots in the attic, and before long the farmhouse was dark and silent. Leo slept.

He startled awake some time later, imagining he'd heard the soft chirrup of the creatures in the next pen. He sat bolt upright in bed, heart pounding heavily as he thought he felt the collar around his neck again. He couldn't see, his fear wouldn't let him breathe, and his fingers dug into his throat as he attempted to tear off the collar. The blunt pain on the still-tender skin of his throat pulled him out of his fugue enough for awareness to set in, and his chest unlocked to let him drag in a ragged breath. The faint moonlight coming through the open curtains illuminated the small, cozy bedroom where he'd gone to sleep. He was home. He was safe. The alarm clock read 2:06 AM.

"It's fine," he whispered to himself, burying his face in his hands, trying to calm down. "It's okay."

And it was. But it wasn't enough to prevent tears from welling up and spilling down his cheeks. "It's okay. You're okay." He closed his eyes, took a calming breath, but the tears wouldn't stop. The silence of the farmhouse at night was absolute, but the sounds of captured wildlife still echoed in his ears. The smell of wet grass became overpowering. Leo shuddered, suddenly sick to his stomach. He covered his mouth and nose and curled on his side. His breaths rasped through his hands as he fought a losing battle for control.

The soft click of the door opening shouldn't have registered on his hearing through the rush of his breathing, but he heard it anyway. His breath caught in his throat at the sound of something real, and the room was abruptly silent and peaceful once more, the scents and sounds gone as if he'd never imagined them.

"Leonardo?" Splinter's soft whisper drifted across the room. "Are you still awake?"

"I - " He swallowed audibly, gulping back welling nausea, and sat up. "Sorry, I'm…no, I mean yes." Despite fumbling for words, some part of himself was surprised at how calm he sounded. "I mean I was asleep but I just...I woke up." He felt cold, but his face was hot from the tears that still slipped down his cheeks. He brushed a shaking hand across his eyes. "I'm - sorry, do you need something?"

Splinter drew near, taking Leo's chilled hands in both of his own. "I am here," he said gently. "What can I do?"

"I don't know." Still he spoke in that level, calm tone. He pulled one hand free, pressing the heel of his palm against his eyes. "I can't stop. I - I don't know why."

"Do not try to stop." Without letting go of his hand, Splinter moved to sit next to him on the mattress. "You have persevered for a very long time. You are home now, and safe, and you do not need to persevere any longer."

Leo swallowed hard, took a breath, but the tears still kept coming. Pressure was building somewhere deep in his chest, and he could feel his outward calm starting to fray. Splinter tugged on his hand, rested a hand on the back of his shoulder, and Leo allowed himself to be moved. Splinter stretched out next to him and pulled him into his arms, and Leo buried himself against his father's chest in a way he hadn't done since he'd been a child. Splinter's arms were strong, wiry, and very gentle, and he held Leo close as the first hitching sob escaped.

"You are safe," he whispered again. "I am here, my son. I love you. You do not need to hold back."

Leo stopped fighting against the tears and just let Splinter hold him, feeling sheltered and oddly small despite being twice his father's size. Splinter kept his silence, lightly scritching soothing patterns against Leo's shell with the tips of his nails. "It will be all right," he said at last, when Leo's gasping breaths began to ease. "Rest now. I will stay with you."

Leo was too exhausted to do anything else. Still feeling lost, still grieving, but reassured and no longer afraid, he felt himself relax and begin drifting towards sleep. Splinter's hand still traced along his shell. His soft robe carried a trace of incense even after weeks of space flight, and the familiar musty, slightly sweet scent of his fur followed Leo into a dreamless sleep.

The room was just beginning to grow light with the first glow of dawn when Leo opened his eyes. He was curled on his side with his head in his father's lap, Splinter's arm a warm, reassuring weight draped over him. Splinter smiled down at him from his seat leaning against the headboard, letting his arm fall away as Leo slowly sat up. "Good morning, Leonardo. How are you feeling?"

Leo rubbed at his gritty eyes with finger and thumb. "Okay, I think." He met Splinter's gaze and found that he could manage a faint smile. "Thanks, Dad."

Splinter smiled. "I am here for you whenever you need me." He briefly squeezed Leo's hand. "Are you hungry?"

"A little, yeah."

Splinter looked pleased. Leo had dutifully followed Khavo's orders and eaten the broth and bland food the doctor had prescribed for him, but it hadn't been easy to convince himself to eat. He knew he should, but his illness had left him with no appetite, and his stomach often hurt when he did eat. Khavo had said it had something to do with altered gut microbes after being fed nothing but the same nutrient blocks for months on end. But during the last day or so of the trip home, he'd managed to muster up some genuine interest in eating again.

He took one of the blankets from the bed and headed downstairs. He still felt unsteady on his feet, but by moving slowly and holding on to the railing, he managed the stairs without issue. Angel was a motionless lump buried until blankets on the couch, and she didn't stir as Splinter headed to the kitchen, or as Leo carefully opened the front door and stepped out onto the porch.

Leo sat on the bench, blanket wrapped around his shoulders. The morning was clear and cool, pinks and oranges slowly painting the sky as the sun began to rise. Morning mist shimmered on the grass. The wind was still, and the songs of birds rang clear and sweet over the trees. He closed his eyes and slowly breathed in, letting the crisp, clean air fill his lungs.

Splinter joined him a short time later, carrying a tray with tea and hot buttered toast for them both. Leo smiled his thanks, and the two of them ate in silence. He had to leave the tea until last, still unable to hold the mug with one hand.

"I tried to reach you more than once," Splinter said at last, keeping his voice low to keep from disturbing the silence. "I am sorry that I could not."

Leo fixed his eyes on the gently steaming mug in his hands. "It was…difficult to meditate. I wish I could have found you again. But at the same time, I…" He paused, breathing carefully around the pang of remembrance in his chest. "...All I could think was how lost I was."

Splinter sighed sadly. "It was not my intention to cause you pain."

"You didn't," he said quickly. He rested the mug on his leg, freeing one hand to reach for Splinter's. "You didn't. It was good to know you were there, just for a moment."

Thin fingers closed tightly around his own. "It was good to know you were alive," Splinter said softly.

Leo didn't have an answer for that right away. He'd been so focused on protecting himself, protecting his family, missing his family, that somehow he hadn't considered the possibility that they would be afraid he might be dead. Looking back, it seemed foolish that he hadn't thought of it. "Did you…did you think I wasn't?" he ventured.

"No. Donatello analyzed the information from your GPS chip, and by the next day he determined that you had been taken from the planet, but that was all we knew. Leatherhead and Dr. Chaplin provided some insight and confirmed our suspicions, but there was very little we could do after that. All we could do was hope that you were alive." He squeezed Leonardo's hand. "Knowing for certain that you still lived allowed us to hope that one day we would find you."

Another day or two, and he wouldn't have been found in time. They'd had too many near-misses over the years to dwell on them for long, but it didn't mean they got any easier.

Neither of them had much to say after that, and the two of them sat in silence, watching the sun rise as they drank their tea. Before long, Leo began to hear faint sounds of movement in the house behind him as people began to wake.

Angel came out onto the porch in a t-shirt and leggings, stretching her arms above her head before bundling her hair into a ponytail. "Hey, you're up!" She smiled at Leo. "Sleep okay?"

He smiled back. "Well enough. You going for a run?"

"Yeah. Won't be gone too long." She knelt briefly, tightening the laces of her shoes before hopping down the porch steps and setting off at a jog over the dewy grass, toward the trail.

Raph emerged from the farmhouse not long after, finishing tying on his mask. "Mornin', Sensei."

"Good morning, Raphael." Splinter stood, picking up the plate and taking Leo's mug when he held it out. "I will be inside if you need me."

"Thanks." Leo smiled warmly after him, shifting over a little to make room for Raph as he took Splinter's place. "You're up early."

Raph huffed. "Look who's talkin'." He stretched his arm across the back of the bench, behind Leo's shoulders. "You okay? I saw Sensei get up last night and he didn't come back."

Leo gave him a slanted smile. "You're such a mother hen, I'm surprised you didn't follow after him."

Raph gave him a level look. "Would Sir Pot like to continue this line of discussion, or would he like to answer Mr. Kettle's question?"

He laughed at that, then took a moment to think and breathe in the cool morning air. "I think so. It just…it caught up with me a little bit, is all. But I'll be okay."

The brothers sat in silence for a few minutes. Leo's hands twitched without warning and he gently closed them into fists, trying to keep the chagrined expression from his face. Raph had noticed though, and after a moment he shifted to face Leo and held out his right hand. "Here, grab on for a second." Leo hesitated only briefly before reaching out with his own right hand, clasping Raph's palm to palm. Raph kept his eyes on their hands for a minute or two before saying, "Okay, squeeze down. As hard as you can." Leo complied, then did the same with his left hand. He knew his grip had weakened, and the effort of applying pressure caused the tremors to become worse. Raph let him go with a thoughtful expression on his face. "Hang on, be right back."

He stepped inside, returning less than a minute later to hand Leo a small cloth bag. Leo opened the bag to see an assortment of stress balls, varying in size and firmness, along with a pair of spring-form grip exercisers. They were a familiar sight around the lair - Raph used them on a daily basis to work on his hand strength. He pulled one of the balls out and rolled it around his palm before squeezing down, feeling the foam give beneath his fingers.

"Figured those could help," Raph fidgeted at the warm look Leo gave him. "Just don't mess 'em up," he said gruffly.

The front door creaked open and Shadow peeked outside, breaking into a grin as she saw Raph and Leo. Leo smiled and made room for her on the bench, not at all surprised when she pushed her way onto his lap. "Good morning."

"'Morning, Uncle Leo."

Raph poked her playfully in the arm. "Hey, what am I? Chopped liver?"

"No. Chopped turtle!" She giggled at Raph's teasing growl before holding out a strip of blue fabric clutched in her fist. "I brought a mask for you."

"Thanks." Leo smiled, feeling glad at the sight of it but knowing he wouldn't be able to tie it on. "I'll put it on later, okay?"

"Aw, how come not now?"

He hesitated briefly, but decided to tell her the truth. "Well…I'm not sick anymore, but I still need time to get better. See my hand?" He stretched out the arm that wasn't wrapped around her, palm level with the ground. It didn't take long before the shakes started, fingers twitching slightly without warning. "My hands aren't as strong as they used to be, and they're a little unsteady. It'll go away eventually but I can't do a lot of things with my hands right now. And I can't walk as well."

Shadow looked serious. "Can I put it on for you?"

His expression softened. "Sure."

Shadow took the mask and stood on the bench, waiting for him to turn a little so she could reach. Leo had to adjust the position slightly so it wouldn't obscure his vision, and he did gently hold the mask against the sides of his head so Shadow could tie it, but within a minute or two (and with a minimum of tugging), she managed it. "There! All done!"

"Thanks." Leo turned back around, pulling up short when he saw the oddly choked expression on Raph's face, but before he could inquire, the front door swung open.

Mikey leaned halfway out to say, "Hey, Casey's making pancakes!" He paused, took one look at Leo, and burst out laughing. "Leo! Trying to challenge my status as Prettiest Turtle, I see!"

"I put his mask on!" Shadow chirped proudly. Raph finally quit trying to keep a straight face, his warm, deep laugh rumbling in his chest.

Mikey laughed harder and reached out to fist-bump her. "Awesome!"

Leo reached up and gingerly felt the back of his mask, chuckling when he felt the tails tied into a slightly lopsided bow. "What can I say? It's about time someone dethroned you."

Mikey's eyes narrowed. "I will let this slide for now because I am hungry and there are pancakes. But this isn't over. You guys coming?"

Leo caught the sweet smell of frying batter floating out through the open door. "I already ate, but I'll come join you." He took Raph's offered arm and stood. Shadow grabbed hold of his other hand and helped pull him into the house.

Casey grinned at the sight of Leo's unorthodox mask but, remarkably, refrained from commenting. "Order up!" he said cheerfully, pushing a steaming plate of pancakes with a sprinkle of fresh blueberries across the table to Shadow.

Shadow tugged on Leo's hand to guide him to the chair next to hers. He settled comfortably into the warm bustle of the busy kitchen, letting the sounds of his family wash over him.

"You want some pancakes, Leo?" Casey asked, waving his spatula.

"Not right now, but thanks." He smiled, then reached out reflexively to keep Shadow from knocking over the syrup. The bottle rattled a bit in his grip but stayed upright.

Don patted his shoulder as he entered the kitchen, grabbing his own plate of food and joining them at the table. Leo saw the amused gleam in his eyes and said, "Shadow helped me with my mask."

"I wondered," Don grinned. "Good to see you wearing it."

His brother's smile warmed him, but the longer he sat at the table, his stomach began twisting uncomfortably and he found himself starting to drift a little, unable to focus on the activity around him.

"Leo?" Don spoke quietly, but it still caught his attention over the noise of Shadow and Raph flicking blueberries at each other. Despite the amusement on his face, he was watching Leo closely. "I know this might sound obvious, considering our skin tone, but you're looking a little green. Are you okay?"

"I think so," Leo answered, keeping his voice low. Raph and Shadow had joined forces and turned their blueberry war on Mikey. His brothers weren't looking at him, but he knew they had heard Don and their attention had fixed on him just the same. "I think I might…want to lie down, though."

Don set down his fork and moved to help Leo up. Shadow dropped her blueberries and gave him a distressed look as she saw him push back his chair. "Where are you going?"

"Just over to the couch for now," he said, hoping he sounded reassuring rather than drained. "I'm kind of tired."

She scooted her chair back, too. "I'll come with you."

Casey looked up from the stove to catch Leo's eye, tilting his head towards Shadow to ask silently, Is that okay? Leo smiled and gave him a subtle nod, taking Shadow's hand when she reached for him. She stuck close to his side as Don got him settled. Angel had folded her bedding and set it out of the way, but the familiar big fleece blanket was draped over the back of the couch and Leo sighed as he wrapped it around his shoulders.

"Why don't you finish breakfast?" he suggested. "I'll be right here, and you don't want to leave Uncle Raph hanging."

"We can't let Uncle Mikey win again," Shadow agreed solemnly. But she still gave him an uncertain look. "You're gonna stay here?"

"Yeah. I might fall asleep, but I'll be here."

"Okay." She leaned in to give his cheek a kiss that was slightly sticky and smelled like maple syrup before returning to her breakfast.

Don smiled, watching her go. "You're sure you're okay here instead of in bed?"

"Yeah. I don't really want to be by myself," Leo answered quietly. The beginning of a headache was causing a tight feeling behind his eyes, and he pulled his mask down to hang loosely around his neck; but as soon as the soft fabric touched his throat he felt an electrifying, startling surge of fear and he grabbed at it without thinking.

In one smooth motion, Don caught his hand, swiftly tugged on the mask tails to untie the bow, and set the mask aside. He leaned down to meet Leo's eyes. "You all right?" he asked softly.

"I didn't…expect that," he answered shakily, feeling breathless from the sudden hammering of his heart. His gaze flicked past Don's shoulder to see if Shadow had been watching, but fortunately she had been distracted by Raph and Mikey and hadn't seen his flash of panic.

Don's hand was solid and grounding on his shoulder. "Well…now we know." He spoke gently, but in the usual straightforward, practical tone he used when working out the solution to a problem, and it helped calm him. Don stayed close, giving him a little smile. "And if anything else comes up that we don't know about yet, we'll handle that, too. Okay?"

Leo took a breath, nodded, heartbeat slowing to normal. "Okay."

"Good. Go on, lie down, get some rest." He waited until Leo had settled on his side, adjusting the blanket for him. "Let me know if you need anything."

Leo managed a small smile. "Thanks." After the surge of adrenaline, he didn't think he'd actually fall asleep, but the smell of pancakes and the sounds of his family were enough to overcome the background static of fear and remembered pain, and his eyes closed sooner than he thought they would. He heard Angel's footsteps as she returned from her run, felt the familiar warmth of April's hand as it brushed gently across the top of his head, and then despite the hum of activity, he drifted off.

The misty morning brightened into a warm, sunny day. Midafternoon found Leo stretched on his stomach on a large beach towel in the front yard, in the shade beneath the wide branches of a maple tree. Don had helped him put his mask on after his nap - without the bow this time - and now he pillowed his head on his folded arms and watched Shadow, Casey, Angel, and his brothers run back and forth across the lawn playing ultimate frisbee. April sat next to him on the towel, gently scrubbing his shell with a sponge soaked in warm water and dilute cleanser. They were pretty sure his shell hadn't suffered from infection, but several of the scutes didn't look quite right, especially where the Collector had cut pieces away, and they didn't want to take any chances.

He took a deep, slow breath and shut his eyes at the soothing rhythm of the sponge on his back.

"Everything ok?" April asked.

"Huh? Yeah, I'm good. Thanks." He tilted his head back to smile at her. She smiled back and dipped the sponge in the bowl of water again. Sudsy trickles ran down his sides onto the towel as she scrubbed circles on his shell. Leo watched Shadow pounce on Mikey's leg and hang on, laughing while Mikey flailed dramatically and launched the frisbee at Don. "April?"

"Hm?"

"Is Shadow okay?"

April didn't stop her gentle scrubbing, but Leo heard her sigh. "I think so. Mostly. It was hard on everyone, not knowing where you were or if you were okay. But we noticed she was a lot more clingy, especially with your brothers. She didn't want them leaving our apartment alone at night. Sometimes asked if bad guys were going to take them, too." She gave him a little smile. "And I'm sure you've noticed you don't get much personal space now."

He huffed a laugh. "You're not kidding." Unless she was otherwise occupied, his niece was inevitably found leaning against his side or curled up in his lap. Leo had missed her fiercely, and was glad beyond words to see her again, but it was a lot - even for her, even for the little girl who had earned her nickname almost as soon as she could crawl, following her uncles around.

"She's a resilient kid," April was saying, "and I think she'll be okay. But it was a hard six months. Seeing you guys in danger is hard enough for me to deal with. I worry about her sometimes."

"We do, too." He paused briefly before saying softly, "I've wondered sometimes if it would have been better if…if maybe she hadn't been introduced to us so young. The world is a complicated place, and knowing us doesn't make it easier. We never wanted to make things hard for her or be a burden on her. But…I can't imagine not seeing her grow up, or missing things like this."

"Leo. Look at me." April waited until he tilted his head back to meet her eyes. She didn't stop sponging his shell, but her expression was intent and serious. "Don't you think for a minute that it would have been better. She has four uncles and a grandfather who love her very much. There was no question for Casey and me about having you guys involved in her life. It's created a few sticky situations over the years but we wouldn't change a thing. We're a family. Our lives are so much richer for knowing you. We knew we wanted that for our kid, and we'd deal with anything that came our way. So I don't want you to ever think that way again, okay?"

Leo couldn't answer right away, but he nodded, swallowing against the knot in his throat. When he finally was able to speak again, he said, "Well, listen…if you ever think Shadow needs to talk to somebody - about anything, not just about what happened to me - it won't be easy for her to say everything she needs to say if she's worried about hiding us. Hiding me. So if she ever does need to talk to a counselor, I'll meet with them, too. So they'll understand, and she'll be able to be honest if she needs help."

April's hands stilled, and when Leo looked up, he saw tears in her eyes. "I never would have asked you to do that."

"Hey. Hey, I know." He pushed himself up and pulled her into a hug. She squeezed him tightly, heedless of the sudsy water still trickling down his shell. "That kid is as important to me as my brothers ever were. I'd do anything for her."

"I know you would." April wiped her eyes when Leo let her go. "That really means a lot to me. Thank you." She patted his shoulder. "Come on, lay back down, you've still got some soaking time left."

Leo settled back on his stomach, letting out a little hum as she began scrubbing his shell again. He watched Shadow chasing his brothers, listening to the infectious sound of her laughter. His eyelids gradually started growing heavy, but he didn't fight it. The smell of cut grass surrounded him, but it was sweet and warm and familiar and didn't trigger any bad memories. He could feel himself slipping into a doze, but before he did, he roused himself enough to mumble, "Best thing that happened to us, too. Meeting you." April didn't answer, but she leaned down and kissed the top of his head.