Some Burned Bridges Can Be Repaired
Chapter 6
Or Can They

AN: Thanks for the reviews, don't own anything. The seventeen year silence is over.

"Derek Michael Morgan," Fran yelled out finally finding her voice again after few minutes of silence.

"No," Derek said, "I never said anything, seventeen years of not saying anything, I can't do it any more, I'm sorry mom," he replied before looking over at his dad.

The others had heard Fran and came into the entry way. Jeff slipped between Fran and Penelope; he knew this had been coming. He just couldn't let them kill each other doing this.

"What kind of father just abandons his son when he needs him the most?" Derek asked, "I needed you and you just pretend like I don't exist anymore, I did everything to try and get you to be proud of me, to say you loved me, anything, but you just bury yourself in work, pretend that nothing ever happened," he yelled out.

Penelope reached over taking Fran's hand, she knew it was going to be hard for her; she'd done everything to try and get them to talk again. Now it was all coming to blows in front of her.

"Are you really going to do this in front of your mother?" William asked.

"At least she was there, you never where, she deserves to know why," Derek said, "You shut me out, all I ever wanted was my dad back, six years, then you come home and pretend I am not your son, what the hell?" he asked.

William glared at him, it hadn't started like that, but what he'd seen under had changed him, he'd built a wall around himself and he'd never taken it back down. He'd never imagined being gone for so long, "You think I wanted this to happen?"

"You did nothing to stop it, I needed you, but you just handed me off, let somebody else raise your son," he said, "I lost you when I was ten, I begged you then not to leave, I pleaded with you, and you swore it would be few months, I wouldn't even notice you were gone, guess what I noticed, you were never the same," Derek said.

"You have no idea what I saw, what that did to me."

"News flash you son of a bitch, I know how the hell it feels, I had to go under, I didn't get a choice like you did, you could let Jeff go, but Deb and him just got married, you went instead," Derek yelled at him, "I didn't have a choice, I was the only one for the job, eighteen months of being alone, couldn't compare to six years but don't you think for one damn minute that I don't know what it feels like, you were lucky, you didn't have to watch your partner die in your arms and not be able to do a damn thing about it, because you couldn't blow your cover," he said, "But that didn't compare to watching you walk away from me that day, you couldn't even look me in the eyes, Jeff shot him, you just left me there, didn't say anything to me."

Jeff knew that the next part was going to be rough, he knew where it was leading, but he couldn't say anything, he just prayed that William told the truth for once.

"You're wrong," William said, "I didn't know how to help you, you think it was easy waiting until I had enough proof of what that bastard did to you, I fucking killed him, I killed Buford to protect you," William said not meeting Derek's eyes.

"What?" everybody in the room said at once.

"Did you really think I wouldn't after what Jeff told me, I never meant to hurt you, but I pushed everything away, I questioned every thing I did as a father after that, I put a wall between us because I thought I could only hurt you," William said, "It's not worth much now, but I felt like I did that to you, when I left, I couldn't stop what had happened, but I could stop you from getting hurt any more, and that included me," He replied, "I never thought my leaving would leave you vulnerable," he said looking up finally.

"Why the hell didn't you say something, that's all I ever wanted, I needed you to be there for me, not shut me out," Derek said.

Nobody was saying anything, they were waiting for William to say something, he couldn't exactly just stop now, and if he tried it was going to end with another punch to the face.

"I wanted to be there for you, but I'd already caused you pain just by leaving you, I thought it would be easier, that you'd be better off without me," William said.

"Better off, better off, what person would be better off without their dad in their life, I cried for you, I knew if you came back then it would end, you'd stop him, I wanted to believe so badly that if you knew then it would be okay, that you wouldn't desert me because of it, but you did," he said, "You find out your son is being molested and you just walk out on him, desert him like he doesn't exist, I needed you so much and you pretended like I wasn't alive, I already was in so much pain, I felt like I wasn't worth anything and then my dad doesn't even acknowledge me, I wanted to die," he confessed, "I wanted to crawl into a hole and die, the one person that I thought would always be there for me just abandoned me when I needed him the most, and nothing will ever change that," Derek said before he left going out the door, he felt trapped and he couldn't lose it here, not with everybody around.

Penelope turned to go out the door but Jeff went instead but not before turning to William, "He should have hit you harder, maybe it would have knocked something lose up there," he said.

Derek was trying to breathe, but air just didn't want to come, he'd made it as far as the back porch before he'd stopped sitting down and just sat there. "He never meant to hurt you, he just didn't know what to say after that," Jeff said sitting down, "I wasn't going to let you think you were worthless though, I knew what it did to you,"

"He could have said anything, something," Derek said, "Why did he let me believe it was you, that you killed him?"

"He never wanted it to be true, he didn't want it to be real, what happened to you, it took toll on him too, he just sucked at showing it," Jeff said, "I watched him for weeks after he killed him, he hadn't thought you'd be there, he didn't wait, he saw what he was doing to you and he killed him," Jeff replied, "We were behind the cage, he heard you begging for Buford to stop and he just fired the gun, he wanted to go to you, but he couldn't even move," he said, "I never wanted to take credit when he should have for killing that SOB, but he asked me to," Jeff said.

"It doesn't change the fact he shut me out, I needed him."

Jeff didn't want to keep going, because he knew that William should have been there, he should have been the one that helped Derek when he needed it the most, when he woke up screaming from the nightmares. However, he'd done it; he'd stayed up for nights on in crying with him. Deb had worked nights, and he'd been the only one there, so he'd taken that role as dad and he'd protected Derek like he was his own.

He'd been there the months after he'd blown his knee out in college, when he hadn't known what to do. He hadn't let him drop out college, he'd told him to do what he'd wanted to do if he hadn't gotten the full ride, which had been law enforcement.

"Your mom about killed me when you said you were going to be cop, she about punched me, but I told her it was what you wanted," Jeff said with smile.

"I never did thank you for everything," Derek said.

"No need to thank me, between your mom, and sisters I think the four of us did good job, but your wife, she is the one that took care of the rest those wounds," Jeff said, "I think I did pretty damn good job too, but I hate bragging."

"Sure you do, just like you hate poker, yet you taught me how to play," he said, "If anybody gets the title of dad it should be you,"

"I'd like to be at least second," Jeff said, "He's your dad, deep down, he's still inside, the day you told me you were going to the BAU, I went and told him," he said, "That day he was William Morgan again, the best friend I knew back then, he never said anything to you, but Derek he was so proud of you, it was all over his face, and he loves you, god does he, if he didn't you think he would have shot Buford that day, he loved you more than anybody I ever knew, he just didn't know how to express it any more," Jeff said, "You both have so many scars and the wounds are deep, but try, that's all I'm asking, it might take years, but try, don't wake up and find him gone and wish you'd told him every thing you wanted to say," he went on.

"Speaking from experience I see," Derek said.

"I watched my dad die in front of me, I told him I loved him while he died, don't let it get there, let him inside, you are both the most stubbornness people I have ever meet," Jeff said with laugh, "Talk it out, don't yell it out with your friends and family in the room, there was time when you told him everything, I'm sure you could try and start over."

"I can't start over," Derek said, "I can give him another chance maybe," he replied.

"Then do that, I'll let you think," Jeff said getting up.

"Tell Penelope that I'm fine, just need some time," Derek said before Jeff walked off.

It was like waiting for the test results to come back in the house. Jeff walked in and everybody looked at him, but he didn't see William anywhere. "He just wanted some time to think, I promise he's still outside," he said when he got all the looks.

"Um, William wants to talk to you," Fran said, "He's in the kitchen," she added.

"Okay," he said before going in there, this was going to be pleasant, "Okay let me have it," Jeff said, "You want to punch me go right ahead, but I won't apologize," he said.

"That's not it," William said, "Did I really do this to him?" he asked, "There was a time when you were my best friend, so tell me, did I screw this up, do I have a chance in hell of ever repairing what I did to him?"

"A chance in hell, no," Jeff said, "But you have a chance now, you should have been there William it shouldn't have been me holding him every time he woke up thinking that Buford was alive and touching him again, it should have been you," Jeff said, "It tore me up watching him cry for you, god, I let him move in because I knew that he wasn't going to let Fran know, Sarah or Des either, but he needed somebody to be there," he said, "That day I laid you out on the ground, it was more for him than me, god I wanted to kick your ass so many times, but instead I did the one thing you wouldn't, I was there for him."

William knew he'd screwed up, "I knew you could take care of him, that's why I didn't say anything when he asked to stay with Deb and you, Fran about killed me, I knew what was going to happen, I knew what he'd go through, and I couldn't do it, because I felt like it was my fault that it happened to him," he said sitting down, "You were my best friend, and Deb was Fran's I couldn't let you go under knowing it could last longer."

"I didn't need you making my decisions, you've been like a brother to me for so many years, you think you just abandoned your son, I lost my best friend too, but instead of saying anything I helped him, I got him through the hell, because I knew too," Jeff said, "After the first six months he moved back in here, the worst hell was over, but not the pain of knowing his dad didn't love him any more, you never said it, not once did you say I love you to him, or Des, or Sarah, the only person you ever said I love you to was Fran, but your kids needed to hear it too," he wasn't going to hold back for seventeen years he'd waited for this, Derek got his, now William was going to know what it was really like, he'd known that Derek didn't say everything, he wouldn't have either.

"I just want a second chance," William said.

"Well if you want that then you're going to listen to me first, because if I think you're not the slightest bit censer, then I'll tell him, I'll tell Penelope and I'm sure she'll make damn sure you never get near him again," Jeff said, "He might not be little kid any more but he is still in pain, Penelope has done so much for him, his heart and soul, all those wounds that you and Buford caused him, she's healed them," he said.

"Don't compare me to him, I never touched my son that way, I stayed away so I couldn't hurt him," William said.

"Well guess what, that staying away, you ripped holes in his heart, he needed his dad so much, hearing him cry for you every damn night for six months, he was sixteen years old, that bastard started when he was thirteen god if I knew I would have killed him then, but no Derek was terrified that if he said anything that he'd die, you know why, because he killed other kids, that's how I found out, the boy that your son found, Buford did that, he killed that kid, few weeks later I found out what he was doing to Derek, but before I could do anything you came back," Jeff said, "I thought you'd help me and that things would go back to the way they'd been before but six years away and you'd built a wall so high that not even the sight of your son that day couldn't break it, you shot the SOB, but you walked away, you left me there to heal him, but I couldn't,"

"I never meant to do it, I thought if he had a real dad, you then it would be okay again and maybe one day things would go back, but…"

"You dove into work, and didn't even notice when your son got hurt, he blew out his knee sophomore year of college, it took him six months to heal completely, he couldn't go back to football, so he got his law degree hoping to make you proud by joining the force, that didn't do shit either, he never understood why you stopped carrying, he just wanted his best friend back, but now he has one, his wife, she's his best friend, and they have two beautiful girls, but you have been so cold and distant bet you didn't even know that you had granddaughters?" Jeff asked.

"I knew, and when they'd come here at night I'd watch them sleep, because he wouldn't let me near them other wise, I sent them a Christmas present last year, I put from Santa on it, because I knew they wouldn't get it other wise," William said.

Penelope had been standing there for little bit, she wiped the tears away before walking farther in. "The only way you are getting in his life or theirs is if you swear to everything you'll never abandon him again, and only if we know you are censer," Pen said holding Harmony.

"She doesn't just mean Jeff and her," Hotch said, "She means us too."

William looked up noticing that the team was standing in Jeff's kitchen now, along with Eric, Sarah and Desiree.

"I don't even know if he'll forgive me," William said, "I destroyed him, and didn't see it happening, I just wanted things to be like they were before I left, I never thought if I left him that he'd have his innocence stripped away, I thought I was protecting him, but I didn't, I left him and destroyed him in the process, he should never forgive me,"

"You are not Buford, you did not do those things to him, you killed him, you stopped the bastard from hurting your son even more, but in the process you lost a part of yourself too," Penelope said, she wanted to hate the man in front of her, but she couldn't, not when he knew what he'd done was wrong now, "I wanted to find every way possible to hurt you so many times, but it always comes back to this," Pen said, "If you love your son like I know you once did, and still deep down inside of you always have, then you will do what is right, you will make amends, and you will let him back into your life," she said.

William got up before he went outside, he needed to have a long over do talk, not a screaming match but a talk with his son, because he'd screwed up and if Derek gave him a second chance he'd never in his life take him for granted again.

TBC

AN: Okay there it is a fight and lots of yelling so is Derek just going to make up, I think there is still a lot of healing to be done. Kissing and making up is never an option, but months of healing and talking maybe.