Some Burned Bridges Can Be Repaired
Chapter 7
Small Steps

AN: Thanks for all the reviews, I don't own anything. Just saying I'm sorry isn't going to cut it.

"I know saying I'm sorry won't help what I did," William said, he was standing few feet away from where Derek was sitting at, "I never thought that when I left that day that it would be so long before I got back," he said, "I was trying to protect my family, keep them safe," he knew it wouldn't change anything, he'd still shut his son out of his life, "I put those walls up to protect myself from being sucked into that world, I used to see the good in everybody."

Derek wanted to say something but he didn't know what to say, he wanted to give him a chance, but the wounds were too deep right now, but at the same time, he wanted what he'd lost back, he wanted his dad back, the one that told him it was okay and that the world wasn't a bad place. Maybe it was the innocence he wanted back, the one that his daughters had.

"I wanted to be there, but I didn't know what to do, I worked cases like that, I'd been there before, but I never had to help heal the child afterwards, and I didn't think I could, I thought I would make it even worse, it's not an excuse, I hurt you, and I built a wall around me," William said.

"You should have been there, you shouldn't have asked Jeff to be there for me, I fucking need you, but you just left me alone for the second time, any trust that I had left then, it took so long to get it back, but I don't know if this will ever be the same," Derek said before he got up and walked away, he couldn't deal with this again so soon, the wounds were too deep at the moment, they'd all opened back up inside and it felt like his heart was ripping out all over again.

It was almost midnight when Derek finally showed back up, he'd went for walk, which had lead, him to the Youth Center. Jeff and few other guys from the force were running it now, Deb helped out a lot too. He'd lost track of the time tossing around the ball with couple kids that he knew. James and Damien, he'd just met Damien the last time he'd been in town with Pen couple months back. James he'd known for two years.

"Oh thank god," Penelope said wrapping her arms around Derek, "You ever leave and don't tell me I will kick your ass," She said, "I thought something horrible happened, I was about to start calling hospitals," she added.

"Sorry, I just had to get out of here, I started walking and ended up at the Youth Center, James and Damien was there so I stayed while, hung out with them," Derek said knowing he'd scared her, "I'm sorry," he said again.

"We all got worried, about you," Pen said.

"Just needed air and time to think about a lot of things," Derek said.

"About that punch you took, yeah saw his busted lip, gotta say, when you throw punch you don't miss what you're aiming at," She said.

"I wasn't just aiming at him, but can't hit a dead man, I just couldn't keep it inside any more, and I wanted to hit something, anything," he said before she wrapped her arms around him.

"I love you, Derek, I will always love you, you are my hero," Pen said.

"I love you too, baby girl," he said, "What you say we go upstairs and just lay in the bed for while, I just want to sleep."

"Yeah come on, hot stuff," Pen said going upstairs to the spare bedroom where the twins were at. She pulled the cover back before getting into the bed watching him as he stripped before putting a pair of sweat pants on. It might be freezing outside, but it was warm in the house.

Britney and Harmony were in the baby beds few feet away so they couldn't do anything, but they held each other sharing sweet kisses.

"Can we talk, about something?" Derek asked few minutes later.

"Sure, what is it?" She asked.

"What do I do, I want them to know him, but I don't want my kids getting hurt like I did," Derek said, "I never understood how he could just shut me out, I could never do that to them, I'd rather be dead."

"I can't tell you what to do, handsome, I can tell you this though, what ever you decide I support you, so does everybody else, we love you, Derek."

"I'm glad that I married you, baby girl, you keep me sane," Derek said before laying back down letting her do the holding tonight because he needed it.

Pen rolled on her back letting him rest his head on her shoulder. She loved him and the thought of leaving him made her sick because she couldn't do that. She loved him so much and any thought of somebody hurting him again it pissed her off. She had repaired the wounds in his heart and soul, earned his trust and love. They were still best friends, and now they had more, husband and wife, mother and father to their daughters.

Derek woke up the next morning going over his daughters. He hadn't slept much; he'd mainly laid there watching Penelope sleep. His mind wouldn't turn off long enough to fall asleep even for minute. It kept going over everything that had happened yesterday, the years past. It all kept coming back to one thing, he wanted his dad back in his life, but he didn't know if he could open that door again.

Harmony and Britney were both awake, he smiled down at them. "Hey you two," he could never imagine leaving them to fight for themselves; it would kill everything in him. It was like they knew they had to wait their turn to be changed and fed in the mornings now that they were little older. Harmony was more patient that Britney though.

"I'll be with you in moment," Derek said to Harmony as he took Britney to change her. He was the first one up most mornings so he had the twins fed and changed by the time Penelope got up. She'd always said he could ask for help, but he wanted her to get her sleep. Pen worked and took care of the girls when he was away with the team. The longest he'd been was three weeks, and they'd all be tired, but Pen been worn down more. Haley had taken the girls that third week.

Derek had called her, asking her to make sure that Penelope got sleep and that the girls were taken care of too. Haley helped them out a lot when it came to that. It was hard, but the team was like a family, they took care of each other. Some things were strained, and few months back it was like a dead zone if you even asked him to talk to Gideon.

He'd been beyond pissed off at him, he'd done the one thing that nobody in the world did and got away with it. He'd messed with his wife, he'd called her stupid. It had taken every fiber in his body not to punch him when Penelope started crying. He hadn't given a damn about his job, or anything, you don't mess with his best friend and wife that you don't do and get away with it.

When she'd left the conference room he'd went after her, he hadn't cared that they had to find the bastard that had killed those guys. They'd wanted to spend time together, just the four them, have time with the kids alone, but no the guy started killing people sending them stuff to get their attention, then certain asshole had went off on Pen, she couldn't help it, it wasn't her fault.

Since then it hadn't been the same between Gideon and him, but he didn't care, his wife and kids came first, he'd give up everything for them, he'll he'd almost done it once, but Penelope had said he wasn't about to do that. Pen hadn't wanted him to stay home with the girls, while she worked, they both had important jobs, but he knew she was the one that did the most important work, she put the case together for them, found the people, Pen did all that, they were just the ones to catch the guys or women and stop them.

That had been the reason he hadn't thought when he'd told her his plan, but she had refused to let him do that, for few months she'd stayed home with the kids, and Hotch had worked it out with the director so she could work from home until the twins could start at the nursery at the Bureau.

After he had the girls fed and changed he let them go back to sleep before going down stairs finding Jeff already up too. "I thought when you retired you were supposed to sleep in?" Derek asked sitting down.

"Yeah right, twenty plus years on the force of getting up before the sun, that will never happen," Jeff said, "The last few months have been crazy, I never got chance to ask you if you rethought that little thought you had about quieting the BAU?"

"Pen wouldn't let me," Derek said.

"I told you last year when the twins were born that you couldn't walk away from it, she wouldn't let you and you knew that you couldn't either," Jeff said sitting down after handing Derek cup coffee, "So why did you think you could?"

"I never thought I could, I just got pissed off, that guy had gotten everything on us, he hacked into the computers, using Penelope, she was pissed off and frustrated, it killed her knowing that he'd gotten through her computer to us, but he just had to go and call her stupid, she didn't deserve it," he was still pissed off about that.

"I remember that, I actually thought you would have punched him too, thank god Penelope stopped you, but she loved you for standing up for her," Jeff said, "You never wanted anybody else after you met her, you've protected her and those kids that you two have," he said, "She's protected you though, Pen knew that you needed somebody to be there too, first time you two had fight she called your mom, told her what happened, Fran told me to talk some sense into you," he said with laugh, "Two years later I think it worked," he teased.

"Yeah, it worked," Derek said, "I need to do something," he said finishing his coffee, "I'll be back in few hours if she wakes up just tell her I'll be back before we leave," Derek said before he went to get dressed.

Harmony was awake when he came into the room so he dressed her taking his daughter with him. Maybe with her there it wouldn't end with a fight, maybe he could try and work things out.

William was at work, he'd gone in earlier to try and get his mind off things, but it wasn't helping, but he kept himself busy with paper work and other things. There was plenty of other officers there and he was waiting on some files from couple them that had worked the last case.

Somebody knocked on his office door, he didn't look up instead he told them to put it on the desk. However he wasn't expecting to see a coffee cup appear in front of him.

"I can't promise that it will ever be the same again, but I want to try," Derek said, "Maybe small steps?" he offered before looking at his daughter, then back at his dad, "Do you want to hold her?"

William smiled, he'd take what he could get, if that meant small steps then he'd do it, he hadn't expected Derek to come here at all, he'd thought it would be months before he came around. They were both stubborn and his pride kept getting in the way. "Yes," he finally said before he stood up taking his granddaughter.

"Britney was still asleep, so I brought Harmony with me," Derek said letting his dad take her, "She's a year old, last month," he said.

"Hey," William said, "I know saying I'm sorry won't help us, it's a word, but I want to be apart of your life, their lives," he said, "If that means baby steps I'll take it, I hurt you more than I ever wanted to, and I know that now."

"It won't happen over night, I can't pretend like nothing happened, I won't do it, but I'll give you another chance," Derek said, "Penelope however, you're going to have to suck up massively to her, because she isn't so sure you're not going to do that again," he replied, "Gideon's still trying to get her trust back, and it has only been six months."

William knew that Penelope was the prefect person that his son could have married, "I was there, at your wedding, I just was in the back, I wanted to try back then, but you looked so happy without me around, I just let it go," He said, "You did good, she's a hell of a woman just like your mom, and she doesn't take shit," he added, "I know I have to work to get yours and her trust."

Derek smiled a little, "I never knew you came, I didn't send you the invitation, I dropped it off instead, I didn't think you would come, but I wanted you there," he said.

"I didn't know how to stop being an ass, you two looked happy, I just left when it was over, pretended like I hadn't been there, but Jeff saw me, he told me to stop being stubborn and to talk to you," William said, "I never meant to hurt you, but I couldn't take that wall down I'd built around me, it took so long to let your mom back in," he admitted.

"I never meant to act like you weren't there either, it went both ways, but I just thought you stopped loving me," Derek said, "I built the walls up to keep you out, I'd gotten hurt, and I couldn't risk it a third time, even though I needed you there," he said.

"I shouldn't have said what I did yesterday either, I know you took care of your mom and sisters when I was at work, when I wasn't there, I'd tried so hard to give you all what I thought you needed, and I got caught up in work, you always gave her things she'd wanted," William said.

Derek looked at him, "I couldn't give her what she really wanted, so I did the best I could," he said, "She helped me with that house, and she kept saying she wished that she could buy it, she wanted it so much, and I gave it to her because I wasn't going to be there," he replied, "I was going to make amends then, I was going to give it to you that day, I didn't want the money, I wanted her happy."

""I knew that deep down, but I just couldn't think other wise," William said, "I didn't know how to tell you after so long that I was proud of you," he said, "You could have went the other direction, Jeff told me that Rodney asked you to join his gang, you told him no, hell you beat the shit out of him," he looked over at Derek he saw the tears, "I loved you so much, Derek, you didn't go down that road, instead you went to college, played football," he let his own tears out for once, "When Fran told me you got hurt, I called the hospital, I went there, but I couldn't go in that room, I was so stubborn, I hadn't been there for so long, I didn't think you'd ever want me around,"

"I knew you came, I saw you, I wasn't asleep, I wanted you to walk through that door, but you left, Jeff showed up few hours later, I didn't know what to do after that, but I wanted to try and fix things again, but when I joined the force once I graduated, it was like I wasn't there, you didn't even look at me, I transferred out because I couldn't take it any more," Derek said.

William knew they were heading for another fight, "Can we not fight, not now, I just want to try and make amends with you, be apart of your life again, not think about how many times we could have done things different in the past, because if I could have, I would have went to you when I shot that bastard, I would have taken you out of there and started over then, I would have been there for you, and I would have done so many things differently,"

"I thought we could start with breakfast maybe?" Derek asked, "The three of us, that is if you still like Deb's cooking?" he asked.

"Yeah, she hasn't changed the menu in forever," William said letting Derek take Harmony so he could get his coat and the coffee that he'd brought him.

Deb was shocked when she looked up from the counter and saw William walking in with Derek and Harmony, she smiled, maybe there was hope yet for father and son.

TBC

AN: Hope you enjoyed. One more chapter and this story is finished. I'm letting you know just in case that it is snowing like crazy here and still more on way so if I lose power it might be few days before the last chapter is posted. Thanks for all the reviews. Epilogue up either later tonight if every thing goes good.