A/N: Well, my friends, we are nearing the end. I think I'll only have one more chapter after this, but there will be that sequel I promised you! The italics in this chapter all represent thought (just thought I'd be totally clear about that ^^). Also, the dialogue from "My Fair Lady" has been condensed for my fluffy purposes again.

Many, many, many thanks to everyone for their lovely and supportive reviews! I try to reply to each one, because they truly do mean a lot. I hope you all enjoy this chapter.

I own nothing that is Big Bang Theory or My Fair Lady, not even Professor Higgins.

Chapter Five: You Can Go To Hartford, Hereford, and Hampshire!

Penny took her place on stage, feeling frustrated over not being able to apologize to Sheldon. She wouldn't even be able to see him until the next scene. She let her eyes shift over to the wings on the side of the stage, hoping he would take his usual place there to watch her sing. No such luck this time. She had to fight against letting out a frustrated grumble when she realized that, for now, she was stuck with Josh.

Josh approached her and began to sing timidly. It was a good thing that this was in keeping with Freddy's character. Penny smirked. The audience would think Josh was doing a good job, but she knew he was just afraid of being hog-tied and castrated.

That was when it hit her.

Josh, she thought. Sheldon had been jealous when he had seen Josh kissing her. Penny's eyes got huge. Oh my God! Sheldon's actually attracted to me!

She could've done a little dance, but she checked herself. Right now, she had to sing "Show Me."

As she started to sing with renewed pep, she thought of how Sheldon didn't seem to really get what was happening tonight. He was all talk and confusion. Penny decided that she'd just have to give him a push for the next couple of scenes. He had gotten his foot into the door, and it was up to her to push him through it!

She belted out the end, feeling pretty confident in her plan: "Never do I ever want to hear another word. There isn't one I haven't heard. Here we are together in what ought to be a dream. Say one more word and I'll scream! Haven't your arms hungered for mine? Please don't 'expline,' show me! Show me! Don't wait until wrinkles and lines pop out all over my brow! Show me now!"

. . .

Sheldon wasn't watching in the wings, but he was listening. About halfway through the song, he heard a strange new tone enter into Penny's voice.

His brow furrowed in curiosity. It wasn't bad, whatever it was, but he couldn't quite understand exactly what it was that he was hearing. He shook his head. Perhaps Penny was still angry with him.

He wondered what she had been going to say before she had run off. Sheldon supposed it didn't really matter anymore anyway. He had a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach that was telling him that he had botched something between himself and his pretty neighbor. He had no idea what that was though.

Sheldon rubbed his face in frustration, which was yet another thing that he didn't normally do. He didn't want to ruin things with Penny. He enjoyed their sparring and he enjoyed her company, oddly enough. And now she was really angry with him because he had crossed a line. Again. He sighed defeatedly. He would have to face Penny in a few moments. His heart palpitations began again in earnest.

. . .

Penny's heart skipped a beat when Sheldon stepped out onstage. Higgins had come to find Eliza. Sheldon still looked kind of lost, but he said his lines effortlessly. Penny plunged on into the scene with relief and determination. Time to see if she could kick-start the beautiful mind of Sheldon Cooper.

. . .

Sheldon's palms were sweating as he and Penny acted out what was perhaps the most important scene of the entire production. Penny seemed to be feeling the effects of the pressure on them as well. Her face was flushed and she seemed to be trying to tell him something. It had something to do with Higgins and Eliza fighting about Freddy, and there was an odd gleam in her eye…

Then it happened. Penny was talking of "getting a little of her own back," and it made something click into place.

Oh dear God, I'm attracted to Penny! he thought. So that explained his strange behavior of late! But then there was that gleam in Penny's eye… Something else shifted and he could have smacked himself for being so obtuse: The little hellcat knows how I feel! And she's toying with me, trying to get a reaction! Well, Sheldon thought, this is certainly an interesting development.

It was his turn to speak now, and he made sure to let nothing show on his face. Penny must not know that he knew. Sheldon finally saw a way to atone for his thoughtless and clueless behavior. Penny must suspect nothing until the moment came.

. . .

"Have you had enough and will you be reasonable or do you want any more?" Sheldon's face was still too calm. Penny could tell that he wasn't getting it.

Feeling a little frustrated over his total lack of emotional insight, Penny snapped "You want me back to pick up your slippers and put up with your tempers and fetch and carry for you!" If Sheldon wasn't getting the picture, all she could do was keep playing the scene out. Keep playing, and hope.

"I didn't say I wanted you back at all. If you come back you'll be treated as you always have. I can't change my nature or my manners."

Oh. Well, fine then! She huffed angrily.

"I can get along without you! Don't you think I can't!"

"I know you can. I told you, you could. You've never wondered, I suppose, whether… whether I could get along without you? I shall miss you, Eliza. I've learned something from your idiotic notions. I confess that humbly and gratefully."

Penny thought she saw a little spark in Sheldon's eye. No doubt he was enjoying playing the smug little bastard.

"Well, you have my voice on your gramophone. When you feel lonely without me you can turn it on," she quipped. "It has no feelings to hurt," she finished, softly.

She looked into Sheldon's eyes. They were blazing. Never taking his gaze from hers, he murmured "Well, I can't turn your soul on."

Penny's heart melted. It must have shown some on her face, because Sheldon smirked a little. Penny was instantly angry. How dare he play with her like that!

"You are a devil! You can twist the heart in a girl just as easily as some can twist her arms to hurt her. What am I to come back for?"

Penny noticed an odd flicker of something cross his expression, but then Sheldon's face was calm and closed off again. She was locked out.

"For the fun of it. That's why I took you on," he said casually.

Penny felt like a failure for some reason. What if Sheldon never realized what was happening between them? What if they really did turn out like Henry and Eliza, always feeling something more for each other but never really being able to say it before the curtain came down?

She didn't even get much of a reaction when "Eliza" once more played the Freddy card.

"Higgins" scoffed. "In short, you want me to be as infatuated about you as he is, is that it?"

Yes, please! She thought, but stuck to the shreds of her plan and made sure she said what she needed to in a carefree voice. "No, I don't. I want a little kindness. I know I'm a common, ignorant girl, and you're a book-learned gentleman, but I'm not dirt under your feet," she blushed under the intensity of Sheldon's gaze. "What I done…what I did was not for the taxis and the dresses, but because we were pleasant together and I come to…came to care for you. Not to want you to make love to me," here, they both blushed, "and not forgetting the difference between us, but…more friendly-like," she finished lamely.

Sheldon's face went blank again. He paused a moment, then said "Well, of course. That's how I feel," as if she had just said the most obvious thing in the world and like she hadn't felt his heart pounding in time with hers when he had held her in his arms earlier. If they hadn't been on stage, Penny would've tried to make his head explode.

. . .

Sheldon felt a victorious thrill when he saw the furious look on Penny's face. As they continued on into their banter and Penny self-righteously launched into "Without You," he thought: Sheldon Cooper, for the win!

He watched Penny, feeling delighted as "Eliza" attempted to knock "Higgins" down a peg or two.

"What a fool I was! What a dominated fool, to think you were the earth and sky! What a fool I was! What an addle-pated fool! What a mutton headed dolt was I! No, my reverberating friend, you are not the beginning and the end."

"You impudent hussy!" he crowed. "There's not an idea in your head or a word in your mouth that I haven't put there."

Penny put her hands on her hips. "There'll be spring every year without you. England still will be here without you. There'll be fruit on the tree and a shore by the sea. There'll be crumpets and tea without you. Art and music will thrive without you. Somehow Keats will survive without you. And there still will be rain on that plain down in Spain. Even that will remain without you. I can do without you!" She leaned over the chair he was sitting in and glared menacingly. "You, dear friend, who talk so well, you can go to Hartford, Hereford, and Hampshire!" she sprang up again angrily. "They can still rule the land without you. Windsor Castle will stand without you. And without much ado, we can all muddle through without you!"

"You brazen hussy!" he cried in admiration. Penny began circling him, much like a shark does before attacking its prey. Sheldon felt that this was even more enjoyable than their usual back and forth.

"Without your pulling it the tide comes in. Without your twirling it the earth can spin. Without your pushing them the clouds roll by. If they can do without you ducky, so can I!" She whirled on him, looking triumphant. "I shall not feel alone without you. I can stand on my own without you. So go back in your shell, I can do bloody well…"

Sheldon sprang up from his seat, feeling euphoric. "By George! I really did it! I did it! I did it! I said I'd make a woman and indeed I did. I knew that I could do it. I knew it, I knew it. I said I'd make a woman and succeed I did. Eliza," Penny, he thought, "you're magnificent!"

Looking more incensed than ever, Penny snapped "Goodbye Professor Higgins. You shall not be seeing me again," before storming off the stage to loud cheers and enthusiastic applause.

Sheldon smirked. Bazinga!