Yes I know that I am rather late with this so here you go.
Thanks to everyone for reading and Tiggrmommi for her help.
I do not own.
Over the next few weeks I hung out with Jacob more and more. He made me laugh like no one else ever had. He was always so happy it was contagious. The only thing he ever complained about was his roommate who refused to do anything other than lock himself in his room. Jacob had invited him to go out with our group many times but he had always refused. I had yet to meet this roommate but it seemed like it was better off that way anyways.
I still felt that Jacob wanted more than friendship but he didn't push it and I didn't bring it up. It didn't make our relationship awkward and he just always seemed to be there with me. We did homework together, ate together and talked all the time. I knew that I was depending on him way too much but it was nice to have a distraction and I was confident that I had made it clear from the beginning that I was not looking for anything more than a friendship. Edward wasn't constantly on my mind anymore and I began to feel more alive as each day passed. I didn't want to think that there might be a day in which I didn't think of him at all anymore. That was not something that I was willing to entertain.
I actually even started doing things with some of the other girls in the dorm. Slowly but surely I started to have a life at college. I had never been that outgoing so it was nice to find people who I could still be myself with but have a good time. Jacob helped greatly in that regard. He was so personable that people were naturally drawn to him and he had a way of making everyone in our group feel at ease. As the weeks went by we went out more and more in a group setting which helped alleviate some of my worries about his feelings for me.
One day Jacob noticed my bracelet and asked about it.
"Just a gift from an old friend," I looked at it and smiled. All the memories of Edward rushing back to me and making me miss his presence.
"An old friend or an old boyfriend?" I wasn't sure how to answer that. I fingered the charm as I thought of a proper response. How could I sum up everything that he was to me in a simple response?
"He was someone very special," Jacob looked at me closely, smiled and never mentioned it again. Apparently he too was unwilling to push beyond the confines of our friendship.
As time went on Jacob and I did more and more together. All my friends assumed that we were dating even though I steadfastly denied it. They just rolled their eyes and refused to let it go. They couldn't believe that I couldn't see how obviously interested in me he was and that he wasn't hard on the eyes either. I just continued to deny and know that what we had worked for us. I didn't look forward to the day when I could no longer avoid the subject of us dating and the strain it might place on our friendship. Lately I could tell that he was conflicted whenever we were together but I didn't press the subject. One day we would have to face it but I worried about what that might mean for us and so I cherished each day that we had together.
"Bella," we had been eating together one day after class and I had been laughing at something he had said when he got quiet and said my name. I looked down at my hands, not liking the tone that he used when he said my name. It was obvious that he had something on his mind and even more obvious that I wasn't going to be able to avoid it, whatever it was.
"Bella?" I looked into his eyes and saw the confusion that was there. I had my hands clenched together and he reached across the table and wrapped his large hands easily around mine. I looked down at them together, wanting it to look right, to feel right but everything about us as anything more than friends just felt wrong. I sat there, looking at our hands, unable to say anything, wanting him to talk and hoped that I was wrong about this conversation.
"Bella," he said for the third time. "I've tried to respect what you wanted. I've understood that there was someone else, someone very special, " his finger traced my bracelet and I stopped myself from pulling my arm away. He didn't have a right to touch that, his fingers didn't belong on the only piece of Edward that I still had physically with me. "I've waited for you, hoped that one day you might realize how I felt about you. Hoped that one day you would be able to feel the same way about me. Do you think you might be able to Bella?" His grip on my hands tightened slightly and I looked in to his eyes. They were so earnest, so hopeful that I didn't know what to say. I didn't want to break his heart but I also didn't want to lead him on.
"Jacob," I sighed as I said his name. I didn't want to date him but I also didn't want to lose him. What was I waiting for exactly though? Was I waiting for Edward to show up again miraculously? I had effectively taken care of that in Greece. I had already screwed up one relationship. Did I need to continue doing that with everyone that I met? I looked at my bracelet and wondered what I should do. "I don't know Jacob," I couldn't look in his eyes as I talked. I pulled my hands away and put them on my knees and squeezed, hoping that somehow that would help to distract me. "I don't know if I'm ready for a relationship. I can't lose you though, please understand that. I'm not promising anything, I can't but I need you Jacob. I can't promise more than friendship right now and I understand if you aren't willing to accept that," I looked down, trying to hide the tears that pooled in my eyes at the thought of losing him.
"Bella," he placed his hand under my chin and lifted my face until I looked at him. "I can wait. If friendship is all we ever have I can accept that. I do want more but I won't push you. Okay?" I nodded and he leaned over the table and kissed my cheek. I closed my eyes and waited for the rush of heat to my face, the tingle in my body like I had anytime Edward had even been near me but there was nothing. I raised my hand from my knee and squeezed his.
"Thank you for understanding." Just like that we went back to talking as if the conversation had never taken place. I allowed myself to feel confident and to hope that we could forget that this conversation ever took place.
We continued to go out together often. Everything between us was the same except that I noticed that Jacob found reasons to touch me a bit more than he used to. If we went to a movie together he would put his hand on top of mine on the armrest, push my hair out of my eyes and linger just a second longer than necessary. It was never enough to make me uncomfortable and he never pressed for anymore than this so I didn't say anything about it. My friends would just give me a knowing look and said nothing.
One night a bunch of us had made plans to go into town for a concert. A few of us were driving together so we swung by Jacob's dorm to pick him up. I had been there very few times, mainly just running in and out. He didn't like to be there any more than necessary so we avoided it whenever possible. He Tonight though he wasn't waiting on the stairs tonight like he normally would be so I ran out of the car in order to get him while Angela drove around to find a spot.
I ran up the stairs and snuck in the dorm as someone was leaving. I went to the elevator and made my way to room 719. I made a left as the doors opened and went down the hall to his room. As I knocked I dropped my purse on the ground and everything went spilling out onto the floor. I could hear the door open as I got down on my hands and knees to retrieve everything.
"Don't mind me," I laughed. "You ready to go?"
There was no answer from above so I figured it must be Jacob's roommate. I saw a pair of hands join in my pick up. They weren't Jacob's dark strong fingers that were grabbing my things but instead they were long, elegant pale fingers. Fingers that looked familiar but there was no way they belonged to who I thought they did. We grabbed for the same thing and our fingers touched as we both wrapped our hands around a tube of lipstick. I gasped as my fingers felt as though they had been shocked with a jolt of electricity. I held my breath as I looked up and nothing prepared me for who I saw sitting there next to me in the hallway.
A/N – Dum dum dum….who could it be? Hehe
More will be coming sooner rather than later I hope.
Thank you for reading.
Jaime