CHAPTER TWELVE
"You woke up naked with Buffy?!"
Faith slams her stake down that she was in the middle of sharpening, and looks up at Kennedy who has decided to grace Faith with her presence this afternoon. "What is this, high school?" Faith replies, frustrated. "How the hell does everyone find out about this shit??"
"I don't know about everyone, but Buffy told Willow and Willow told me," Kennedy says as she just invites herself into Faith's room. Faith just stares at her. But Kennedy isn't put off by her unwelcoming behavior; instead she smiles and plops down next to her. "So, details?"
"Apparently you already got them from Willow," Faith responds as she picks up her stake again, gripping her blade as she flecks off pieces of wood.
"Not the same thing," Kennedy tells her. "Besides," she goes on, with a little taunt in her voice, "Don't you want to know what Buffy said about it…?"
"Do I look fifteen to you?"
"No, you look like a woman who's hopelessly in love and therefore needs to know if she has a chance in hell. Don't you want to know…?" Still with the taunting. Faith tries to ignore her, but her curiosity is peaked. She acts nonchalant though as she focuses on sharpening.
"You know, you getting your lesbian kicks through me is really fucking weird. You do have a woman of your own, you know."
"Just tell me."
Faith rolls her eyes as she lets out a breath, putting her stake down before looking at her. She cocks an eyebrow. "I don't know. We got drunk, we made out, we fought, made out some more, probably while naked, and apparently didn't have sex. The end."
Kennedy scoffs. "Alright, even Buffy gave more detail than that."
"What do you want me to say, Ken? I don't want to get all fuckin' googly eyed and get my hopes up and whatever else about this. B said she needed time, and knowing her that could be years," Faith says. And it's the truth. While she was absolutely ecstatic for a little while, she realized that Buffy is the queen of indecisiveness when it comes to her romantic life, and it might take forever for her to even come to a decision about them. So basically, she's back where she started, only this time she has the ghost of Buffy's lips lingering on hers and memories that make a lot better masturbation material than her fantasies just because they're real.
"Years? Please. I give it a week tops," Kennedy says with her little cocky know-it-all attitude. Faith just looks at her skeptically, so Kennedy leans forward, putting her elbows on her knees as she looks at her. "Look, the girl's into you. I know it, you know it, and more importantly, she knows it. It won't take long before she cracks."
Faith doesn't say anything for a moment, but only cause she's battling with herself over a asking a question or not. She loses though, and she asks begrudgingly, "What did Buffy say about me?"
"HA!" Kennedy says, a smile of victory on her face as she has the nerve to point at her. "I knew you couldn't stand it for long!"
"Fuck off, seriously."
"You need to work on your manners," Kennedy tells her pointedly, but sits back and crosses her legs as she looks at her, this smirk lingering on her lips. "Well, for starters, she told Willow that you were beautiful." That makes Faith raise her eyebrows, and Kennedy's smirk widens. "And…" she draws out.
"Don't pull this crap, come on."
Kennedy chuckles, "This is fun for me, I gotta prolong it for my own benefit."
"You act like I won't kick your ass out this fucking door," Faith growls, grumpy. She doesn't want to be played with today. Especially not over something like this.
"You seriously have way too much tension, when's the last time you got laid?" Kennedy asks, commenting on her violent little tendencies she's been having lately.
Faith sighs, leaning back on her bed. She stares at the ceiling. "I dunno. Like a week?" Fuck. It really has been far too long.
"Oh, ouch. No wonder."
"Well it's not like I can go pick up any random person anymore; last time I did I got my ass handed to me by Buffy. Really not looking to start another fight right now."
Kennedy smirks, leaning down to lie on the bed next to her. "You can't say that Buffy getting all jealous and violent over you doesn't get you going though." She prods her a bit, making all these little faces that Faith almost wants to slap off of her. Why does she talk to this girl? Really.
"Just tell me what she said, damn."
Kennedy smirks, playing with the comforter a bit as she talks, "That kissing you was one of the best kisses she's ever had in her life."
Faith whips her head around to face her instead of the ceiling, and fuck; she thinks she just pulled something. She rubs her neck as she asks, "Seriously?"
"Mhm…" Kennedy says with a smile, but then she shrugs and sighs. "But you know her. She thinks if she has sex with you the whole world will come to an end. Big angst; fight-to-the-death… whatever it is with you guys.
"That's a little fucking dramatic."
"It's Buffy."
"…Good point," Faith says, then picks herself back up to a sitting position. She sighs as she puts her hands together and rests them on her lips for a second, her elbows on her knees as she stares at the wall. Then all of a sudden she's up again, slapping her hands on her thighs. "And she's right, ain't she? I mean, us? All we're gonna do is fight and fuck if we start doing this whole thing. Which, yeah, alright, the fuckin' part would be great and all that but we're just gonna end up destroying each other. I love her, she thinks I'm hot, yeah whatever, one day. The next? We're both trying to tear each other's fucking faces off."
"Okay, both of you with all this drama is getting stupid," Kennedy tells her, looking at her pointedly. "You love her, Faith. You guys have this weird little connection or something, whatever the hell Willow was talking about, and it's like… alright, I don't want to say destiny, but I'll say it anyway."
Faith scoffs, "Over the top, ya think?"
"As opposed to you two?" Kennedy says, then mocks, with dramatic little swooning gestures, "Oh, I love her soooo much but if we ever pursue this relationship we'll bring about the next apocalypse!" She folds her arms into herself and raises a brow, "Really. Get over yourselves. If you two do the naked thing, I highly doubt some Big Bad is going to rise from hell."
"It's not just the naked thing!" Faith exclaims, getting up and grabbing her stake, twirling it in her fingers as she walks around. "It's more than just down and dirty fucking, here. This is Buffy."
"Like I said; get over yourselves. Buffy ain't all that, and frankly neither are you, so really? Just get your girl and move on with her in your life. You guys are completely into torturing yourselves, and it's getting old."
"Fuck off."
"Once again with the manners," Kennedy says, but stands up. "Hey," she says softer, looking at her. Faith makes a point not to look back at her, a scowl on her face as she focuses on the stake in her hand. "In all seriousness… you love her. Just do what feels right, but don't torture yourself because you think you can't handle the bad. No relationship is perfect."
"Whatever," Faith mumbles, biting the inside of her cheek a little. She knew she was right, but that didn't make her any less freaked out about it. It's like everything she's ever wanted is really within her reach, fuckin' finally… and what does she do? She finds reasons why she can't just take it. It's so damn typical for her that the repetitiveness of the entire thing really makes her kind of hate herself.
Besides, the word relationship makes her scoff a bit. Not that she didn't want that with Buffy. She's just never been one for dates, flowers, moon eyes, and the touchy-feeliness… but with her? She's pretty sure she could manage. Hopefully, anyway. But Buffy wanting to be in a relationship with her? See, there's one of two ways this whole thing can go: One, Buffy decides she does want to get down and dirty with her, they do it a couple times, end up in some big fight, blah blah. The fucking end, thanks for playing the game. Two, she tells her she's completely straight and that last night was due to misjudgments and too much vodka.
A relationship didn't exactly fit in the picture.
Kennedy left, leaving her to her thoughts. Later that night, she took the troops on patrol… with Buffy. Weekends were always the busiest, so they had to double up the man power. Honestly, Faith was surprised Buffy let them take last night off, because she was usually General Uptight about it. But the group did deserve at least one big hurrah for the whole saving the world from impending doom thing, and at least everyone else had fun.
Well, alright, she did have fun. Obviously. With Buffy's tongue down her throat and the nakedness, that usually equaled fun. If they just wiped the fight out of the picture, and the morning awkwardness, it was damn near close to a successful first date. Though not like Faith has any others to compare it too.
The word date in her head makes her snort out loud though since it was so close to ridiculous that she found it amusing, and a couple people, including Buffy, turn to look at her in question.
"Just… thought of something funny," Faith mumbles, not really wanting all the attention right now, which was probably a shocker, but hey. Patrolling with Buffy after their conversation that morning was weird. They barely even spoke to each other besides a few awkward, "Hi's."
"Least you're having fun in your head," Rona says with a bit of a huff as she plays with her axe. "This is boring." She swings her weapon a little absentmindedly, almost cutting Vi in the process.
"Hey, watch it!"
"Gotta agree there," Kennedy interjects, like always. Faith is ninety eight percent sure that if this girl doesn't stick her opinion in at every chance she gets, her head might explode. "There are ten of us and we've killed two vampires. Two."
"Look guys, I know this isn't the most active patrol we've had, but we have to stick to the schedule. One more hour," Buffy tells them, to which everyone groans. "We can spread out, cover more ground. But stay in each other's line of sight and if there's a problem, yell for either Faith or myself."
Some people were heard mocking Buffy under their breaths, but Buffy chose to ignore it. Faith, however, didn't. "Hey, do what she says and stop bitching. This is training, not a walk on the fuckin' beach."
"Way to defend your woman," Kennedy says in this amused little tone and a fist thrust in the air, and for a split second Faith has the urge to rip her head off of her body.
Instead she just gives her a sarcastic smile and flips her off. "Eat me."
"Otherwise engaged, but thanks for the offer."
Buffy was turning pink all through that exchange, especially with the few stares in her direction from the Slayers that didn't wander off far enough to not be in hearing range. "Faith, don't," she says quietly, embarrassed, as Kennedy just looks at them in amusement before going off with Rona, leaving the two slayers alone. "I can handle myself."
"I just don't like people mouthin' off to you, B."
"I know, and… I appreciate the 'grr' and all, but I can handle it," Buffy tells her softly. She looked all kinds of awkward and embarrassed over it, so Faith threw up her hands in defense.
"Hey, sorry. You want the troops to disrespect, it's cool."
"That's not…" Buffy starts, but sighs a little. "They're just frustrated. Do you remember when we first got our powers? It's like nothing could touch us. We just wanted to just kill demons all day long." She pauses, then admits, "Well okay, that was more you than me, but I did enjoy it a lot at the beginning, and I remember being frustrated when there was no action. They just have pent up energy. Let them live through a few apocalypses and then have them run through a cemetery when it's quiet. That's the only time they'll be thankful that it is."
"Way to make us sound old," Faith says, but she smirks a little, glancing in her direction out of the corner of her eyes. She meant to just look away, but Buffy's eyes catch hers and she smiles a little before shrugging.
"We are old, at least for being Slayers."
"Hey, come on," Faith says, twirling her stake in between her fingers. "You know us. We ain't gonna be dying any time soon. I'm willin' to put money on us fifty years from now, kicking undead ass with our walkers together." She laughs a little at that mental picture, then she realizes how that sounded. Like she meant she wanted to grow old with Buffy. Them. Together. She quickly says, "Didn't mean that the way it sounded."
"…I didn't think anything of it until just now," Buffy tells her quietly, and Faith feels like an idiot for opening her mouth and basically putting the idea in her head when she was trying to dismiss it. They're silent for a little while as they walk through the headstones, keeping their eyes on their little disciples. Finally Buffy says, "Do we… should we talk?"
"We talked this morning," Faith says, not looking at her. "And, y'know, I get it. I respect it. It's cool. I can do the space thing, back off for a bit. Be over here," she moves away from her a bit, to get her point across, "until you need me. Or don't. Or. Whatever." She finally lets herself glance in her direction, though only for her little self reward for making that come out sounding okay and not the sad mess that she really felt about it.
"Have you done the… space thing, before?" Buffy asks carefully, then makes a face. "That was stupid, of course you haven't. No relationships." Then her eyes go wide. "Not that this is a… you know. Just. With the feelings, it's kind of not just a sex thing, so I don't know if there's any other word besides… you know. But not that you know is completely off the table, cause it's not. But it's not all the way on the table either, maybe like suspending mid-air, like some haunted book, or maybe a haunted muffin? I think I heard about a haunted muffin once, though I really wouldn't compare it to a relat—"
"B," Faith says, amused. "You're babbling."
"Right. Sorry," Buffy says, turning pink again. It makes Faith smile a little, cause fuck. Buffy was cute. And yeah, that word ain't normally in her vocabulary but right now? With the babbling and the embarrassment? She was very cute.
"You're cute when you do that," Faith tells her, then wants to punch herself in the flippin' jaw. Alright. Brain? Mouth? Meet filter. Fuckin' ridiculous.
Buffy looks down, her pink turning into a brighter shade of red. "Sorry," Faith says, automatically. "Backing off. Shouldn't have said that."
"No, it's fine," Buffy says softly, trying to get over her embarrassment. "It's just… weird," she admits, looking up at her again. "Not the woman thing. Well, okay, that's weird too. But. You. You and the sweet comments? I'm used to… sex comments. The sweet is kind of throwing me for a loop."
"Sorry," Faith mumbles again, and now it's her turn to be embarrassed. The sweet thing was new for her too. Not that she didn't always have sickingly sweet comments floating in her brain all damn day about the woman, but voicing them out loud? That would be a first. For anyone.
"No. It's… good," Buffy says finally, but then looks a bit awkward for admitting that. She turns away from her, choosing to look at the troops and their endless boredom. "I mean it's nice. And. I um, I appreciate them."
"Well… you're welcome then," Faith says slowly, like she doesn't know what to say to that.
"And it's not just you," Buffy blurts out suddenly. "It's not just the relationship with you thing that's got me wigged. It's all of my relationships. And all the bad. It's always just heartbreak and pain and I don't think I'm ready to do that again right now."
"B… you sure this is the time to talk about this?" Faith asks, thinking it's a little soon since Buffy said she needed space. Besides, they were in the middle of patrolling with eight other slayers. Granted, not a single one was paying attention to them, but still.
"No," Buffy says, fiddling with her own stake nervously, "But I just… wanted you to know."
"Noted and filed. Relationships; bad."
"No, Faith. No," Buffy says, sounding exasperated with her. She finally looks at her again as she says, "I'm not saying poo on relationships. I know you've never done the relationship thing so I'm not trying to tell you that when you finally do that I'm all 'no, relationships are evil' now, cause I'm not. I'm just… wary of them, at the moment."
"Got it," Faith says, keeping her answers short and sweet. But Buffy looks disgruntled.
"You know, opinions would be helpful here."
"You know me, not much of a talker," Faith says, avoiding her gaze. But Buffy keeps staring at her expectantly so she sighs, attempting to get in on the whole talking thing. "Fine. No, I ain't never done a relationship. No, I don't know if I'd be any good at it. No, I'm not sure it'll work out between us either, and no, I don't know if I can wait for you. There, happy? Everything you need to know between this morning and now."
Buffy blinks, not really expecting that. "Okay…" she says slowly. "Hated that last answer, but I did ask for it. Though, not specifically, so kinda wish you didn't say that out loud."
"Well what do you expect me to do, B?" Faith asks, rounding on her, making her stop. "You know me. Always gettin' some. About to go stir crazy and it's only been a week."
"So what?" Buffy asks, putting her hands on her hips. "Are you saying that if I did do this… thing with you, and I wanted to wait a little while, that you'd run off and cheat on me because I wasn't putting out?"
"What? No. I didn't say that. Don't put fuckin' words in my mouth, Buffy."
"Well what's the difference then?" Buffy asks, clearly annoyed now.
But Faith doesn't have a chance to answer, because all of a sudden they hear a scream, their names being called, and they're both taking off towards the sound without a moment's hesitation. Talking would have to come later.
TBC…