A/N: Starting to get notifications now... they completely just flooded my inbox haha. Also, I found an end to this story, it'll be twenty chapters total :)

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

Before they went down to breakfast, Buffy pulls Faith to the side, wrapping her arms around her neck, "Hey… can you do me a favor?" She's got all kinds of puppy dog eyes going on, and Faith knows she should be wary of it, but the stupid part of her brain takes over.

Faith runs her fingers up the back of Buffy's shirt, teasing her skin a little. "Anything."

"Can we not… tell people just yet? This has all happened really fast and I think I need some time to get used to it before we deal with everyone else's reaction… okay? Please?" She gives her the sweetest smile in the world, and Faith feels herself melting against her better judgment.

"Sure, B. It's cool," she tells her, though she doesn't have the best feeling about it in the world. But if that's what Buffy needs then she's gonna try to give it to her. Try to do the whole being a good girlfriend thing.

Girlfriend. That's a mind fuck and a half. But it makes her smile.

"…But you know Willow knows already, right? And I'd put money on it that she already told Kennedy," Faith finishes, and Buffy sighs, leaning her head against her chest.

"Yeah, let me go stop that fun-train before it's leaked to every person in this building," she says, but doesn't get up for a moment. She just leans against her, and Faith tightens her grip, pulling her closer. Buffy takes a small breath, closing her eyes for a moment, just feeling how it feels for them to be together in this way.

"This is so screwed up," Faith mumbles, not being able to stop it from coming out of her mouth. Buffy looks up at her in question. "Just… us. This. Didn't ever really think that you'd be for the Faith lovin', is all. Still trying to get used to it too, I guess."

Buffy smiles, balling her shirt up in her fist and pulling her gently towards her. "I know what you mean. But…" her smile widens, a naughty hint behind the innocence. She leans up and whispers against her lips, "I think I like the Faith-lovin'."

"Yeah?" Faith asks with a dirty little smirk of her own, before Buffy squeals a bit as Faith picks her up, pressing her back against the wall and having Buffy's legs wrap around her waist. The heats of their mouths collide again, and Buffy's fingers tangle in Faith's hair as she's breathless against her lips.

It's brief, but passionate. As they pull apart Buffy tells her, her breathing a bit uneven, "Okay, horn-dog. Let me go talk to Willow and Kennedy. I'll meet you down there for breakfast."

Faith smiles, placing a light kiss on her lips. "Okay. But hurry up, cause you know I'll eat it all if you take too long." She gives her a taunting look before turning around and sauntering down the hall, only faintly hearing Buffy's call of,

"You better not!"

Being with Buffy wasn't easy, but it wasn't hard either. It took some time for Faith to completely wrap her mind around the fact that she could kiss her whenever she wanted now. That she didn't just have to feel it fester beneath the surface, threatening to explode. There was the tension, sure. They both felt it. After a good slay, the predator would come out in them and things bordered on going too far.

Buffy seemed to relax a little more about the thought of being with a woman; about being with Faith. She was a bit bipolar about it sometimes, but when it came down to it, in the end, she was always wrapped in Faith's arms because they both knew she should be there. The connection flowed through them deeper, making them feel more like one entity than ever before, making them feel like it was impossible for them to ever really be apart again. They talked about it and they both feared it might start to hurt physically, because as the connection deepened, it did so, on almost a psychic level. They could feel each other without even touching; they could even feel the other's emotions at times. It felt so good, it felt too damn good. Which is why they thought that if it turned bad that it would cause them real pain. Which actually ended up burdening them, because they tried way too hard to not get into fights now.

Which is why it's been two weeks since they've been dating, and Faith hasn't said one word about how she's feeling on the fact that Buffy hasn't told anyone about them yet. She could deal with the no sex thing. It sucked and it drove her insane but she understood why Buffy wanted their relationship to go slow. What she didn't understand though was why Buffy wanted her to be her dirty little secret.

Well, fuck. Alright. She did get that. She got that more than she'd like to admit. But it still didn't stop it from hurting.

The only time it seemed like they could ever be together was in the privacy of one of their rooms. Outside of it, Faith was just another Slayer, there to train the newbies. Buffy barely even looked at her during those times, and it would make the pain slowly crawl up her throat and suffocate her. But she dealt. She dealt because she didn't want the drama, didn't want the fights. She just wanted it to be good with her and Buffy, but the fact was… no matter how good it was behind closed doors, it still hurt like a fuckin' bitch when they were out in the world.

"What are you thinking about?" Buffy asks one night when Faith's lying on her side, Buffy behind her, as they watch TV. Buffy's been experimenting with the psychic level of the connection recently, trying to see how deep it goes and how far it extends. Faith can feel her playing with it as she asks, running her hand over her arm. She knows she's not touching her, yet she can still feel it. It's a warmth that spreads deep through her pores and runs wild in her bloodstream. Faith shivers a bit instinctively.

"Nothing," she says softly, not wanting to bring it up. She stares through the television absentmindedly, not focusing on it.

"You're a bad liar, you know," Buffy tells her gently. Faith can feel the connection start to weaken a bit as Buffy pulls her hand farther away. Then all of a sudden it stops all together.

"Can't feel it anymore," Faith says, ignoring her observation. Buffy lowers her hand slowly, until she can feel it again. "There, stop. What are we up to?"

"About six inches," Buffy tells her.

"Damn. Maybe we should tell Giles."

"He's just going to want to experiment on us," Buffy says, and Faith rolls over to face her, raising an eyebrow. Buffy rolls her eyes, "Well okay, maybe not experiment in like an alien probe manner, but he's gonna want to test it with us. And what do we tell him about how it started? He's not gonna buy that it just happened all of a sudden."

"I don't know, maybe the truth," Faith mumbles before she can stop herself. Buffy looks down at her.

"Faith…"

"Forget it," Faith says, rolling back over to the look at the television. She can feel Buffy's worry and her fear, though only dully, in the background of her own emotions. She tries to ignore it. But the problem is that since Faith can slightly feel her emotions, it meant it worked in reverse too.

"You're mad at me," Buffy states. She knows. She can feel it.

"Don't worry about it."

"I haven't been worrying about it for days now. But it's starting to fester. When you start to get mad at yourself and don't know why, it's a little disconcerting." She runs her hand down Faith's arm, this time with physical contact. Faith doesn't turn around. She's starting to get a bit pissed and she can't stop it.

"You know why."

"Well what do you want me to do?" Buffy exclaims. "I'm just not ready to prance around and be like 'Hey world! I'm a great big giant lesbian with Faith!' I mean, I'm just not ready yet, okay?!" Her fear was flowing through her now, starting to seep way too deep into Faith, and so Faith gets up, moving away from her. "Where are you going!?"

"Really don't need your fear on top of my anger, thanks!" Faith snaps back at her.

"Well why do you think I'm shrieking?!" Buffy, well, shrieks. "Now you've got me pissed off! Damnit!" She picks up one of Faith's pillows and throws it at her, but Faith really couldn't give a crap less about a soft object being chucked in her general direction so she just backs up, trying to get away from the emotional range. It extended much farther than the physical, and when they were about six feet from each other, they could feel the other start to slip away.

They just stare at each other.

"Don't you think we should talk to Giles about this, B? Look at us. What happens if we're in the middle of kicking some demon's ass and this shit starts happening? What if he's got you down, a knife to your throat, and you're scared? And there I fucking am, the only other damn person who's gonna get you out of that, but instead I'm hit with both your fear and mine? Think about it! We need to fix this shit, or learn how to control it!"

"Well I don't want Giles to know we're getting naked together!" Buffy yells, and the intensity makes the boundaries push, making them both back up.

"But we're not getting naked with each other!" Faith yells back, her frustration with that matter becoming all too clear. It's been three weeks since she's gotten laid. She hasn't gone that long since she lost her virginity.

"Oh, and that is what this is all about, right?" Buffy snaps. "I don't give you a piece of my ass and you get all pissed off!"

"I'm not mad at you because of that! It's frustrating as fuck, okay, yes, but that's not why I'm pissed! Fuck, B, how would you feel if someone you were in love with hides you like their dirty, skanky laundry!?"

"That's not how I think of you!" Buffy says, her eyes widening from the shock of that. She gets up, apparently feeling the need to prove that, but as she walks towards her their emotions start mixing.

"Stop! Stop, Buffy! Back up!" Faith yells, backing up herself, not being able to handle the intensity of it. She was angry, scared, frustrated, worried… upset? Over loss. No, maybe it was fear of loss. Upset about… damnit she can't think! It's just way too much to handle, and when Buffy starts to feel it too she backs up onto the bed again.

It's never been like this. The emotions of each other have never been this overwhelming. Maybe it was because fear, anger; they were dominant emotions. Almost like how brunettes dominate over blondes in the gene pool. Brown eyes dominate blue. Something like that, Faith wasn't sure. Lust… lust had been a dominating one for them before too, but it never got this out of control.

"Faith please…" Buffy says softly, almost begging. It makes Faith snap out of it and look at her. "I don't think of you like that, you have to believe me. I'm just scared of what everyone's going to say."

"Buffy, your sister already thinks we're getting horizontal with each other, and that was before we even started dating. Xander already stated he didn't want to know. Willow and Kennedy already know. The only people you're scared to know about it is Giles and Angel."

At the mention of Angel's name, Buffy freezes. Yeah, what she fuckin' thought.

"Exactly," Faith says off of her reaction, and she turns towards the door. Fuck this. She's out.

"No, Faith! Don't leave, please," Buffy calls out after her, not getting up for fear of another emotional rollercoaster. Faith knows she should keep going, but she stops. Probably because she's so hopelessly in love with this woman that it effects her storming out dramatically ability.

Faith crosses her arms over her chest, "You got thirty seconds. Make it good." Buffy doesn't say anything, trying to think. "Fifteen," Faith warns.

"Alright fine we'll tell Giles!" she bursts out suddenly. Faith crosses her arms and raises an eyebrow. "And… everyone else…" she mumbles.

"Thank you."

Buffy doesn't say anything; she just starts picking at the down comforter self consciously. Faith hesitates before she comes over to her, "You still mad?" she asks carefully.

"No," Buffy mumbles. "You were the one mad. I was the one terrified, remember?"

"It's gonna be fine, Buffy. I promise," Faith tells her as she slowly makes her way back over to her. She can start to feel some of Buffy's fear, but it's not taking over. More like in the back of her mind. So she sits down next to her and brushes a piece of hair behind the blonde's ear. Buffy still won't look at her, and Faith doesn't know what to say. She knows it might not be okay and she knew she had no right to promise her that. She knows that there are some people that are still wary about her. Angel isn't one of them, but he's a problem on an entirely different matter. Faith's pretty sure he's still in love with her, at least on some level.

But there was something else wrong with Buffy right now. Not just the telling people thing. She was upset about something, Faith could feel it. "B?" she asks carefully, stroking her hair a little. "What's got you upset?"

Buffy picks at the comforter for a little bit, and when she speaks she doesn't look at her. "That was the first time you ever told me you were in love with me. With you saying the actual words. To my face. And it was in the middle of a fight." She looks absolutely distraught over it. Faith didn't even realize she did it.

Shit. Way for her to ruin a moment.

"Buffy…" she says softly, not really knowing what she's supposed to do. She puts her finger on her chin, making her look at her, and she decides to go with her instinct. She caresses her cheek gently, looks her in the eyes, and says, "I'm in love with you, Buffy. I'm so fucking in love with you that I don't know what to do with myself sometimes. You're absolutely everything to me. Without you I feel completely lost, like I'm missing a part of myself…" she leans her forehead to hers gently, and she can see Buffy's eyes start to water. "No, no, don't cry, come on B…"

But a tear slides down Buffy's cheek. Faith leans down and kisses it away and then Buffy just breaks. She's sobbing now, and Faith has no idea what to do. She didn't want her to cry! She wraps her in her arms, holding her close as Buffy soaks her shoulder. "Shh… come on baby, don't cry…" but the mention of the word 'baby', a name Faith had never called her before, just made her cry more.

And then lips are on hers. She's sobbing into her mouth but kissing her with so much passion that Faith's pretty sure she has no idea what's going on, but just goes with it. She has a vague feeling it could be happy tears, but she's never really had them herself, or seen anyone else have them for that matter, and this just kind of seemed like regular distraught crying. But Buffy's arms are around her neck, her tears are splashing on Faith's cheeks, and Faith can't do anything else but just kiss her back and hold her tighter.

But then Buffy's hands are under her shirt, roaming her stomach. She starts to push into her deeper, her breathing labored from the crying and the passion. Her hands grab Faith's shirt and starts to pull it up over her head, but Faith stops her. Buffy pulls back, looking at her confused.

"Buffy… you don't gotta put out just cause I said I'm in love with you," Faith tells her.

"I'm… I'm not…" Buffy says, but the way she said it makes it sound like she isn't that sure. Faith raises an eyebrow skeptically and Buffy sighs, sniffing as she wipes the rest of her tears away with the back of her hand. "Okay fine, I was. But you made such a beautiful speech, what am I supposed to do? I'm not ready to say it back yet…"

"I know," Faith says. "But you don't gotta fuck me cause of it. Not if you're not ready. I might need it real bad but I ain't gonna let you do something you aren't sure you wanna do."

"Faith," Buffy says, disapproval in her voice. "When we have sex, we are not going to 'fuck'. That's such an ugly word."

Faith rolls her eyes. Of all the things to comment on, of course it's that.

But Buffy isn't put off by the eye roll. She just gives her a sexy smile and strokes her face lightly. "When we have sex it's going to be romantic… with the lighting, and the perfect place, and with all the slow and the passionate… it'll be—" she's going off into her own fantasy happy place, Faith can tell.

But Faith interrupts, "So wait. You want me to like, cover the bed in rose petals and put out candles and shit like that?" She smirks a little, but Buffy hits her on the arm. Hard. Faith winces.

"Don't laugh!"

"Ow, I'm not laughing," Faith says, rubbing her arm. "Just I ain't… done all that before. Do you need Barry Manilow playing in the background too? I'm just trying to take notes, here."

Buffy scoffs. "No. We don't need Barry involved. I don't know. There doesn't need to be rose petals. Or candles, though they would be nice. I don't know, I just… I want it to be special."

Faith doesn't understand that. "It'll already be special because I'll be having sex with you."

"Really?" Buffy asks, in this far too girly and wispy manner. She's smiling now like Faith said the sweetest thing in the world when it was only just the truth. Faith blinks.

"Yeah, duh."

Buffy hits her again. Is she in an abusive relationship now? Jeez.

"Ow! Stop doing that!"

"Well you keep ruining moments, asshole."

"Hey, I told you I ain't done the girlfriend thing before. I'm trying. Give me some credit," Faith says, rubbing her arm again. Buffy sighs, almost a bit dramatically, and takes Faith's arm.

"Come here, big baby," she says, then starts kissing where she hit her. Okay, Faith likes that. She watches her place feather light kisses all the way up her arm, then comes in to capture Faith's lips softly. "Sorry," she whispers. "I know you're trying."

"See? Just give me my props where I'm due and I'm five by five."

Buffy narrows her eyes. "You know I almost hit you again, right? Stop with the snark."

"Yes, Ma'am," Faith says sarcastically, but she's smiling. Buffy smiles too and kisses her again. Lightly, but it shot so much feeling down to Faith's core.

"Good girl."

TBC…