A/N: In regards to one reviewer who said "I don't know why, but I got a feeling this might get bad..." I LOL and tell you all that you get that feeling cause I'm a sucker for angst, pain, and drama. Haha. Anyway, for those of you enjoying this story, I'm also writing another one right now called "The Chain of Destiny", so look that up if you have the time :)

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

"Faith…"

Faith stops in her tracks from the sound of the voice. She was on her way to Buffy's room, where she's sure the slayer is stomping around and pouting, but she turns instead to see Angel leaning against the wall. Faith feels her stomach drop to the ground. Man, she didn't want to do this without Buffy. She feels like she owes Angel her life, and stealing his girl? Not a nice payback.

"Hey… Angel," Faith says, clearly uncomfortable. She runs her fingers through her hair and looks around, seeing if they were alone. They were.

"It's okay," he tells her, noticing how nervous she's getting. He gets off of the wall and comes over to her. "I'm not mad at you."

That didn't help Faith much, and Angel can see it. She wraps her arms around herself and tries to force a smile, but it just comes out looking awkward. "Sorry…" she says, her eyes shifting. She felt like she didn't really deserve to look at him. She shrugs a little, self conscience. "I should've told you… we should've told you. You weren't supposed to find out like that…"

"Faith, me and Buffy have been over for a long time now," Angel reminds her. Faith still won't look at him. She feels vulnerable all of a sudden. "And I know how you've felt about her for awhile now," he finishes. That makes Faith look at him.

"What am I, an open book now?" She's a bit defensive, she can hear it in her voice, and it makes her cringe a bit.

"Let's just say lying has never been your strong point," Angel tells her. "And hiding things goes along with that."

"Hid it from B well enough."

"Buffy sees what she wants to see," Angel says. Faith's back to not looking at him again. "You might think you're the world's greatest imposter, but I figured out how you felt a long time ago. It wasn't that hard after you tried to destroy everything Buffy had just because you couldn't have her."

"Really not looking to have a sit down about old times," Faith says, avoiding his gaze. Her eyes do flicker to him for a second, but they fall to the floor again as she tightens the hold on herself.

"Faith…" he says, and she looks at him again as he puts his hand on her shoulder. "Just be good to her," he finishes. Faith doesn't say anything, she just nods, and he squeezes her shoulder a little before walking off down the hall. Faith lets out a breath she didn't realize she was holding and turns to watch him disappear around the corner.

Well, on a scale from one to suck, that didn't go so bad.

She makes her way up to Buffy's room slowly, trying to give herself time to think about what Giles told her she needs to do. But she can't come up with a plan, has no fuckin' clue how to go about any of that, so when she reached Buffy's door she had nothing. She sighs and knocks on it, and she decided to take Buffy's yell of "Go away!" to mean "Come on in!" and opens the door.

"Are you deaf?" Buffy snaps as she watches Faith come in and close the door behind her. Faith's glad right about now that she doesn't feel how pissed off she is, otherwise they'd probably throw down.

She tries to keep her own emotions under control as she comes back with, "Actually I'm a slayer, so I tend to have immaculate hearing, but thanks for the concern."

Buffy just glares at her.

Faith sighs, stuffing her hands in her pockets. "Look, B—"

"What did you do with my body?" Buffy asks all of a sudden, the anger still not gone from her face.

"What?"

"My body, when you took it out for a little joy ride around the town. What did you do with it?" Buffy snaps. Faith's eyes go wide.

"Why the hell are we talking about this now?"

"Because I think you're a liar!" Buffy exclaims, now obviously just wanting to fight about anything just to fight. It was starting to piss Faith off, and she couldn't stop it. "You're all 'Oh Buffy, I want to see you naked, I want to touch you' and yet you've been wanting in my pants forever now, so don't tell me that the first thing you did when you got my body was start memorizing every detail and having yourself a little hands on!"

"Are you shitting me with this?!" Faith screams, now completely infuriated. She was right, yeah, she was right, but fuck, she ain't gonna tell her that. And the way she said it was just so fucking cruel that it makes Faith want to hit her. She clenches her fist, trying to stop that urge. But now Buffy's all up in her face, taunting her.

"I bet it killed you," she says in an evil whisper. "Knowing the only way you could ever touch me was that way. I bet that's why you did it."

Faith's fist collides with Buffy's face before she can stop herself, but Buffy doesn't hit her back. She just rubs her jaw, a little smile of victory on her face. "I knew it."

"Go to hell!" Faith screams, her eyes stinging from the tears threatening to fall. Why was she doing this? But she sets her jaw tightly. She was not going to cry. She wasn't.

"Aw, are you gonna cry now?" But she has a quiver in her voice, almost like she's going to too but she's trying to hold onto the fury. But Faith doesn't hear it; she can't concentrate after what Buffy just said to her.

That was it. Faith launches herself at her, but Buffy ducks and she misses. It's a fight of pure, angry, blinding fury as things get broken and harsh words are said. Faith's jaw hurts, her side hurts, and she's pretty sure a couple of her knuckles are broken. But she can't take it, she can't take this; the fighting, how cruel Buffy was being, and when Buffy's got her pinned, spitting more harsh words in her face… she feels herself start to break.

"Why are you doing this?!" Faith sobs, not being able to control the tears anymore. It hurts so badly, through every part of her body and she can't deal with it. Buffy looks down at her and Faith can see her start to break down too. She gets off of her, choking back a sob, and Faith sits up. Buffy covers her face in her hands as she gets away from her, her own tears starting to fall as she backs up and curls herself into a ball near the bed, her legs pulled up close to her chest.

"I'm sorry…" she manages to get out through her tears.

"You're sorry?!" Faith yells, furiously wiping at the wetness on her cheeks. She gets up and backs herself far enough away from Buffy so that she knows she won't be affected by her anger. "What the hell is wrong with you?!"

"I was trying to make it stop!" Buffy cries, uncovering her face to look at her. Her mascara was streaked down her cheeks. "I was trying to make myself scared of it! That's what you want, right?! I thought that maybe if I got you to hate me, if I felt that, that it would scare me enough and that it would stop!"

"You're fucking sick!" Faith screams, the pain clear in her voice. "You… you're fucking screwed up in the head! Like put you in a straightjacket fucked up! How could you do that to me?! Was it fun for you?!"

"No!" Buffy cries, looking at her desperately. "Please, Faith… I didn't mean anything that I said; I just wanted it to stop. I was trying to make it stop for you!"

"And you do that by hurting me?!"

"Faith… please…"

"No, Buffy. No! I am not your fucking lap dog that you can just shit all over whenever it's convenient! You crossed the fuckin' line," Faith tells her, her voice shaking from the fury and the pain. She looks at her like she has no idea who's in front of her before she heads towards the door.

"Faith!"

"Stay away from me," Faith says in a low voice as she pulls open the door. She doesn't look back at her, even when she hears her name being called again. She just walks right out and slams the door, making the doorframe shake from the force.

She cried for what felt like forever, but probably was only a few days. She just didn't understand how Buffy could do that to her, not after everything. She understood her wanting to make it stop, but there was no way in hell she had to do that. It didn't even fucking work anyway, so all it did was just tear their relationship to shreds. She tore her down and broke her apart for something that didn't even work.

Two days after their fight, Faith was still cooped up in her room. The only time she would ever come out was to get something to eat and at the moment she was starved. She starts walking down the hallway, always hesitant when she walks past Buffy's room. Every time she walks past she hears her crying, sometimes to Willow. It hurts, but she's too pissed to care. She's almost a safe distance away, almost in the damn elevator… when it opens and she comes face to face with Kennedy.

"Great," Faith deadpans.

"Going down?" Kennedy asks her with a little smile that Faith does not feel at all comfortable with.

"I think I'll take the stairs," Faith says, turning around. But of course, because the world fucking hates her, Kennedy is hot on her heels.

"Good idea, I could use the exercise."

"Is there something you wanted?" Faith snaps, too upset to play these stupid games right now. She opens the door to the stairwell and starts descending, and Kennedy is still right there next to her. She has the fleeting thought to throw her down them, but then remembers she's not an evil bitch anymore. Pity.

"Buffy wants you to know she's really, really, really sorry."

"What are you, her messenger?"

"Please, no," Kennedy says, scoffing. "But seeing as your head is too far up your own ass to pay attention to anyone other than you, I figured I'd try to help out where I can."

Faith rounds on her, fury in her eyes. "Are you just looking for a beat down, or is this just my lucky day?"

Kennedy doesn't back down from her threat. She just cocks and eyebrow at her, folding her hands across her chest. "Faith, just stop being an idiot. If you aren't, I'm gonna have to tell you, and I know she'll be pissed if I do. She wants to be the one to say it."

"Tell me what? What the hell are you talking about?"

Kennedy sighs, sitting down on one of the stairs. Faith just stares at her so she taps the stair next to her, "Come on, sit. Let's have a little girl on girl chat here."

"I'm fine standing, thanks."

"Faith, just fucking sit down for a second," Kennedy says, looking at her like she's the annoying one. Faith lets out a breath filled with aggravation, but sits next to her.

"What?"

"Alright, first, Buffy's really sorry and yada yada, you get all that. She was a bitch, she shouldn't have did what she did, big crying fest all over my girlfriend, and then apparently the most obvious thing in the world comes and smacks her on the back of the head."

Faith looks at her like she has three heads. "Do you make sense to you, or are you actually aware of how insane you sound? You're seriously trying my patience."

"Look," Kennedy says, sighing. "I'm not going to tell you specifics. It isn't my place. But you guys… you feel each other's emotions, right? But from what Buffy says it's only the ones that are up front and center. Well, she felt something before that she thought was coming from you… only now I guess she realizes it was her. There was another big freak out after that one."

"Just spell it out for me, shit." Faith was getting agitated, like she should know what she's talking about but she just can't think of it right now.

Kennedy shakes her head. "I can't do that. You're going to have to talk to her." She looks at her pointedly. "And Faith? You better talk to her. Trust me; you won't want to miss this one." She gets up, leaving Faith to her thoughts. Faith was going to say something back, but when she finally figures out what it was, Kennedy's gone.

Faith sighs heavily and gets up, every ounce of her pride telling her to not go back to Buffy. Yet she found her feet bringing her to her bedroom door. She stops outside, trying to focus on what Buffy's feeling on the other side of it so she knows what she's getting into. All she felt was pain and sadness, but seeing as that's all she's been feeling the last two days, she figures it can't get much worse. She opens the door without so much as a knock; since she knows Buffy could feel her on the other side of it anyway.

"Faith…" her name is said like it was the best name in the entire world, but sounded completely broken at the same time. Faith looks at Buffy, at the state she's in, and it just kills her inside. She was a wreck. She didn't look like she's been out of bed at all. Her hair was a mess and her eyes were puffy and red and used tissues decorated the room.

"Hey," Faith says softly. She closes the door behind her and then starts walking towards her slowly, wrapping her arms around her torso. "Kennedy said you… uh, that you had something to say…"

"I am so sorry, Faith!" Buffy bursts out, and suddenly the tears are flowing again. She sobs as she continues, though Faith is having a hard time making out the words through the tears. "I-I was horrible to you and I was stupid, a-and I know you have no right to forgive me for being such an idiot, b-but I need you, I need you Faith a-and I can't let you go without letting you know that, without letting you know t-that I… I…" she starts crying harder, not being able to control it.

Faith just watches her, feeling the familiar squeeze on her heart. She can't just sit there and watch Buffy be in pain. She makes her way over to her, sitting on the bed she strokes her hair softly. "B… hey, Buffy… come on, don't cry…" But that just makes Buffy cry harder, leaning against her and burying her face in her neck. Faith purses her lips, trying to not feel her heart break as she wraps her arms around her, pulling her close. "Shh…" she whispers softly as she rocks her a little. "Shhh baby… it's okay…"

"It's not okay!" Buffy cries out, but it's muffled in Faith's shirt. She sobs harder as she tries to talk, "I screwed everything up! I don't think and I'm selfish and I just ruin everything!" Well, Buffy was still dramatic, that didn't change. But Faith kisses her forehead, leaving the drama be.

"You didn't ruin everything," she tells her. Buffy sniffs, looking up at her. Faith sighs and wipes a tear away. "You fucked up, I'll give you that, you hurt me so fuckin' badly… but I dunno, maybe I'm the idiot." She sighs and shakes her head a little. "I mean, me the masochist, right? Can't stay away from things that hurt me…"

"I don't want to hurt you…" Buffy sniffs, touching Faith's cheek with the heat of her palm. "And I know I did, and I don't know how to fix it…"

Faith takes Buffy's hand in hers; pulling it off of her face and placing it back down. Buffy looks like she's going to break from that one simple rejection. "B…" she sighs, "Shit, I don't know how you can fix it either," Faith says, honestly. "But I ain't stupid. I know why you did what you did, even though you could've fuckin' went about the thing a whole shit load better. But getting me to hate you…" Faith laughs a bit, though she couldn't really find the funny. "I've never hated you, Buffy. Ever."

"But…" Buffy starts, looking at her with wide eyes. "The Mayor, and—"

"Fine line, right?" Faith asks softly. "Between love and hate, or whatever. I know that better than anyone."

Buffy sniffs, her throat tightening, and Faith watches a single tear roll down her cheek. "I wish I knew…" she breathes out, her voice hitched. She puts her hand on Faith's leg and she lets her leave it there. Faith just looks down at it for a long time.

"I'm always going to love you, Buffy. No matter how bad you hurt me. I think I'm a sucker for the pain."

"Don't… don't say that," Buffy says, but Faith won't look at her. She takes Faith's head in her hands, making her look up to face her. "Please… you have to believe how sorry I am. I swear I will never do anything like that to you again. I need you, Faith… I swear, I won't ever go off and do stupid things without talking to you first. It's me and you, okay? It's always just gonna be me and you…"

Faith can feel her throat tightening from the emotion. "Always?" she asks with more vulnerability than she wishes. But that word meant so much more than it sounded, and both of them knew it.

Buffy strokes her cheek softly, saying with all the emotion and honesty that she had in her, "Always…"

TBC…