CHAPTER NINETEEN
"Hey," Buffy says softly as Faith stirs, yawning a bit as she wakes up. They had both fallen asleep together; exhausted from the emotional roller coaster they had been on for the last couple of days. Faith doesn't say anything; she just lays there as Buffy brushes the hair away from her face. "You hungry?" Buffy asks. Faith just shakes her head no.
She didn't feel hungry. She still felt sick.
Buffy watches her as she looks down before bringing the covers up around her chin. "You're still mad at me, aren't you?" Buffy asks her.
Faith just shrugs a little. "I'll be okay. Worse things have been said to me."
Buffy strokes her face softly, but Faith instinctively flinches. Buffy looks like her hearts about to break from that one movement. "Faith…" she says softly, looking at her, her expression filled with pain. "Just tell me how to make it better…"
Faith has a flashback to the roof, the Council, the argument. She pulls the covers around herself more. "It's cool, B. We're cool."
"No, we're not. You can't even handle me touching you…" Buffy says, then voices what Faith is feeling. "You're afraid of me," then she pauses, realization setting on her face. Faith furrows her brow as she watches her. "I…" Buffy starts. "I just had to dig for that…" Her eyes are wide. Shocked. It makes Faith sit up.
"What?"
"It worked," Buffy says softly, looking at her like she doesn't even know how to process that information. "I just realized… I can't feel you. Not unless I look for it…" She looks at Faith, not knowing how she's going to take that information; worried about it, almost.
That news should've made Faith feel better because it meant that Buffy did what she did for a reason. That it worked and that was just the consequence. But it didn't feel better. Maybe a little bit, but not enough. "How?" Faith asks. "I never hated you."
"Fear," Buffy says, still in her little dazed place. But she snaps out it and looks at her, her voice stronger now. "You… you said it was about fear. But it wasn't the fear of you hating me. I think it's the fear of losing you…"
"Well, great," Faith says, but she doesn't sound like she means it. "It worked then. Congratulations."
"Baby…" That makes Faith stop, looking at her. Buffy never called her baby. Buffy takes her hand in hers and says, "I need you, please don't shut me out. Let me… let me make it up to you, okay?" Faith doesn't say anything though, so she presses, "Tonight? Can you… I mean, do you want to… go out with me tonight?"
Faith blinks. "Are you askin' me on a date? Like a real one?"
"Yeah," Buffy says, smiling a little. "Yeah, I am. So… would you like to?"
Faith feels nervous all of a sudden. She looks down at the comforter, picking at it a little while she shrugs. "I dunno, I mean… I ain't ever been on one of those. Not real sure I'm the date type."
"Of course you are," Buffy says, smiling, trying to comfort her. She laces their fingers together. "You don't have to be a specific type to date, Faith. You just have to be with someone you care about…"
Faith feels herself smiling a little, despite herself. Then she makes a face, "You're not gonna make me wear a dress, are you?"
Buffy laughs. "No, trust me, I wouldn't dream of it. I like you the way you are; I don't feel the need to change you." She shrugs. "Besides, knowing us? Our party will probably end up getting crashed by some demon from hell. Rather not fight in heels. Trust me, I've done it. It's not fun."
Faith looks down at their intertwined hands for a moment. "Where are we gonna go?"
"It's a surprise."
Faith smirks, looking up at her. "You have no idea, do you?"
"None what-so-ever," Buffy says, cracking a smirk. "But I'll figure it out. I'm gonna take you out, Faith. I'm gonna show you what you mean to me tonight… alright?"
Faith nods slowly, feeling so much like a little girl all of a sudden. Buffy smiles and leans in, kissing her softly. Faith closes her eyes and that feeling of disbelief washes through her again as she realizes that even with all the bullshit, all the angst, all the fighting, all the pain… Buffy is still her girl. And maybe that might be worth all the hurt, in the end. Maybe this is just what they had to do… get through all of it to get to the good. Someone once told Faith nothing good came easy, but she never believed it. Want, Take, Have. But they were right, she knows that now.
It still hurt. What Buffy did and said to her still hurt, but she tried to work through it. She was so nervous about going on a date that she was sure she was going to be sick. Butterflies were going fuckin' haywire in her stomach like they were pumped full of amphetamines. It took her forever to get ready, just trying to look somewhere between the realm of girly and slutty. She wanted to look nice for Buffy, not be the skank that she usually is, but she also wanted to somewhat be herself.
She opted on some nice jeans with a button down shirt that showed enough of her cleavage to get attention but not make her look easy. She tried to go a little more subtle on the makeup too, working with browns rather than hooker red. And when Buffy came to her door, dressed in nice pastels with a skirt that left just enough to the imagination, she took one look at Faith and told her she was the most beautiful woman she had ever seen in her life. Faith blushed, but Buffy didn't poke fun at her for it. She just leaned up, gave her a soft kiss, then took her hand and led her to the car that Angel let them borrow for the night.
They pulled up to a night club, and Faith raises her eyebrow. "A club? Figured you for the dinner and movie type of girl."
Buffy smirks as she parks the car. As she turns off the engine she says, "Yeah, but tonight isn't about me. And I know you love to dance."
Faith smiles; she never actually expected Buffy to think of what she would like. But her grin spreads ear to ear as she gets out of the car, "Well then let's tear the place up, girlfriend."
The music is loud, the lights are flashing and the bass is vibrating the floorboards as they step into the club. Faith's still grinning, loving the atmosphere, and she takes Buffy's hand in hers and immediately pulls her to the dance floor. It almost reminds her of that night in the Bronze; the night Buffy almost let go and became like her, only to have the world crash down around them when things got too out of hand. But before the shit of that night, there was something like this. It was the first time either of them every really felt the connection that flowed through them, that they belonged together. It was intoxicating; the feeling of both of them. Being around each other, feeling each other; connecting in that way; tonight was no different.
The world around them blurred and the people were nothing more than shadows. It was all just a focus, a straight fuckin' beeline to the only woman who ever mattered in her life. They looked into each other's eyes and completely let go of thinking, and every single person in the room seemed drawn to them, but they never paid any notice. They were both lost in a haze of each other.
When they finally took a break, Faith took Buffy's hand and led her to the bar, blowing off the line of guys who were trying to make advances on them. Buffy giggles before Faith pulls her over, putting her back to the bar as she leans against Buffy's chest. She leans down and kisses her passionately, and Buffy wraps her arms around her neck and just dives in head first without caring about who was witnessing it. It made Faith smile against her lips.
"You thirsty?"
Buffy smirks, the adrenaline pumping through her veins. "I want to kill something." She runs her hands down Faith's back, landing on her ass. She cocks an eyebrow.
"There's a graveyard not far from here," Faith tells her, the need to hunt her prey situating itself deep in her being. She fidgets a little in anticipation. Buffy grins wickedly.
"I know, that's why I chose this place. We're going to do your four favorite things tonight," she loops her fingers in her belt loops and starts backing up, taking Faith with her out the door.
"You know my four favorite things?" Faith asks with an eyebrow cocked as she follows her. Buffy just smirks.
"Do you?"
"Dancing," Faith lists off as they walk out the door and down the street to the nearest graveyard. Buffy turns around to walk beside her, sliding her hand down her arm until their holding hands. She nods at the first one, and Faith continues, "Slaying." Buffy smiles and nods again, leaning closer to her and looking up. Faith looks down at her and smirks, "You."
Buffy laughs, "I didn't include me on the list. I'm sure that would've made me sound kind of cocky."
They make their way to the gates of the cemetery, and Faith looks at her. "You bring stakes?" Buffy shakes her head with a little smile.
"Today is creative slay day."
Faith smirks. "I like those." She reaches up and grabs a hold of a tree branch, snapping one off, and then snapping it in half and handing one to her. "Wood," she says with a little wiggle of her eyebrows and Buffy giggles. "Alright… two left, huh?"
"Yup."
"Food," Faith says with a smile, Buffy nods. "And… well okay I know what my last one is but I don't think we're thinking the same thing."
"Wanna bet on that?" Buffy says with smirk, and Faith's eyebrows rise.
"You sayin' you're putting out tonight, Blondie?" she couldn't help the surprise that colored her voice. Buffy just shrugs innocently, but then says:
"Vampire."
"What?"
But Faith ducks automatically as her senses attune, and she whips around to come face to face with not the prettiest undead thing she's ever seen. "Hey, do you mind? We're in the middle of a conversation," Faith snaps at him and she steps back and focuses her senses on her surroundings.
"Vampires are always so rude," Buffy says, sighing a bit as the thing growls at them, advancing.
"Slayer…"
"Uh, excuse me? Slayers," Buffy quips back, pointing between the two of them. "As in, the Chosen Two? Or, actually, now there's about a couple Chosen hundred, so I don't know what that makes us anymore…" she feigns playing dumb, acting like she's thinking really hard about tha, and when it launches at her, since she seems to be the weakest link, she side steps him, turns around and backhands him into the ground before Faith's tree branch pierces his heart. He turns to dust before their eyes. Faith sighs.
"Too easy."
"Sorry," Buffy says, walking over to her and pressing herself against her body. Faith backs up a bit until she's pressed against a mausoleum, taking Buffy with her as she smirks. Buffy wraps her arms around Faith and looks up at her. "It's a Tuesday night; vamp activity usually isn't at its highest. I probably should have thought that through more. Besides," she sighs. "Only the newborns are going to come up to us willingly. The word that slayers are awakening everywhere has reached the underground."
"B…" Faith says, not really caring about slaying anymore, only thinking about what Buffy was implying before. "You know you don't gotta fuck me to say you're sorry, either."
Buffy laughs a little, but Faith doesn't see what's so funny about that. She looks at her like she's adorable for even thinking that and takes her hand. "Come on; let's go back to my room. I have a surprise for you…"
Faith has never been good with surprises though, so the whole way back she was pestering her to tell her. She probably sounded like a kid on Christmas, but she's never really had a surprise. Ever. In her whole life. At least not the good kind. Buffy just laughs at her though, apparently finding her eagerness endearing, and tells her she has to be patient. Faith pouts and Buffy leaves a lingering kiss on her lips with promises that it'll be worth it.
She's got a feeling it's food. If she wants to go through the four things; dancing, slaying, food, and sex, usually food would come after the slay, and definitely before the sex, otherwise they'd never get around to eating. Well, in the food sense, anyway.
Buffy though, was apparently thinking along different lines.
She brought Faith into her room, sat her down on her bed, and told her to close her eyes. Faith did as she was told, having the urge to peek but knowing Buffy would get pissed if she did. So she tried to be a good little slayer and do what Buffy asked. She was itching with anticipation and she fidgets a little in her seat. She's not the most patient person in the world.
But something doesn't go according to plan, obviously. Buffy apparently seemed to overlook the large flaw of her suddenly becoming nervous. "Okay…" she says softly, a little shake in her voice, after a couple minutes of silence. "You know how you can have these great ideas in your head? But then when you go to do them you realize you're too chicken to actually really do it?"
"Can I open my eyes?"
"Not yet," Buffy says. Faith feels her come over to her, and suddenly she's climbing on top of Faith slowly, straddling her. Faith can hear her heartbeat speed up, and she purses her lips together softly. "Open your eyes," Buffy says quietly.
Faith opens her eyes, sucking in a breath at the sight of Buffy completely naked on top of her. She just stares, kind of shocked still from the realization. She knew that Buffy had an intimate night planned, but maybe part of her didn't believe it. And there's still a part of her that wants to tell her that she doesn't have to. She knows she's just trying to make up for being a bitch before.
"I was going to try to mix the last two," Buffy says softly, her voice shaking from how nerve wracked she is. She holds up a can of whip cream. "But then I thought a whip cream bikini would make you laugh, and I think I'd die if that happened."
Faith tries to process that information, but all she can really think is along the lines of: "Buffy. Naked. Good." Bit prehistoric guy there, but it's the truth.
"Say something," Buffy begs quietly, becoming embarrassed rather quickly.
"Wow," is all Faith can manage at the moment. She blinks, then lets her eyes sweep down Buffy's form, her gaze lingering between her legs probably a bit longer than it should. When she looks back up, Buffy's blushing. "B… you… I mean, you're… beautiful, and this is… probably the best fuckin' night of my life… but you don't have to—"
Buffy covers Faith's mouth with her hand, making her last words come out mumbled beneath it. She puts down the can of whip cream on the bedside table before turning back to her, still keeping her hand there.
"Okay," she says, taking a deep breath. "I'm going to say something, and… you can't interrupt me, okay? Promise."
Faith nods mutely under her hand and when Buffy takes it away so she can speak she says, "Alright, I promise."
"Okay," Buffy says again, and she's clearly nervous. She bites her tongue softly before taking another deep breath. "You remember when we were talking about dominant emotions, how we could feel those? But then there were underlying ones too, ones that were always there, that we could never feel from each other?" Faith nods, and Buffy purses her lips together. She starts picking at Faith's tank top self consciously. "Well, I felt something from you, at least I thought I did, but I guess I really didn't. That I couldn't. So then I realized that I was feeling it, and it freaked me out a bit, or, okay, a lot, at first… but then I thought about it and it made me happy, so I think you should know what it is, that I should tell you what it is."
Buffy looks up at her, catching her gaze. Faith just looks at her confused, not fitting the pieces of the puzzle together on her own.
Buffy takes another breath, and Faith can hear her heartbeat start going a million miles an hour. Buffy's trying to calm herself down, she can see it, and she wets her dry lips before she tells her quickly, "I'm in love with you, Faith."
Faith's eyes go wide and she just stares at her. She's pretty sure her brain just halted to a stop.
"That's what I felt," Buffy says, in a bit of a rush. "I felt love, remember? But I couldn't feel love from you. That was mine; my emotion, my feeling. And I thought it was too fast so it had to be you, but it wasn't, and I'm… I'm in love with you."
Faith just continues to stare at her.
"So, I mean, this? This isn't about an apology; this isn't about trying to fix things. This is just about that; that I love you and you love me, and since we fixed the connection I think we should… show that we love each other, right?" She looks at Faith like she needs her to say something, but Faith still can't talk. "Right??" she asks, a bit more desperately this time, her nerves taking over.
"You… love me," Faith says slowly, trying to wrap her head around that one. It sounded kind of absurd.
"Yes," Buffy says, looking at her strongly, trying to stress the point.
"…Are you sure?" Faith asks and Buffy slaps her arm… hard. "OW!"She rubs the offended area.
"Faith, don't do the self pity thing, don't do the 'I'm not worth being loved thing', or whatever you're about to do. Please. Just…" she touches her face softly, all this emotion pouring from her ever word, "Just tell me that you love me. Just kiss me. Just make this moment perfect. Please…"
Faith looks into her eyes, still not believing that this is really happening, but she says softly, "I love you, Buffy Summers." A smile breaks out on Buffy's face and it makes Faith smile too before she pulls her in for a kiss.
As Buffy gently coaxes Faith to lie back on the bed, Faith can't help but think that this had to be just one really long dream, or one large elaborate fantasy. But as Buffy starts to take off her clothes, kissing every inch of her body, she realizes that, hell, even if this is a dream, she hopes she never wakes up from it.
TBC…