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(sorry this chapter's shorter than the last one, but i had to get it out soon, else I think Naomi might have come to eat me... :p)
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As promised, on time!
Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT! (nor do I own the 'Tardis' off Doctor Who.) -Life's so unfair...
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What happened last chapter:
I was at the house now, my father was standing by the front door waiting for me. His eyes anxious, filled; like Alice's with concern.
"Lucie," he called, as I walked up to him. "Lucie, you ok honey? Someone just told me you fainted yesterday! You've got some explaining to do missy!"
I couldn't reply, I just ran past him, tripped up the stairs and into my room.
I wasn't in the mood for explaining.
I wasn't in the mood for anything at all.
Edward's laughter continued to echo in my ears, sending me over the edge.
How much more of this, could I stand?
The Inspirational Snow
Distantly, I realised it must be morning. Birds were singing outside my window, I could feel the heat of the sun, red against my eyelids. I was not comfortable, nor uncomfortable, I felt nothing. All was pointless.
Yet, nevertheless, I still stood up. Let the water flow down me in the shower. Grabbed a pair of clean clothes, not bothering to see what they were. Why? Because nothing mattered. I remembered the incident with my father last night, and let out a sigh, the first noise I'd made all morning.
Despite everything, as I walked down the stairs, I couldn't help the familiar feeling that washed over me, for being so rude to my caring father. Guilt.
It was still early, so I made him an extra special breakfast before eating my own. I still felt weak though, so I knew if he confronted me for long enough I might break, I couldn't let that happen front of him. I grabbed a pen off the table, and wrote a note next to his fried eggs on toast, hoping to cheer him up a bit.
I'm sorry dad, last night I was really upset, I've just had a rough day. But I'm ok, I promise, I think I was just a little shaken with what happened, please don't take it to heart. I don't want to talk about it. I love you see you later, Lucie xxx
It was all I could manage, I called his name; so his breakfast wouldn't go cold and dashed outside.
It was raining, but surprisingly, as the rain heavily poured down me, I found it was oddly comforting. The rain, so free, so unpredictable, so pure. All the things I was not. I was still standing there, my head facing the sky, before I heard my father's voice, and dashed into the car, quickly escaping from his questions.
Whilst I was driving, I remembered something, that almost made me crash with shock, the previous days events swirled in my mind.
Alice's vision.
She had seen me: hurt, no doubt, why else would she be looking at my face? Checking for signs of damage. What else could have caused the concern I had seen in her tawny eyes, why else would she have pulled me out the car? Yes, I knew Alice had seen the future; involving me, getting harmed, I didn't take a genius to work out that much.
But why had she been wrong? Why had I remained unharmed and whole, why was I not hurt? I tried replaying the scene before in my head, ignoring the pain that twisted inside me as I thought of Edward. What else could have happened? I suppose, I could've been caught, but what difference would that make, aside from my immense mortification. I distantly remembered Bella's sentence; "She's a blonde I guess, makes sense." I knew what she meant by this, Edward preferred brunettes, but I couldn't help thinking that Bella wasn't referring to my hair colour.
I trudged up to the school and saw my reflection, surprised I could still look so normal when inside I was being hurt repeatedly, stabbed each time I thought about Edward, only leaving a hollow sensation. My blonde hair, a light gold, looked neat and brushed, my clothes were simple, but my eyes, they gave everything away.
They were greener than usual, I noticed, with black rings rimming them, proving my lack of sleep, along with the dark shadows under my eyes, too many signs, giving me away. My skin was still white, pallid; not beautiful like the Cullen's, just pale, uninteresting I looked unhealthy, the Cullens looked the opposite.
I was too busy thinking, mulling over my shameful apperance to notice where I was walking.
I stepped into a puddle, I felt my socks suck up the muddy water. My shoes were now a muddy brown colour, and intresting colour seeing as they used to be a faded white. I just sighed, and looked down at my two annoying feet, my eyelashes brushing the tops of my cheeks as I did so.
"Lucie?" It was Alice, I knew immediately, I turned to face her.
"Yeah Alice?" What was wrong, had she had a vision? I searched her bright golden eyes, so different from her normal tawny-she must have hunted. But, to my surprise, she was smiling, and no worry lay un-hidden in the two suns acting as her eyes.
Then, she looked down at my feet, and gasped in mock horror.
"Lucie, your shoes! They're ruined!" she exclaimed, looking at me with immense sadness, as if someone had just died.
I suppressed a laugh.
"That's ok Alice, they were nothing special." I said, making to walk away towards the front doors. But Alice stopped me, with one quick, lithe bound, she was blocking my way.
"Lucie, you cannot go to school in those shoes!" she said. At this, my chuckle just slipped out, ah dear me , Alice really was quite funny.
But she was serious. She started dragging me, back towards the car, which was a bright yellow Porsche, and flipped open the boot. I stared in wonder inside, the car looked so small, so how come the boot was massive! Maybe… it was like the Tardis?
Alice started rummaging around, with me still staring, well gaping would be a better word, at the car, I don't know why I was so surprised, after all, I already knew Alice had it, but Bella's memories simply did not do justice, to its sheer size.
Alice let out a little squeak of delight and turned to face me.
"Here!" she trilled, pushing a blue box into my startled hands. "It's just a little present from me and Jazz, open it then!" I opened it, and found a pair of pale blue shoes, that looked very expensive. To be perfectly honest, I didn't care whatsoever about what was on my feet (I would have happily lived with my now, wet shoes) but, I knew Alice, and I did not disappoint.
"Alice, you shouldn't have! These are lovely! How did you know I would need shoes!" I exclaimed, knowing the answer.
Alice's acting skills were far better than my own.
"I didn't, me and Jazz were shopping, I saw these, and just thought of you!" she said, beaming at her success. "I just guessed your shoe size though, we can change them if they don't fit." she said, the worry returning into the last sentence, I smiled at Alice, her voice implied that the world might implode if a pair of small blue shoes didn't fit.
I sat down on the boot, slipped off my beloved old, wet shoes, and put on the pair of new ones. They were startlingly comfy.
"Alice," I crooned, actually quite pleased, not because of the shoes, but out of Alice's kindness. Who'd of thought, pixies were shoe experts? "These are perfect…"
I empathised the last word, happy that Alice seemed so pleased, she beamed once more and pulled me up towards the school. Once we were inside, Alice gave me a quick hug, then darted off to find Jasper. Leaving me, alone.
I walked towards a familiar group of girls. My heart sank, when I realised Angela wasn't with them. Too late to turn back now…
Lauren saw me, her face lit up in malice and she stopped talking to a Jessica-look-alike, and turned to address me.
"Well, if it isn't Miss pathetic!" she said, the shrieking giggles erupting behind her.
"Excuse me?" I said coldly, I didn't want to deal with this today, not again.
"You heard me, pathetic, I mean c'mon fainting, please? Oh help me, save me, I've fainted, help me!" she mimicked my voice, I wanted to run, why did everyone seem to hate me, I heard more jeering, more laughter. How much more torment did they intend to give me, could they not see how much I was already hurting, how I was slowly getting torn. The reason why I couldn't reply was simply because: Lauren was right, I was pathetic.
They were advancing around me now, in a pincer like movement, all of their faces jeering, Lauren's turned up in a delighted snarl.
"Just because you want attention, you ugly, pathetic little-" but she was interrupted, mid sentence by a sound that made every thing else seem hideous.
"What?" Said the cool melodic voice behind my shoulder, destroying all else in its path. Stopping my heart.
Lauren's face snapped up, as she stared at Edward Cullen, her expression torn between longing and fear. She spluttered for a few seconds, but then gave up. The giggling behind her had now ceased, all was silent.
"That's what I thought." Said Edward, I turned to face him, in spite of myself, who could resist that voice; smooth as velvet, soft as silk, musical, perfect…
"Lauren, in future I would advise looking in the mirror, long before you consider others as ugly." Stated Edward, Lauren's face turned a shade of burgundy, he carried on. "Lucie, do you want to walk to Trigonometry with me?" I just nodded, his voice, so seamless, had I miss-heard? Was he actually offering to walk with me?
We started walking, but not before I saw Lauren snarl at me. Ok, there was no denying that she hated me now.
"Thank you." I breathed, it was the first word I'd spoken, he was looking straight ahead when he replied.
"No problem, I'm sorry, erm-" He trailed off, turning to face me.
And once again, I was lost.
His eyes, a brilliant gold, were brighter then I'd ever seen them; they illuminated his whole face, empathising his angular cheek bones, the smoothness of his skin, the colour of his rain flecked hair. I couldn't help but stare, I was doing all I could not to gawp, or for that matter, to drool. OK, admittidly i would never drool over Edward, I might be many things, but I wasn't some sort of dog.
"Your sorry?" I asked, confused.
"Yeah, well, you see, I don't think Lauren's going to like you anymore…" He said, innocently, waiting for my reply.
"You think she liked me to begin with?" I asked, smiling shyly. We walked round a corner, how he managed to walk and still stare at me baffled me. But, ah yeah, I forgot, vampire senses. Darn they seem to be useful!
"Good point." He said thoughtfully, "Do you mind telling me why she was about to name you a female dog?" He asked, raising one eyebrow, a smile tugging at the corners of his perfect lips.
"Hmm," I thought for a second, it was hard talking with him, no, not hard; it was as easy, as essential as breathing. It was just so damn easy to get distracted, lost. "It was probably because Mike Newton went with me in basket ball," his face changed minimally, was it annoyance that had just passed across his face? "but then again, it could have been due to jealously, I mean I was saved by you." He looked back at me again, smiling.
"Yes, I agree with the jealously bit, but not because of me saving you…" He said, I wanted to reply, but we had just reached the classroom. "Ladies first." He gestured, with a sweep of his arm.
I walked into the room, Mr Varner was writing out equations sluggishly, and I walked to the back of the class taking my usual seat, Edward following closely behind me. I mentally shouted at my heart to shut up. It was beating unnaturally fast. As I as down, I began the usual routine of skimming through the questions, feeling Edward's gaze on me as I worked.
"Finished?" he asked politely, just above a whisper, as I wrote the 25th answer in my book.
"But of course." I said, smiling at him. Then I remembered, Edward's anger, me lying to him, him laughing. I couldn't stop my face falling, the hole in my stomach opened again, I was doing all I could not to cry.
And of course, being Edward, the amazing vampire, noticed all of this, and his face changed instantly, portraying worry, deep within golden eyes. I tried to smile but failed, instead hiding behind my blonde hair.
"Lucie?" he asked, his voice apprehensive, but still mingled slightly with the faintest amount of irritation; I knew he wanted to read my mind. "What's wrong?" I looked up, and the moment I saw hurt in in his face, I confessed instantly, desperate to make him happy.
"I-I thought, you, h-hated me.." I said, stuttering slightly, scared of his reaction, would he storm out like yesterday, claiming I was lying… But he didn't, he sat there calmly and said, with so much dignity, there was no denying if it was true or false.
"I do not hate you, Luciana." He said, and of course I believed him.
"Lucie." I corrected him weakly.
"Lucie, I'm sorry- I never meant to snap like that yesterday, I just had a lot on my mind." curiosity gripped me. What was on his mind? What had happened yesterday? What had I missed?
"Edward, I'm so sorry." I said, I had to confess, to prove my sadness, I felt so rotten with him apologising, when it was me who was lying. Guilt plagued me once more.
"Sorry? For what?" He said, though lower this time, are conversation had risen slightly and we were getting stared at by a few people. Thankfully, Lauren was evidently too thick to be in this group.
I had to tell him the truth, after all he had, I could only hope he didn't think to much of my reply, it was crucial I didn't give too much away. But I had to be truthful, lies had only caused despair, the truth couldn't be any worse. Or could it? I whispered to him, so quietly no-one else would hear. Praying that he wouldn't understand, that he wouldn't know.
"Yes, I'm sorry Edward, sorry about lying to you. If you want to know the truth here it is. I was afraid Edward, afraid I was easy to read." It was the only way I could portray the truth, I looked down at my work, my hair falling in front of my face, obscuring my vision of him, but not before I saw his expression, switch a dozen times.
From shock; to suspicion; to worry; to recognition; to appreciation. I didn't see the rest, terrified that anger would flare out at me, proving my insignificance. But Edward didn't reply, instead he lightly brushed back a waterfall of blonde hair, brushing my skin with his miracle cool touch. Making a blush rise to the pale surface.
"Thank you." He whispered, quoting my earlier statement, looking at my eyes, before saying, "You shouldn't have had to apologise Lucie, It was I who was irrational, you only did what was best."
"But I lied…" I whispered, where was the anger? Was it growing? Mounting each time my timid voice spoke, ready to explode out of him, ready to stop my deceitful tongue.
"And I shouldn't have asked, it was none of my business." He stated. Mr Varner came over then, and I pretended to check question 25, even though I knew the answer was correct. He stooped over my work, gave a short curt nod, didn't bother on checking Edward's and walked back to the board, writing some additional questions down. I heard a groan pass round the class, at the prospect of more work. Honestly, It really was easy.
I finished the next set quickly and turned, only to find once more, Edward staring at me.
"What?" I whispered. Confused by his expression; he looked as if he was deciding something.
"Lucie, do realise that your eyes, are different…" He said, I knew what he must have meant, yes they were an ugly shade of Hazel, ever changing from green to brown, never making their mind up on which colour to be. He didn't like my eyes. But who did? Certainly not myself.
"Yes." I said, again, my over sensitive emotions accessed far too easily through my 'different' eyes, showing my hurt at being classified as different. I always knew I was a freak.
Edward understood instantly, and hastened to reply.
"No, not like that, their lovely," Had he just said my eyes were lovely? "I mean, did you realise they change from green to brown sometimes?" Come to think of it, he was right, had I not seen my eyes this morning, green, from my remorse and anger? I knew they were not green now, the moment I was happy, they would turn, more hazel, more brown. I'd never thought about it before, how had he noticed it?
"Like yours then." The words slipped out. I didn't even realise I'd said them out loud, until a dark look passed across his face. Why was I so stupid. His eyes changed colour from him drinking blood, from him being a vampire.
"Yes, like mine." He said, trying to cover the dark side to his words, the self loathing that being a vampire made you feel. I was so tactless sometimes. I knew the bell was going to ring soon, that was good, I needed to get away, before anymore of my thought were revealed to him. My eyes, gave too much away.
"Edward, thank you for earlier, with Lauren." I said, truly grateful, desperate to leave on a happy note.
"Like I said; no problem." He said, smiling at me, making him look beautiful, yet the smile did not reach his golden eyes, they remained remote. What had I done? I tried to smile back, but I knew mine was just as ineffective, the bell went, the sound was distant to me.
We both walked out the class room, silently and walked off, not bothering to say goodbye. I sighed to my self when I was sure he couldn't hear. The rest of the day was going to pass. I told myself, on one hand: Edward didn't hate me, that had to be an improvement. But on the other, he knew more about me, too much, he was getting closer to the truth, that I could never let him see.
So. Now I just have a day at school to get through.
I saw Angela then and we walked to our next class, I couldn't concentrate at all, I worked, I answered questions, I smiled at people. But I didn't know how I was doing it. Making words come out of your mouth and nodding your head at regular intervals isn't the same as talking and listening, but it was as close as I could get. Before I knew it was possible, it was already lunch, and , for the first time since I'd left Trig that morning, I actually awoke.
The cafeteria was the same as ever. People talking, eating and- in Jessica's and Lauren's case, no doubt furiously gossiping.
I walked over to mine and Angela's usual spot sat down. Angela had gone to do some extra revision in the library for her calculus test, I didn't exactly struggle with the subject, so merely proceed to the cafeteria. Alone and simply reviewed the day, it had not been that bad, for one thing I did have a new pair of comfy shoes, so that made me happy.
I looked outside the window and my heart felt lifted, just a tiny amount. Beautiful snow was falling delicately down, lifting in quick, lithe ribbons, so pure and clean, I knew it would not settle, the rain before had proved that much, but still it was lovely. I would enjoy it while it lasted. I remembered a memory from my childhood of when I was six, and for the first time in two horrid miserable years, the memory of my mother made me smile.
I was only six, watching the snow with my mother in the garden, the first time I'd ever seen it. My mother was singing, her musical voice comforting and loving, filling me with delight as I dashed in the snow, hiding amongst the white flecked bushes. The beautiful white, blanketing our once green lawn.
Snow is falling, A beautiful sight,
It plays with the light.
Snow is falling, It blinds all who see,
It hides you from me.
Our laughter rose together as we sung together, perfectly in sync.
"Exquisite, isn't it?" A voice snapped me out of my reverie, I didn't even have time to recognise the voice, I turned to face them.
It was Alice, snow still white in her pixie hair, beaming at me. I looked at the Cullen's table, only Edward and Bella were there, the rest I presumed, where outside, enjoying the snow. But of course, Bella didn't like the wet or the cold, hmm…the wet I could understand, even though I held no such objection, and but the cold? She was with a vampire… One hell of a perfect vampire. But I stopped thinking about them, and brought my concentration back to reality, why had Alice came over to talk to me?
"Beautiful." I agreed, still wondering what she was about to do.
"Lucie…?" she trilled, and I could here the excitement mounting in her voice. I decided, right there and then, what ever she asked, I would do. She simply was the kindest pixie like vampire I'd ever met. Ok, well, yeah, the only pixie like vampire I'd ever met… "Lucie," she continued, practically bobbing up and down. Abruptly, I felt silly sitting and stood up. "Can we go shopping this weekend please!" she blurted out.
Why, oh why did I mentally promise?
"Yeah, of course Alice, It'll be great!" I said, feigning enthusiasm. At this Alice's whole face lit up, she continued to chatter quickly.
"Yay! Thanks, It's going to be great I can tell- I have a feeling, it's going to be perfect!" She said, slipping up slightly again, honestly, how did people not notice Alice's slip ups, they always fell out of her mouth when she got excited. I just smiled as she danced off back towards the snow, having seen an excited looking Jasper at the window. "Bye Lucie!" she trilled, dancing off, despite the dreaded thought of shopping with Alice, (here, I really did feel immense sympathy, for Bella, acting as a dress up doll,) I couldn't help smiling at her happiness.
All too soon, lunch was over.
I picked up my bag, swung it onto my shoulder and progressed towards History, where I dimly thought how talkative Eric was going to be. When I heard my name being called. I turned and saw the last person I would have suspected to see.
Isabella Swan.
"Lucie," She said, and her voice was thick with emotion, I saw a single tear running down her cheek. "Lucie, I need to talk to you."
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