Why, hello?
I'm updating mega fast for all the BRILLIANT reviewers out there, I'm starting to think you all must be vampires, your reviews are perfect! I got so many long ones! It made me SO happy! :P So yeah, thanks A LOT! You're all the reason, why this has been updated so quickly! And it's 7462 words… so there, longest yet!
We are at 147 reviews… I am speechless… That's AMAZING! So yup… we've reached triple figures… our next mission is quadruple ones, it's a big target, so I'll have to update a lot!
But thanks all of you, reviews are the only thing that keeps me going, this chapter is dedicated especially to the people who review frequently and make me smile so much!
Enough drivel from me: here you go!
Disclaimer: Bwak! Bwak! Bwak! *the chicken, in other words, myself, cannot own Twilight due to copy right.* Life isn't fair… (do chickens even say 'bwak'?) It'll remain a mystery…
What happened last chapter:
And Bella didn't love him the same way. I looked at him once more, staring into the perfect face, unable to look into his eyes, too scared that they would mirror the same disgust shown previously. I whispered my reply, hoping he wouldn't catch it, as it slipped from my lips, when I took a last fleeting look at his face.
"I know so much more than you think."
And once again. I ran, wishing that the pain would stop.
And yet I knew it never would.
Another Despised Interruption.
I was finally getting sick of it all.
I'd only just woken up, it was still too dark outside to tell the time. I was pretty sure my clock was bust, unless it really was 11:00am, in which case, there was an eclipse I was unaware of. I stared stubbornly a the device for a few more moments before giving up. It appeared I hadn't been granted the power of making clocks magically work overnight . Another thing to add to my: things-I-still-can't-do-list.
I rolled onto my side again, turned the pillow over to the cool side and pressed my head into it. Vaguely I realised I was probably insomniac, I couldn't get to sleep, I found it very hard to even rest and of course there was a problem on my mind. Even though the word problem didn't cover it. There were three things mainly, each terrible in their own unique way.
Edward hated me.
The Cullens knew too much about me.
And the most dawning prospect of all, still loomed over me, like a suffocating dark cape.
I had to go shopping with Alice (cue the Horror music.)
I sat up. Sleeping was evidently impossible. Sluggishly I walked towards the bathroom, and I was glad for not the first time that it was an en suite, I don't think I could cope with sharing a bathroom with my father. I rarely spent much time in there. My father however, he was a different matter. It's not true what they say, men spend one heck of a lot of time in the bathroom, I should be one to know.
I looked into the mirror and scrutinised my appearance. Even though I had just woken up, I looked the same as the night before. The swelling on my cheek had faded, now merely a thin red line as apposed to a gash. My hair fell loosely, it looked silver at this hour, with only a ribbon of light coming through the bathroom blinds. My eyes were back to their normal stubborn hazel, though green was the dominant colour at the moment. And they were, as ever, dilated, giving the impression of darkness. I still hadn't changed out of my blood stained clothes and abruptly I felt disgusted. Gingerly lifting up my shirt, I examined the damage caused last night.
I had a purpling bruise on my side, accompanied by a small, but deep, gash. I winced slightly at the sight of it, though it did not hurt. Human. My mind thought, weak and pathetic. I needed a shower, and fast. Loosing the rest of my clothes, I hopped in, hoping that I could not only wash away the dried blood, but also my feelings.
I hated that it was a Saturday, that meant free time.
One more thing to know about me: I hate having free time. Well, more correctly, I hate having time to think.
That's why a shower probably wasn't the best thing to do. As thinking is mainly what happens, that along with getting clean. As the hot water flowed down me, I couldn't help remembering the previous night's events. After Edward had talked to me about ignorance, my anger had flared. He knew nothing about ignorance. He didn't see thousands of people's lives, and then have them trapped in his head for ever, always burning at the back of his mind. No. That was just freaky me.
But the truth of the matter was, after that I had felt guilt ridden once more. I rushed back home, my father thankfully, had fallen asleep by the television. I only hoped he hadn't worried about me. I draped a blanket over him and had went to bed. But then there was the problem of sleep.
Last night I'd had countless nightmares. Each one after the other. Each one terrible. Though I couldn't remember them properly; I was glad though, I didn't want to remember what I'd dreamt. Now I was worried with what I'd said though.
I had told the Cullens everything, with a few exceptions regarding whose mind I actually saw. Now I was worried about it. They had taken the news too lightly. I knew Carlisle had wanted to ask more questions, but I supposed they were scared for my health. After all I was a human (even though I hated the word, it was true) and because of this they expected me to be overwhelmed, any normal person would.
Since when have you been normal? The unwanted thought echoed in my head as the water continued to fall around me, I grabbed some apple scented shampoo and rubbed it into my hair, I found sticks and bark in it, I sighed , even though I couldn't care less.
But now I didn't feel sad, like I'd done so last night. I'd been distraught, hurt by Edward's remarks, scared for him, worried about him. Now I felt two emotions, both irrational, but only one was allowed.
Anger.
He'd nearly killed me last night, and did he even apologise? No. Did he try to make amends? No. Did he try to help? No. Does he even regret it? I was fairly positive the answer would be like the rest.
So my rage at him was not completely irrational. I thought, fuming silently as I wrapped a towel around myself, now free of blood. I did feel better I admitted to myself, though the heat against my skin had awoken a strange fire within me. I needed to see Edward. I hated the way I acted to weakly against him. The way he had complete power over me, how I lost all sense of anger the moment his golden gaze hit me, the way they drew me into to their bottomless depths… No. I was Angry. I couldn't prevent myself from being weak physically, that was inevitable, but my mind remained intact. Edward could not reach me there, that was one advantage I would put to good use.
I got dressed swiftly, and was surprised when I saw the light out side. I didn't realise I'd been in the shower for that long. The clothes I threw on were simple enough, the less gaudy of all Alice had got me, I tried to cover up as much of my skin as possible, I wasn't because I felt cold; that was something rarely felt. No, It was because in covering up I felt safer, more secure, less weak. I hated feeling weak. I had to stop feeling it. It was an emotion I couldn't afford to feel.
By the time I was fully dressed however, I was faced with a problem. I was going to go shopping with Alice this weekend, though the timing was insure. I wanted to see Edward though. I wanted to treat him the way he'd treated me. Like a piece of unworthy dirt. What was wrong with my mind today?
As soon as I thought about this though, I saw a bright yellow Porsche drive up and a small dark haired pixie jumped out.
"Speak of the devil." I murmured under my breath.
"You mean speak of the pixie!" she trilled, I hadn't realised she could hear so well. Next moment she was in my room. Gosh, they're fast. Despite my previous anger I felt so relieved to see Alice. She alone proved that last night wasn't all a dream. A dream that I was both terrified of, but also one that I never wanted to end. Because the truth was, with the Cullens, I felt more at home than ever. I didn't feel so isolated so alone. But I stopped my thoughts there. Getting attached only meant it was harder to move away…
The past just wouldn't fade.
"Lucie, do you mind telling me why I just had a vision involving you arguing with Edward?" Asked Alice curiously, a mischievous look in her golden eyes, she'd evidently hunted since I'd last seen her. I felt ashamed instantly, but the look on Alice's face was odd, it was almost as if she approved of that happening.
"I'm sorry Alice, I guess I'm just a little stressed." I grimaced, sinking to the bed. Stressed didn't cover it.
"Lucie, when are you going to stop apologising!?" Alice exclaimed in exasperation, her eyes and tone disapproving "None of this is your fault. Did he even apologise?" I just shook my head. She was pacing now, her small face scrunched up, trying to see the future no doubt. Her arms were waving dramatically every time she spoke. To be honest, in my opinion, Alice was acting a little bit crazy… "In fact, Edward deserves what-" but she stopped talking abruptly, and instantly I was suspicious.
"Alice…" I said warily, "What exactly did you see me doing?" She was biting her lip now, with the air of giving too much away. "Alice. Tell me." I demanded, staring obstinately at her, she looked slightly sheepish, unwilling to tell me what she'd seen.
"Lucie, it was nothing, just something-and anyway, the future's not set in stone so-" her sentence was mumbled in her trilling voice, it rose an octave as she got more nervous. I sighed. I didn't feel like badgering her. Instead I simply said to her in a voice that I supposed could be interpreted as calm.
"Just take me there." She looked relieved at getting let off the subject I wrote a quick to note to my father explaining where I was-shopping with friends- and put it on my bed. I knew he would not mind me gone, he loved me, but hated the fact that I never seemed to fit in. If it made him happy to think I was happy then so be it, I only wanted his suffering to end. Mine I knew; was beyond hope.
"Lets go!" Alice said, why did she sound so excited?
She took my hand, smiled and with one lithe leap, we jumped out the window.
***
We arrived at the Cullen's house. Or mansion, to describe it more aptly. Despite everything I felt right now I could not deny the house's evident beauty, it mirrored the perfection of those who lived within it.
As I walked in, I began to feel nervous, surely they all hated me, after all, I was just another human.
Carlisle along with Rosalie and Emmett walked towards us. I had to admit, it was scary how they moved so fast, I hadn't even set foot in there house yet. They all stood a little away from me. I knew my blood was tempting them, but Alice stayed by me. She, it seemed, had good control. I looked at them curiously, Carlisle's face annoyed me the most. The way he studied me was too serious; too sentimental. I was getting sick of the sympathy that inevitably found me. Why couldn't people just believe I was fine, and get over that. Hadn't I already told them I couldn't care less about them being vampires. I was sure of this statement. I didn't mind, or care for that matter. My thoughts were broken off however, as I saw the other's faces more closely.
Rosalie looked at me up and down with a scowl on her prefect face.
"Honestly, what is it with Edward and humans…"
"Rosalie…" Carlisle interrupted in a strained voice.
Emmett chortled behind her, and gave me the same assessment before also commenting in a voice slightly less harsh and more amused then anything else.
"I know, what is it with the guy and liking girls that have their last named after birds?"
"I don't really think he likes me Emmett." I said, I tired to sound cold and indifferent, but I couldn't help but laugh at what he said. Okay, Rosalie obviously didn't like me, but Emmett was funny, that I could live with.
Rosalie didn't know me well.
"How's that funny?" But she wasn't addressing Emmett, instead she was looking at me, her glare could not be mistaken as anything but dislike. Her eyes were shooting daggers, it was almost a death glare. If looks could kill, I'd be pretty dead by now. She didn't change her expression.
Okay… note to self, never laugh in front of her again.
Rosalie: no sense of humour.
Before I could splutter my response however, Emmett answered and his tone still amused despite Rosalie's hostility.
"Lucie's second name's Raven, Bella's is Swan." Emmett said stating the obvious, I decided to leave then, following Alice who was rolling her eyes, amused by the scene. I was slightly surprised by Emmett's knowledge of me though, I did not like that, it was evident I had been talked about a lot last night. Great. More attention.
Rosalie's glares were quite intimidating, I remembered she had shown the same reaction to meeting Bella. But thinking about Bella made me remember. I couldn't help but think over what Emmett had said though. Bella's last name was Swan, it suited her, Swan's were beautiful creatures looked up to by the other birds, renowned for their splendour. Whereas Raven's where ugly birds, often mistaken for crows. There was the difference between me and Bella, it was even shown in our names. Beautiful or Ugly.
All Ravens normally did was fly around the tower of London.
I sighed but discarded the thought, I still hadn't mentally prepared myself by Alice's shopping trip. Which I was sure would be nothing short of torture.
"Lucie?" Alice chirped and I was glad that Carlisle had left the room, I didn't want to be interrogated by questions. Especially ones that revolved soul heartedly around myself.
"Mhmm?" I mumbled, not really in the mood to talk, she was not swayed by response though, if possible her grin was even wider. What was she hiding from me?
"We'll go shopping in a bit, you don't mind if I get ready do you?" Honestly, she was a glorious vampire, did she even need to get ready? By the look on her face, it seemed it was essential, not even that: it was as if the world depended on it.
"Yeah sure." I replied, hitching a smile onto my numb face, though I didn't feel remotely happy. Alice darted out the room and I wondered absently how long she'd take, not that I really minded. I supposed postponing the moment was better than facing it. I walked around the space I was in, surprised at the amount of light that flooded through. The walls were cream, warmer than white, it seemed an odd place for vampires live. I looked out of a wall, solidly made of glass. The scene beyond was simply breathtaking. There was no way to describe the beauty of the forest, I was enchanted by it. It held a silent ethereal beauty to it, though whether this was because I'd already seen the perfection of the meadow I was not sure. The trees swung lightly in the breeze and- but then I saw a movement, disturbing the peace.
It took me a second to realise it was a reflection.
I turned around slowly, and there stood Edward, his hair windswept. Staring at me, his eyes were a remarkable liquid gold, it was obvious he'd just hunted.
"I didn't expect you to be here." He said in a hard voice and with a stab I remembered how much he must hate me. And the fact that I was meant to be angry at him. I lifted my face up to his, he winced slightly as he saw the fading red line across my cheek, if only he knew how much pain he'd caused. I thought to myself darkly, remembering the purple bruise beneath my cotton shirt.
"Shopping." I said bluntly but just as coldly, averting my gaze from his eyes. There was a silence then, one that I couldn't break, I could still feel Edward's eyes though, they seemed to burn me. I didn't expect what he said next.
"I'm sorry Lucie." He said, though there was no emotion. I could not here anything, not pity or sympathy or concern. So I replied, in this same flat voice.
"Right." I didn't want to slip up. Because if I was to be true to myself, I wanted nothing more than to hurt him, too bad I'd punched Bella, if only he'd been slightly closer. But I forced a lid onto these emotions. Irrational. I thought to my self, they were unnecessary, I would stop. But that was until he spoke again.
"What's wrong with you Lucie?!" His voice raised in an exasperated tone. I stared up at him, furious. How dare he talk to me like that! What was wrong with me?
"Many things Edward." I told him darkly. His eyes met mine, and once again I was surprised by his gaze and features. They almost looked hurt, but I did not feel sympathy, I knew he did not regret what he did to me, in an act to avenge Bella.
"Why do you hate me?" he said in a whisper and my reply shocked even myself as it tumbled through my lips, which had been, until this moment, pursed tightly shut.
"Hmm… lets think? Oh yeah, maybe it's the fact you rammed me into a tree Edward, and nearly killed me in doing so!" He just stood there, shocked as I by my response, the anger that had just erupted out of me. I liked the feeling of releasing it, I knew it had been bottled up for too long. I felt a mingled urge to cry or kick him sharply in the ankle, in this situation, the latter was the better option, though it'd probably have a smaller effect. Eventually though, after another silence he made his reply, it did not lessen my anger though.
"Don't be melodramatic Lucie." He replied coldly, all traces of pain had gone; I knew I'd hit my mark.
"Me? Melodramatic? I merely stated what you did." I tried to turn away, I'd had enough of his talk. One moment he was grovelling for forgiveness and the next he was calling me melodramatic? Talk about mood swings. But as I turned a felt a cool hand restraining me, the touch on my shoulder made me shiver. I tried to brush it off, but my attempts were fruitless.
"Lucie…" He said, and his voice was strained, it hurt me to hear the pain in his voice, even now when he said my name it sounded beautiful. No! I didn't care. So what if I'd acted irrationally? At least I'd acted, I wasn't going to accept things so lightly. I wasn't going to get pushed round any more.
"Get off me Edward." I said, well aware of how icy my voice sounded. Edward's position didn't change, he was still stiff, nor did his hand leave my shoulder. I hated myself for admiring his strength.
"Not until you understand."
"I said get OFF!" I yelled at him. In an instant I swivelled round to face him, the fury boiling inside me. I punched his arm as hard as I could.
I was furious when it had no effect. All that happened was that my hand hurt, and badly. I bit my lip slightly not wanting to cry out. That would only make me look weaker. But ow, that hurt. I saw Edward watching me as I stared stubbornly at it, I pretended it didn't hurt and glared back at him.
"Lucie," he said, and his voice was close to a growl now, his hands were balled into fists, I could see the tendons throbbing beneath them. He spoke again through gritted teeth. "I don't. Want. To. Hurt. You." He was looking at me with great intensity, I just scoffed my reply. Dimly I knew how stupid I looked, arguing with him. I had no idea what had come over me, I felt sick at being so cruel and mean. What was I doing? But still, I felt anger incinerate me.
"Oh please Edward, save that for someone who hasn't already been hurt!"
"Lucie, I could…kill you."
"Yeah, I noticed thanks!" I shouted at him sarcastically, fighting down the over emotion that crossed my mind every time our eyes met. "Pick on someone your own size Edward." I hissed at him. I knew my anger was fading and it scared me, I just hoped it would last, the other feeling I simply couldn't comprehend with…
"Lucie, I will never hurt you again." he whispered and with that my anger faded completely leaving two emotions that were both terrible. But only one was impossible, and entirely unrequited.
"Too late Edward." I whispered, once again, not wanting to look at him. I felt his hand fall off my shoulder.
"Lucie, you can't keep blaming me." He breathed, just as quietly, his eyes cast downwards.
I just stared at him, shocked. For he had just revealed what I had been thinking-even though I knew he could not hear my mind. Did he not realise I only; have only; and would only ever: blame myself?
I knew I would crack, I couldn't take much more. Soon I would slip up, I could not let that happen. I turned to him, knowing full well which emotion I would have to choose.
"I was right Edward." I said, though my voice was no longer fuelled with anger; it lacked all emotion. It was dead. "It's easier to hate you."
And with that I turned stiffly and walked out the room, to where I knew guilt would soon consume me.
***
"Lucie!" The shrill voice hit me, I turned around slowly, no tears had fallen down my face. I felt horrid. Dead. Alice was behind the bathroom door, her high voice sounded anxious. I had ran straight here; it being the only other room I had visited in this house. I didn't want to face her just yet. I was still running over what I'd just done, how callous I'd just been. Edward had tried to apologise, and I'd just ignored him.
With a throb I remembered my hand. I looked down at it absently, it alone should bring tears to my eyes, but I couldn't cry. I couldn't feel anything apart from guilt. I'd hit him. Though he wouldn't be in pain, I felt mean that I'd done that, anyone would be hurt; pain or no pain. I was one to know from experience.
"Lucie? Are you ok…" Alice's shrill voice had turned worried now, I sighed and shook my head slightly, trying to clear my mind. I walked over to the door briskly, and threw it open, smiling as I saw Alice. I hoped my acting skills were good.
"Yeah, I'm fine Alice." I said casually, and I was relieved to see her face loose some of the previous worry. I really was sick of sympathy by now. Alice, I noticed, had changed, she was now wearing a sparkly top which clung to her tiny figure. I was skinny myself, but compared to Alice I was not, she was thin in the extreme. Though she did not look unwell, it balanced out her pixie-like features. Alice beamed at my mood.
"Glad you told him what you did, I was getting sick of him not apologising!" she said, I was surprised, was this what she'd seen? I just nodded, not wanting to talk unless I was certain I wouldn't stutter, my head ached a bit, I put it down to still being on recovery mode. Alice grabbed my hand and started to walk towards the front doors, I winced though, despite myself, my hand still felt tender. She whipped round instantly, looking at me with concern.
"It's nothing Alice, I just…" I trailed off, and Alice's eyes looked down at my hand. She frowned slightly at the bruise forming around my knuckles. But when she looked up again, I saw a grin on her lips.
"Did you hit Edward?" Uh oh… I blurted out my next sentence, scared of Alice's reaction.
"Yeah Alice, I'm sorry, I'll go and apologise right now, it just slipped out I'm really sorry-"
"Lucie!" she scolded, smiling though, "Please stop saying sorry for everything, and don't worry about Edward, by the look of things, you did more damage to yourself." I grimaced, but felt immensely relieved, glad that Alice didn't hate me. She began leading me, gently now, by my uninjured hand to the kitchen. She was muttering something darkly under her breath now, I listened carefully.
"I'm glad he's learnt his lesson." I stared at her, appalled as I realised what she'd seen in my room.
"Alice! You didn't see me hitting him did you?" I asked, as the shock dawned on me.
"Yes Lucie, that's why I was glad, he deserves it with how he treated you, don't worry though, we've got shopping to put your mind off that!" Her voice was still slightly dark when mentioning Edward, but became it's usual chirpy self towards the end. I wanted to press the matter, to convince her that it was my fault. But at that moment Carlisle walked in.
Please don't ask me questions. My mind silently begged.
"Carlisle, could you just look at Lucie's hand for me?" Alice asked, I hastened to interrupt.
"No, no, it's ok really, I'm fine.." I muttered quickly. Carlisle raised an eyebrow at me.
Not another one!
Could all vampires lift one eyebrow?
"Lucie, I'm sure your fine, but all the same I'd like to look." He took my hand surprisingly gently, I did not shiver at his cold touch as I done to Edward's, dimly I wondered why, but I was too preoccupied by Carlisle's frown.
"it's nothing, barely a bruise." I rushed through the sentence, eager to get away from Carlisle. I knew he was a nice person, exceedingly nice, to fix me up, and tolerate my presence. But nonetheless, I was scared of him. Well, technically not scared of him at all, I was just scared of the questions he would ask.
"Lucie, how did you do this?" Carlisle asked gesturing my swollen hand, though his voice wasn't worried, letting me know there was no damage done, it was curiosity again that filled his melodic voice. I felt my self go red as I muttered the next words.
"I punched Edward…"
Carlisle's reaction was like Alice's, he smirked slightly before grinning revealing a set of perfect white teeth, a set that any dentist would kill for.
"I bet that shocked him, what with your mind being impenetrable." he mused, though the way he referred to me-and my 'impenetrable' mind as he phrased it- was odd, inquisitiveness was there, but that was not the only thing I heard within his voice. The other was closer to marvel. He laughed lightly and Alice joined him. "Glad you showed him a taste of his own medicine Lucie." I was again, shocked by their response, did they not like Edward?
Carlisle read my face quickly. "It's not that we don't like Edward Lucie, it's just that no-one's really been able to hit him for a long time, even when some of us want to, Emmett for one gets very frustrated." he chuckled, though I did not see any humour, the thought of Emmett hurting someone was scary, though evidently, I still looked confused as Alice carried on.
"He can read what we're going to do before we can act."
"Oh." I said, finally realising what they meant.
They both smiled at me, before Carlisle's face returned serious as he studied my posture. He looked at Alice to speak again.
"Alice, I really don't think Lucie should go shopping straight away, she's only just recovering." Again the darn sympathy. I fought back the urge to scream.
Wait one second… did he just say I couldn't go shopping?
Yes!
I felt worried though, I looked at Alice, she instantly looked crestfallen, once she saw my worried face however, she merely smiled.
"It's ok Lucie, you don't have to come if you don't want to." She said, but her tone implied that she'd be upset.
"Alice, no I do want to!" I managed to say, feigning enthusiasm, silently screaming at myself.
You've just got out of this? Why are you trying to get tortured?
Carlisle came to my rescue.
"I'm sorry Lucie, but I simply cannot let you go, you really should be resting right now." Alice just shrugged slightly, She didn't look to put out, when her name was called, she skipped from the room to answer. I recognised Jasper's calm voice, he must really not like me, I thought bitterly, if he couldn't stand in the same room.
"Thanks." I muttered to Carlisle. He smiled back at me, though I couldn't return the gesture, I knew he was going to ask me questions. But I would answer them, I told myself stubbornly, after all he'd done, he deserved some of his questions answered. I mean, he had just saved me from four hours prolonged torture. I suddenly had an image of my gravestone.
Lucie Raven, death by shopping with Alice Cullen.
I smiled slightly at the silly thought, though with the way she rammed shoes onto my feet, it was not entirely stupid. It could happen. Carlisle's voice woke me up from my silent predictions.
"Lucie, can I ask you a question?"
"Yeah, sure." I said, looking down at my feet. Noticing how stupid I looked standing when he was sitting down. He waved his hand to a chair and I sat down dubiously, scared of his questions.
"How long have you had this gift of yours?" He asked, I would answer this, no damage could happen, so quickly I explained it to him.
"Well, I'm not entirely sure, I found out about it when I was about seven. Though when it happened I didn't faint or anything, though have recently. I think the more complex a person's past is, the harder it to take in. I've seen so many people's memories since then, I've lost track. But I can still remember them, because they're part of my past now, if that makes any sense…" I'd explained a bit too much when talking, Carlisle was now staring at me, his golden eyes wide.
"It does make sense," he said quietly, "so how does this gift come to you, am I right in saying it's like Alice's only in reverse? Do they come in visions? Or can you see this whenever you want?" I sighed slightly, that was a lot more than just 'a question.' he didn't realise that I despised my gift, that I would trade anything to not have it. He picked up on my sigh and apologised quickly.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be rude, only tell me if you want to." Of course I didn't want to tell him, but there was no point in not doing so, his questions were harmless, for now.
"No, it's ok Carlisle, I suppose it is a bit like what Alice sees in reverse, except I don't just see their past, I can feel it, their every memory, emotion thought…" I trailed off, Carlisle's expression was now in utter awe.
"Go on." he said eagerly, I replied hesitantly, I was giving too much away and I was aware of that, I would have to think before I spoke.
"And yeah, I suppose they come in visions so to speak, and I can't see them when I want, I have no control." My answer to the last two were blunt, but I couldn't let him know too much. He already knew more than I wanted him to. When I said I had no control he nodded, as if he suspected this, though I was surprised he would have guessed that.
"Thank you Lucie, that means a lot." He said intensely, and I smiled genuinely, happy that I could at least be some use, even if it was just widening Carlisle's knowledge.
I heard the door bell ring, and stood up as Carlisle went to open it. I followed him along the hall.
Alice was already opening the door and the moment the door was open I let out an inaudible gasp-though I knew Carlisle heard it.
For outside, her auburn hair whipping round her pretty face: was Bella.
I was standing slightly behind Carlisle, and so she didn't see me at first, or at least, not until after she'd greeted Alice.
Then she saw me.
And her face changed from happiness to hatred.
"What's she doing here," Bella said, to no-one in particular, only staring at me. I couldn't reply, I silence had fallen over the room, Alice looked from Bella to me and back again, before she realised what the tension was about. Though she only sighed slightly, but not even that could draw Bella's eyes-a furious chocolate- from me. I looked at her then, and she gasped. I wasn't sure why though. Until I remembered the line across my cheek.
"I did that…?" she whispered, pointing at my face, I wanted to retort sarcastically, comment on the face that it was rude to point, but I didn't. Maybe Bella felt ashamed of herself for doing that to me, alright it was a slim chance, but still, even Bella was good at heart-well at least she was to all but myself.
I nodded in response. And looked at her face, thankfully it was as perfect as ever, it appeared my punch had had little effect. Although I was grateful for this, I couldn't help but feel a little bit disappointed. Could I simply not punch? So far, both times, I'd only ended up injuring myself.
"I'm sorry Bella." I whispered, out of the corner of my eye I saw Alice stare at me, I knew all to well she didn't like my continued apologies. Bella didn't reply, just averted her gaze from me to Alice.
"Where's Edward?" She asked, now completely ignoring my presence, Alice suddenly had a huge smile on her face, though why I wasn't sure?
"I'll tell you if you promise something!" she trilled happily, only one thing could make Alice that happy…
"Sure." Bella said, but Alice kept looking at her, waiting, Bella kept looking round Alice's shoulder anxious to see him, suddenly I realised Carlisle had left my side. I felt oddly vulnerable, the very feeling I'd sworn allegiance against. Alice still hadn't spoken so Bella sighed, before muttering "I promise." At this Alice's whole face lit up, I knew what was coming next, I couldn't help smiling too.
"Yay! You're coming shopping!" Alice trilled, "I'll go find Edward!" she said quickly dancing out of the room before Bella could argue.
The look on her face was hilarious. She was still staring after Alice in horror at what she'd just signed up to.
But now, Bella and I were the only ones in the room.
I felt my stomach twist.
She was the one to speak first.
"So, why are you here?" She asked, and to my surprise, her tone was actually conversational, okay, it wasn't exactly friendly, but conversational was one heck of a big step up from being slapped.
"Alice tried to torture me." I replied smoothly.
"Shopping?" she guessed raising both her eyebrows.
At least you're not the only one. My mind muttered, I approved of it.
"Yep, though not anymore."
"So how did you get out of it?" Bella asked, longing in her voice. I smiled, and to my immense surprise she returned the gesture, with a sheepish one of her own.
"Are you seriously implying that you don't like shopping with the evil pixie?!" I asked in mock astonishment. She grinned.
"Help me! She'll come back soon!" Her voice was panicky now.
"I was still injured," I replied, indicating my side Bella grimaced slightly.
"Sorry about that." She muttered.
"It's okay," I said, I hadn't actually referred to my face. I decided showing her the bruise and cut on my side wasn't the best way to distract attention from the incident.
She smiled tentatively at me then, and I felt once again ashamed for thinking so little of her, Bella was nice and kind, even to me. Then Alice came back, Edward came in swiftly behind her. Edward's eyes met my own, I only hoped my emotions wouldn't give me away. Blushing because of him in Bella's presence would not be the wisest move.
"Bella." Edward breathed, his face easing up as he looked at her, the devotion in his eyes stronger then I'd ever seen it. I did not blush, but Bella sure did. Her skin instantly flushed scarlet, this would look unattractive on most people, though on Bella it only enhanced her beauty. Her ivory skin, contrasting beautifully with the rose colour subtly forming on her cheeks. Edward stopped staring at her, aware no doubt, of my presence, and instead looked at Alice menacingly.
"Alice, that's just cruel." I knew what he was talking about, it appeared Alice just couldn't keep her thoughts quiet.
"No it's not." she trilled with dignity, unperturbed by Edward's glare. "Lucie's still on recovery mode from what you did Edward, this is how you shall repay me!" Alice smiled and gestured towards Bella who suddenly realised what Alice meant by repayment.
"Hey!" she cut in, "I'm not any sort of money Alice!" I smiled, Bella really did not want to go shopping, but I supposed her alternative was spending time with Edward. I mean, it's not exactly a hard choice, is it? Torture or glorious time with someone who loved you?
I still wasn't looking at Edward, my anger had faded long before he had entered the room, yet I knew his hadn't, I knew he still hated me. Suddenly I wanted to leave. I was off thinking then, I stood there, not really listening to the conversation. In the end Bella had to go shopping with Alice, but she got to take Edward with her. This made Alice frown slightly, but then she added a comment that made even Edward loo scared.
"Good, Edward really does need some new clothes!"
"I do not!" Edward said indignantly, he looked horrified at the prospect.
I was fully aware that I was not involved in the conversation, whether this was due to them ignoring me or otherwise I wasn't sure. But I didn't mind, on the contrary, I was glad to finally have the attention drawn from me, I hated the way it had been so sincere a few minutes before. Edward muttered something about getting something from his room and dashed upstairs. Alice suddenly looked furious.
"Alice?" Bella questioned.
"Oh no you don't!" she said, still looking murderously up the stairs, "Bella! He's trying to escape!" I grinned widely at this, it appeared I definitely was not the only one who had been tortured by shopping before. Alice vanished, running so fast up the stairs my mind couldn't catch up with her, and Emmett walked into the room, smiling as he heard the continued argument about Edward getting new clothes from upstairs. He grinned at Bella and I.
"Hey! Bella, have you heard about Lucie?" Emmett asked her.
And I was instantly afraid.
"No? What about her?" she said, though her voice was not filled with spite like it had been not but a day before.
"She has a gift!" Emmett said, smiling at me affectionately. He was probably taken aback by my expression. Which was: pure terror.
No, no no…
He continued, evidently taking my expression as a joke.
"Yeah, and it's really cool, bit like Alice's, she can see people's whole past, their every emotion, memory and thought! Cool eh?" His voice may have sounded kind, and I knew dimly how nice of him it was. But I couldn't concentrate on that. Because through the conversation Bella's face had gone white. When she replied, her voice had turned to ice.
"That's great." Emmett didn't notice how cold her voice was, the way it was laced with loathing, but I did, he just smiled and ran upstairs to join Edward and Alice.
Bella turned to me slowly, her eyes hit me, all previous friendliness had evaporated nearly as soon as it had come. Her expression now-with Emmett gone- was pure and utter hatred. Her eyes burned me, I simply stood there, rooted to the spot, I couldn't move. Her face had lost all her preceding blush, now it was chalky white, the sort that only comes from great fear; shock; or hatred. I had a feeling that she felt all three.
And it had all been going so well.
Now Bella hated me; with a passion.
"You know." she hissed at me; I could not reply. Even though I was sure that had not been a question. I still stood there, unable to move, I felt dizzy; I was pretty sure of my skin colour, it was almost certainly whiter than Bella's. Unless it was blue, from oxygen deprivation. I tried to breathe, but couldn't the air around me seemed to have thinned, leaving my breathless. Literally.
"You've seen my past." She stated, her voice deadly, lower than before, yet it had the same effect. My feet had become two iron anchors, binding me, making movement impossible.
Bella hadn't moved either. She was staring at me, and her face contorted the longer she looked. Now, it seemed, my cover was blown.
"Right. I'll take that as a yes." She said, before giving me one last glare of absolute abhorrence and loathing. I was wrong to think that Rosalie's glares were bad.
They were like smiles compared to Bella's.
She ran upstairs, but slowed and when she reached the top, stopped. She looked at my through furious narrowed eyes, the chocolate brown, closer to black.
"If you tell anyone, I will kill you." I did not doubt her for one second. "do know what you are Lucie?" She spat at me, with glittering malice. I didn't respond, I felt so faint, when was the last time I'd drawn a breath? She waited before answering her own question. "You're just an interruption." Her voice was cold and hard. Like ice, yet stronger. Ice could shatter, I was like ice. Whereas Bella was like steel.
And then: she was gone, running up to join Edward.
With that my life crumpled before me, as all turned to nothing because of one simple fact.
Bella knew.
She would not let me come between her and Edward
And she would make them leave.
And I still couldn't breathe.
…………?
What did you think?
I updated fast eh?
Please review this… It's an extra special long one. :p And as promised the controversy between Edward and Lucie was included! (Edward is suffering because of it!)
I hope this shows that Bella isn't all evil… well… except from that last part…
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