A/N: This must be the most difficult way to get out of the closet. Mikuo pissed me off. He is too stubborn. Yes, that's right, my own writing ticked me off, as odd as that sounds.

Anywho, I do not own any of the vocaloid characters.

And now, the oh so annoying, chapter 5...

Chapter 5

"Is everything alright Mikuo?" I look up at Miku. "If you feel sick you shouldn't go to school."

"It's okay Miku, I'm not sick," just confused…

"Come on then. We don't want to miss the bus!" Miku pulls my arm.

We leave our house and make our way down the street to our bus stop. Today is Wednesday, three days after the 'incident' with Akaito. I can't face him anymore. I try to avoid him to prevent problems but whenever I look at him he seems so miserable.

It's my fault. But what can I do? I don't even know about myself anymore!

I haven't talked to Akaito since that day. It isn't that I don't want to; it's more because I don't know what to say. No one else knows about the kiss, though I think Akaito must have told Kaito all about it seeing that Kaito has been trying to comfort him all week.

Why can't you accept yourself for who you really are? You know you like him, why is it so difficult to accept?!

This stupid voice has been nagging at me for days now. I can't accept it. I simply cannot admit that I like him. I do not like, let alone love him.

I do not like him. He's my best friend, nothing more.

We wait at the corner of the street. I could feel Miku's gaze on me. I continue to look at the sidewalk.

Does she know? Great, this is all I need…my sister judging me because another guy kissed me.

"Mikuo, I know there's something wrong. Why don't you tell me?" she asks. I could hear the worry in her voice. She must think I don't trust her or something. I wouldn't blame her. At this point I don't even know what to think.

"I…I don't really know," I reply. It's the truth. I don't know.

"Oh…well whatever it is don't let it bother you too much, I don't like seeing you like this."

Don't let it bother me?! How can I get rid of the problem when I see him every day?! Akaito isn't the problem and you know it! He is the problem! Isn't! Is! Oh, whatever. There's a problem and that's that…but that problem is most likely me…

I hear the bus approach our stop. Miku and I quickly board the bus. As usual Miku sits next to Rin while Len and Kaito sat together. I felt Akaito's crimson gaze on me the entire time. I knew he wanted me to sit next to him but I didn't allow myself to do so. Instead I sat a few seats in front of him which was a bad idea because now I would feel him staring at me. In front of me I could hear Rin and Miku talking but I didn't really catch much of their conversation.

"So what's wrong with Mikuo?" I hear Rin ask Miku.

"I don't know, but I hope it passes," Miku replies.

The rest of the way seemed to pass slowly just to torture me. When the bus finally arrives at the school I knew I couldn't get off fast enough. Soon after I enter the school I hear Akaito call my name.

Don't listen, keep walking.

"Mikuo, please, just listen!" he pleaded. I really want to talk to him, but what would I say? What if he asks if I like him or not? How would I answer? "Mikuo!"

I keep walking. I know I should say something, but what is there to say?

God damn it! Turn around and tell him something! Apologize! Ask him how he really feels! Do something! You know he likes you! Be happy that there is someone interested in you! Gah! But that someone is my best friend! And that's only the beginning, he's a boy!

I stop, let out a sigh and turn around watching Akaito approach me. I caught his eyes and there was pure misery settled into his red gaze.

"Akaito please, just leave me alone! I can't talk to you! I need to think about all of this!" the words spilling out of my mouth made no sense to me but hopefully Akaito understood panic mixed with confusion.

"Mikuo I'm sorry! I didn't want to put you in this situation! I know you're not into guys! It's just…I can't hide from my feelings forever," Akaito says sadness adding an edge to his voice.

"That's the problem! I don't know what I'm into, Akaito! Let me think about this! Please leave me alone…" I turn and walk away aware of his gaze following me.

You can't avoid him forever…

I don't want to avoid him forever! I want to think! I want to think without him around!

I really need to think this through. Do I like him?

Well as a friend…of course…but do I feel more than that for him?

…Maybe…?

I don't know…

I reach into my book bag and pull out my cell phone.

Five minutes until class starts…now I have to deal with Akaito again.

Why is it such a big problem? So what if you are gay? Why does it matter? Are you afraid of what other's will think of you? Stop letting your pride get the best of you! You're not only hurting yourself, but you are also hurting Akaito. He's your best friend, he has always been there for you and now you ignore him, you try to avoid him. You know you're hurting him. Accept it. You have always felt the same way for him. You have always liked him more than a friend, now you're finally to the point where you can have him. Why is it so difficult for you to get out of the damn closet?! He has shown you how he really feels; now it's your turn.

"I can't do it…" I whisper to myself. I have to text Miku. I need to get out of here. I can't see him, not like this.

I text:

Miku I'm going home. I don't feel good. I'll see you later.

~Mikuo

She responds not too long after:

Okay. Be careful on your way back.

~Miku

I arrive back home about forty-five minutes later. On the way I was thinking of ways to tell Akaito how I feel. I came to the conclusion that I would never be able to tell him in person. I will write a note. I head upstairs to my room and I set my book bag next to my desk. I look over at my bed and spot Akaito's soft red scarf. I grab it and wrap it around my neck. It smelled of cinnamon even after all these days. I sit down on my bed searching through my memories. Starting from the first day we met. He was the first one to talk to me.

Was he interested in me then? Has he always felt something for me? Do I really feel the same?

I try to imagine life without Akaito. I know it wouldn't be the same. I would be lonely. As I thought of this I begin to feel an ache in my chest.

Every time he would tackle me, every time he would hug me, I would always feel my heart skip. Even when I just saw him. Has it always done that? Have I always had a soft spot for him?

The answer is simple.

"I have. How could I have been so blind? I do like-No. I love Akaito…"

Finally damn it! I told you! You love him. You would die without him, and you know it!

"I really do…I love him…I need to tell him!" I stand up and look over at the clock. 9:16am.

Great, now I have to wait until 3 o'clock to tell him.

But you will tell him, won't you?

Of course I will…

"I can't hide from my feelings forever…"

End notes: Did I not say it was irritating? D'awwwww...he can't hide from his feelings forever. How adorable. Wait, what? I didn't say that...hehe...

Anyway, review or I will no longer write. Yes, that's right! This is a threat! What are you going to do about it? Review this story, that's what! Now I command you! REVIEW!