HEYYYYY!
So of course, first of all, may I say: 270 REVIEWS!?- WOW! Thanks you guys, you never cease to make me smile! Here is the next chapter, I've written it all tonight, and now its currently 12:03am.. So yup… late, late, late.. And hence the shorter author's note :p Thanks to everyone who reviewed, but especially ScarletRoseX, for forcing me to post this (in a totally nice and un-sadistic way… :p) and for writing a fantastic new story that I highly recommend, check it out!
GAHH… I've forgot to put the disclaimer up for the last few chapters, this one counts for all of them okay?
Disclaimer: I have NOT , I do NOT, and will NEVER own Twilight. It all belongs to SM, (I just like to torture her characters a bit, kidding… honest… :P)
Without further ado, here ya go:
What happened last chapter:
The anger had not yet subsided in my veins. I needed something to improve my mood. And fast. Walking back through into the kitchen, I saw Esme. With a stab, I realised she must have heard everything I'd said.
I really did not like Edward Cullen.
Though what I felt, was nothing compared to what he felt.
Great. Just perfect.
"Esme," I sighed, talking bluntly, before sitting on a stool. "I need another muffin."
***
The Lies, Deceit and Secrets.
Esme just passed the tray to me, steaming muffins piled upon it. I snatched one up with a little more force than necessary. But I couldn't do much else. At least If I ate, people could not be affected by what I said. Because if my mouth was full of blueberry and chocolate chip muffin, I was pretty sure my sentences wouldn't be too coherent.
I looked at Esme and met her butterscotch gaze, her face portrayed the guilt that I usually felt, though right now, I still felt angry. I bit furiously into my muffin, feeling better as the sweet taste hit my lips. She was the one to speak first, her voice laced with sincerity, I grimaced, knowing all to well, that sincerity was something I neither wanted nor deserved. No, I definitely didn't deserve that. With how I acted.
"Are you ok Lucie?" Her voice was tentative.
"No." I mumbled, the thought escaping my lips, hating the fact I that I sounded like a stroppy teenager. And the fact that I grumbled more than mumbled.
But of course, Esme acted as if I was just in my frustration.
"Don't worry, I've got plenty of muffins to cheer you up!" I smiled weakly and gave her a thankful look, Esme was so kind in doing all this, in not persisting answers, even though I knew she had many. I was grateful. I nibbled on the muffin, though my previous hunger had significantly abated.
"Thank you Esme." I said, she smiled before sweeping her long elegant hair into a pony tail and beginning to clean the already prefect surface. It seemed Esme was a very clean person. I frowned, thinking of Edward, his last words still in my memory fresh and painful. Only four words, yet they were enough to make my world crumple. I hated the weak feeling surging through me, reading to take over. I tried to force the anger, make it stronger. I would not feel weak.
Esme spoke again, though her back had turned the moment before, I looked up seeing her scrutinise my frown.
"Don't let him get to you Lucie."
I stared at her, shocked at this, as I'd presumed she would scold me for my actions, after all, it was I who had been sarcastic, Edward had only tried to apologise. The thought if him made my stomach do strange things, half in confusion, and the other in the still prominent anger. I concentrated more on the anger, it was the key for not feeling weak, though I hated the actions it caused.
After all, Edward had been arrogant, cocky, and cryptic, and mentioned the fact that he hated me. I had an excuse, well, sort of.
"Lucie, I know you feel bad but none of this is your fault." Esme me continued, emphasising the fact I had done nothing wrong. I hadn't realised that I hadn't replied, I looked up apologetically, moulding the muffin in my hands. She thought this wasn't my fault? Did she really think that people were arguing of their own accord? I felt the anger ebbing again. I couldn't help it. Why was I not being blamed for all I'd done?
How wrong she was. Everything was my fault.
"Thank you Esme," I sighed, hating the fact that she felt the need to comfort me, when I was the least in the need of sympathy. And the one least favourable of it. "for everything, for being so kind and considerate despite all I've caused," She made a move to speak, her eyes widening as I told her this, I continued before she could stop me. "No, please, listen. I know you think that this isn't my fault, or at least deny the fact that it is. I'm sorry, really sorry, please don't apologise yourself, it'll make me feel worse. I forgive Jasper, and I'm sorry he's suffering - he shouldn't. I-I… well I don't know how I feel about Edward." I confessed to her, she sat down, though I knew she didn't feel tired of standing, she listened, not interrupting, and so, hesitantly, I continued.
"I don't know, one minute he's fine, and then the next, he acts like he hates me, which is what I deserve, but I can't deal with him switching all the time. He gets me angry Esme, I feel awful for acting how I did, talking like that - but I had to. He was blaming Jasper, and-" I felt myself beginning to choke on the words, I tried to force them out with more clarity. "Jasper shouldn't be blamed, and I got cross at him for shouting at Jasper, when he'd done the same to me. I just, well, like I said, don't know, I seriously think he hates me now Esme. Really I do. He's probably wishing I was dead." My voice became faint and trailed off. Esme just stared at me, pausing before replying, her angelic voice calm and peaceful. If I didn't know better, I would have suspected she had a power akin to Jasper's, what with her calming affect on myself; like the sea breeze.
"Lucie. Do you really think Edward hates you? Wishes you dead?"
I nodded solemnly.
He could feel nothing less.
She sighed, and lifted my face, which had fallen, staring at the polished wood of the table. I stared into her eyes, and saw the consideration in her gaze. "Lucie, can I ask you a question?"
"Yup." I mumbled. I would answer anything Esme asked, I did not deserve her level of kindness.
"Do you know who saved you from Jasper that night?"
I frowned at this, in confusion, because it struck me that I didn't. The obvious answer was Carlisle, it was evident he'd sterilised my newly opened cut, and he was after all, the only one capable of handling the bloodlust. Which was the reason I'd ruled Alice out, remembering her clawing the earth as she prevented from running at me, and Edward, as he stared at the dark stain on my side.
"Carlisle." I stated, sadly, wondering if Esme realised how good natured her husband was. Just like herself.
She continued to stare at me, and shook her head.
If I wasn't confused before, I sure was now.
"It wasn't Carlisle Lucie."
"But, the cuts, the smell- the blood…" I gushed out my words, who else could have saved me?
Could it be? No - that was preposterous.
"It was Edward Lucie."
I was pretty sure my jaw dropped, because I had considered him. Now realising the words I'd heard before sleep were more than a dream. As I thought about his apology, his actions towards Jasper, his response to my sarcasm, now it all made sense.
And the anger ceased completely, becoming steadily replaced with guilt.
"Oh."
She smiled ruefully, and stood up.
"I don't think you realise how sorry he is. I know he sometimes doesn't show it, but that's just who Edward is. Don't give him too much of a hard time, he is good at heart." Did she doubt I thought any less of him? "Lucie, I'm going to do find Carlisle, I need to talk to him, you don't mind-"
"No, it's okay, sorry for keeping you." I cut across her, standing. As she left the room, thankfully at a speed in which made it impossible for her to see my desolate expression, that I'd been holding for so long.
Why couldn't the earth swallow me now?
I escaped the room quickly, having the sensation of worried eyes following my back. I didn't know exactly what I wanted, or where I was going, I just wanted to get out. To escape the constant chaos and disarray left in my treacherous path. I had to get out, and so that's exactly what I did.
As soon as the cool raindrops hit my face, I felt instant relief, only hoping that my feelings - completely muddled and confused - could be so easily swayed and washed away. The sky above was turbulent, a dark grey, opaque darkness. The wind howled slightly, whipping my clothes around me, the jacket was steadily getting wet. If I'd began to dry off, then the moment had now left, for I was once again soaking.
I lifted my face to the sky, my vision blurring as I looked through the droplets, I felt oddly calm here, despite the creaking of treetops, pummelling rain, and thunder from above. For the first time that day, felt at ease. Myself.
Of course, the feeling was short lived.
For I saw a figure, standing a little away from myself, before the trees, yet not in the cover of them. The person did not seem to have noticed my arrival. Curiosity got the better of me, and I felt myself being drawn towards the figure, though I made no conscious effort to do so.
But once I was two meters away, it was not hard to guess who was in the rain. No-one could mistake that physique, nor the reddish brown hair, now plastered across his marble skin. Pure raindrops like diamonds encrusted in it. Standing six foot, two inches, he was deadly still. His head bowed unlike mine had been previously, his palms upward towards the sky.
He had never looked so godlike.
I tripped slightly on my approach and he turned. Slowly facing me. And it seriously felt like I would explode.
Purplish shadows were forming under his eyes, mauve, a light shade of purple, empathising his prominent high cheek bones, and long eyelashes. I suddenly wished I hadn't come out. Facing him was easier in my mind than reality. Still, I could not move as he drew closer to me, a slow pace for one like himself, one who could be next to me in a millisecond. And yet, he was moving oddly, still graceful, like a dance, yet slowly, as if he was afraid of me running. It was the same movement one would perform on approaching a shy animal, one that you didn't want to scare. I didn't look into his eyes. I couldn't, not without my thoughts becoming incoherent.
It was only when his voice reached me, melodic and flawless, did I remember. Because his tone was strained, in defiance. Of course, I'd forgotten how much he hated me.
"What are you doing." He didn't bother to say my name, it was obviously too informal, and right now, he sounded the most formal that I'd ever heard him, though it sounded odd when spoken through clenched teeth. And he could only be trying not portray his anger.
I envied him them; wished so badly I could feel the anger he could. Wished that I didn't feel the way I felt. It disgusted me. The rain was still falling, though the sound now seemed distant, as if falling silently, the hammering sound was now reduced to a light patter as it hit the trees, despite the fact, that it was raining no less than before.
"I'm doing the same as you." My voice was faint. Though I knew he could here it.
"And what would that be exactly." His tone was disbelieving. I didn't care, and I just said the truth.
"Escaping."
"From what?"
My feelings. My stupid feelings plaguing my already overcrowded mind.
"Sympathy." I lied smoothly, It was probably the most convincing lie I'd ever said, though I supposed it helped when you only said one word, and when you were staring at your feet, unwilling to meet the other's gaze.
"And you think I wanted to escape sympathy." Edward asked wryly, I could not see his expression, keeping my eyes firmly locked on the ground.
"No, I think you were escaping."
"From what?"
"Myself of course." I said, this indifferently, as if I did not care he'd left to get away from me. When he spoke next, his tone was softer though, no longer through clenched teeth. Though all this was probably just my imagination.
"Perceptive of you." He only whispered this, yet it confirmed my previous statement. I was aware of the howling wind, whipping my hair across my face, and I tried to brush it from my eyes, but failed, as it continued to whip around. I looked up, where my vision became clearer. Edward noticed all of this, though he evidently felt no need to brush the hair from his face. He just stood their stock still, and knew he was looking at me. But I did not meet his gaze when I spoke.
"I'm sorry Edward, I had no idea it was you who saved me from Jasper," I looked at him fleetingly, only to see his eyes averted from my own, he was staring at the forest, frowing, but he looked at me once I'd spoken and I couldn't bear the look in his eyes, the anguish. So once again, I looked down.
"So thank you." I whispered, the wind whipped at me again, forcing me to look up. I knew I should be freezing, but with Edward's presence, I felt as if I were on fire, no longer tired, but full of electricity. It was probably adrenaline. Yes, that would explain why my heart continued to beat furiously.
He did not reply at first, though I could tell he was staring at me, I shivered, despite not being cold. And of course, he misinterpreted this. His tone was brisk, dismissive, I could tell he wanted to be alone. Though I could not leave, not with the knowledge of what being alone did to me.
"It's cold."
"And yet you're standing outside." I retorted, realising the mistake the second the sentence left my lips.
"I am a vampire, I am the same temperature as this, unlike yourself, who isn't suited to it." he spat the word vampire like poison, it made me want to stand back, though I didn't, replying casually. Determined to stay.
"And I already told you, I like the cold."
He paused before thinking up another excuse. Jeeez, did he hate me that much?
"It's raining."
"And…"
"You're getting wet."
"So are you." Was it just me? Or was a slight smile playing on the corners of his lips?
"You'll catch a cold in this weather."
"Colds have nothing to do with it being cold, in fact, the virus that causes the flu or colds, thrives in warm atmosphere. People just get more colds in the winter because they spend more time indoors. But it is not the cold weather that causes the cold, it just might make it easier to spread the virus. So no, I won't catch a cold, thank you for your concern though."
It was a lengthy retort, but it worked, the bluntness seemed to have shut him up, now I assumed, he had run out of excuses. But nonetheless, his reply was smooth, humour evident, and I could tell without looking, that he was trying to hide a smile.
"Touché."
"I know, I could Mr Banner a run for his money." I said coolly.
"I don't doubt it."
He had drawn closer to me. And finally, I looked into his eyes, trying to portray my sincerity, only wishing that my own eyes had the same effect as Esme's had previously.
"Edward? Do you forgive me?
"For you calling me a hypocrite? And for your doubt in my heroic act?" His sentence was arrogant, though his voice wasn't it was hollow, the anguish slipping slightly.
"Yes, I breathed." for doing all that."
"Only on one condition."
"Anything."
"You forgive me for how I was earlier."
"Already done." I replied, completely truthfully.
"Fine, you're forgiven." He said calmly, and I tried to smile slightly, but failed once more, I knew my expression looked more like a grimace. I couldn't help it.
For I knew that the amount of fervour in my voice was wrong, and I knew that despite everything I'd tried to do previously. I was failing, because I was being weak. I should not be feeling calm around Edward, anger should be making my heart beat furiously, not whatever else was. I was completely unjust, it was not fair. My life wasn't fair. And I wasn't being fair. The phrase: 'life's not fair.' was underrated, for it was the simple and utter truth.
Bella did not deserve to have to put up with me.
But Edward did not deserve to be lied to.
Should I tell him about Jacob, even if he didn't believe me, would it be right to do so?
Edward broke me out of my thought, and I didn't know how to respond to his question, which he seemed to use frequently. Though this time, it seemed more earnest than ever before.
"What's wrong Lucie? What are you thinking?" There was longing in his voice. And I wished desperately that I could answer his second question, wished that I didn't have a stupid gist that enabled me to see people's past. I wished it all didn't have to be me. As it was though, I could only answer his first, and I did so, wishing that I could answer both. Yet knowing that only Bella could tell him about her past, not myself, even if it caused me anguish and pain, I would not intervene. I had to do this.
Only I should suffer. No one else. My thoughts said, and they were of course, correct.
I felt a cool hand lift my face up, gently, forcing my eyes to look into his. I tried to ignore there intensity, there depth, as if I had the ability to see right into his untarnished soul. But failed. So, I sighed, and admitted the truth to him, like so often, whenever I stared into his eyes. Though only, to the first question; for the other, would have to remain unanswered. I couldn't lie to him, not when he stared at me like that. Not with the way his eyes seemed to x-ray me, they would pick up on the lie, before it escaped my lips.
"I don't know what to do Edward."
"All things being equal, the simplest solution is often the right one." He murmured calmly, a smile turning up the corners of his lips.
An from somewhere inside me, the annoyance towards him flared again, even though he wasn't being overly arrogant.
Yeah, because that helped.
"Don't tell me Occam's razor." I snapped at him, he raised his eyebrow, surprised.
"You knew that?" His voice was incredulous.
"Yes." I said crossly, honestly, he was no better than Mr Banner or Bella, constantly doubting my intellect… Do I have a sign on my head saying 'incredibly thick'?
He chuckled, I could tell he enjoyed my irritation. He was further away from me now, but still close, about three feet apart. He looked back at me, his face devoid of all its previous angst, making him look even more beatific, despite the rain soaking him, it only added to the effect. Causing his hair to be showered with diamonds, his lean physique and muscles prominent through the wet fabric. Clinging to his body. I was once again, very glad of the jacket I was wearing, he might look appropriate with his clothing see through, I however, would not.
When I drew my eyes away from his features though, I found his eyes, and instantly blushed at his raised eyebrow. But it wasn't because I was annoyed I couldn't do the same. I really hoped he hadn't seen my eyes rake his figure. Thank goodness he couldn't read my mind. That was one thing I was glad about.
"Lucie?" he asked casually, and I felt myself realise how easy it was to talk to him, despite all that had happened.
"Hmmm?" I mumbled, feeling a strong urge to look at the floor again, not wanting to be swayed once more by his penetrating gaze. I forced myself to keep looking at him though, and was proud when found my pulse was steady, no longer beating embarrassingly loud.
He was smiling now, a strange glint in his eye, in amusement.
"What's so funny? Well, It's me I presume, it tends to be, but, err, what particular part?" My sentence didn't really make sense as it gushed out, Edward grinned wider.
"Well, hmm, never mind."
I glared at him.
And of course, he smiled wider.
"So, what were you doing before Alice dragged you here?" he asked, as if we were in a normal conversation, not standing outside in a thunder storm, with rain soaking both of us. I knew what he was trying to do. And it wasn't going to work.
"Stop trying to avert the conversation. What is so funny!" my tone sounded like a growl, making Edward grin crookedly showing a pair of perfectly white teeth devoid of vampire fangs. Was there any disadvantages to being a vampire? Okay, ignoring the whole bloodlust and inability to sleep and supposedly being eternally dammed. I mean physically…
"Not unless you tell me what you're thinking."
Damn. He had me there. Stupid Edward. Well no, annoyingly smart Edward.
"Now," He continued smugly, evidently pleased at how my face was contorting in annoyance. What was so funny?! "What were you doing exactly, Lucie?" His tone took on that polite gentlemanly voice. And it seemed to up my irritation a notch.
"Doing the English essay." I replied bluntly. "Have you done it?" I knew he could do so in a second, and that his English was far superior to the teacher's, but I was going to play along with his game. Hoping that somewhere along the lines I would find out why he had prevented form laughing when he looked at me.
"Nope." he said, averting his gaze to the trees, still flailing in the wind. In fact, they were thrashing about. It must be freezing, though I still felt heated, the cold was not affecting me as yet.
"Edward! It's due in tomorrow," I gasped in mock horror "will you do it later?"
"Nope, not if I can help it."
"Why? You need, a good education…" I trailed off, knowing full well that Edward certainly did not need a good education, seeing as he already had an amazing one. He looked over at me an smirked slightly, "Education is important, school however, is another matter." The way he said it was dark, dislike was evident. I just laughed, completely agreeing to this. I liked the feeling as I laughed, enjoyed the lightness it created. I felt almost free, it had been a long time since I'd really done so.
But as I thought about what Edward said, I realised that maybe I wasn't the only one who found school tedious?
"School. Pointless, irrelevant, tiring school." I stated smiling
"School. Futile, superfluous, strenuous school."
"Utterly correct, screw school!"
"Right." He chuckled at my enthusiasm, and my heart skipped a beat at the sound. "Screw it."
But then, I realised his methods of distracting were working, and exceedingly well…
I was about to retort to his comment, but not before my phone vibrated. I didn't answer at first, because it was a complete surprise no one ever called me. I wondered who it was. Though the most likely person should be my father, I doubted it. Him and new technology didn't mix.
"Lucie," Edward sighed, "you do know that when that vibrates, it generally means someone's calling you. And when someone calls you you're meant to answer-"
"Shut up Edward." I retorted, though not angrily, fumbling with my pocket, and struggling to prise it out from the wet fabric. Finally it was free, but as my wet fingers closed around the small device, it fell, and splashed into a muddle. The vibrating ceased and bubbles emitted from the almost black puddle, with ripples forming each time a raindrop his its normally smooth surface.
"Edward!" My head snapped up and glared at him, as if the whole occurrence was purely his fault, and not due to my inability to hold something. But Edward looked just as surprised at himself for not catching the phone. He bent down quickly and retrieved it, though now the screen was black.
"It's broken."
"Really? I'd never of guessed."
"Enough with sarcasm."
"Enough with stating the obvious."
"Good point." he muttered.
"I know, but that's not the point, why didn't you retrieve it? What were you doing? Staring at me?" At this, Edward looked slightly sheepish, and abruptly changed the subject.
How typical.
"I think it was your father Lucie, what with what happened this morning…"
"Yeah, I think it probably is," I said, taking the phone from him, but as soon as I touched Edward's skin, the reality of his words hit me, I stared at him intently, determined to work out his response. "wait - how on earth do you know about that?! With my father?"
He looked away and I could tell he'd slipped up, he managed to mumble a reply, which was incidentally, one that I was not satisfied with. In the least.
"Alice mentioned it."
But I hadn't told Alice…
"Lucie, seriously, if it is your father, I think you should go home to him, does he usually call you."
I bit my lip, confused and worried, and guilty all at once, because I agreed with Edward, and I knew it was him. I only hoped he'd forgive me, and accept the fact that I simply couldn't leave Forks… I just couldn't.
"Edward? Do you mind taking me back?" I asked hesitantly, he shrugged casually.
"That's what I was implying, anyway, you need to get out of this cold weather, I may not be able to feel it, but I'm sure you can." He said, towing me towards his Volvo by the arm, I felt very small then. Being towed as if I was unable to walk.
"Don't tow me, I can walk." I muttered indignantly.
"Yes, but seeing as I know you'd object to me carrying you, towing was the next best option," he said as I got inside the shiny Volvo. It made my tattered old blue car look bad, and the worst thing was, I knew this was nothing compared to the rest of them.
The ride was perfectly fine, Edward drove expertly, though admittedly a little (well, a lot) too fast for my liking, I only noticed and was drawn out of the conversation when I looked out the window to see a streak of green flash past. And looked towards the dashboard, which said that we were travelling at 100 miles per hour.
"Edward!" I screeched. "Slow down!"
And of course, being him, he ignored me.
Hence the sulky mood the whole way back.
Once he pulled into the familiar drive I looked at him again, only to find him staring at me, a smile playing on the corners of his lips once more. It reminded me of earlier, when he was trying not to laugh at something-
"Lucie," He said, as I climbed out the car,
"Yeah?" I said, now feeling cold as the rain whipped across my front, I pulled the jacket round me tightly. And Edward smirked again. Which, oh-so-surprisingly, not improve my mood. In fact, it only aggravated it.
"You really want to know why I was smiling earlier?" I knew I should retort coolly, dismiss his remark, state that I did not want to know, or care. But, being myself, I didn't.
"Yes." I mumbled.
"Sorry? Didn't quite catch that?" Edward grinned cockily. Didn't hear that? Right, and his vampire hearing has just eluded him for the time being has it? I glared at him, and saw the reflection of my eyes in the car window, sure enough, they were now emerald coloured. Hmm, I wonder what mood I was in?
"I said: yes." I muttered, and walked towards the door, hoping that in doing so, he would reply. My tactics worked. He drove back towards the road, turning expertly. Show off. Stupid Edward. Stupid shiny Volvo. I knew my car was feeling intimidated by the inanimate vehicle.
"Well, just ask yourself where Alice got that jacket from, or more to the point, who's it is." He sped off, leaving me standing stupidly in the rain. Gaping after him.
So that's why it smelt so darn nice!
"Stupid Edward, Stupid shiny Volvo owner." I muttered, walking into the house, not realising the fact that my father was before me, well, that was until I saw his green boots, really odd green boots in fact. Only my father would wear such an atrocity, Alice, would probably faint at the sight of him.
I looked up slowly, as the guilty feeling seeped back in. As I met his eyes, I blurted out the first thing that popped into my head.
"Dad, I'm sorry. Really sorry please don't-"
But I was cut off, as my oxygen left me, for my father had just given me a bear tight hug. He talked into my hair, and I smiled against his chest. Feeling once more, like a little girl.
"It's okay Lucie, you're forgiven as always, anyway, I should be apologising," I wanted to object but he continued, "look, we won't move well, at least not yet, I promise we won't go unless you want to." So never then? "As long as you promise not to scare me again honey, seriously, I can't cope when you run off like that!"
I entangled myself from his grip and smiled up at him.
"I promise dad, sorry if I scared you."
"That's all right then, oh, and…" he trailed off, a glint in his eyes.
"You want me to make you an extra-special-supper, to make up for it?" I asked, grinning, and he returned it. Looking like a small child who's just been told they now own a chocolate factory.
"Could you? With the fillets grilled and that special sauce you make that goes with the-"
"Special potatoes, yeah I know dad!" I smiled and proceeded to make the meal.
When it was all cooked, I brought two plates back to the dining room table, and my father smiled up at me affectionately, and I returned this. We began to eat, and my dad complemented me on my amazing cooking skills, I just smiled, knowing that they were in fact pretty rubbish. Because the truth was, the so called 'special sauce' was really just some plain salsa, and the rest was easy. Could only cook a few nice (and remotely edible things) but they tasted five star quality, well, at least when compared to my father's…
But after we'd finished, my dad spoke, with the air of holding a very important and exciting secret.
"Honey, we've got guests tomorrow!" He blurted out. I looked up from my finished plate, completely and utterly surprised.
"Really?" I asked in disbelief, who'd visit us? Did dad even know anyone from Forks?
"Yep, and old friend of mine," evidently, he did… "though I can't say who! It'll be a surprise! They're coming after school tomorrow. I can't wait for you to meet them." So there's more than one? This was getting odder by the minute.
I complained a little and tried to make him say who it was, or who they were. But my father didn't budge, stubborn as ever. Just repeating the sentence: 'it's a surprise!' he knew I hated surprises, what with being used to knowing everything.
In the end, I gave up, it was already 10pm, and abruptly, I felt immensely tired, stripping off into the shower, the water fell alike to the rain before, though it was significantly warmer. Once I'd washed and brushed my teeth, I pulled on my pyjamas. And climbed into bed. Feeling sleepy. Though that was not the only thing.
Something wasn't right. And it took me a while to realise what it was.
Because tugging on the elusive edges of my subconscious, was the reason why I'd left the house, and my father this morning. It wasn't his threat to leave. It was what he'd said.
And now the thought came back, sending an unexpected shiver of fear shake me.
It's what your mother tried to stop.
The fear that shook me was the one I was most afraid of. For it was the simple and undeniable fear of the unknown. I knew my face was now drained of colour, and so I tried to regain some life into my features as I saw the light outside the door of my room.
My father came in, and sat on the edge of my bed, scrutinising my expression, and judging by his which was portraying worry, my acting skills didn't seem to be working. He smiled at me and talked in a quiet voice, I knew he was trying to change my expression, I knew he only wanted me to be happy. So I listened quietly and intently.
"Honey, do you remember when you were only five, and your mother had just told you about how dangerous it was to run with the scissors?" I just looked at him, what was he going on about… scissors?
"Where did this come from dad?" I asked warily, finding my voice, intrigued by the random memory, which for some reason, I couldn't yet recall. He just grinned widely, his eyes distant, remembering.
"You ran into the room with scissors, holding them up like a God and shouted at me, incredibly happy at your achievement." He started to laugh again, and I couldn't help the small smile that gently fell across my face. My father was always one to make me feel content, despite all else. I really, truly loved him, and I knew the emotion was mirrored.
"What did I say?" I asked, curious now, despite the randomness.
"You said to me: 'Daddy! I ran with scissors and I lived!" and I started laughing, when you thrust them at me, as if you'd just saved the world." he smiled affectionately at me and ruffling my hair.
"Oh yeah!" I said, finally remembering, and squirming out of his fingers "And then mum came in telling me never to do that again, and I repeated my amazing achievement." I said calmly, I thought I'd broken a record or something back then, in my innocence as a child I had been told never to run with scissors. It was forbidden. I started to laugh too, but the sound soon left, leaving me once again empty, as I thought about her, my mother. I could tell there was now an awkward silence falling between my father and I, because of the mention of my mother, and I knew he was thinking the same thing, but this thought was cut off short. As my dad stood up then, kissed me on the head and murmured into my hair, like he used to do when I was little. In the days when life had been so much simpler.
But anything was simpler than my life now I supposed.
"That's right honey, I love you, never forget that." He walked to the door, but paused, I whispered my reply, pulling the duvet around me. Liking the sense of comfort it provided.
"I won't daddy, and I love you too."
"You'll always be my special girl sweetheart, don't let anything come between us, okay?"
"I won't daddy." I whispered again.
"Night then, have sweet dreams."
But how could I dream? When my living life and night was consumed by nightmares?
"Night." I said, but it was too late, my father had left the room, and I was just lying there, the window wide open, and the night air howling, causing the curtains to twist and turn, though despite this. I was not cold. Again, the feeling returned, the numb sensation seeping into me.
And as I drifted off into an uneasy sleep, one question plagued my mind, which made my stomach twist in worry.
Was my father hiding something from me?
Though, I already knew the answer, in fact, I was certain of it.
Because deep within me, I knew the answer was yes.
My father couldn't trust me with the secret.
And that alone, scared me more than anything.
***
Can anyone guess who the guests may be? Tee he!- extra special prize to those who do!
Okays, yesh, I lied… this isn't school is it? *gasp* I'm sorry, really sorry, but I had to split it into two again. I swear on my life that Lucie will return to school next chapter! Okay?! :p
And I know, all of you probably are thinking: 'what about Bella?' Well don't worry, this chapter was really just there so you can see that Edward's not in a big strop with Lucie and so you can see a bit more of her father's personality. But, with regarding Lucie and Edward, please don't think they're best buds now… because Lucie's still annoyed with his little arrogant tendencies, and of course, that whole conversation happened, without Bella present! I think it would have been a little bit different if she was there…
And some people asked if Jasper will apologise better, don't worry, he will in due course! As will Rosalie's - so far mysterious character - never fear!
Anyway, thanks for reading, please review! PLEASE! As requested, I am giving out cranberry muffins, as some very brave reviewers gave up chocolate for lent, and for those who write nice long reviews, they get a free Jasper, instead of Edward… because, he was requested, along with the different type of almighty muffin ;)
So hmms.. That's another chapter, please tell me what you think! I was thinking, maybe this chapter could boost this story up to 300 reviews? Okay, yeah, maybe not… but a girl can dream right?
Lily- who may eat all the cranberry muffins and then turn obese as a consequence, and then DIE as a bigger consequence- unless people take them away by reviewing. (so If you look at it that way…. Reviewing saves my life! You could all be heroes! :p)