Peace of Mind
A Mass Effect Fanfic
By: Shadowfox83
Disclaimer: Mass Effect, its characters, story, setting, along with anything and everything else in between is property of both EA and Bioware.
Author's Note: Just to get back into the spirit of writing and because this small idea struck so suddenly, the following is a one-shot set during the story of Mass Effect 2 focusing on Shepard and Kelly with just a few basic spoilers nothing major mind you.
She watched her many times a day come and go all around the Normandy SR-2, from the galaxy map hub, meeting with their ace pilot Joker, to exiting into one of the side doors so she could attend to the numerous other matters on the ship and its ever increasing crew.
There was just so much to do and she often wondered how it didn't break her mentally and or physically…of course she'd then quickly remember who it was she was thinking of.
Commander Hayley Shepard, a heroine to all of humanity hell if not all of the universe considering the woman had gone head to head with the villainous turncoat Saren and the ominous Sovereign and despite that lived to tell the tale…of course Fate is often funny (in a sick and brutal way) when one really stops to think about certain events in life.
Not too long after the infamous Reaper attack on the Citadel Shepard, the original Normandy, and its crew were nearly all assassinated by a much stronger vessel belonging to the mysterious beings known as The Collectors.
Frightening creatures that were quickly taking over the role The Geth had left behind as the universe's largest and most powerful threat to interstellar-peace, of course there was still The Reapers to contend with as well.
In any case while her teammates were able to escape along with several other members of the crew due to Shepard's quick thinking the Commander herself had in ways gone down with the ship…yet an outside force decided it was not yet her time…
She hadn't really read up on the project (dubbed "Lazarus") nor could she considering the organization kept all knowledge of it behind lock and key so even though she was a member of Cerberus there was no way she was getting clearance.
She found it rather annoying here she was the secretary to the Commander and was still being restricted from some certain details.
Then again when she actually paused to think about it…Shepard enslaved by death's icy grip…a part of her didn't even want to think about what…what was left of her commanding officer when Cerberus found her corpse after it had entered the atmosphere of an unclassified planet…
She coughed suddenly yet softly so as to not bring any unneeded attention to herself, her previous thought having left her with a disgusting nauseating feeling way down at her very core.
She shook it off as best she could and simply recalled how pleased she was when she learned that she'd be working side by side with Shepard. The Commander was such a strong yet still very attractive woman to her, a perfect blend of beauty and brains in her humble opinion.
She felt a mild facial flush build up before sighing to cool down her inner temperature. Commander Shepard truly was one of a kind…and yet she still found herself drifting back to her previous thoughts.
Death, it scared her it really did and it scared her to think about it. Like when the genetically altered Krogan, Grunt, was first brought on board she spoke with Shepard about how nervous it made her and if he'd suffer a case of violent anger (which was common to his kind) she'd waste little time dashing to somewhere safe.
Of course Shepard being the considerate woman she was calmed her nerves stating she'd never allow Grunt to harm her in any way. Given Shepard's track record and personal history she didn't doubt that one bit, The Commander was a woman who stared down the greatest of opponents without so much as batting an eye sometimes even with a sense of humor.
She wished she could be half as brave as her superior. Perhaps that was why she was scared of dying what it must have felt like to die and what if they all failed and The Collectors had their way.
She shivered at the thought yet was still curious about how The Commander had been revived from seemingly nothing at all.
She had tried to speak to the second-in-command Miranda yet got nothing but empty answers. The older colder woman stating it was nothing of her concern and a waste of personal time to look into.
In ways she had to be honest and expected that sort of response from Lawson, being a member of the crew didn't exactly mean you were automatically in her good graces. Even Shepard seemingly had to earn the raven-haired woman's trust so what chance did she have...
Un-relented though she instantly thought of going to Option B or in this case the biotic Jacob Taylor.
Jacob was almost the clear opposite of Miranda easy to talk too, although didn't seem to like forced conversations, a good listener, and as Joker had put it once "was really too nice a guy for someone who knew how to kill a person in so many different ways".
But she digressed for perhaps the man did know something or at least let something slip that obviously wasn't going to happen with Miranda…
Unfortunately for the poor girl Taylor didn't know much either other then the obvious that the project was hush-hush. Jacob didn't have to the heart to tell her of how Shepard appeared when he first saw her prior to the vastly expensive reconstruction. The image still sickened him and he was a trained soldier who saw death and destruction on a nearly daily basis. There was simply no way he was scaring her by sharing the details.
So yet again she found herself at a dead end. Sighing in a defeated fashion she made the short trip back to her station and began focusing on her work.
"Anything new to report?"
The question came so sudden she nearly leaped out of her leather boots but luckily was able to contain her surprise before turning over and coming face to face with The Commander.
She stood startled for a moment before blurting out a rushed "No Ma'am". She almost felt herself shrink under the slightly amused expression on The Commander's face, inadvertently her bright emerald eyes drifted toward the scar on Shepard's left cheek. She wasn't exactly sure what would cause it to seemingly heal one day then reappear just as it was the next?
In any case she averted her eyes quickly before The Commander could raise a question about where exactly it was she was looking although to be fair Shepard didn't seem to mind or care of anyone taking notice of her scaring features. Guess she wore them as a badge of honor like other soldiers did.
Shepard's previous expression softened, although she could still make out a hint of amusement in her superior's dark blue eyes.
"Very well I should go then."
With that said Shepard turned on heel and began to walk away from her. This time it seemed she was headed toward the elevator or maybe she had come from the elevator, who knows but for a moment she felt the need to stop the redheaded woman from exiting the room. But as expected she wasn't brave enough to call out to Shepard, she cursed at herself for her personal weakness.
Maybe or maybe not but Shepard seemingly stopped for a split-second before continuing on her way. Such a weird signal, had the woman actually given her a chance to speak? She wasn't truly sure, Shepard's actions around her were at times thought-provoking and almost borderline flirtatious but she knew just like that the opening had come and gone.
She sighed again; it was starting to become an annoying habit, before returning to her duties although it didn't take long for the mind of Yeoman Kelly Chambers to drift back to her superior…
During her break she wondered what exactly she would say, how would she react, could she even get the proper words out, all these questions ran through her head as she took the elevator up toward the first floor of the ship and in turn Shepard's personal room.
A bit drastic on her part she'd admit to that but she wanted a few things answered, a few things off her chest, and perhaps just a moment to talk in private with the woman-in-charge.
The elevator came to a complete stop and she exited out the doorway already aware that Shepard was still in her room, due to having spoken earlier with the ship's AI, EDI.
A controlled breath here and there as she took the short steps down toward the sealed door that kept her out of The Commander's personal space. For a moment she wondered if there was a metaphor in there somewhere.
Her fist paused for a moment just an inch or two away from the metallic object before setting aside her uneasiness and tapping away to get Shepard's attention.
Inside Shepard was busy roaming through any unread files on her personal computer, her eyes occasionally drifting toward the image of Liara that sat on the side end of her desk.
Their reunion wasn't exactly how Shepard had hoped for it to turn out. As with many of her original crew, with the possible exception of Joker, Liara had changed in two years time. Shutting her eyes she still remembered the images and the memories of the Asari she had come to care for and even love but now those same images and memories really did feel as if they were from a lifetime ago.
She had been put into a permanent retirement of sorts for two years and the galaxy along with all of its inhabitants had moved on never once expecting for The Citadel Heroine to return. So was life she thought with a distant look in her dark eyes.
Shepard snapped out of her trance when she heard a soft knock at her door. The look from before fading away and being replaced with one of slight curiosity usually she went to her crew not the other way around. It amused her a tad.
She stood outside wondering if maybe EDI was wrong and Shepard was actually else where but those thoughts were set aside when she heard the familiar voice of The Commander.
"Who is it?"
"It's me, Commander, Yeoman Chambers, can we talk?"
A moment of silence came her eyes darting all over the place wondering if maybe now wasn't the right time? Shepard was usually busy so maybe she didn't have time right now…
"Door's open, come on in."
She blinked for a moment before realizing what her superior had just said wasting no time she entered Shepard's personal room. Once inside she quickly thanked The Commander for allowing her passage and did her best not to take in all the sights like a kid in a candy store.
Shepard smiled briefly at her as the door shut behind the younger woman although albeit curious as to what she had in mind and why she couldn't just say it down below.
"Go ahead, feed them."
Shepard told her as she stood still watching with a smile as the fish swam contently inside the well-sized tank. She did as told pushing the nearby button and chuckled softly as the food was released the fish drifting toward the bits and pieces.
Finally turning her attention over to Shepard she suddenly felt the need to fight off a blush as The Commander stood there smiling softly at her near childish actions. Embarrassment was all she could think of yet again feeling as if she would shrink under the gaze of her commanding officer.
Shepard's own soft chuckle however brought her back to reality the redheaded woman questioning what brought her here in the first place.
She paused for a moment trying to gather the words she wanted to ask. It wasn't as if she was pressed for time but still having a sort of brain freeze here and now wasn't helping her at all. Might as well get it out now she at last thought…
"Commander what was it like when the Normandy…fell…?"
She stared in wonder at the question asked from the young woman in front of her. The Normandy the original again like with the memories of Liara felt as if that was a lifetime ago in ways it was.
"Painful, both in a physical and emotional sense…"
Her voice drifted for a moment at toward the end and she could see the visible pain in the expression of the younger crew-woman she could only assume the girl must have felt terrible for asking such a question.
Shrugging her shoulders slightly she took a few steps toward her secretary slowly wrapping a hand around the woman's right shoulder. It startled the younger redhead but the soft smile she directed at her eased the girl's emotions.
"I won't ever let that happen again."
She sighed after listening to The Commander a part of her still upset that she had chosen such an uneasy question to ask of her superior yet another part felt as if some of the tension from before was gone.
She blurted out a slow apology and was met with a simple "No harm done"; The Commander was too kind she thought.
"Is that all?"
This time she wasted no time shaking her head responding with a quick no.
"Oh?"
"Commander…just how were you brought back to life?"
Yet another interesting question tossed at her from the younger girl. Now it was her turn to pause for a moment recalling the moments when she awoke in the Cerberus lab and how every portion of her body had seemingly been reconstructed back into working order.
"Cerberus performed a hell of an operation on me."
It was blunt but it was the truth yet she could see the redhead wasn't completely satisfied with the answer. Was she looking for something more detailed?
"I don't know many of the actual details as to what exactly went on and how I became whole again"
Instinctively she flexed one of her hands for a moment. She went on to explain that she felt no actual pain during the procedure instead just a continuous numbness almost emptiness from the moment she died up until her sudden revival in the laboratory. What Cerberus had done during those two years time was even beyond her even now she had no clear idea what had been repaired, redone, and or outright replaced. It was something she didn't want to think about much quite frankly.
Shepard apologized to her stating that if she wanted real answers it was best to ask Miranda. Of course she explained how she had done so and gotten nothing valuable or knowledgeable out of the raven-haired woman.
She felt herself chuckle alongside Shepard, The Commander stating that yes Miranda could be rather tight-knit about things even to someone like her which was rather ironic considering Lawson was her second.
"Ultimately it seems I was brought back because I still have work to do so don't worry yourself over the small details."
She nodded at the advice given to her Shepard was right all that mattered was that she was still here and still fighting for humanity's sake, on that note though…
"The Collectors, can we really beat them? They've already taken so many of our people you've seen them first-hand they're powerful they're frightening…"
A short gasp exited her lips as Shepard led her by the hand toward the bed that sat at the back of her room. She sat down firmly on the soft mattress staring away at The Commander's firm expression.
"Kelly, are you afraid of dying?"
Another gasp before she instinctively turned away from the redheaded woman's gaze. Either Shepard was good at reading people or maybe she had made it too obvious. The Normandy's fall, the reconstruction of Shepard's body, fear of The Collectors…
She sighed in defeat it was in fact that obvious when she thought about it.
"Maybe I am. What I mean is that while I know how to fire a gun I'm no soldier I can't stand the sight of blood gore…death…"
She chuckled almost pitifully.
"Maybe that's why I decided to apply for a desk job so to speak. I'm a secretary not a commando the thought that we may fail and what The Collectors could do to us…it frightens me, Commander."
Shepard watched and listened in carefully as she felt her eyelids shut close a part of her feeling choked up due to the rather selfless confession.
Her eyes however snapped open, her tear ducts just seconds away from opening up a dam but for now not getting the chance, after The Commander had gently wrapped an arm around her almost in protecting fashion.
She stared at the younger girl, who sat still in her wrapped around arm, taking but a moment to crack a smile in her direction.
"I can't exactly tell you what will happen when Joker jumps us through the Relay but I can say this. I promise you I won't let them have their way with my crew as they did two years ago."
She watched the younger redhead's sadness almost melt away but just to ensure her worries were at ease she extended a sole finger outward pressing it right on the girl's heart.
"I won't let them take you from me, Kelly."
She smiled so softly while Shepard spoke to her and in ways believed she was blessed to be sharing this moment with her superior. Just like with her teammates the standard ship crew also meant so much to The Commander and she could make out clear as day the devotion the older woman had in her eyes. The focus the desire to eliminate The Collectors and put everyone's fears, not just hers, to rest. Shepard was remarkable.
"Thank you, Commander."
It was a simple response but she felt herself lost in a tranquil state of mind, one that she hadn't experienced in a long time. It felt good to at last be at peace in doing so she unknowingly shifted to one side and rested her head on Shepard's shoulder.
While she could have made a move to correct or discipline the girl instead simply decided it was best for her to get some rest. She remembered being told sometimes it was for the best that and Kelly more then deserved it
The two of them sat there for minutes on end…
"Well I should…get going, before I wear out my welcome."
She smiled at the younger redhead who struggled for a moment to find her proper footing a minor blush still ever present on her pale cheeks. She could only imagine that the girl hadn't intended on resting on her shoulder much less spending a quiet moment with her.
How could she have allowed for that to happen yet again she had made herself to look like a fool in front of her superior officer, she could already feel the embarrassment flow through her like wildfire. Surely The Commander thought of her as a fool and yet…there Shepard sat unmoving and simply grinning softly.
She too smiled deciding it was time for her to make an exit before she yet again did something foolish in front of the older woman.
As she made her way out however she heard Shepard call out to her. She nearly laugh at the irony of it all.
"Kelly, don't ever let your fears get the best of you."
She stood silent yet after turning over she watched Shepard take but a moment to wrap her arms around her slender neck.
"Know that I'll always be there no matter what happens."
A kiss, more like a small quick peck on the lips but the emotion of it all nearly threw her for a complete loop Shepard, the grand heroine of the galaxy, had just planted a small token of affection on her stunned lips.
Her eyes however trailed over toward The Commander's desk and there sat an image of an Asari, no doubt in her mind it was the one that Shepard had become rather close with years ago.
"But…"
Having separated herself from Shepard she stared at The Commander's dark eyes searching for any sort of answer.
"Sometimes you're forced to move forward other times you yourself choose to move under your own power."
She only had one response to that.
"I'll never leave your side, Commander Shepard."
She and Shepard embraced once again although this time it was her turn to plant a kiss on her superior's lips enjoying and drinking in the emotion just as she had before and just as she expected to many times in the future.
Her mind was at last at ease and for that she was thankful but more importantly from this point onward she'd do her best filling in the hole left in Shepard's heart.
After all someone had to be there for Shepard just as she was always there for everyone else in the galaxy, on that note Yeoman Kelly Chambers would take it upon herself to be the one that would always welcome The Commander back home…and maybe feed the fish while her love was away fighting for humanity.
Closing Notes: As stated before the premise for this whole story basically came in one quick thought and it was something I felt I had to write about. At the moment as I progress through the sequel Shepard is still my favorite character in the series and Kelly is a wonderfully affectionate minor character that I just needed to write something about the two of them. This was the end result.
In closing just want say to those that read this hope you enjoyed it as much as I did writing it all out, please let me know what you think with a review even if it's a quick one. Once again thank you for taking time to read this story of mine.