A/N: SOOOOOO sorry it took so long to update. I started school a while back, and the amount of work was a HUGE shock. No free time at all...but I finally have some, so here it is at long last. Once again, totally sorry, but thanks for sticking with the story, I hope you like the next chapter. I am going to to the chapters a bit shorter, as to update more frequently. This one is also pretty dark. Don't read if dark stuff bothers you. Enjoy :)

Loud, angry music screamed out of the speakers of Addison's laptop. This wasn't her usual, pop/country favourites. This was metal. The music seemed to match Addison's angry, self-destructive mood. Without a reasonable doubt, this was the most angry she had ever been in her 15 years of life. This morning, her mother told her that they would be moving in with her mother's lover. Leaving her childhood home, leaving her school district, leaving Derek.

Derek's family would be at a cottage on a lake for the next 6 days. He'd only been away for one day, and Addison's life was falling apart. She had a brother, her father had found a new house with his new family, her mother was moving her in with her boyfriend, and she was expecting another sibling. This was not how family was supposed to work. Families were supposed to stick together, not break apart. Addison's mother wanted a fresh start. She even called Addison's father and asked him to take her back. He didn't want to. Addison realized that no one wanted her.

After her mother gave her the news, she got paged to the hospital. Addison was left home alone, to stew in her own anger. So far, Addison had gone out of her way to do things her mother would hate. The long, beautiful red hair that her mother loved so deeply had been cut into a black, short bob. She used the money she was supposed to use for pizza that night to buy the dye. She'd thrown out half of the pretty clothes that her mother bought her, and the things that she kept were given artistic rips, or dyed dark with the fabric dye that Addison found. Now, there was not too much to destroy. Nothing else besides herself.

She looked at the clock. It was ten to six. Her mother was not going to be home until late. Addison ran down into her mother's wine cellar and she looked through the extensive collection of fine wines. She grabbed a bottle of vodka that her mother had hidden, and made sure to throw a few expensive bottles of wine at the wall before leaving. The clear liquid burned all the way down her throat, but it didn't bother Addison. It actually felt...good. She took another swig, and continued on her destructive rampage.

**

"I'll just text her once, please?" Derek asked his mother. All of the Sheppard's cell phones were confiscated while they were on vacation. It had only been a day, but Derek missed Addison so much.

"Derek, stop. I know you miss her. I know she is very important to you, but it is family time." His mother said for the thousandth time.

"I will not ask you again if you just let me call her! Please, I am begging you."

"I've never seen you like this about a girl." She laughed. "But no Derek. It's only the first day. You can call her on Thursday, that will be the fourth day, so it's like you're calling her right in the middle." She said, and Derek hugged his mother.

"Derek!" Meredith yelled from outside the cottage. "Kathy's got the boat on, you said you wanted to go water skiing. Hurry up or we will leave without you." Without hesitation, Derek bolted out of the cottage. Water skiing was his favourite cottage activity. He gave up on calling Addison. His mother would never budge, and he should be happy that she bent the rules enough so he could call her at all. Sadly, that might have been just what Addison needed.

**

"Hey! This is Derek. I obviously am not here, so leave me a message." Addison hung up the phone when she realized that Derek's phone was still off. She just wanted to talk to him. Maybe he would understand. Or would he? She thought. He turned me down. I was ready...willing. He turned me down flat! He doesn't want me at all. He was just like everyone else. I was just there. She made up her mind that no one, not even Derek Sheppard cared about her. No one wanted her. She had no real girl friends, except Meredith. But she doesn't really like me. I'm just there. The only guys she really talked to were Derek and Mark. But Derek doesn't really care about me, and Mark...he just wants to sleep with me and then be done with it. In that moment, Addison knew she was totally alone.

She drank the last drops of vodka and turned the music louder. In her drunken, depressed state, Addison stumbled to the kitchen and grabbed what she was looking for. It was time. Fifteen years of being alone and unwanted was enough. She took the knife that she now had in her hands, and brought it closer to her wrist. She was trembling. Suddenly she heard the door creak open. Her mother was home. She knew she had to act fast. She brought the knife across her thin, pale wrist. She barely felt a thing. Addison brought the knife against her other wrist. Before she blacked out, she heard a scream. A scream, then nothing. Darkness.

**

"Addison?" She heard her mother's voice. Addison groaned, realizing that she was waking up. This was the exact opposite of what she was hoping for.

"She's waking up!" She heard her father's voice too. Great, she thought.

"Oh, Addison! I thought you were dead. What the hell were you thinking?" Her mother asked.

"Can you leave me alone please?!" She snapped angrly at her parents.

"Addison!" Her father snapped back.

"Just get out! I obviously don't want to be here. Why did you save me? Just leave." She yelled.

"Addison," Maddie began, "the doctors want to do a psycological evaluation."

"Oh, I get it. Nobody wants me. I try to do you all a god damned favour. Now you call me CRAZY." Addison said. "Just get out." With that, her parents left the room. Addison made it clear that she was not even remotly intrested in being around them. Suddenly, the door opened agin, this time, Derek entered.

"What the hell are you doing here?" She snapped.

"What happened to you?" He whispered.

"I thought you were on your vacation."

"Your parents called my mom. Your dad picked me up so I could come and see you."

"Why would you want to do that?" She growled.

"What? What do you mean? Why wouldn't I want to do that?"

"You don't care about me." She said bleakly.

"What?! Yes I do!" Derek said.

"No, you made it clear the other night." She said.

"When I wouldn't have sex with you? That's why you did all of this?" He asked, gesturing to her hair and wrists.

"No. Not all of this. Derek, don't pretend you can't tell. Nobody wants me. My parents keep trying to give me up. They don't want me. You don't want me." She sighed.

"Addison, screw your parents. If they don't want you, they don't know what they're missing. And I do want you. I wouldn't have sex with you because I want our first time to mean something. Not just because you were sad." He said. Addison didn't know what to say.

"My mom wants to move." She said.

"Your dad told me. She said that she might not want to move in with what's his name after this. Talking works too you know." Derek joked.

"This isn't funny. My parent's think I'm crazy."

"I think you're just sick." Derek said blankly.

"What the hell do you mean by that?" Addison snapped.

"You have so much to live for Addison. Even if you can't see it, there are people that care about you. You're beautiful, smart and talented. You were so willing to throw everything away. I don't think you're crazy. I think you have depression."

"So, yes, I'm crazy." Addison sighed.

"No, you're sick. And you're going to get better. We'll get through this." Derek said, taking Addison's hand in his.

"We?" She asked hopefully.

"We." He responded.