Author's Note: I'm basing this off of how high school worked back in my day, haha. Unfortunately, that includes the way in which we were informed of a student's passing, as well as the procedures my school took in those times. It's kind of funny...well not funny, but as I wrote this I remembered that my homeroom teacher in all four years of high school was Mr. Berry. Weird, huh? Also, I am not Jewish so I based the funeral and whatnot off of the research I did online. If anything is inaccurate, please let me know and I will fix it ASAP. Also, I believe the names of Puck's mom and Rachel's dads are all unknown, correct? I went along with what everyone seems to dub Rachel's dads, but made up my own for Puck's mom. Details in the Fabric is the amazing and beautiful work of Jason Mraz.
I just wanted to say thank you so, so much for all of the reviews and alerts. My other Glee story And Then She Cried got few reviews and not nearly this many hits so I was a little hesitant about putting something else up. I'm very grateful for the response to this one, it meant a lot.
Details in the Fabric
The hustle and bustle of the hallways at school was a shock to the Glee club the next morning. They expected quiet, solemn students to be joining them in mourning a member of the McKinley High student body. That is not what they were greeted with as they walked sluggishly into the building. They slowly met up with their respective groups, and then headed to their appropriate homerooms as the first warning bell rang.
Artie and Tina entered their homeroom, and for the first time in weeks immediately took their places next to each other. Tina offered Artie a half-hearted, tearful smile and he gently took her hand in his as their teacher stood in the front of the room, a piece of paper in her hand. She took the required roll call and then began.
"As some of you may have heard by now, we have tragically lost a member of our school over the weekend. In order to avoid any rumors spreading, Mr. Figgins has asked the faculty to read the following announcement." She cleared her throat, shocked at how much she was affected by the loss of the most annoying student in her homeroom, and then she went on. "On Saturday morning, Rachel Berry, a sophomore here at McKinley High and a member of this very homeroom, was involved in a terrible car accident. She was most commonly known for her contributions to the Glee club, as well as her work in many other groups, clubs, and activities here. She was a straight A student with excellent attendance. She succumbed to her internal injuries in the hospital yesterday afternoon after never regaining consciousness. Arrangements have been made so that grief counselors are available to whoever feels they need to speak to someone, as well as the guidance counselors you all know already. There will be an assembly tomorrow to honor her memory during the B block of the day. Funeral arrangements will be announced at that time, for those of you who wish to pay your respects. You all may talk quietly for the rest of homeroom; it has been extended for 15 minutes."
Mrs. Baer went back to her desk and listlessly attempted to get her papers in order. She kept an eye on the kids, but she kept focusing on that one empty seat, the one directly in the center of the front row. Rachel was annoying. Yet in all of her 30 years of teaching English at McKinley, Anita Baer had never seen someone with so much promise. She was tiny and loud, as annoying as a mosquito in August, but that girl had the drive to succeed. It was so sad that she had been taken from this Earth before her time to shine. Just as she was about to pat a tissue to her own tear filled eyes, the sound of a sob caused her to raise her eyes in alarm. She instantly focused on Tina, and her heart pulled at the site of the girl crumpled against Artie, her body shaking as she tried to hold in another sob. She watched as Artie patted her back and whispered into Tina's ear through his own tears. She took a deep breath to calm herself and grabbed her tissues as she made her way over to the two mourning teenagers as the rest of the class sat in awkward silence, not understanding their grief. She knelt in front of them, and held out the tissues.
"You two are free to go, but please, if you need anything...please let me know," she said softly. Nodding, they gathered their things and quickly exited the room, glad to be free of the curious stares of their classmates.
As they walked aimlessly, subconsciously heading towards the music room, they were slowly joined by the rest of the gleeks. A few eyes were red rimmed, and Brittany and Tina were still sniffling, but it was quiet and comforting. No one said a word. As they walked through the hallway, they eventually came to Rachel's locker and they all stopped in shock. Someone had thrown a slushie at it. In fact, it looked like more than one someone. Quinn brought a hand to her mouth in horror, and quickly turned and ran down the hall.
"Who could have..." Kurt's voice trailed off as there was a loud bang as Puck slammed his knuckles into the adjoining locker.
"What the fuck," he growled. The bell signaling the end of homeroom rang and students began to pour from the hallway. Within seconds, Karofsky and his group of minions appeared in the hallway, snickering at the mess covering the locker. Without warning, all hell broke loose. Fists flew; grunts and groans of pain were heard. Swears and insults rang out as Finn, Puck, Matt, and Mike attacked the bullies in rage. Eventually Mr. Schuester and Coach Tenaka came and pulled the boys apart. Will took note of the slushie marking the locker and the puddle on the floor and immediately knew what had happened.
"Where is your respect?" Puck burst out. Karofsky merely laughed at the red faced, tear filled "jock" that he used to be afraid of.
"She died, man. She's DEAD," Finn yelled. "And you think it's alright to throw a slushie at her locker? What kind of person are you?"
Karofsky's grin finally faltered. He started to sputter as he took in the faces of the kids of the Glee club, the red eyes of Mr. Schuester and Ms. Pillsburry, who had walked up to the scene a moment earlier. There was shock and disgust in the eyes of the bystanders surrounding them.
"I...I didn't know," he said, shame coloring his words.
"How could you not know, Karofsky?" Santana sneered. "It was announced in all of the homerooms just minutes ago."
"I just got here...the slushie was the first thing I did..." his cheeks were tinged with red, and he rubbed his hands over his face, trying to get his bearings, but only succeeding in smearing the blood from his nose up to his eye. "I swear...I know I'm an asshole but...I didn't know," he pleaded. Mr Schuester finally nodded and Coach Tenaka released his hold on his arm.
"Let's go, all of you boys," he ordered.
As the boys filed away from the crowd of students, Quinn reappeared with a bucket in hand. Without a word, the Glee members reached for the rags and sponges she offered them and began to scrub off the slushie that was beginning to dry on the metal door. They glanced at each other in shock as a couple of Cheerios stepped in and began plastering Rachel's locker with star stickers that they had stolen out of Ms. Sylvester's office.
Sue Sylvester walked down the hallway during the next period and immediately spotted the locker that had once belonged to Rachel Berry. A couple of students stood in front of it, signing the door and placing flowers at the base of it. When she saw her stickers, she simply placed her hand against the cool metal for a brief moment. Ignoring the few students who stopped to watch her pay her respects, she walked away.
-G-
In the afternoon, the glee kids had gotten their lunches and then settled into the practice room, embracing the privacy and solidarity it provided. Many had been approached throughout the day with kind words from both students and teachers, but it was too little too late in their opinions. Just as they themselves were too little too late for Rachel as well. Mr. Schuester eventually found them and he pulled up a chair for himself and Ms. Pillsbury as everyone began to silently chew.
"Hey Puck," Kurt called out thoughtfully, "What happens next?"
Turning weary eyes away from Finn, he quirked an eyebrow.
"How the fuck am I supposed to know, Hummel? I've never known anyone that died before. You try to get over it," Puck replied, causing the gleeks to gape at his honesty.
"Well, it's just that you're Jewish. And Rachel is...was," Mercedes supplied for Kurt. "I don't think any of us know what to expect. We don't know what to do. What do we say to her fathers?"
"Oh," Puck replied dumbly. He ran a hand over his mohawk and put his can of soda down. He may not give two shits about being Jewish but his Ma taught him well, and he knew it had been a large part of Rachel's upbringing. "Well, it's not like a normal funeral. We don't do flowers and shit. There won't be a wake. The Hevra Kadisha will take care of the ceremony and stuff with the Berry's. They like...supervise everything to make sure that Rachel's, " he swallowed hard, "to make sure her body is treated with respect. She has to be dressed in a tachrichim, which is just white cloth I guess. She'll be in a casket."
Puck realized that everyone was staring at him attentively, with looks of interest mixed in with the sadness over the fact that they were learning about the process of burying someone they now knew was very near and dear to their hearts. He took a sip of his soda and continued.
"Before the funeral service, her dads will participate in the rite of K'riah, which means they will tear a part of their clothes that you can see, probably a pocket right over their heart. Anyone else in Rachel's family will tear their clothes on the right. They'll wear it through the entire shivah."
"I've heard of that," Matt chimed in. "That's the mourning period, right?" Puck nodded.
"It lasts for 7 days. Sometimes...sometimes the mourners wear a black ribbon instead." He quietly added, as he fingered the black ribbon currently wrapped around his right wrist. Quinn's eyes filled with tears as she noticed the ragged rips in each end of the ribbon.
"Would it be okay if we wore ribbons too?" She asked quietly. "I know we didn't act like it before but now...I feel like I've lost part of my family," she choked out. Brittany put her arm around Quinn's shoulders and pulled her close, gently rubbing her shoulder.
"I think her parent's would really like that," Puck said.
Later that day, Puck approached each member of the Glee club with black ribbon, and he helped them tie it to their wrists and tear the edges the way he had. He later noted, as he caught sight of them throughout the remainder of the day, that they all wore them like a badge of honor. He knew Rachel would have been proud.
-G-
Mr. Figgins looked up from his paperwork when he heard a sniffle at his door. It was well passed school hours and he was surprised to see the sad and somber faces of Mercedes and Tina, who stood expectantly in the door frame.
"Girls," he said softly, laying his pen down, "Please, come in. I am so sorry for your loss. I know Glee club was full of Rachel's closest friends." He didn't notice the girls flinch at his words. "How may I help you?"
Taking a seat, Mercedes tried to compose herself but felt her chin quivering, so she motioned for Tina to speak.
"Mr Figgins, I know that there will be an assembly for Rachel tomorrow. I'm sure it's no surprise that we'd like to dedicate a song to her. We would really like it if we could do a special performance at the end."
He smiled at the girls warmly, "I couldn't think of anything Rachel would like more."
-G-
Puck adjusted his collar as he followed his mom up the walkway to the Berry household that night. He reached out as his mom turned to hand him the piping hot dish full of food. She knocked rapidly on the door and took a step back and fixed his kippah quickly before the door opened.
"Anne," one of Rachel's dads greeted them with a small smile. He nodded at Puck in recognition of his brief relationship with Rachel. "Please, come on in."
Puck followed awkwardly into the house and held out the dish once they were all situated in the foyer.
"Noah, manners!" His mom scolded, taking the dish and turning towards the kitchen.
"Leroy, I've made you some milchige luchshen kugel, it's an old family recipe. And there are some latkes just because...well, who doesn't like latkes, right?" She smiled warmly at him as he took the dish from her and placed it into the refrigerator.
"Thank you Anne, that is very kind. I don't think Hiram or I have eaten since...well I'm just not even sure the last meal I had," he admitted. Anne walked over to him and pulled him into a warm embrace.
"I am so, so sorry for your loss," she whispered.
Puck looked everywhere but at the grieving man hugging his mom and eventually decided to sneak out of the kitchen. He soon found himself in Rachel's bedroom. He inhaled deeply as he quietly stepped inside, and pushed the door shut behind him. He walked over to her bed and sat down, his fingers running over the lace detail on her duvet. Her room was a mess. Her bed wasn't even made, there were clothes thrown on top of every available surface of her room. Mr. Schuester was right. She had been rushing to make it to meet them. He had never seen her room look like this before. He wiped at his eyes until they didn't burn any more, and then he stood and slowly walked around her room. When he came to her desk, he stopped abruptly. Sitting next to her computer was an old slushie cup. The cup he had handed to her when he asked if she wanted to work on mash up ideas. He knew it was the same cup because there was a tiny crack at the very top because he had been gripping it so tightly. Rachel had written 'Rachel and Noah' surrounded by hearts along the lip of the cup. It was filled with loose change and random pens and pencils that he quickly dumped onto the desk. He held the cup in his hands, staring.
She had broken up with him weeks ago, but she had kept the stupid slushie cup. He slumped into her desk chair heavily and leaned forward, one elbow resting on his knees, his hand supporting his chin. He stared at the cup lost in thought until he heard someone clear their throat. He looked up, startled, and saw Rachel's other dad standing in the doorway. He realized, to his embarrassment, that there were tears spilling down his cheeks. He turned away from him and tried to surreptitiously wipe the tear tracks from his face. He saw Hiram's eyes land on the ribbon around his wrist, and he lowered his gaze, his heart pounding heavily in his chest.
"Come on, son," Hiram said quietly, "Let's go have some kugal."
Puck stood and turned to put the cup back down on the desk but Hiram stopped him.
"Keep it," he said softly. "And here," he entered the room and rifled in Rachel's top drawer for a minute before pulling out a picture of the two of them, taken at the only Berry -Puckerman family dinner they had had before Rachel ended things.
The two men left the room, shutting the door softly behind them.
-G-
Kind words were said about Rachel the next day. Various teachers spoke, Mr. Schuester included, and Mr. Figgins spoke a few words as well. As the assembly came to a close, the Glee kids rose from their seats and climbed the stairs onto the auditorium stage. The lights were dimmed and 11 stools were brought out for the kids to sit on. Everyone sat except for Finn, who stood and looked out at the students filling the auditorium.
"Rachel was a better person than any of you could ever hope to be," he started, causing Mr. Schuester to jump up from his seat in alarm. "But no matter how much you all tried to bring her down, she knew who she was and she knew what she deserved. So we dedicate this song to her, and to everything she would have been. We miss you more than you know, Rach." He took a step back and sat, the music beginning to fill the room as Puck strummed his guitar, and began to sing.
Calm down
Deep breaths
And get yourself dressed instead
Of running around
And pulling on your threads and
Breaking yourself up
If it's a broken part, replace it
If it's a broken arm then brace it
If it's a broken heart then face it
Their voices came together as they all joined in for the chorus.
And hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way
Hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way
And everything will be fine
Puck and Kurt sang, the rough and the smooth sound of their voices blending together.
Hang on
Help is on the way
Stay strong
I'm doing everything
Hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way
Hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way
And everything
Everything will be fine
Everything
The girl's took the next round, their voices thick with emotion.
Are the details in the fabric
Are the things that make you panic
Are your thoughts results of static cling
Are the things that make you blow
Hell, no reason, go on and scream
If you're shocked it's just the fault
Of faulty manufacturing
Everything will be fine
Everything in no time at all
Everything
Hold your own
Know your name
Go your own way
The girl's voices echoed softly in the background as the boys finished with the final few verses.
Are the details in the fabric (Hold your own, know your name)
Are the things that make you panic
Are your thoughts results of static cling (Go your own way)
Are the details in the fabric (Hold your own, know your name)
Are the things that make you panic (Go your own way)
Is it Mother Nature's sewing machine
Are the things that make you blow (Hold your own, know your name)
Hell no reason go on and scream
If you're shocked it's just the fault (Go your own way)
Of faulty manufacturing
Everything will be fine
Everything in no time at all
Hearts will hold
Without waiting for a response, the Glee club rose from their seats and exited the auditorium. The applause that broke out seconds after they left was near deafening.
-G-
Late that afternoon, family and friends of Rachel Berry gathered at the synagogue that she and her family belonged too. Everyone took their seats and listened as the Rabbi led them in the chanting of psalms and Eyl Malei Rahamim. There was a hesped to honor Rachel, and at the end of the service her fathers stood and called forward the young men that they had visited in person the day before.
Mr. Schuester had been nothing if not shocked when he saw Rachel's fathers standing in the doorway of his office the previous afternoon. When they had asked if he'd be willing to act as a pallbearer for their daughter, he was honored and moved to tears. The boys of the Glee club reacted in much the same way.
As Will, Finn, Puck, Matt, Mike, and Kurt stood and walked to the casket, Rachel's father began to sob. Slowly, more and more eyes filled with tears as they listened to the grief of a heartbroken man. The pall was placed over Rachel's casket, and they then gently lifted it and started to walk down the aisle. Anne's heart clenched at the sight of her son doing his best to be a man, pulling himself to his full height as his hand gripped the handle of the casket. She could see the disconnected look in his eyes, the way his chest heaved as he forced himself to breath in and out. It was when his eyes met hers for the briefest second that her tears spilled down her cheeks. Her son's heart was shattered into a million pieces and she had no idea how she was going to fix it.
As the casket passed down the aisle, the attendants of the funeral filed out of their rows and followed the path that the pallbearers took. Along the way, the walk stopped the required seven times on their journey to grave site. Keeping in tradition, the casket was soon lowered into the earth and the grave filled, until a mound was formed over the casket. The Kaddish was recited at the grave after k'vurah was completed. There were a few minutes of silence as the mourners took in the sight of Rachel's final resting place. Slowly, they began to form two rows, and then Leroy and Hiram led the rest of the family, Glee club included, through aisle to receive the condolences of the other attendants.
And then it was over. Rachel Berry was gone.
-G-
It had been three weeks since Rachel had passed away. Things were slowly getting back to normal. The flowers and stuffed animals under Rachel's locker had been given to her family, but the stickers remained. Not a single person had been slushied since news of Rachel's death had come out. The Glee club was closer than ever, and they still met for rehearsals as they did before. However, not a single note had been sung since the assembly. As the gleeks sat around, some doing homework, some gossiping, some staring off into space, Mr. Schuester cleared his throat.
"Does anyone feel like practicing today?" He asked tentatively. Everyone stayed silent, avoiding his gaze. He sighed, relieved, as he sat down and resumed grading papers. He didn't want to practice either.
Puck toyed with the ribbon around his wrist. It was slightly frayed now, but it wasn't going anywhere. He didn't plan on letting it go anytime soon, either.
"It's just not the same. Rachel is gone. She was our talent and our drive and our reason to be better. She was our reason to be anything at all. Even if we hated it and we didn't give her the credit for it, she was this club. What's the point? Even if she wasn't the only real talent that we had, none of us care anymore. None of us care about Regionals or beating Vocal Adrenaline or any of it. I just want her back," he finished weakly. He rubbed his eyes and stood up, avoiding the gaze of everyone else.
"It's time to stop fooling ourselves," Artie agreed.
"I think Glee club is over, Mr. Schue," With one last glance at everyone, Puck left the room.
No one had the heart to disagree with him. He was right.
Author's Note 2: Hope you enjoyed! Well, I'm sure I made a few people cry, so sorry for that, but I hope it was worth it! Thanks for reading, let me know what you think!
WARNING: The final chapter is an ALTERNATE ENDING. It may or may not take away from the impact of the first two chapters if you do NOT enjoy a happy ending. BE WARNED!