Heyyys!
URRGGHH! I'm arguing, with none other than my stupid self. I'm a stupid person with an inability to shorten chapters. It's ridiculous I tell you, simply ridiculous. I tried to end it at around 8,000 words and then BAM more words got typed up… *grunts* so yeah. If you hate long chapters: SORRY. I can't help it :p
…I'm upset really. Because of the news of Daddy's Little Cannibal's death. I didn't know her personally, but her stories were amazing. So yeah, that came as a shock really. Sorry for the late update; really I am… Oh, and on the subject of death (that was not meant to sound at all humorous, sorry :s) I'm dedicating this chapter to anyone who has lost someone important. For three reasons:
1). Jade Lyssy Swan; who dedicated her entire fantabulous story to her father who passed away…
2). DandylionWishes; who had a malteaser loving cat that got put down recently.
3). Rin03 had a goldfish. It died too.
I can't deal with death. I'm dreadful, my sister's guinea pig (who used to bite me) died years ago… I cried for weeks. Literally weeks, despite the fact that the guinea pig was kinda scary with its red eyes and on several occasions drew blood when it bit me. (…mhhmm definitely a vampire style creature) I couldn't stop crying when it just died. So yeah. This chapter is dedicated to anyone who had to deal with stuff like that.
On a happier note: 714 reviews?! WOW! Thanks another herd of apologetic nelephants (and yes, in regards to a PM, they are doing fine on their chartable deeds in Africa) I LOVE my reviewers! They're the best. Every chapter I get long reviews from people! So yup. THANKS! You're all made of fantabulous-ness! Jam packed with the stuff. So, I was wondering.. do you think by the end of this story we could get to a flippin' massive 1,000 reviews?! Huh? ...no? Ah well, I'll dream :)
As I said. I'm angry at myself and if I continue to argue to seemingly no one, then my family are going to become concerned all over again. My mum is now very wary when she sees me alone with Mouse, no doubt wondering whether I'm going to give her more ethical lessons… perhaps on the issue of prejudice to other cats.
So yeah. Short babble huh? Don't be relieved just yet… I do my usual thing at the bottom… *sigh*
What Happened Last Chapter:
I was nothing short of terrified.
"What Alice? What's wrong? What do you see?" My questions were frantic. As were my thoughts.
She looked at me, the vision had subsided. But her trembling hadn't.
"What?" My voice was thick, I felt sick again. "Alice - please, tell me."
I saw her mouth move, and saw her words rather than heard them.
Everything was crashing around at the silent words.
"It's your father."
***
The Foreshadowing Furore.
My head was spinning. Oxygen was rapidly leaving my lungs as I felt the gasps surpass me. I could feel my voice rising with each syllable.
"What? What do you mean? What happened? What did you see? Is he okay? Will he be okay?" Questions continued to pour out from my lips, each frenzied. My voice was rising higher still, now on the verge of hysteria. Alice seemed to snap out of her vision completely as she looked at me; her expression lost.
That did nothing to help my current state of utter panic.
"Alice?" I repeated in a mantra, I felt dizzy. The room wasn shaking. A wave of serenity crashed around me. But I fought it. I could tell it was synthetic, fake. My emotions were now battling inside me; my thoughts were no more then incoherent screams. "Dad…" I croaked.
Jasper came into view, turning to stare at Alice and gripping her hand. I stared at them both, scared and confused and annoyingly calm. I turned my stare into a glower when I looked to Jasper.
"It's okay Lucie-" Alice began quickly, but I could detect uncertainty in the wind chime trill.
"Nothing is okay!" I wanted to shout. I wanted to race home. But I couldn't. The room was shaking again and I had little breath, my words came out quiet.
"Your father's fine." Alice assured me, "He, it's just - I had a vision, and it was confusing. Your father was there… and he was talking to someone, and just as quickly, it dissolved and suddenly you were there, only you were standing with Bella. And Bella was shouting at you to run to find your father, and then well you started to scream at me and I was still partially in the vision, but I knew you were in the hallway as well. So I said it's your father because that was all I could think of when both visions included a mention of him." Alice said fluidly, Jasper's expression was a mask I couldn't decipher. "And now you're ghostly pale and look like your going to faint because of your stupid imagination!" She concluded.
"H-he's okay?" I whispered.
"He's fine, I promise."
I let out a sigh of relief, dispelling the last of my oxygen supply. The room decided to turn upside down. That was odd.
"Whoa, steady there." A cool arm supported me; I looked into Carlisle's butterscotch eyes. He frowned as his eyes assessed my health status. "We need to get some sugar in you." He remarked lightly, I nodded dully. I didn't know how to express my need for checking on my father. Alice's explanation had eased some of the panic, but the rest had remained. Mainly because of Jasper's look, it was anxious. I heard something else that Carlisle said, though I wasn't sure if I was supposed to.
"…don't give her such a shock Alice, fainting is not another thing we need to add to her list of problems."
"Problems?" I piqued, "What problems?"
"Nothing Lucie," Carlisle sighed as he took me into the gigantic kitchen, "I'm just worried for your health. You didn't sleep last night, did you?" I stared at him in horror.
"How did you know?" I breathed. Did I really look that awful?
He seemed to sense my worry; maybe my accelerating heart gave me away.
"It's okay Lucie, only a trained medic would realise the symptoms. Just make sure you have some caffeine in you. It's a shame we don't have bananas…" he trailed off frowning. I stared at him.
"Bananas?" I questioned.
He smiled warmly at my bemusement, "They're a good source of potassium, a high percentage in fact, I think it contains about 602 mg per average banana. But anyway, potassium cures dehydration, which is almost certainly the cause for all your recent fainting escapades." I don't think I'd describe the experience of fainting as an escapade, or any sort of adventure for that matter. And I was slightly confused at why having bananas was so essential. But hey, it was Carlisle, he was a 300 something vampire, and I wasn't about to doubt his knowledge on the properties of bananas.
"I'm still perplexed at why Alice is insisting you go to school." He mused to himself after a pause.
"Alice insisted this?" I asked curiously as Carlisle began making coffee. Finally resigning in a sad tone that there were no bananas available.
"Yes, it was odd. She seemed adamant about it when Edward questioned her. She seems to be blocking some thoughts from him," Carlisle chuckled, he seemed amused by the thought, "and Edward's cross about it. He hates not being able to find an insight to other's heads."
"That's why he hates me," The thought slipped through my lips bitterly. Carlisle frowned but didn't say anything as he handed over the coffee. I took one look at it, and gulped the substance down, the smell made me feel sick, and it was hot enough to scald my throat slightly. But it did the trick; I did feel more awake now.
"Edward doesn't hate you Lucie," Carlisle said after a silence. I just nodded, not bothering to protest. Maybe he didn't know that Edward had just thrown me into a wall. "And I think he wants to prove it…" I heard Carlisle mutter under his breath. I turned.
And there in the doorway - running a snowy hand through his tousled bronze hair - was Edward Cullen.
"Lucie, can I talk with you?"
***
"I don't understand you Lucie. I cannot imagine what you're thinking. And I can't understand your actions. And I seriously do not understand why you hate me."
I'd followed him into the hallway, being polite and succumbing to his request. And this was how he treated me. No hello. No hi. Just: I don't understand you Lucie. Nice. I frowned at his words and averted the fact that I didn't hate him. Because if he assumed I hated him, then maybe I would. Hell, I wanted to hate him. But I couldn't. Because when he stood like that, carelessly running his slender fingers through his hair in aggravation and golden eyes smouldering, hate was not the first emotion that popped into mind.
"Maybe it has something to do with, oh I don't know, you hurtling me into a wall perhaps?" I resorted icily. He had the grace to look ashamed. But my victory was short lived. Pain underlined his expression, and his topaz eyes seemed to darken.
"I'm sorry. I will never hurt you again." He whispered.
"I'm not hurt." I said indignantly. "And I've heard you say that before."
"Yeah, well I mean it this time." He took a step closer.
No. No way was he going to make me feel dizzy again.
"I-I better find Alice…" I squirmed away from him. He raised a hand, as if ready to pull me back. But let it fall, limp at his side. The look in his eyes was dejected. I tired to walk away from him, but my feet had other ideas. They were numb. I just stood there, torn between two emotions.
Wanting to run, and wanting never to leave.
Pretty flipping opposite, huh?
Edward looked up at me; his lashes looked more prominent in the dawn light. Like fine lines of ink framing the golden depths. He moved to me, no longer at a human pace, moving hair out of my eyes.
"You don't realise what I mean," He said earnestly, yet unable to mask the aggravation in his tone. He was frustrated at me, as I was with him. "I am so sorry Lucie. I never meant that to happen."
"It doesn't matter." I mumbled.
"Then why won't you look at me?" His voice was low.
"Not everyone wants to look at you, Edward." I muttered coldly. Lie.
"Please Lucie," I frowned, looked into his face and sighed. He did look sorry. But I couldn't let the trivial emotions surge through me again. The same emotions that would take control and eradicate any hope of rationality. I looked at him; but not properly. Instead I concentrated on the texture of his ivory skin.
And not once did I look his eyes.
I could tell he was about to speak again. So I stood up attempted to reach his height. That was impossible seeing as there was about a foot between us. So in the end I just sighed and whispered to him coldly, again, averting my gaze from his. Because I knew the depiction in my eyes would give me away.
"I don't need apologies Edward; I'm perfectly fine." A familiar burning sensation appeared behind my eyes. I felt like screaming. Only a day before I'd had complete control as such a trivial act like crying. And yet now I felt like bursting into tears every few minutes.
I walked towards the door, hoping to find Alice. My fake words rang in my ears: I'm perfectly fine. I had to get out. My lie was obvious. I was along way from being fine. But I didn't care. It didn't matter. I didn't matter.
I scarped from the room. Because I knew he mattered to me, more than this world.
And it terrified me.
***
"You look like crap Lucie." Alice noted somberly.
Wow. Thanks for the self confidence boost Alice! I just shrugged; I couldn't care less. I felt like it too, but I wasn't going to inform them of that anytime soon, not with Carlisle in the house. I wouldn't put it past him to put me on medication. I didn't feel like crying anymore. A dull hollow sensation was forming inside my chest. I'd found Alice in the kitchen.
I must have been grimacing because I heard Emmett's voice beside my ear. I was glad for that; his distractions were the best cure to how I was currently feeling. Which was not very good. So I listened to his tone intently, it was oddly formal and posh. I felt like snorting at the absurdity of it.
"Please excuse my sister Alice's vulgar language. You rather dashing if I do say so myself." I released the snort as turned to him. The snort really didn't match his formal tone.
"Rather dashing?" I questioned with a smirk, "isn't that what Victorian women said to their husbands? Emmett, are you implying that I look like a man?!" I let out a gasp of mock horror. Emmett winked before disappearing from sight, but not before his expression became utterly serious and he sent a low whisper to me. "Don't give in Luce; she just wants to give you a makeover. The pixie has nasty hobbies, and she has crafty ways to enforce them. Be on your guard." I couldn't help laugh slightly at his hushed whispers. It sounded like I was being given top secret orders.
I carefully sat on one of the kitchen stools, the brief happiness quickly evaporating; instead I was now grimacing at the thought of what lay ahead: school. I saw Jasper kiss Alice lightly on the forehead as he told her something too low in his brass voice for me to hear. She frowned at what it was and leaned on tiptoes to kiss him back. I looked away, I felt like I was intruding, so I began eating the soft cookie Esme had made. She'd practically fawned over me when I said I would like something to eat. Serving up a vast selection of breakfast foods. I'd told her in all honesty that I'd like some cookies. I'd always been a sweet tooth. And judging by her ability to make simply gorgeous muffins, I predicted that her cookie-making skills wouldn't be too bad either. It was packed with sugar. I needed that. The coffee previously still tasted bitter in my mouth though. It took me a slow second to realise that Alice was talking to me. Chirping in her high soprano.
"Hmm?" Was my intelligent response. I didn't sound nearly as sleepy as I felt; that had to be a good thing.
"Lucie, I've got some clothes for you-" Alice was cut short. Wow, were my grimaces really that good? But when I heard the soft growl from behind me I realised that it was not in fact, my oh-so-scary-grimace that had cut Alice off. Well, that was a disappointment. I turned around slowly, full well knowing who stood behind me. God, I could even recognise his growl. There was definitely something wrong with me.
"Alice, I highly doubt that this is on Luciana's list of priorities, leave her alone for-"
"It's fine." I snapped at him coldly, protecting Alice. He didn't seem to understand that calling me 'Luciana' seriously deflated my temperate towards him. I turned to Alice as means if a distraction, and smiled slightly at her look. She beamed at me and stuck her tongue out at Edward.
"Good!" She trilled happily, "I've got this simply brilliant skirt-"
"No." I said stubbornly. I was already starting to regret my words. "No skirts."
I heard a chuckle from behind me and scowled. Alice merely pouted.
"Fine…" She trailed off, "but you should finish that first." I nodded and continued to eat the cookie. I was hungrier than I realised, my stomach felt full but I didn't care. It had probably shrunk anyway since I hadn't eaten much. And wow, Esme could cook!
I suddenly realised Rosalie was in the room, her laughter was a small musical harmony, not as high as Alice's, but just as beautiful. Her hair matched the colour of her eyes and I felt my self esteem shatter and my ego plummeted. I really did not want to think of how I looked next to her. Bu it was hard not to make comparisons to her beauty and my… austerity. She was perched elegantly on the window seat. Emmett climbed through another window, I frowned. The Cullens were officially ridiculous when it came to using doors. The situation was getting out of hand.
"What're you doing baby?" Emmett asked Rosalie, who was staring off into the trees, with an expression I couldn't decipher. She broke out of this though at Emmett's words and frowned slightly at the disturbance. Her full lips twisted upwards slightly from a petulant pout to a coy smile.
"Why, I was thinking up torrid fantasies revolving around that devilish Mike Newton of course." Rosalie sang, giving a flick of her hair. Her chiming voice not without a hint of innuendo.
Emmett's expression was priceless.
"What?!" Emmett exclaimed, a frown appearing on his smooth forehead as he glared at Rosalie in shock.
"Mike, you know," Rosalie replied dreamily, sending a surreptitious wink mine and Alice's way. I heard Alice giggle quietly beside me, "that simply divine human hunk really… I think I'm growing rather fond of him. Perhaps we could incorporate him into our family. I know he can't resist my charms." She drawled off in a seductive purr. Even I was chuckling now. Emmett still looked worried at Rosalie, not realising the joke.
"No. Definitely not." Remarked someone other than Emmett, his tone dark. "There is no way on earth that I'm staying on the same premises as Newton. His thoughts are deplorable." I turned to see Edward and rolled my eyes at him, momentarily forgetting that I was very cross with him. Trust Emmett's expression - still frozen in a state of horror - to make me forget something like that. Quickly, I averted my gaze back to the plate of cookies. But I could feel him staring at me, and I felt a blush flush my neck. Eventually, I really was full. Alice clapped her hands after I'd finished. I raised my eyebrows at her.
"You finished!" She trilled happily, "right, now we only have two hours before we've got to set off… it's hardly anytime to get you ready…"
I gaped at her. Two whole hours? Not enough time? Was Alice crazy?
She saw my expression and gave an angelic grin. I already knew the answer to my question.
Yes. Yes she was.
She let out an exasperated sigh as she raised her eyes to the ceiling, frowning at something. "Ugh, the shower's now working. Well, I suppose we've got enough time for you to have a bath, I could sponge-" I blanched, hastily cutting off her sentence.
"No Alice. I do not want a sponge bath." The laughter from behind me made me instantly regret the words. Damn. Edward was still in here? I turned round to have my suspicions confirmed. Emmett and Rosalie had left silently, leaving only Alice, Edward and I in the kitchen. Humiliation stained my cheeks a deep red. Alice was utterly unperturbed.
"Fine, you don't look too dirty. It's just you hair." She gave me an appraising look and frowned. "I better get started." Was it just me, or was her tone ominous?
She pulled me to my feet quickly. And I saw Edward's amused face, I was torn again between wanting to wipe the smirk away and pleading for help.
In the end, I settled with a grimace.
That morning passed unusually quickly. Alice had dressed me up in tight trousers and a black top. (She'd avoided lighter shades encase the fabric revealed the purple bruises on my arms.) For once I didn't mind her clothes that she'd picked out for me. Yeah, they were still far too figure hugging for my liking, but I was glad the colours weren't too bold. Hopefully, I'd go unnoticed.
I'd looked in the mirror when Alice had finished with me and instantly regretted it.
Dark circles marred the skin underneath my eyes, a give away at how much sleep I'd gotten. Alice had brushed my hair and left it loose at my request. I could hide behind it. The fairness of it contrasted with the dark top oddly. A faint gold in the darkness. I sighed slightly as I quickly hopped out the car; it was awkward carrying books without my bag. I'd misplaced it.
Mike was the first person I met when entering the school. Why? Because he collided into me. The Cullens had vanished off abruptly, and the thought irked me. I was suspicious of Alice's expression when we'd got out the car. But I couldn't ponder much longer on that thought because, well, I was currently spread eagled in the middle of the cold floor. With Mike on top of me.
Yeah. What a perfect way to start the day.
And sarcasm was heavily laced there.
"Oh God Lucie, I'm so sorry! Are you okay?"
I didn't reply to Mike. It wasn't like I was going to tell him that it was okay. Because it wasn't. My head ached and I felt drowsy again. The caffeine from before was slowly leaving my system and I regretted not having more coffee (enduring even that substance was better than this.) I was also scared. Irrational though it seemed, I was.
My father. The thought of him made me widen my eyes to prevent from crying. Alice had assured that he was okay. That he was safe. But the look on Alice's face when we'd left the car that morning told a different story. So I was scared, tired, and still cross at Edward. On the matter of Edward, I'd made a vow to myself. And personally, I thought it was a genius one.
I'd decided that I was going to avoid him. Resist succumbing to his looks. And definitely avoid close proximity.
So no Mike, overall. I wasn't okay. But the words left my lips despite my thoughts. After all, Mike was (probably…) a good person. I just didn't get to see that side of him often. Or maybe I was just too stubborn to realise it.
"It's okay Mike," Yes. I was going to have to lie a lot today, "really I'm fine-" I tried to stand up, but my words were cut short as I gasped slightly.
Next minute I was being lifted by Mike - he was too close for my liking - but it was the contact against my arm that made me gasp. The thin fabric did little to prevent his touch hurting me. It wasn't a gasp of pain though. The dull bruises that patterned my arms didn't hurt much. It was the shock. I managed to squirm away slightly, picking up my books that had haphazardly fell across the floor. I was lucky; I knew if he'd tightened his grip I would have done more than gasp.
I felt my cheeks flush in embarrassment as I registered the stares and felt little better then animals at the zoo (no, admittedly, I wasn't in a cage, but the gawking was spot on. I fought down the urge to act like a monkey. That wouldn't have added anything positive to my sanity case.) Mike was still gushing out apologies, but I barely heard him. Partially because I didn't really care, and partially because I heard a voice sound behind me.
The very voice that I craved and claimed to despise.
And vowed not to react to.
"I'll help you with that." Suddenly, it wasn't just me collecting the books. I stared at Edward, and typical to his character, he stared right back. Without a hint of restraint in his golden eyes. Mike ignored Edward's help, and took it as a sign to help me to my feet. Gentling lifting me from the floor once more.
"There," It took me a slow second to realise Mike was brushing strands of hair free from my shocked face. "All better." I stuttered, and Mike grinned.
And Edward's eyes blazed.
"I can take it from here, Newton." Edward's voice was sharp and cold. Even I - despite being in a rather slow sleep deprived state - could hear the underlying threat laced within his velvet tone.
"She's fine with me." Mike said firmly, pulling me closer.
"I've got her books." Edward's words were dark.
"And I've got her."
It was then that I realised, judging by their tone, that this was an argument. An argument coincidently, that I happened to be the cause of. I scowled at the thought. And glared at Edward. And really tried not to smack Mike at his words. The ignorant git. I blocked those thoughts. Mike was behaving better than Edward was at least. Stupid overprotective vampire.
"Yeah, you have got my books," I said through gritted teeth, keeping to the vow I'd made. "Can I have them back?" He smiled at me charmingly, and I scowled further. Hating the stupid butterfly sensation in my stomach at the look on his face and promptly staring at the books for means of a distraction. He was dazzling, and he knew it. I turned back to Mike again and forced on a smile.
Mike, being the idiot he was, took this as an achievement.
"I think she can go to History with me, Cullen."
Oh fudge. Now Mike was assuming the wrong things. I suddenly felt guilty for Edward, and internally groaned. Why was I feeling guilty? I should not be feeling guilty! Somehow, throughout this inner rant of mine, I was looking at Edward again. He looked furious.
"Keep your thoughts to yourself Newton."
And with that, Edward walked off, in what one only can be described as a grump.
Leaving me with Mike.
Fun.
***
It'll all be over soon. I chanted to myself for about the fifteenth time. My head no longer ached dully, it felt like it was going to split open. My tired eyes followed the clock as the second hand moved, mercilessly slowly, towards my reprieve. Each one tolled for what seemed like an eternity. I decided on giving up staring aimlessly at the clock; someone was bound to notice that I hadn't been paying attention to the entire History lesson.
My head was still buzzing from earlier, from Edward's reaction to Mike, and then Angela's horribly insightful words. She'd caught me before History started and gave me a sort of lecture on what had happened. I grimaced when I realised that practically the whole of the school had witnessed it. The conversation from before was still annoyingly fresh in my mind, the lesson was doing little to keep my attention:
"Look Lucie, Mike's probably thinking you like him because of how you reacted to Edward earlier. Jessica's kind of cross with you because of Mike-"
"Oh that's ridiculous," I muttered furiously, Jessica was angry with me? Great, "she can have Mike; it'd be a relief to get away from him." Angela smiled slightly, I could tell she was suppressing a laugh.
"What actually happened? Did you run into Mike or something? I didn't see that part."
"I think he ran into me."
"Bet it was on purpose," Angela smiled knowingly, I groaned. Her expression softened slightly but a frown line appeared on her forehead. "Edward came to your rescue pretty quickly," She noted. I didn't reply. "What happened between you?" Her voice was lower than a whisper now.
I looked at her in shock. How the hell was she so darn perceptive?!
"N-nothing. Nothing's happened. Nothing did, or ever would. Why do you think that?" I stuttered, a little too quickly. Angela looked at me seriously and I sighed. I liked Angela. She was probably one of the most genuine people in here, not one to gossip or make fun of me. I knew she wouldn't pry. I felt guilty for not being honest with her. But I wasn't like I could just tell her that the last few days had been complied of me trying to understand why vampires wanted my blood. And the fact that I'd been constantly trying to forget the moments where Edward and I had been in a very close proximity to each other.
"I think that Lucie," Angela said quietly, snapping me out of my thoughts, "because I've seen the way he looks at you."
"Edward doesn't look at me." I mumbled.
"He does Lucie, more than you think." Angela was sounding far too Alice like for my comfort. Why did everyone sound so wise these days? Life would be so much easier if maybe stayed oblivious. She smiled at me as we walked into class, murmuring one thing more to herself then me as she took her seat. "He's jealous."
I snapped back to the present and focused hard on the lecture, but my efforts were fruitless. I'd felt like scoffing at the thought of Edward being jealous then. And I still did. But I couldn't just deny the fact that he was trying to apologise to me. I wasn't that I hated him for what he did. Merely my own frustration at not being able to hate him for what he did. I wanted to hate him.
Because hate was an emotion in black and white.
I could understand hate.
But I couldn't understand what I felt.
***
History had eventually passed, so had Art, and now I was walking to Maths. Even walking was becoming difficult. My strides were sluggish and my feet felt like lead. My coordination was now alike to that of Bella's and I had to keep myself from falling over. I expected that I looked quite drunk. The classroom was practically empty when I arrived. Mr Varner still didn't look pleased to see me though. Honestly. I mean, I could (admittedly, my intentions were nothing of the sort) have arrived early because I was so very enthusiastic about today's lesson. And yet there he was, frowning at me. Typical.
I carelessly dropped my books onto the table; the class was steadily filing in. I closed my eyes briefly, unable not to concentrate on the muffled sounds and laughter around me. My head ached dully and my eyes stung a bit despite the fact that I'd closed them. It didn't take a genius to diagnose what was wrong with me. Lack of sleep. The symptoms were plain, though I hoped it wasn't as obvious to others as it was to myself.
"You're in my seat." Said a velvet voice. An unmistakable velvet voice.
I snapped my eyes open.
I glared at him, flustered. There he was, doing it again! Staring at me. It just wasn't fair. My mind conjured the most ridiculous scenarios when he stared like at me like that. I promptly discarded these. But still… it would be a lot easier if he just didn't look at me.
He coughed.
Oh, I was still in his seat, right. I moved without him saying anything else, sitting in the only other chair (the one right next to his) and angling it as far away from him as possible. All the while ranting furiously in my head about how darn arcane he was. Honestly, would it have killed him to sit here? The lecture started, but I didn't pay attention. I felt more tired than before, I would blame it on Edward's close proximity. The very same proximity I'd vowed not to create. Oh crud.
Suddenly, I saw a small note, carefully - and I hoped discreetly too - I slipped it into the book we were meant to be studying from and read it. Edward's elegant script was stupidly perfect. Just like the rest of him. I scowled in anticipation before reading it. Right so this was how he tried to cheer me up? Notes. Nevertheless, with an inward sigh, I read it.
Luciana, I'm sorry. I was irrational earlier when you were with Mike and I am sorry that you had to witness and be in the thicket of it all. Sorry.
I glared at the note. Great. He wasn't speaking and yet I could hear the formal voice. I hated that voice. How on earth it had been managed to portrayed in writing was beyond me. I glared at my name. Luciana. Yeah, Edward really knew how to brighten my mood, call me the name I despise. Perfect. Also, he'd said the word 'sorry' three times. How repetitive. Maybe he was trying to use the art of rhetoric. The rule of three or something.
But I wasn't getting persuaded anytime soon.
I didn't reply to his note. I listened to Mr Varner instead. See? Mr Varner, I'm listening, there's no need to keep giving me those glowers. Mr Varner's head turned to me then. Okay. That was weird. I suddenly found myself wondering if Mr Varner was telepathic, or worse, like Edward. Could Mr Varner read minds? I decided to test this theory.
Hey Mr Varner. You're lecture is frightfully boring, oh, and by the way, I like you about as much as I like Mike Newton, which should mean that right now, I'm very close to giving you a nosebleed.
Mr Varner didn't look up. Therefore killing the mind reading theory of mine.
That was probably a good thing.
I was sidetracked from any further speculations on Mr Varner's hidden supernatural powers by another note. I considered ripping it to shreds. Instead though, I just opened it. There weren't any apologies this time. Maybe Edward was learning not to be repetitive.
Please respond Lucie.
I didn't look at him. His expression was no doubt, filled with stupid sincerity. Instead, I hastily replied. My handwriting looked atrocious when compared to his.
I'm trying to concentrate on Mr Varner. My theory is that you're not listening.
His reply only took a second. I found myself feeling annoyed. Not only was his handwriting perfect, but he could also write faster than I could. Considerably faster. Stupid vampire speed.
Well, I question the premise on which your whole theory is based. I am in fact, listening intently. Exciting lecture isn't it?
Was he trying to be funny? I scrawled my reply quickly back, no longer caring how messy my handwriting seemed. It wasn't messy; his was just stupidly perfect. I mean, girls were meant to be the ones with neat handwriting. Not boys. I wondered if he could multitask too. If he could (which, knowing him, was certain, if he claimed to be listening and writing notes) then maybe he was a girl.
I was going to have to inform Emmett of this news.
The thought made me smile wryly.
Just riveting. Were my two scrambled words. I wanted to end this. He was trying to distract me. And I knew it was working.
You really to control that sarcasm of yours. Hilarious Edward.
Who said I was being sarcastic? After all, it was he who had been so only seconds before. The hypocrite.
Well technically, no one said anything; that would imply you'd started talking to me again.
I glared stubbornly at his words. Nice move Edward. Play the smart aleck, that's really going to win me over. He was lucky actually, with Mr Varner present, I wouldn't yell at him.
I was cross. How come he got to be the cogent one when it came to arguments? Life was officially completely and utterly unjust.
I didn't reply to his note. Instead, I turned back to Mr Varner; he was explaining the Fibonacci sequence, with an odd sort of fervour. I just stared. Seriously. I wanted to groan at this. Pointless I say. Sequences were things that children did. Not 17-18 year olds. And actually, the gusto he was putting into his speech on how the sequence often arose in nature was a little worrying. I don't think sane people were normally so ardent about sequences. I let out a delicate snort at the thought of sanity; I was hardly one to talk. (Or think.)
And then another note was in front of me. I ignored it. It almost certainly had some witty statement regarding me snorting. Which I really didn't have the patience for. Let Edward suffer in silence. He probably needed to learn about the Fibonacci sequence; I wasn't about to diminish his learning by reply to notes.
***
"Oh wow, Lucie did you seriously like, just blow Edward Cullen off, are you crazy?" Well yeah I might be, but that's irrelevant to this. Jessica was still talking animatedly; I could barely understand her words, the rate at which she was saying things made everything incoherent. We were sitting in the Cafeteria and I couldn't quite fathom why I was still on the same table of her. Maths had ended abruptly, the entire lesson had complied of Edward attempting to apologise to me. I didn't want apologies. I didn't care. I'd ended up telling Edward to leave me alone. And of course, everyone had chosen to be silent at the exact minute of my outburst.
It all snowballed in meaning that I had not only received a chat with Mr Varner; stupid contrite stares from Edward; and shocked glances from everyone in the vicinity, but also, gossip was following wherever I went like wildfire. I had walked alone to the cafeteria and I could have sworn I'd developed several stalkers. One of who I sincerely wanted to break his nose. Was it hard to guess who?
I glared at the green beans on my plate. Wishing I could become one. Being a green bean wouldn't be so bad. Beans didn't feel anything. They were plants: photosynthetic organisms that had cellulose cell walls, that couldn't move of their own accord, and grew in soil or water, and usually had green leaves. A plant's life was simple; easy. Plants didn't have to deal with emotions. They were lucky. I don't think I'd mind the being eaten part; after all, if I was a bean, I wouldn't feel it, plus it would be a quick death.
And this was what I resorted to. When I had Jessica babbling on next to me, I resorted to mental rants on the unfairness of not being a plant. Yeah. Crazy. I wasn't even exaggerating (well, maybe a tiny bit) but anymore of her gossip and I would literally implode with its pointlessness. Imploding sounded like a painful experience. I found myself wanting to be swallowed by the floor again. Or, I could just be a green bean...
"Jessica," I finally managed to cut across her. Firmly deciding to think of anything but plants. "What are you talking about?"
"You and Edward." She said simply and slowly, trying to patronize me, making it look like I was the idiot, instead of herself. I should have guessed as much. I groaned at the thought of how long she'd been speaking of this without my realising. It was probably halfway through lunch already. All I'd done was stare at the food on my plate sullenly. Still tired and desperately trying not to show it. The thought of Edward made me feel sick again, the horrible twisting sensation in my stomach. I welcomed any thoughts on green beans now.
"What? Why?" I asked, unable to prevent my voice from rising. Jessica's grin was alike to what a panther would look like before eating its prey. To me, her look said two words: got you. I remembered Angela's comment on how Jessica liked Mike; it could probably account to why she was giving me a deride look. My stomach plummeted and I felt like slumping down into the table in defeat. Jessica's voice was continuing in a high pitched sort of sound. I didn't bother to decipher her words anymore, they were just rumours. Rumours and gossip. Two things I hated. I suddenly found myself wishing Angela would arrive. Jessica was driving me crazy.
I heard the sound of a chair being pulled up and I sighed in relief expecting to see Angela's kind face. But no. I ended up with Lauren. My day was officially hell. She greeted me by looking me up and down and then sneering. I had a strong urge to slap her, but with the thought of how much makeup would wipe off on my hand, promptly decided not to do it.
Oh yeah, and the whole fact that violence was a bad thing.
My eyes drifted around the cafeteria, and I met Alice's gaze. She gave me a consoling look; at least she knew I was suffering. Jasper was grimacing next to her, and Rosalie and Emmett were looking at each other. Edward wasn't sitting with them. I wasn't sure whether to be relieved or angry. I just hated myself for the sick feeling of disappointment again. It was ridiculous. I shouldn't be disappointed. I wasn't disappointed. I stopped thinking about that; Lauren's words reached me instead.
"Yeah, I don't get it though. She's hardly pretty, Bella was but she isn't, she's barely cute. Why do they even stay around her? She hardly talks as well. Boring if you ask me." I just looked at Lauren, not bothering to hide my disgust at her. It wasn't hard to guess the subject of their conversation. But I didn't really care; I didn't have time to deal with their trivial bitchiness. Lauren sneered back at me, not covering up for her words; I didn't even care for what she'd said. It was after all, mainly fact. I didn't care if they thought I was the ugliest person on the planet though, it wasn't like finding out that Jessica and Lauren were attracted to me was going to be the highlight of my day.
Lauren continued, evidently presuming she'd hit her mark on trying to offend me, leaning over to whisper to Jessica. Though I hardly count that as whispering, half the cafeteria was listening in on their conversation. Seriously, people at Forks have no life. If they'd all resorted to listening to them as a method of entertainment then I was sick of the place.
If it wasn't for the Cullens. My mind added silently. If it wasn't for the fact that secretly, you love the idea of the world being more than it seems, and if it wasn't for the fact that here is the only place you've ever felt at home. The only place you've ever felt like you had a family. And because this is where a certain somebody who you'd secretly do anything for lives. Yeah okay, there were a lot of reasons why I did like Forks. I scowled at not being able to lie to myself. Though the last thought had gone a bit awry.
Typical, my stupid thoughts were being cryptic to me. I wanted to hit something. Lauren's voice drew me back to the present, she was lucky she was sitting a few seats away from me. Maybe she'd get a chance to run if I started to fly at her no doubt with a manic gleam in my eyes. A gleam alike to those of the mentally unstable.
Well, weren't my thoughts cheerful today?
"She isn't pretty though. Basically anorexic anyway, and her hair is definitely dyed, I can tell a fake blonde anywhere. She's probably just using it as an excuse, is she stupid too?"
Well Lauren. No, I'm not stupid, I happen to know more then half the teachers in this school, unlike yourself who are probably only fit to end up as poor hairdresser or something ignorantly less dignified beginning with S and ending with T... Jessica was giggling slightly, I'd had enough.
I sat up, my chair went flying backwards. Everyone turned to look at me, but Lauren continued to talk, her words were getting louder. She was smirking and revelling in the attention.
"And she's got bags under her eyes, not that beauty rest would help her. Bet she never sleeps." I couldn't stop my intake of breath at that. Lauren couldn't have done more damage if she had kicked me in the stomach. I physically hurt from her words. They were like a slap, I could hear Demetri again and I wanted to scream at Lauren for causing it. For letting myself almost succumb to the darkness.
I could hear his voice, the cafeteria was falling away, I was with him again. Standing helplessly, as he twisted my hair from my scalp, whispered in my ear. More darkness, I felt a scream rising in my throat, desperate for release. His cold voice penetrated me, as I felt ice replace the blood in my veins.
"I knew I'd get you to scream."
My breathing came out in short gasps. But I could hear Lauren's snide tone. And I concentrated on it with all I had. I couldn't let that happen. Not now. Not at school. Her voice still seemed distant. I felt my hands shake; I quickly interlaced the fingers into a knotted fist in an attempt to stop that. I knew my complexion would now be drained of colour. I hated Lauren. Officially hated her. If she hadn't mentioned that none of this would have been happening to me, it was her fault.
"Honestly, a dyed blonde who's anorexic and doesn't sleep, why do the Cullens like her? Ugh, I mean she has Angela as a friend but that's about it, which isn't much considering, the geek. But the Cullens? It's probably because they're freaks, I mean hot freaks, but freaks all the same. Not sure about Edward though, I think his hotness cancels out his-"
That was enough. I felt rage inside me; I wanted to force it upon her, anything to mask what I'd just relived again. What I knew I would relive if I dared succumb to rest.
"Look Lauren," I said fiercely, not caring that everyone was staring at me. Let them stare. I'd put on a show. Nothing mattered at this moment to me. I didn't feel embarrassed by the attention for once, my head was pounding with images I couldn't let myself remember. And I tried to induce as much venom into my words as possible to act as a distraction. "I don't care about your stupid gossip. I don't care if you think I'm the ugliest person in this room. And I sure as hell don't care that you think I'm stupid. But I do care about my friends. Angela included. Yeah, she's smarter than you will ever be, that gives you no reason to label her. Oh, and I'm fed up of you. You're just a sick person who has nothing better than to make stupid rumours up in her spare time. So shut up about my friends. They're not freaks. It's rich of you to even think of it compared to what you are." Each of my sentences was sharp and punctuated. Lauren's mouth fell open in shock at my outburst, looking like I'd just slapped her.
With that, I stood up, proud at myself for not launching at her and punching her senseless. Violence was rarely the answer, though I had to admit it was probably a lot more satisfying. I could feel people's shocked gaze on me, and I hoped that my sudden outburst of anger would cover up for how pale I looked, and how close I was to collapsing. My head pounded. I needed to sit down somewhere. They couldn't know how I was feeling now. They had no idea what thoughts were trying to seize me. I felt sick.
"Oh, and just for the count," I called as I walked towards the doors, unable to not smile at the look on Lauren's face, contorted in fury and beet red in humiliation. Everyone was waiting on my word; Jessica looked speechless and even had the nerve to give me an apologetic look. I could tell she would want to be friend now. Pathetic.
I finished off my words just as the bell rang.
"My hair is naturally blonde."
***
Mr Banner's voice was one low, continuous monotone. He sounded like even he was bored with what he was saying (which wouldn't be a surprise to me) as he continued to lethargically write in his illegible script on the board. It was pointless really; no one could read a word of it. And by now, most people were looking outside, jaded of the tedium.
But despite Mr Banner's effect on the class - which was to say; sending half the people to sleep. He still continued - with a sort of apathetic relentlessness, I might add - I only caught a few words of what he was now mumbling in that charming voice of his. And even these didn't make much sense: carbonates; electrolytes; something about bacteria in cheese. See? How on earth could all of those be mentioned in the same sentence?
Eventually, I just gave up. There really was no point in listening to him. I probably already knew more than him on the subject of biology anyway. I let my eyes drift around the class room. Everyone was staring in different directions to the board. Angela had her head rested on her hands. Her eyes would continue to flicker to the person who sat a few seats away: Ben.
I caught Mike looking at me, and his eyes lit up when I stared back. I didn't mean to stare back; I'd just been shocked to see him staring, it wasn't like how Angela was, with a faint red tinge appearing on her cheeks if Ben looked back. No. Mike wasn't like that. And I was pretty darn relieved too. But now, the moment he realised I was looking back, he started to grin.
Oh great. I quickly looked back to my work. Embarrassed, and slightly repulsed at the idea of what Mike was now thinking. I really hoped he wouldn't wait for me or anything after this class.
Seeing Mike always made me want to hit something. Preferably him. I groaned internally at my next class (which by some cruel fate I was sharing with Mike) Gym. Ah well, I thought, trying for once to look on the bright side. Be optimistic for once. At least I'd get to channel my need for hitting into sport. Though admittedly, I think the basketball coach would be a bit surprised if I started showing so much vigour in the sport… and a bit shocked when he realised how many of the basketballs would continue to connect with Mike's head.
I frowned. I seriously had to stop thinking about things like that.
Mr Banner's voice was now very loud. That was odd.
Oh right; he was talking. To me.
"Miss Raven? Are you with us, Miss Raven?" Mr. Banner's voice boomed low and sarcastic. Wow, he'd actually said my surname right for once, that was a surprise (and for once, I wasn't being sarcastic). Snickers from the desks surrounding me followed. I swear that man has something against me. Seriously. Can't he see I'm fighting my inner demons at the moment? That I'm trying to work out this mess of a life? I do not have the time to concentrate on biology?! Sad to say. But true.
I still hadn't replied, instead staring at the engravings in the wood on my desk. My head hurt slightly, I've never realised how loud Mr Banner's voice was. It hurt my head a little. I wished he'd just shut up. Sleep deprivation rarely improved my ability to study on biology or listen to people intently. If only I could explain that to Mr Banner. Oh yeah, sorry, I'm just a bit preoccupied with trying to figure out when the hell stupid sadistic Volturi vampires are coming to Forks, why I can't see my father instead of being here, and still attempting not to fall asleep. I frowned and refocused on the shabby pencil engravings on the desk, saying that to Mr Banner would only result in me ending up in an asylum.
"Luciana, pay attention." Like everybody else is? "Else I can assure that you will fail this module." He was probably right. I bet even if I did get full marks on the next test, that he would fail me. He just didn't like me. Maybe he had something against intelligent people. I looked up at him through innocent eyes. He repeated his demand. "Luciana, pay attention." God, why did he insist on calling me that? The impertinent fool.
"I am." Even I knew the words sounded a bit forced. He didn't comment on my response directly, instead speaking to the whole class. He was going on about how slipping grades always come from students who ditch school now. All the time sending me subtle hints as to who he was referring to. I swear that man is determined to prove me wrong.
The lesson passed irksomely slowly. I spent the entire time thinking of reasons to why Mr Banner didn't like me. My behaviour was probably the main reason. It struck me as odd though; to all the other teachers I was pretty much the perfect student. Well, maybe not Mr Varner, but he had been trying to teach us the Fibonacci sequence, which was ridiculously easy for our age group. But still, despite these two exceptions, I never normally retorted back to teachers. I really don't know what was becoming of me.
The bell rang then. I let out an audible sigh of relief. I do believe that was the longest Biology lesson I'd ever had in my life.
"Remember you have your preliminary exams next week," Mr Banner announced to the class, "and some of you better start revising fast. Especially those who have been ill." He accented the last word as if it was foreign, with heavy distaste. I could have sworn he was speaking directly to me. I glowered in his direction. If only he knew. Honestly, the man was sorely mistaken when it came to the subject of my intellect. Was he really still under the assumption that I was no more than an irritable blonde? He shot me a brief glance, and my suspicions were confirmed with his next words.
"Some of you need to work harder."
With that, students began trundling off. Well, they probably were just walking not trundling, but it still seemed like an apt description. Sheep trundled right? And they were after all, pretty much sheep. I scowled when collecting my books. Wondering why on this occasion (excluding all others) Mr Banner seemed to hate me so much. Okay, so I had nearly fallen asleep in his lecture. But come on! I've been sleep deprived, and it wasn't exactly the most gripping thing, was it? Anyone could have almost fallen asleep in that; I could have sworn even Angela yawned.
I miss my bag, I thought to myself suddenly when scooping up the books. Holding them all like this was tricky, I had to balance them precariously in my arms, each one felt like it was about to slip.
I started to walk to the door, Mike joined me. I resisted the urge to sigh. This time, not in relief. I wanted my stick again (the same one I used to fend off unwanted thoughts, it was just going to have a different purpose now.)
"Talk about heat and pressure." I mumbled, it seemed prudent to at least try and talk with Mike. I mean, he was probably a nice guy under all that… annoyingness. "I feel like I'm going to turn into a metamorphic rock." Mike stared blankly at me. I was stupid to have engaged him in intelligent conversation. Though I suppose he did have a reason for his blank look. I mean rocks were rather a random subject.
But quickly, he composed his vacant look and started laughing enthusiastically, as if I'd just come up with the wittiest joke on the planet. As apposed to just muttering to myself. I frowned, unsure if Mike was trying to impress me, or if he was being sarcastic. Knowing Mike, he probably didn't even know what a metamorphic rock was. I'm not implying that he isn't intelligent or anything… So it was more likely not to be the latter. Mike didn't seem like the type to use sarcasm. Very unlike me in that respect.
Sarcasm was basically my forte. I didn't have many, but I did have sarcasm. No wait - not sarcasm… irony.
After he'd stopped laughing, he grinned dopily, his sky blue eyes overly keen, holding the door to the classroom open for me. The gesture was a parody of being a gentleman. Maybe he was trying to take a leaf out of Edward's book. His smile widened at my expression; I guessed he took my shock as amusement. He was sadly mistaken there. I didn't find it remotely humorous. Screw sticks. I needed an axe.
That did it. I was crazy. Actually, and officially crazy. I was fantasizing about running after this boy with a sharp axe. Crazy. I am crazy-
"Lucie?" Mike's voice cut across my insanity argument. My mental insanity argument. Yeah. More evidence to add to the crazy theory there. "You okay? You look sort of…demented."
Mike was very unwise to make that particular observation.
I glared at him. Wondering how I was going to phrase the proceedings: "Hey Mike, look, I'm sorry if I break your nose. It's just something I've been dying to do for a while now, and since you called me demented and all, I thought it was a pretty darn prudent time in which I could finally execute that particular fantasy of mine."
"Come on Lucie," He said, interrupting my thoughts again. I swear - I was this (and by that I mean, about a distance of 0.05cm) close to punching him. His voice was sickeningly cheery, I mean we had Gym next for God's sake; how could he be cheerful? He continued, it was the first time I picked out how irritating his voice sounded, "Don't just stand there; we're going to be late." I didn't move. Instead, I glared at him.
Wait, I've found another forte of mine: glares.
Using all my will power not to jump on him there and then, (he'd misinterpret that, I'm sure) my glare turned into a glower. But he just smiled wider, as if my anger was a good sign for him to carry on. Seriously, couldn't he take a hint? Was he misinterpreting my anger as secret admiration or something?
Knowing Mike: yes. Yes he was.
I found myself mentally planning ways in which I could throw my heavy books at him, and trying to determine the angle that would have the most painful impact. I never thought I'd find the day in which both physics and maths would be useful. I was mistaken. Furiously, I tried to work out the perfect angle in my mind. Mike must have noticed my expression.
"Look, I'm sorry I called you demented Lucie. It was a joke. You're not. I swear," I wasn't listening. Doing equations that would determine the best possible book impact on his face was far more exciting. He was still talking though; I heard the last part of his sentence. "…seriously, you're hot!" And with that, he grabbed my arms to pull me closer and then draped his arms lazily around my shoulders.
In one simple swift movement. The entire atmosphere of the room changed for me. My annoyance to Mike vanished, replaced by the feeling that made me want to scream. Mike's rough touch had enforced it; it was too similar to his. I tried to block out the thought relentlessly, refusing to let this happen now. Of all times, at school and with Mike.
It really wasn't Mike's fault. He had had no idea that this would happen. He didn't realise that only yesterday a sadistic vampire had gripped me, causing an irrational fear to engulf me whenever I was touched roughly. I tried to compose my expression, but soon I knew it was too late.
I could barely distinguish between the thoughts hitting me and reality now. My head swam as Mike slipped the arm around my shoulders to my waist, murmuring something crude in my ear. Still oblivious it seemed. But I didn't hear it. I didn't hear anything expect his voice. The one that was now consuming my mind again. The same one that had haunted my dreams over and over.
My entire body froze. I felt the books clasped in my - now ashen white - hands fall to the floor. I didn't hear them connect with the earth. The dull thud didn't reach me. Everything was in slow motion suddenly. I felt the air escape my lungs again, I was winded. I couldn't see. I couldn't think. I had no recollection of Mike being beside me as I felt myself fall. The light slipping as darkness loomed forever closer, luring me into the deep abyss. The void in which I couldn't escape.
The floor was now tilted at a 90 degree angle. As I felt myself sway.
And then the night engulfed me. Time was frozen, yet I could hear a furious wind in my ears. Motionless figures surrounded me; their skin glowed eerily pale in the moonlight. I found my heart racing in anticipation. The atmosphere mirrored the darkness that surrounded me. The figures were too still. I squinted through the black trying to make out who they were. Graceful even in stillness.
I could hear someone calling my name. But I couldn't decipher who. A growl sounded somewhere.
"What happened?!
"She fell, I-I didn't-"
"Leave Newton. Now."
"No, she's on the floor, Cullen, you idiot!"
I felt a flurry of movement, almost like I was soaring. But something else tugged at my mind. Something twisted and tainted. Dark and sinister, I felt a whimper leave my lips.
I couldn't hear anything else after that, I felt like I was underwater. All sound had ceased, and the darkness materialized once more. The eerie clearing surrounded me, and the cold air sent multiple shivers up my spine. I walked towards one of the frozen people, they seemed unable to move or see, their expressions frozen in horror.
"Such a useful power…" Drawled a voice. It terrified me, I swivelled around, but everything slowed as I did so. My breath came out in white smoke in the bitter air. I searched for the chilling voice, and my heart beat faster. Adrenaline pumping through my veins. Every nerve was taught like a live wire inside me. My senses sharpened, and I could see the figure motioning towards me.
He extended one pale fore finger. Beckoning me.
All I knew was that something was wrong. And a gripping sensation kept me stock still. The man's lips curled, was it meant to be a smile? My eyes darted, searching for an escape as the air thickened. But all I was presented with was the darkness. An opaque black. I looked back to the figure beside me, and my heart leapt in recognition. I searched for his face, craved the warmth of his gaze. With a jolt I realised the entire Cullen coven was around me. But they were unmoving. Unseeing. I bit back a scream.
But the chilling voice broke my search. It was closer.
"Come to me, Luciana. They can't see you. They can't feel anything now. You're trapped with us." Another figure presented himself, a dark cloak billowing in the nonexistent breeze, he was short, and yet radiated unmistakable power. "There's no one else to save you now…"
Hands clasped my shoulders and I yelped in shock. Twisting away from the clammy cold. I tried t turn away, but my feet didn't respond. Tears of frustration welled in my eyes, I felt one fall from my cheek at hit the earth. The tiny sound was magnified in the clearing. My frantic heartbeat was the only other sound to break the silence.
I felt myself falling, but not before I saw a figure run towards me, I couldn't see properly with the tears blurring my vision. She was running. It didn't make sense, everyone else was still. I was bound to the spot as were the rest of the Cullens around me. It was a girl, her brown hair was nearly black in the lack of light, it fell in cascades around her distraught face. She seemed oblivious as to whatever control the darker figures emitted. She grabbed my trembling hand.
"Run Lucie, run. Now." Bella's voice…
"What's happening?" The desperate question left my lips in a cry.
"Find your father!" She screamed back, but I barely heard it. Sounds were coming to me muffled, I tried to focus sharply on her terrified figure, but the harder I focused, the more she slipped away. I saw her lips move in aguish as she continued to speak, but no sound came out.
And then Bella faded away.
And I was swallowed by the earth.
***
"Lucie, Lucie!" My eyes fluttered open I awoke to Mike crouching over me, anxious. My throat was hoarse and I seemed unable to draw breath. "You were screaming." he answered my unsaid question. Tears splattered to the floor. A growl from above scared me.
"Leave now Newton." I closed my eyes to prevent more tears, but darkness presented itself behind my closed lids, a darkness stained with red.
I felt myself shake in fear as someone lifted me.
There was a sensation of time passing. How long I don't know. Voices echoed anxiously above me, but I couldn't distinguish them. I just floated in the sereneness. I couldn't reopen my heavy eyes and soon I realised the darkness was suffocating.
I heard a breath at my ear, the soft velvet was earnest. The sensation of the cool against my heat sent a shiver through me. I felt the person suspending me shift slightly in readjustment.
"You're safe now." There was no doubting the certainty in that tone. I knew the truth of his words, but fear still pulsed through my veins, my hands felt cold and clammy as they hung limp, such an odd contrast to my feverish forehead. I felt disorientated. Still captured by the darkness previously, wanting to understand what it meant, but greatly fearing the outcome.
I looked up at him. And the moment I saw his expression, my anger became little less then a dying flame, extinguished into a puff of smoke by the look on his face. I saw the look in his eyes, a distant sunlight breaking my darkness. They withheld a new kind of fire now, a radiant sort that both penetrated me still and knocked me breathless. And I didn't care. I didn't care that I shouldn't have felt like this. I didn't care that I'd been angry at him. I didn't care that it was wrong. In that instant, the chaos fell away, and only one thought saturated my clogged up mind. Because Edward dispelled all of that. He countered the foreshadowing furore that was plaguing my dreams. He could understand.
He would have seen all that. Edward could witness my dreams; I had no clue as what he made of it. But I knew he would have experienced the same consuming darkness.
I just stared at him as he stared at me when I collapsed against him, into his hard embrace.
I mumbled softly two - yet so portentous - words into his marble chest.
"You're forgiven."
He looked back at me, his voice shook slightly.
"Don't ever do that again." He whispered. Angling my face so that I had to look into his.
"What?" My voice croaked. My heart thrummed rapidly at the same time as butterflies erupted in my stomach again.
"Faint without me right next to you. Mike was a pain to fight off. The idiot didn't even catch you." He muttered viciously, but not without staring at me, humour underlined his dark tone. I smiled weakly, my strength returning slightly.
"And you would have?" I asked sceptically.
His expression was far too serious.
"Without a doubt."
***
Awhhs. They made up! I can predict the torrent of reviews going: Where's Bella? Can't say. Not very hard to guess… but she appeared in the creepy dream o.o… foreshadowing much?
Ha! You can't threaten me now. Because that was not a cliffy. I had to end it there… because I would have ended up going on and on… and then the length would have been more ridiculous than it already is. Sorry Esme didn't have a big part… ugh. Too many characters to fit in! Now, I think only one reviewer requested they went back to school. Hehe. Sorry, I just had to, and it shows how messed up everything is in a way (..or maybe not) OH, and with questions regarding: isn't her father bothered about her staying with the Cullens?! She was only away for one night. And I won't say much more… because I've kept you all hanging regarding the Lucie's father situation, haven't I? *evil cackle*
This was one of those chapters that baffle me. *grunt* There were things here, that just.. Sprung into life! Like Lucie's conversation with Carlisle? … That was not meant to happen. *I do believe I began ranting on about potassium levels at one point. Arbitrary much?) But. It did. I have no control over my characters, it's ludicrous. So yeah. Apologies if you were confused at that. I didn't delete it. Who knows, maybe you all learnt something useful… ah what am I kidding :p
Oh dear me… as you might have noticed, my sort of aversion to Mike slipped out a bit here eh? I don't even hate Mike that much…I just… it's so funny to threaten him with nose-breaking-situations… yeah. I know. I'm crazy. Get over it already :p
HA! I've decided this has uncanny likenesses to Harry Potter. Okay, so I re-read this, and you know when Lucie woke up and Mike was like: 'you were screaming' well… that was kinda like when Harry woke up from the almost-dementor-attack on the Hogwarts express. SO. We officially have a new addition to the cast: with Carlisle starring as Gandalf; (okay, not Harry Potter, but… close enough :p) Edward starring as Dumbledore. And Mike… MIKE is a DEMENTOR!
Can't you SEE the similarities? ;) All we need is for Mike to… just, you know… put on a sort of gormless expression (oh, they only have mouths don't they?… we'd need to gouge his eyes out… and his nose…is it possible to 'gouge out a nose'?… Mike can be an experiment!) Get him a kind of billowy dark cloak… and make sure that everything he touches gets oh-so-very-cold… and BAM! We'd have a demented-Mike! (Yeah. Bad pun I know. Demented… dementor… I'll just shut up now… :p)
Now. I probably updated 30 minutes later than I should of for one big scary reason.
'GAHH. That was scary!' are my current thoughts. (Yup, they're oh-so-very-articulate-huh?) Okay, so just a second ago, (well, 30 minutes ago… I'm still recovering from it all) I was scared a lot, by a big spider. Now, I'm not actually one to get scared that easily (unless someone jumps out at me… then I scream very loudly) but I was sitting here typing and then just froze. Because, just to the left of the screen (yes ON the laptop, inches away from my hands) was this gigantic *…I just waved my arms around to express myself. But then remembered that people cannot see me… darn.* but yeah, literally, gigantic ruddy great SPIDER!
So. I didn't scream. I didn't run. I didn't kill it. I just sat there paralysed, convinced it was about to spring and bite me. (… a vampire spider.)
In the meantime, Mouse was on my lap. She must have sensed my stillness or something because she looked up and glared (yes, Mouse can glare, quite scarily in fact) at the spider. And then. It MOVED. (Now, you gave to understand, that when anything remotely small and edible-esque to Mouse moves, she sort of goes… well, crazy.) So, the act of moving was very foolish for the little - well, big - spider to do. And I don't think it helped that it sort of… scuttled, (yeah that's the only way I can describe a spider's creepy 8 legged walk: a scuttle) along my screen, this big black thing against the white word document. The next instant, Mouse was jumping on my laptop and chasing the spider along my desk.
I, meanwhile, was still paralyzed in my chair. Mouse chased it along the desk and I think she wanted to eat it. So, I tried to stop her, because the thought of her eating the spider was both unpleasant to the spider (because, well, it would've been eaten, wouldn't it?) and myself, because I really did not want to be licked by a spider-eating-Mouse. *incase, on the off chance, that people do not read my babbles. Mouse is a cat… well okay, this doesn't make much more sense if she's a cat does it? Nope. Thought not.* So. End of that anecdote. I was a brave person who ended up saving the spider… which is now… oh crud. I have no idea where it is…
*shudders some more*
OKay. I have one tonne of Science revision and a project (nasty little - or should I say stupidly big - those things are *shudders*) to do. The thing is, I've done about 2 pages (out of the um 15 *urrgh!* that we're meant to do.) and well… Mouse has this annoying tendency to sleep across paper surfaces (namely, my work.) So yeah. My small Science work is covered in hairs.
And, speaking of hairs. You know that kiwi fruit painting? (you know.. The one that Mouse sat on) My Art teacher questioned me on why it was covered in hair. I had to sporadically lie (because she hates cats) and say that thought I'd use my creative licence and make the picture… abstract. So yeah. Go furry kiwi fruit!
I am about to crack people. (no, I have not already done so) There are BIRDS in my walls. Literally living in my walls. Heaven knows how the got in there they are chirping and driving me crazy (.. Well, more crazy then I already am) … I think I'm about to implode. They're so darn annoying! So yeah, could I - perhaps? - get some reviews, preferably before I lose my mind! I'll be… so happy if you review. Please. I'm not very motivated at the moment :(
Lily - who'd really appreciate reviews to save her from implosion…